Double Wedding (1937)

Myrna Loy: Margit Agnew

Photos 

Quotes 

• Margit Agnew : Do you take dope?

• Margit Agnew : Mr. Lodge, I appeal to you as a gentleman.

  Charles Lodge : No-oh, I'm afraid you've got me confused with somebody else. I'm a vagrant.

• Charles Lodge : I remember men in our regiment who'd ride out across the sands against the Arabs to face a certain horrible death carrying a rose in their teeth.

  Margit Agnew : I seem to see you with spaghetti.

• Margit Agnew : [speaking of her sister]  I'm very proud of what I've done. I kept her from making mistakes.

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Well, it's a lot of fun making mistakes sometimes.

• Charles Lodge : I was a professional guide in Paris at the time. I used to show people through the sewers.

  Margit Agnew : I can think of no one better qualified.

• Margit Agnew : You've made my life miserable from the moment you entered it. You spoiled everything I ever planned. You made me disbelieve everything I believed in. You said you wanted to marry my sister. Well, for Pete's sake, marry her and go to Hollywood.

  Charles Lodge : But I don't love Irene.

  Margit Agnew : What?

  Charles Lodge : I don't love Irene.

  Margit Agnew : Mr. Lodge, do you mean to tell me that you don't love my sister?

  Charles Lodge : Miss Agnew, I mean to tell you exactly that.

  Irene Agnew : And I'm not in love with him. I love Waldo.

  Charles Lodge : [looking at Margit]  And I love you.

  Margit Agnew : I beg your pardon?

  Charles Lodge : I love you.

  Margit Agnew : [sic]  I beg you pardon.

  Charles Lodge : Margit, I love you.

  Margit Agnew : [tearfully]  Well, why didn't you say so, you big grasshopper. I love you too.

• Margit Agnew : Oh, you big bigamist!

• Margit Agnew : You swore to me you'd never see Irene again. In spite of that, you had dinner with her at the Lafayette. You had tea with her this afternoon at the Normandy. You've been leading her astray with false promises. You promised to get her a film career. You promised her a Japanese butler and a Negro chauffeur. You promised her a Beverly Hills suite on a hilltop. Can you give her those things? No! You haven't a penny. Have you gotten her a film contract? No! You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

• Margit Agnew : I used to dream about knights in armor and rumble seats. I've read Bryon and picked wildflowers.

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Well, I've never read Byron, but you can't tell me anything about rumble seats.

  [chuckles] 

• Margit Agnew : Angelo?

  Angelo - Margit's Gardener : Yes, Miss Agnew?

  Margit Agnew : The paper says cloudy, probably rain. You won't have to water the garden today. How's your bambino?

  Angelo - Margit's Gardener : Don't water the lawn. The bambino? Oh, he's fine.

  Margit Agnew : So you can use that time to get rid of all these weeds. Be sure he gets his cod liver oil.

  Angelo - Margit's Gardener : Yes, Ma'am. Pull the weeds and oil the bambino. Yes, Ma'am.

• Margit Agnew : Waldo's a sort of distant relative of ours. Mother, you know, was a Leslie. The son of her brother, Edward Leslie, married one of the Boyer girls, Anne Boyer. Anne's sister Hermione married Steve Carroll, divorced Steve and married Elmer Beaver who had three brothers, Andrew, Paul and Alexander. Andrew was married twice. His first wife was a Brewster. His second wife was the widow of Morton Thomas, nee Caroline Cook. Andrew and Caroline were the parents of Waldo. Get it?

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Nope!

• Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Why didn't the old lady pick out a man for you too?

  Margit Agnew : A man? I'm afraid I've never given it much thought. Men and marriage and all that sort of thing take up too much time.

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Look, babe, you only have to run a dress shop. Catherine the Great had 50 million Russians on her hands, and she had plenty of time left over.

• Margit Agnew : Keough, how do you know all this?

  Mr. Keough : I, Miss Agnew, was the first G-man. Long before they even thought of it in Washington.

  Margit Agnew : But, Keough, couldn't you be mistaken?

  Mr. Keough : No, ma'am. Why, I had Dillinger sewed up four times. I just couldn't get the commissioner on the phone, that's all.

• Margit Agnew : Adolescent bohemianism! Sleeping all day, drinking all night. Play-acting in garrets dressed up in our mother's clothes. It's called being an individual, isn't it, Mr. Lodge?

  Charles Lodge : Yeah, among other things.

• Margit Agnew : Making fun of respectability is the easiest form of wit, Mr. Lodge.

• Margit Agnew : You're the lowest, most contemptible... You're beneath contempt. You haven't enough character for that. You dissolute, conceited... uh, vagrant.

  Charles Lodge : Did you hear what she called me? A vagrant.

• Margit Agnew : You children must be very tired. Go home and take a hot tub and I'll meet you at the office at 10:30.

  Waldo Beaver : Well, I'd like a shower.

  Margit Agnew : Showers make your hair fall out.

• Margit Agnew : Waldo, did you know about this?

  Waldo Beaver : No, but I can understand it. He's got yumpf.

  Irene Agnew : He's got a monopoly on it.

• Charles Lodge : Who rang that gong?

  Margit Agnew : I did.

  Charles Lodge : Oh but you mustn't. It's for the telephone.

  Margit Agnew : Telephone?

  Charles Lodge : Well, yes. I get all my calls over at Spike's place. Whenever they want me on the telephone, they ring my gong. You mustn't.

• Margit Agnew : Keough?

  Mr. Keough : Yes, Miss Agnew.

  Margit Agnew : How good a policeman were you?

  Mr. Keough : Best on the force, Miss Agnew. Crooked politics ran me out. You see...

  Margit Agnew : Some other time.

