- Uncle Morton Middleton: What's this? A letter from my nephew. Well, there's one thing I'll say for him: he's done a lot of silly things but he's never been fool enough to get married.
- [he reads the letter out loud]
- Uncle Morton Middleton: Dear Uncle, you are cordially invited to my wedding tomorrow afternoon at four, your loving nephew, Townsend.
- [he screws the letter up in disgust and throws it away]
- Uncle Morton Middleton: .
- Uncle Morton Middleton: Eleanor, take a letter.
- Eleanor - Uncle Morton Middleton's Secretary: Yes, Sir.
- Uncle Morton Middleton: Townsend Middleton, Young man, my first impression of you was correct. You're a moron! I always thought you were a half-wit. But I was charitable - you have no brains at all. If you have any intelligence, you have a very clever way of concealing it. That's all.
- Eleanor - Uncle Morton Middleton's Secretary: Shall I sign your name to it?
- Uncle Morton Middleton: Yes. Sign it six times! And put a bomb in it!