- [first lines]
- Captain Rogers: Men, this countryside has been terrorized for more than six months and we've got to put a stop to it. It's liable to be as tough an assignment as you've ever tackled. Naturally, the county sheriffs will cooperate in every way possible, so don't hesitate to call on them if you need help. From now on, it's up to you.
- Higgins: You call yourself a dentist, will ya?
- Bones: Now wait a minute, mister! Let's talk this over!
- Higgins: By the time I get through with you, you'll not be talkin' - just lispin' you'll be - with meself as a dentist, too, and I won't pull your teeth; I'll be knockin' 'em through the back of your head!
- Steve Langdon: Then you decided to take up denistry?
- Bones: Oh, yeah, I was lookin' at a book he left back there and I figgered denistry wasn't nothin'. Pullin' teeth just took a little muscle.
- Steve Langdon: And judgment.
- Bones: Yeah, maybe I should have read the book instead of lookin' at the pictures.
- Steve Langdon: Say, does that stuff really cure pain?
- Bones: Well, it's kinda like my singin'... takes your mind off of other aches.
- Lucky Barton: Hello, Mrs. Barton.
- Celia Barton: Why so distant, Mr. Barton?
- Lucky Barton: Well, I just wanted to look at you.
- Celia Barton: Have I changed much in two years?
- Lucky Barton: Why, none of us are getting' any younger, but you're wearin' pretty well.
- Lucky Barton: How do you like our West?
- Celia Barton: Oh, it's beautiful, but there's an awful lot of it, isn't there?
- Lucky Barton: What are you going to do?
- Bones: I'm writing a letter from Captain Rogers to Warden James telling him to release Collins into my custody.
- Lucky Barton: You can't sign Captain Rogers' name to a thing like that. That's arson! Er, that's larceny! You get life for larceny!
- Bones: Then I'm sending a telegram to the warden, telling him that Collins has been reprieved. I'm signing the governor's name to it.
- Lucky Barton: Oh, that's double larceny!
- Bones: Yup. Double or nothing!
- Lucky Barton: Hey, that might be a good idea at that.