The First Auto (1927)

Russell Simpson: Hank Armstrong

Photos 

Quotes 

• Black Stable Boy : Sloe Eyes' done had a stroke, huh.

  Hank Armstrong : Where's my son?

  Black Stable Boy : I don't know, suh - but Ah've done sent for th' hoss doctah!

• Hank Armstrong : He talks like a damn fool!

• Barber : There's Stebbins' new-fangled buggy, what he sold his horses to buy! It's a great contraption - nothin' to pull it an' nothin' to push it!

  Hank Armstrong : Talk sense - every horse on the road'll laugh itself to death!

  Barber : They'll laugh, all right - 'cause they won't have nothin' else to do - - pretty soon the only horses you'll see will be stuffed ones!

  Hank Armstrong : A horse is practical - a horse has got sense - a horse is an animal - you fool! You ain't safe to shave a man! You're crazy! I'll never come in here again!

• Hank Armstrong : So you've quit th' honest work of horse-shoeing to make a fool of yourself over these loud smellin' machines!

• Jor Saunders : This auto's got more power than all your dray horses put together - and it can go faster than 'Sloe Eyes' ever went!

  Hank Armstrong : 'Sloe Eye's' little colt can leave your kerosene can so far behind you'll forget you're in a race - - for money, chalk or marbles!

  Jor Saunders : I'll take that bet fer a hundred dollars, Jockey!

  Hank Armstrong : Listen, folks - if you want to see a little colt beat one of these explosion buggies, be at the Fair Grounds in ten minutes!

• Mayor Jim Robbins : I hate to tell you, Hank - but - I don't think I'll buy the mare.

  Hank Armstrong : Sam - don't tell me you are gettin' interested in them autos.

  Mayor Jim Robbins : You see, Hank - the family is urging me to put the money in - something modern. Hank - we can still be good old friends, can't we?

  Hank Armstrong : I can't be friends with any man who'd rather feed kerosene to a buggy than look into the eyes of a faithful horse!

• The Auctioneer : Third and last call - sold to Ned Jarvish for six hundred and fifty dollars!

  Hank Armstrong : I know your reputation Ned - don't let me ever hear of your beatin' this little mare.

  Ned Jarvish : I bought her an' I'll do what I please with her!

• Hank Armstrong : Gosh - what's the world coming to next!