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1-50 of 63
- The neds are getting out of hand and need to be taught a little respect for their elders so Jack and Victor enlist the services of their hard man friend 'Big Yin' Innes. There is only one problem. 'Big Yin' must not be allowed near the Miduri, for that liqueur will have a very profound effect on him. Winston, meanwhile, counters bullying his own way when he gets a job at the local supermarket.
- Victor feels the need to get away from it all and when he hears that Danny's wife is selling Danny's old car, he jumps at the chance to buy it, even though it involves having to outbid Manky Frankie and, at the end of the day, is not quite the bargain he had hoped that it would be.
- Jack and Victor have crossed the Big Pond to stay with Fiona and are taking in all the tourist attractions - as well as the tacky souvenirs. With such an improved life-style why would anybody want to return to dreary old Craiglang? Where Winston has now got his feet under the table at Isa's. Her cooking is superb but he finds her incessant talking less palatable.
- Back from Canada, life in Craiglang seems really mundane to Jack and Victor, who consider taking up a hobby, such as enrolling for the First Aid Course at Glasgow University's night school. Boabby has troubles of his own. His custom is dwindling and he can't get his leg over. However, things could change when he brings in a pretty new barmaid and has a quiz night. Armed with their new-found knowledge Victor and Jack are determined to be the quiz champions.
- Jack and Victor decide to make use of the Dial-a-Bus service to go into town but their trip turns into a nightmare when Davie the driver suffers one of his psychotic turns and refuses to stop. Winston takes advantage when Boabby goes on holiday by persuading his temporary barman that he is the owner of the Clansman and, as such, entitled to all the perks that brings.
- Osprey Heights has suddenly become the venue for a card school and tight-fisted Tam has won disabled Joe's disability scooter from him in a card game. Jack and Victor set out to win it back for him. Whilst Shug gets arrested as a Peeping Tom, Winston has the satisfaction of seeing his long-standing feud with the local bookie work in his favour when he discovers he has won the accumulator. Or has he?
- Isa's husband Harry Drennan re-appears and, as she wants none of him, she gets Winston to pretend to be her boyfriend. Whilst Victor and his son have little in common Jack gets a tape from his daughter Fiona in Canada showing the family, and with it an invitation to go out and see her. Can Jack leave his old pal to fend for himself in Craiglang? Or, perhaps they could both go?
- Victor's son is coming to visit, but cynical Jack doubts it will happen - especially when neither of them catch what time his train is supposed to be arriving at the station.
- Jack Jarvis is a widower, whose life is being made a misery by his unsympathetic neighbours. He would like to move away but can't find anywhere. Salvation comes when he hears that the man who lives in the flat across the way from Victor McDade,his old friend and fellow widower, in Osprey Heights tower block has died, thus creating a vacancy and allowing Jack to be near his old pal, proving that they may be pensioners but they are still game.
- Envy turns to bewilderment and then concern when Jack and Victor see their friend Wullie dating the considerably younger Rena and the rumours start to fly that she wants to kill him for his money. Winston's new leg is rather loose-fitting and therefore not the best place to hide his cash when a young layabout is roaming the estate conning the residents out of money.
- For decades reclusive Archie has hidden himself away from the world but now there is no hiding place as the council are due to demolish his house. Jack and Victor take him under their collective wings in an effort to bring him into the twenty-first century whilst Winston decides to turn his flat into a cinema.
- Tam proposes to Frances, the librarian - with everyone spying on them. Winston bullies him into lashing out on a new wedding ring, rather than re-using his first wife's, but unfortunately Jack swallows it whilst performing a conjuring trick. Can the prune juice bring it back for the big day? Navid discovers that being taken over by the Spire supermarket group is less advantageous than he imagined.
- When Tam goes away on holiday Jack and Victor take over from him as D.Js running the local hospital radio service and acquire themselves quite a fan club. this does not include Navid who ends up in hospital with a delicate problem.
- Jack has got satellite television but Victor has not so, to enable both of them to watch, they ask Shug to put in a connecting hatch between their two rooms. Isa gets the wrong end of the stick when she hears about this and soon it is going about Craiglang that they are a gay couple.
