- Vocalists: [singing with a whisper] You~ shouldn't smoke, you shouldn't smoke... / *harmonizing* It's no fun to smoke just one/ Take six at a stroke/ Fume and fuzz and sizzle... /
- British Pipe: Children should not smoke, rather!
- Vocalists: Light a fag and tag a drag/
- Bossy Cow: This is not a joke/
- Fat-Emma: You will squirm and... /
- Owl: Hoo-hoo/
- Corn Cob Pipe: Little kids shouldn't smoke tobaccy! *spits*
- Vocalists: You'll feel ill and see spots and get a tummy ache/ Inhale, exhale, smoke until you start to bake/
- Bing Crosby Cigar: So smoke a lot/ you're on the spot/ you may have a stroke/
- Rudy Vallée Cigar: Puff and puff and pu~uff/
- German Pipe: Little boys should not smoking cigarettes!
- Vocalists: Smoke like that and chew some more/ now that we have spoke/ chew and chew and chew-chew/ Little boys should not smoke/
- Vocalists: *harmonizing*
- Cab Calloway: [after cleaning pipe] Little boys~ shouldn't smoke!/
- Porky Pig: [woke up from a snap of the person's fingers; stuttering] Who are you?
- Nick O'Teen: Who am I? Why, I thought all the smokers knew me. Here's my card.
- [shows the name Nick O'Teen 1313 Tobacco Road]
- Nick O'Teen: So you like to smoke, eh? Well, you came to the right place, sonny...
- [Nick O'Teen throws Porky to a pipe cleaner box cover, binding him with smoke chains]
- Nick O'Teen: ... And you get all the smoking you can handle!