Uncivil Warriors (1935)
Curly Howard: Operator 15, Major Hyde
Photos
Quotes
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Operator 15 : You know I quit my job at that bakery.
Miss Judith Buttz : Why?
Operator 15 : Oh, I got sick of the dough and thought I'd go on the loaf.
[sound of Moe slapping Curly]
Operator 15 : Oh!
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Operator 14 : [eating the cake that contains an oven mitt] How's yours taste?
Operator 15 : Like a mattress.
Operator 14 : Want mine?
Operator 15 : I'm stuffed now.
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[Curly has accidentally burned a piece of paper containing information about the Confederacy's movements]
Operator 14 : Do you know what that paper was?
Operator 15 : Hot?
[Moe slaps Curly]
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Operator 15 : Oh, my baby! What have they done with my child?
Colonel Buttz : But, Mrs. Dodge, I, uh, I, we...
Operator 14 : There, there. Don't worry Dixie-Lou, I'll get him.
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : Him?
Operator 14 : Her.
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : Her?
Operator 14 : IT!
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Union General : What happened to Operator 13?
Operator 15 : He swam across the river and died of Potomac poisoning. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...
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Operator 15 : Do you think they'll ever find him?
Operator 14 : [arrives with a bundle] Here, honey.
Operator 15 : [shudders] Where did you find it?
Operator 14 : He was walking down by the railroad.
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : Alone?
Operator 14 : No, I was with her.
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Operator 15 : All Union soldiers are now wearing Union underwear! Think of it!
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Operator 15 : [as Mrs. Dodge] I'm a victim of circumstance. I'm going to faint.
Colonel Buttz : Oh, she has fainted. Get her a glass of water.
Operator 15 : No, whiskey!
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Operator 14 : [hearing Curly "whoo-whooing"] What's the matter? What happened?
Operator 15 : I was lost! All by myself!
Operator 14 : Let me see your hand.
Operator 15 : [he holds out his hand, and Moe slaps him] Ow!
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Operator 15 : I used to work in a bakery as a pilot.
Miss Judith Buttz : A pilot?
Operator 15 : Yeah, I used to take the bread from one corner and pilot in the other, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...
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Colonel Buttz : Major Filbert's here because there have been Northern spies in our Southern ranks. The major suspects everybody; he's known as "Bloodhound" Filbert, and he can smell a spy a mile away.
Operator 15 : [whispers to Moe] I'm glad he can't smell 'em any closer.
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : [Moe hits Curly in the chest and on his forehead] Pardon me, I didn't quite get the name.
Operator 12 : This here's Captain Dodge of the Horse Marine.
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : Well, I've got quite a pleasant surprise for you, Captain.
Operator 14 : What is it, Major?
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : Why, they told me that your father came in this afternoon.
Operator 14 : My father?
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : Yes.
Operator 14 : Boys, Dad's here.
Operator 12 : Hm.
Operator 14 : Is he still as tall as ever?
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : No, he's rather short.
Operator 14 : Well, he can't borrow any money from me, sir.
[laughs]
Operator 12 : Oh, excuse me, gentlemen, I've gotta take care of a week back.
Major 'Bloodhound' Filbert : Pardon me: how long have you had a weak back?
Operator 12 : Oh, about a week back.
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Confederate Sentry : Halt! Advance, and give the countersign!
Operator 12 , Operator 14 , Operator 15 : Cumberland!
Confederate Sentry : That's only for the first line!
Operator 14 : So it is.
Operator 12 : Charlie gives it for the second line.
Confederate Sentry : Charlie?
Operator 15 : Sure, everybody knows "Good Time" Charlie, he walks like this...
[Moe, Larry and Curly start to march, then they walk past the guard and ran away]
Confederate Sentry : [tries to pull his bayonet from the fence post] Hey, wait!
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Soldier : Halt! Advance and give the countersign!
Operator 12 : Cumberland, and Charlie walks like this!
Soldier : Halt!
Operator 14 : What seems to be the trouble here?
Soldier : Well, he doesn't know the countersign!
Operator 15 : He's not supposed to, I reckon. Do you know who this is?
Soldier : No. Who is he?
Operator 15 : Why... tell him, Captain.
Operator 14 : Why, yes! Um... he's a gentleman of the South!
Operator 12 , Operator 14 , Operator 15 : Of the South! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Operator 14 : Never mind, I'll take care of him.
Charlie : Hey! You-all looking for me?
Operator 14 : Why, no. Who are you, stranger?
Charlie : I'm Charlie; you know, the fella walks like this.
[Charlie starts walking]
Operator 15 : No, you're the wrong Charlie. The Charlie we're looking for walks like this-a.
[Moe, Larry and Curly start to walk away, and then they run away]
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Operator 15 : I got a better one for the Colonel.
Colonel Buttz : What is it, Major?
Operator 15 : Three men and three beds, only had two blankets. How did they keep warm?
Colonel Buttz : I don't know. How did they, Major?
Operator 15 : They turned on the heat, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...
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Colonel Buttz : Let's forget business, gentlemen, and, uh... freshen up our juleps.
Operator 15 : Sure, the Colonel is right! Let's have a nip and tuck!
Colonel Buttz : What's that, Major?
Operator 15 : One nip, and they tuck you away for the night! Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...
