- Judson Craig: Do you realize that I have guests downstairs, that Miss Lyons was singing? I thought the ceiling would come down!
- Penny Craig: Why didn't you stop her?
- Mrs. Lyons: You say the most amusing things, Count.
- Lord Michael Stuart: Family trait, you know; a ready wit and complete lack of character. We drink, you know.
- [Kay kicks him under the table]
- Mrs. Lyons: [laughing] Oh, how amusing! You drink. Oh, yes, of course, you drink.
- Lord Michael Stuart: They're funny things, these family traits. For instance, the Stuarts drink and the Craigs, they like to kick people. Tell me, what do the Lyonses do, madam?
- Mrs. Lyons: The Lyons roar!
- [laughs giddily]
- Mrs. Lyons: I thought you were a gentleman!
- Judson Craig: I'm not a gentleman, I'm a father!
- Mrs. Lyons: You're an old fool!
- Judson Craig: And you're an old
- [pauses to think]
- Judson Craig: buzzard!
- Penny Craig: [after the waiter delivers her lunch in the restaurant, she feistily exclaims] Muffins and milk! That's no food for fighters!
- Penny Craig: Don't you worry, Martha. He'll be mighty glad after we've saved him from the clutches of that horrible adventuress. Do you suppose she has a past?
- Penny Craig: Daddy, you better cable here right away.
- Judson Craig: I?..
- Penny Craig: Just say, 'Girls arrived safely. Love and kisses, Jud.'
- Mrs. Lyons: Judson, are they very rich?
- Judson Craig: They own practically half of Australia.
- Donna Lyons: Half of Australia?
- Mrs. Lyons: Oh, but that's mostly bush, isn't it?
- Donna Lyons: Oh, waiter.
- Waiter: Yes, madam?
- Donna Lyons: This is the Bristol, isn't it?
- Waiter: Yes, madam.
- Donna Lyons: Are you quite sure?
- Waiter: Well, yes, madam, -- I've been here 11 years.
- Donna Lyons: Almost as long as I have.
- Waiter: Yes, madam.
- Lord Michael Stuart: Uh, Stevens, have you noticed me getting more absent-minded lately?
- Stevens: I certainly have, sir.
- Lord Michael Stuart: You know what happened today, Stevens?
- Stevens: No, sir.
- Lord Michael Stuart: I tipped the lamp post and struck a match on the doorman.
- Stevens: You don't say so, sir?
- Lord Michael Stuart: It's bad isn't it?
- Stevens: That's, that's pretty bad sir.
- Penny Craig: [to Bill and Joan] Go ahead and kiss her. I can stand anything after all I've been through.
- Judson Craig: Oh, I'll take you to the zoo tomorrow, hmmm?
- Penny Craig: To the zoo? Oh, I see enough monkeys around here.
- Judson Craig: What's that?
- Penny Craig: Oh, I just said it would be lovely to see the monkeys.