Twice Two (1933)

Oliver Hardy: Oliver Hardy, Mrs. Fanny Laurel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Oliver : Baby, how about we go out to dinner?

  Stanley : [butting in]  That's a good idea. Let's go to Foo-Yung's and get some sukiyaki.

  Oliver : "Sukiyaki." Hmph!

• Oliver : Well what did she say?

  Stanley : She told me not to tell you that she's got a surprise for you.

  Oliver : Well don't tell me.

  Stanley : I won't. I can keep a secret.

• Mrs. Hardy : Why don't you leave him alone. You're always picking on him. Pick pick pick pick.

  Mrs. Laurel : You keep your big mouth out of this!

  Mrs. Hardy : [gasp]  Did you hear what she said?

  Oliver : [gives a little nod] 

  Mrs. Hardy : [crying]  I haven't got a big mouth have I?

  Oliver : [shakes his head] 

• Stanley : I'll take chocolate.

  Soda Jerk : We haven't any!

  Oliver : [the phone rings again. Mrs. Laurel, having become exasperated at the prospect that her husband is calling yet again to inform her that the additional requested ice cream flavor is unavailable]  I'll get it.

  [stands and answers the phone] 

  Oliver : Hello? Well, get vanilla. Anything!

  [hangs up] 

  Stanley : I'll take vanilla.

  Soda Jerk : We haven't any.

  Stanley : Well, what have you got?

  Soda Jerk : I told you we don't sell ice cream here. Next door.

  [points; Stan mimics his point, dumbfounded again. He shrugs as if to indicate defeat and leaves] 

• Mrs. Laurel : [to Mrs. Hardy]  Just because you wear the pants in your family, that's no sign you're going to wear them in mine.

  Oliver : Oh, well I wear my own pants in this family.

  Mrs. Laurel : Yes, and I wear mine.

  [Stan takes that literally and lifts her dress to see if she's wearing pants, and she slaps his hands away] 

• Mrs. Hardy : [to Stan]  Don't pay any attention to her. It serves us right for marrying into such a family.

  Oliver : Wait a minute. What's the matter with my family? I'll have you know that my family's just as good as your family.

  Mrs. Hardy : Oh yeah?

  Oliver : Yeah.

  Mrs. Hardy : After all our family's done for your family...

  Oliver : [slaps the table repeatedly]  Let's stop this arguing and get dinner over so I can find out what the surprise is.

  [Stan spits out his drink. Mrs. Laurel glares at him while Ollie looks down sheepishly] 

  Mrs. Laurel : Oh, so you told him, didn't ya?

  [looks upward. Stan follows her gaze, only for her to smash a dish on his chin] 

  Mrs. Laurel : Now let that be a lesson to ya.

  Mrs. Hardy : If I wasn't a perfect lady, I'd bust you in the nose.

• Oliver : [Ollie's wife, who is also Stan's sister, implies that Ollie is to blame for some shenanigans]  Why, it wasn't me. It was that dumb brother of yours.

  Mrs. Hardy : [gasps in disgust]  Don't you call him dumb. Why, you've forgotten more than he'll ever know - in his little finger!

• Oliver : Hello, baby.

  Mrs. Hardy : Don't baby me, you big lunk!

• Oliver : Who are you talking to?

  Stanley : I was just talking to Fanny.

• Oliver : [on the phone]  Is that you, baby?

  Mrs. Hardy : Yes, Pudsey Wudsey, it's me.

• Oliver : You know, that was a good idea of yours marrying into each others family.

• Mrs. Laurel : You get that hussy out of here!

  Mrs. Hardy : Don't call me a hussy!

  Oliver : Sit down.

  Mrs. Hardy : I'm not a hussy, am I?

  Oliver : No.

  Mrs. Laurel : Get that dame out of my house before I go nuts!