The Passionate Plumber (1932)

Irene Purcell: Patricia Jardine

Photos 

Quotes 

• Patricia : What's your favorite game?

  Elmer : Guinea hen, broiled.

  Patricia : Shall we play Baccarat?

• Patricia : Are you hurt?

  Elmer : I won't know that until I take my clothes off.

• Patricia : You're going to write me a check for 150,000 francs.

  Elmer : Whose name do I sign?

  Patricia : Yours of course!

  Elmer : That won't work, I haven't got a sou to my name.

• Patricia : Have you ever been in jail?

  Elmer : Once.

  Patricia : What for?

  Elmer : To see my father.

• Patricia : There's something I want you to do for me today.

  Elmer : What?

  Patricia : Take Fifi for a walk.

  Elmer : Your sister?

  Patricia : Oh, no! Fifi's the dog!

• Albine : If you'd put that man out of your mind, you'd be better off.

  Patricia : Oh, don't talk like a silly goose!

• Patricia : [Calling from the other room]  Albine!

  Albine : All be right there.

• Patricia : For an ardent lover, you're really late! Where have you been?

  Tony Lagorce : If I told you, that would mean another argument.

  Patricia : Involving another woman!

  Tony Lagorce : No. Patricia, I swear it. There never could be anyone but you in my heart.

  Patricia : Oh, leave your guitar of a heart. I'm dancing no longer!

• Tony Lagorce : Patricia, it is for your sake that I restrain myself at this moment. I shall see you at your apartment tonight!

  Patricia : Oh, it will be quite useless, I assure you.

• Patricia : Would you like to play with me?

  Elmer : Huh?

• Patricia : Now you listen to me, you wrecked my car and you're going to pay for it. Do you understand that?

  Elmer : Oh, I understand that, but, I don't understand how? Maybe I give you back a little at a time - say, two francs a week.

  Patricia : That would take exactly fourteen hundred and forty-three years and I don't care to wait that long.

  Elmer : Well, some weeks I can give you three francs.

• Elmer : Say, if your pipes ever freeze or you need your shower fixed, I'll do it for nothin'. Isn't there something I can do for ya?

  Patricia : Yes, there is! You look like a man who can be depended upon. If you made a promise, you'd go through with it, wouldn't you? Well, now this is what I want you to do for me. I want you to stand between me and Tony Lagorce. I want you to act as my lover.

  Elmer : Oh, I couldn't charge for that!

• Patricia : Oh, but I love him. I despise him. I despise myself for loving him!

• Elmer : I'll help ya. But, I don't know exactly what you want me to do?

  Patricia : I'll tell you exactly what I want you to do. I want you to stand between me and Tony Lagorce. If I try to go to him, hold me back. Use force, if necessary.

  Elmer : Oh, I couldn't do that. I might hurt you.

  Patricia : Oh, but you must!

• Patricia : Now, whenever he's around I want you to hold me in your arms, hug me and kiss me.

  Elmer : Kiss you?

  Patricia : Yes!

  Elmer : Well, I'll try. When do I start?

  [knock at the door] 

  Patricia : Right now!

• Patricia : Oh, you beast! You brute! Do you know what you've done? I could choke you!

  Elmer : What's the matter? Didn't I do it good?

  Patricia : Oh! Why did you do those things?

• Patricia : If this keeps up, I'll have to get a passport to get into my own bathroom!

• Patricia : Supposing Aunt Charlotte came here and found him? What could I tell her?

  Albine : I don't know. A Tuttle hanging around your bedroom all night would be hard to explain.

• Patricia : You can do more damage with one pair of hands than any man I ever saw!

• Patricia : Tony, now, now. Tony, I'll tell you the truth. Elmer was here, calling on me and - and when you came...

  Tony Lagorce : Calling in his pajamas!

  Patricia : They're not his pajamas! They're my paja-!

• Tony Lagorce : So, we know the truth! At last!

  Patricia : No. No, Tony, I can explain everything, darling...

  Tony Lagorce : And You! You made a fool of me for the last time with your lies and your running away.

  Patricia : Tony, please!

  Tony Lagorce : And all the time you've been in love with this insect! This cockroach! This turtle!

  Elmer : Tuttle!

• Patricia : Are you going to hang around here the rest of your life in my pajamas?

  Elmer : Yes.

  Patricia : Oh, you little thief! Go and dress!

• Patricia : When I look at you I don't wonder why Tony tried to get rid of you.

  Patricia , Nina Estrados : He'd belong to me if you would divorce him. If I would divorce him?

  Patricia , Nina Estrados , Elmer : Yes, if you would divorce him!

  Patricia : He told me he was married to you.

  Nina Estrados : And he told me he was married to you.

• Tony Lagorce : [Tony is strangling Elmer]  Tell me! Tell me about the contract! Tell me!

  Elmer E. Tuttle : I can't.

  Patricia Jardine : You can and you must!

  Elmer E. Tuttle : I can't. He's got his thumb in my windpipe.

• Patricia : You can do more damage with one pair of hands than any man I ever saw.

• Patricia : [Startled by Elmer behind]  Eek! How'd you get out of that bathroom?

  Elmer : You'd be surprised what a little talcum powder'll do.