- Grace Harrington: Stupid! How do you feel now?
- Patricia Harrington: [Pretending to be off her rocker in order to gain Ma's symphathy] You know how you feel when you don't know how you feel? That's how I feel.
- Patricia Harrington: Always remember - Nature gives us many of our features, but she lets us pick our own teeth.
- Ma Harrington: My neck hurts. I think I've dislocated my vertebrae again.
- Pa Harrington: Never mind the symptoms - - you can have the couch. Maybe you don't believe it, but I've had a pain the neck ever since we married.
- Pa Harrington: Your ma has her good points, Pat.
- Patricia Harrington: She sure has. They stick out all over her.
- Patricia Harrington: Ma, what is a hot dog?
- Ma Harrington: I don't know, darling. What is a hot dog?
- Patricia Harrington: A hamburger in tights.
- Patricia Harrington: If it wasn't for you our family tree would die.
- Grace Harrington: What do you mean by that?
- Patricia Harrington: You're the sap.
- Patricia Harrington: [at dinner with her family] Why do I always get the part of a chicken that goes over the fence last?
- Pa Harrington: [berating Ma] I wouldn't ask a dog to live in this house. As far as that's concerned, a dog wouldn't do it. We never were able to keep a dog. Every dog we ever owned ran away with a tramp.
- Patricia Harrington: No wonder a hen gets discouraged. She can never find things where she lays them.
- Tony Anderson: I came here to see Grace because I want a woman's viewpoint on these plans.
- Patricia Harrington: I'm a woman - and I'm just full of viewpoints.
- Tony Anderson: That's right - I hadn't thought of it.
- Grace Harrington: Shut your big mouth.
- Patricia Harrington: That's no keyhole in the front of your face.
- Ma Harrington: Mr. Bonaparte won't be using his telephone today.
- Patricia Harrington: The little devil promised to call!
- Ma Harrington: Don't say ain't.
- Pa Harrington: I've said ain't for twenty-five years.
- Ma Harrington: That ain't so!
- Patricia Harrington: It's a good thing it rains, or else there'd be no hay to make when the sun shines.
- Billy Caldwell: [Pretending to be a waiter, offering an appetizer to Ma Harrington] Noiseless celery from contented farms?
- Patricia Harrington: [Summing up her side of an argument regarding whether she should have been alone with Billy Caldwell] I don't give a whoopin' darn!
- Ma Harrington: Pat, I want you to stop hanging around when Tony calls on Grace. You just moon around.
- Patricia Harrington: I don't moon. Do I moon, Pa?
- Patricia Harrington: Star light, star bright; First star I've seen tonight. Wish I may, wish I might, Have the wish I wish tonight.
- Pa Harrington: What did you wish, Baby?
- Patricia Harrington: I wish I were beautiful and seductive.
- Pa Harrington: You are, Baby - - you're marvelous.
- Patricia Harrington: You think so, Pop, but nobody else does. I'd like to be entrancing, alluring, ravishing - like a stocking advertisement.
- Title Card: The Yacht Club - where if Mary had a little lamb it would cost $4.50 per order.
- Tony Anderson: Where's Grace?
- Patricia Harrington: She went out, but I'm sure she'll be right back. Please wait.
- Tony Anderson: I'm through! She can't make a sap out of me!
- Pa Harrington: For twenty-five years you've been whining and nagging and bawling and making everybody's life miserable...
- Patricia Harrington: [dreamily gazing up at the sky] Isn't that a marvelous moon?
- Tony Anderson: Not bad, for a town this size.