- Larry: How do you spell "fifty"?
- Moe: Make it seventy-five.
- Well-dressed woman: What did you say?
- Moe: I said it's nice to be alive.
- The Reporter: Professor, I can't stand it any longer! Who was throwing the pies?
- Prof. J. Ogden Denkfeather: Oh, I threw the pies!
- [starts laughing hysterically, then a cream pie hits him in the face]