• Margit Agnew : You were the best on the force, Keough?

  Mr. Keough : Yes, Miss Agnew.

  Margit Agnew : My, my! How we all missed being killed in our sleep.

• Charles Lodge : Oh well, don't you... don't you wanna talk about something?

  Margit Agnew : Yes. Do you take dope?

• Charles Lodge : Stonewall!

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Charlie!

  [both laugh and hug one another] 

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Why didn't you tell me it was Charlie Horse?

  Margit Agnew : Charlie Horse?

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Certainly!

  Margit Agnew : Then he's an Indian?

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Well, I'll say.

  Margit Agnew : He told me his name was Lodge.

  Charles Lodge : Well, it is Lodge.

  [to Mrs. Bly] 

  Charles Lodge : I told you all the time that my name was Lodge, but you insisted on calling me Horse.

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Well, you said I could call you Horse if I'd let you call me Stonewall Jackson.

  [both laugh heartily] 

  Margit Agnew : For the sake of my sanity, you two have met before?

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Paris. April. Oh, the happiest month of my life.

• Margit Agnew : Mr. Lodge, in January, 1931, you were in Paris. From there you went to Monte Carlo. And, on February 2nd of that year, you were in Berlin.

  Charles Lodge : Was that a crime?

  Margit Agnew : While you were in Monte Carlo, you gambled night and day. Do you deny that?

  Charles Lodge : No.

  Margit Agnew : Why did you do it?

  Charles Lodge : I wanted to win.

  Margit Agnew : Ah ha! Then, why did you leave for Berlin in such a hurry?

  Charles Lodge : Because I won.

  Margit Agnew : Oh.

• Mrs. Kensington-Bly : [after Charles open a door and sticks his head in behind her, apologizes and retreats]  Who was that?

  Margit Agnew : Must be one of the paperhangers. They sometimes get to look like that.

• Margit Agnew : Yes, I've known your type before. You call black "white" just to flatter your ego. Probably order pistachio ice cream when everyone else is eating vanilla.

  Charles Lodge : I like peppermint.

• Charles Lodge : Well, you see I've always had an idea that given the proper subject, I cold paint a really fine portrait. Now, I'm sure that under the inspiration of you and your hate, I cold paint as I've never painted before.

  Margit Agnew : Well, I hate you. What's your proposition?

• Charles Lodge : I give you my personal guarantee that after I work on you for one month, I'll forget Irene completely.

  Margit Agnew : I couldn't spare a month. Two weeks.

  Charles Lodge : I don't think I could forget her in two weeks. Let's split the difference. Make it three weeks.

  Margit Agnew : Very well, three weeks.

• Margit Agnew : One should know everything in advance, and plan accordingly.

  Charles Lodge : One should know nothing in advance, and plan accordingly.

• Mrs. Kensington-Bly : How many children are they going to have?

  Margit Agnew : Well, naturally that's up to them.

  Mrs. Kensington-Bly : Well, that's mighty white of you.

• Margit Agnew : Oh, you're the most revolting, cheap, four-flushing...

  Spike : Uh, uh, uh, uh, don't hit her, Charlie.

  Shrank : He'll answer to me if he does.

• Margit Agnew : Oh, if you were only a man.

  Charles Lodge : If you weren't a woman.

• Margit Agnew : Oh, it wasn't your fault. You were obviously under the influence of that rundown genius.

• Waldo Beaver : He thinks everybody ought to live in an auto-trailer.

  Margit Agnew : Oh, he does?

  Waldo Beaver : Yes, he calls it the covered wagon of the future.

• Charles Lodge : Now see hear, Miss Margit of Margit Incorporated. You can't dictate to love.

  Margit Agnew : I'm not interested in love.

  Charles Lodge : Well you should be. A woman as intelligent and beautiful as you are.

• Margit Agnew : I warn you. My patience is not inexhaustible.

  Charles Lodge : Well, neither is mine. After all, a man's home is his castle, even if it is on wheels.

• Mr. Keough : Don't worry. A detective is like a doctor. He's not allowed to tell all he knows.

  Margit Agnew : There's nothing to know. Now, find out all about him.

• Margit Agnew : Check the lunatic asylums. He's probably missing from one of them.

• Charles Lodge : You must have some of this spaghetti. It's simply unparalleled.

  Margit Agnew : Not for breakfast. I eat normal digestible food.

  Charles Lodge : Well, it's awfully nice. Spike sent it over. He cooked it himself. It's lost a little of its curl but that's on account of the rain.

• Margit Agnew : In addition to being the most unhealthy, you're easily the most treacherous man I've ever known.

  Charles Lodge : I excel at everything I attempt. Have some more gorgonzola.

  Margit Agnew : [as she takes a piece of cheese]  I hate gorgonzola.

  Charles Lodge : [as he lifts the cheese tray to smell it]  Mmmm, the pearl of cheeses.

• Margit Agnew : Well, it was nice of you to come to my defense like that.

  Charles Lodge : Oh, shucks it weren't nothing'. Anyone in my place would have did the same.

  [the cast almost cracks up as he puts his hand on an inkpad] 

• Claire Lodge : You see, Charlie hadn't a penny when I married him. And I had scads of money.

  Margit Agnew : He married you for your money.

  Claire Lodge : Oh, not at all. He left me for my money. That is on account of my money.

• Mrs. Kensington-Bly : It begins to look more and more like a hothouse.

  Margit Agnew : Or a nut house.

• Margit Agnew : Why should the very simple process of marrying two people suddenly take more time than drawing up the Constitution of the United States?

• Margit Agnew : Officer, this man is drunk.

  Charles Lodge : Officer, I can explain everything.

  Mounted Policeman : Oh, a Red, huh?