Smarty (1934)

Joan Blondell: Vicki Wallace, Thorpe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [Last line]  Show me. Tony, dear, hit me again.

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : If he really loved me, he'd have hit me long ago.

• Vernon : Did he, eh, ever hit you before?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : No. But, he's thrown things.

  Vernon : [Disbelievingly]  No.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Yes!

  Vernon : When?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, a couple of nights ago he threw a slipper at me - one of mine, with heels. I still have the bruise - on my leg. I'll show you.

  [Starts to lift up her dress] 

  Vernon : Well, eh, I'll take your word for that.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Don't you want to see my bruise.

  [Seductively, bats her eyelashes] 

• Vernon : Vicki, you're really through with Tony?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, absolutely. I'm not going to have people say "poor little thing her husband beats her".

• Anita 'Nita' : Good night.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, eh, there's a pink negligee in the closet. Its brand new and awfully cute!

  Anita 'Nita' : Sounds exciting!

• Vernon : My client, your honor, asks for absolute divorce, on the grounds of extreme and intolerable cruelty. The plaintiff, as your honor can see, is a tiny, little woman. Little, more than a child. And she was the victim of a wonton, brutal, unprovoked assault by her husband - a man who weighs 183 pounds in his socks.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Stripped!

• Vernon : Tell, his honor, of the slipper incident.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, yes. Well, there was another night, we were just going to bed - so I didn't have much on - again he lost his temper. He threw a high heel slipper, so hard, that I had a bruise for days. Right here.

  [Points to her upper thigh] 

  Vernon : How large was the bruise?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Don't you remember? I showed it to you.

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Guess who's coming to dinner tonight?

  Vernon : Oh, the Shah of Persia.

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [Vicki wearing a backless dress. In walks Tony and Nita]  There are two beastly hooks here I can't fix.

  [Nita tries to help] 

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Well, Tony, come here and let me see you.

  [to Nita] 

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, your hands are just like ice. Tony, you do it for me. Aren't you going to kiss me? It's all right, you know.

  [to Nita] 

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : His hands are always so nice and warm.

  [to Tony] 

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Thanks. You've always been a great hooker-upper.

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, Tony, you used to like me in black. Everything had to be black. Nighties, under clothes, and everything! Remember?

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Tony, you're a beast!

  Tony : I know, that's why you divorced me; because of my beastly little treatment of you.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Don't, Tony!

  Tony : The trouble was, I had the wrong technique. I've been going to the movies quite a lot recently and there the girls are quite different. They get kicked around and pushed in the face, with grapefruit and they love it!

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [Opening up a candy box]  Mmmm. Everything looks so good, I could never make up my mind.

  Tony : Always your failing.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, I thought this was going to be a Brazil nut and it isn't. Here, you finish it.

  Tony : Not me.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why not? You used to like finishing my candy.

• Vernon : VIcki, look. Look! That darn fool girl's got this cuff button in wrong!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Now, stop raving and I'll fix it for you.

  Tony : Good, ole Edna. She always used to get 'em in cockeyed for me, too!

  Vernon : You don't have to remind me that we also share the same maid.

• Tilford - Tony's Butler : Pardon me, madame, but, did you have an appointment with Mr. Wallace?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, does Mr. Wallace usually see, eh, ladies by appointment at this hour?

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Hello, Tony.

  Tony : Well, I'll be! What the devil are you doing here?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : I've been here a long time. I was in your bedroom.

  Tony : Vernon's been telephoning like a mad man.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Yes, I know, I left him. I ran away!

  Tony : I ought to break your neck.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why don't you? I deserve it. I heard what you said to Vernon.

  [Leans in and smiles] 

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why don't you?

  Tony : No, his job, not mine.

• Tony : Go back to your husband.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : I have come back to him.

  Tony : Oh, no. You can't commute between husbands.

• Tony : Vicki, this flow of humor is just a little more than I can bear!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, now don't be irritable, precious.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [to Anita]  He thinks he looks very dignified, but he's not a bit, really.

  Tony : [getting very annoyed]  Vicki, cut it out!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Well, darling, you *are* irritable!

  Tony : Well, who wouldn't be? You make me absolutely impotent with rage!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [mockingly]  You mean, "diced carrots"? Ha ha ha...

  Tony : [abruptly gets up and slaps her across the face, knocking the bridge table over]  Oh, Vicki, I'm *terribly* sorry!

• Tony : [Trying to apologize for having slapped her]  Vicki, darling, please forgive me... I'm terribly sorry.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : For heaven's sake, don't start to weep all over me.

  Tony : Oh, I'm terribly sorry...

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : It's a little too late for that. I'm through.

  Tony : Oh, Vicki...

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : I'm sorry, Tony. I've made up my mind.

  Tony : Oh, you're kidding!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : No, it's all over. I *won't* live with a man that hits me.

  Tony : Oh, Vicki, you can't. You know I love you. You know I'm crazy about you...

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, yes! And you're *so* demonstrative!

• Vernon : Vicki, you're really through with Tony?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, absolutely. I'm not gonna' have people say, "Poor little thing, her husband beats her." Could you handle it for me?

  Vernon : [slightly taken aback]  You wish to retain me as your lawyer?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, now don't use big legal nasty phrases like "retain." I want a nice quiet divorce, in words of not more than two syllables.

  Vernon : [primly]  It will be final - in plain English.

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [Tony has angrily walked out, slamming the door shut behind him]  I wish people wouldn't bang doors. It sounds so final.

• Tony : [giving Vicki gifts of flowers and candies]  Here, I, uh, I brought these.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why, Tony! You never used to bring me flowers before we were divorced. And candy, too! How nice!

  Tony : [leaves the room to call out for George]  George, George!

  George Lancaster : What do you want?

  Tony : You win!

  George Lancaster : [laughs mockingly]  Ah, ha ha ha ha!

  Anita 'Nita' : [Tony goes back to the room with Anita and Vicki]  Well, what *does* he win, and why?

  Tony : He won just a little bet - 25 bucks.

  Anita 'Nita' : Don't be so mysterious.

  Tony : Well... I asked George, "Should I bring flowers." And he said, "You never used to take her flowers." And I said, "No." And he said, "Well, I wouldn't. She'll only make some crack about when you were married." And I said, "Oh, no, she wouldn't be so tactless!" And so we had a little bet about it... and you said it, and I lost.

  Anita 'Nita' : It was rather tactless at that.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : If you had an ounce of tact you'd have left five minutes ago to powder your nose!