- Christmas is looming but Winston gets conned by a ned into buying a turkey so fresh it's still alive, Tam devises his own means of delivering Christmas cards for Frances and Jack and Victor are left out in the cold when they offend Isa, who usually supplies their Christmas dinner. Are there consolations to be had by joining the pensioners in the Community Centre?
- A gang of construction workers headed by Chris move into Craiglang with orders to demolish the Clansman and replace it with new houses. Jack, Victor and Winston lead the protest outside the pub and come to the conclusion that one of them may well be Chris's father, a fact which they trust will prevent the Clansman from being knocked down. So, out of the trio, who's the daddy?
- The future looks bleak for Winston's leg. Victor pretends to be ill so his son will visit him and Isa meets a psychic in the Clansman and tells her she'll be run over with a car but Navid and everyone make a joke out of it.
- Revenge is sweet for Winston when he exposes the new bookie Frankie Reid, supposedly the elder brother of his old adversary Stevie, as Stevie himself and, thanks to personal tips from pundit John McCririck via the T.V. set, takes him to the cleaners, though his triumph is short-lived. Jack and Victor win a free tour of a local whisky distillery where they bend the rules and get thrown out - but with a valuable souvenir.
- A particularly cold snap envelops Craiglang. People are slipping on the ice and, worse, dying of hypothermia. Winston has the perfect solution, to fiddle the electricity and get free heat. Victor is appalled at this display of criminality. But then it is very cold and needs must. . .
- Jack fancies Barbara, the nice lady from the charity shop, who agrees to go on a date with him after prompting from Victor. Barbara arranges a double date for Victor with her sister, who isn't exactly smashing. Meanwhile Winston gets barred from the Clansman by Boaby and has to seek a new local.
- The workmen on the new building site are spending a lot of money on food and lining the pockets of take-away entrepreneur Vince, 'the Clydeside Poisoner'. With Navid away at his brother's funeral Jack and Victor are minding the store for him. Winston, who hates Vince, sees this as the perfect opportunity to set up his own fast food outlet from the shop and give Vince a run for his money.
- A money-lender appears at Craiglang and finds no shortage of willing customers. Jack and Victor are in the money too, not, as Isa believes, because they have 'tapped' money from the lender but because they have bought stock market shares from Navid. Tam and Winston have a run-in with neds on the local golf course and challenge them to a grudge match, the winners to have the run of the course.
- Jack and Victor decide to offer a helping hand to their recently-widowed friend Bert, who seems incapable of looking after himself. Winston, on the other hand, is certainly helping himself - to the favours of his new home help, Mrs. Begg. Later, they find that Mrs. Begg is offering more than she should be. . .
- Chris the Postie, who used to be a decorator, has offered to paint and re-paper Isa's flat for £160, but Jack and Victor send him on his way, offering to do it for nothing. However, they make such a mess of it they are forced to pay Chris themselves. Boabby is literally exposed when Tam gets hold of a porn tape in which he appeared - as Troy the Gardener - and Shug accidentally treats the whole town centre to a showing of it.
- Whilst Navid undergoes a mid-life crisis and yearns to be young again, the Clansman is to be featured on a television show, 'Blighty's Hardest Boozers'. Unfortunately, it just isn't hard enough so Boabby goes recruiting among the neds as well as presenting Jack and Victor as tough guys. The producer is not convinced, but then a real hard nut turns up and is so realistic there is a knock-on effect.
- Jack and Victor decide to look up Winston in his new seaside home.
- As a birthday surprise for Victor's 75th, Jack arranges a fishing trip on the River Kelvin in Shug's dinghy, along with Winston. They drift downstream over a weir, leading to an argument, but find a picnic, which they wolf down. Actually it belonged to a group of neds, who are not pleased. There is reconciliation but everyone ends up, literally, all at sea.
- Winston expresses an interest in moving to Finport by the sea, which he believes to be a playground for merry widows. Jack and Victor go with Isa to visit her recently-widowed friend Ella, who looks like Ken Dodd and whose husband was hired as a wedding chauffeur the following weekend. Jack agrees to take his place but a little too much of the celebratory spirit leads to him and Victor tying the groom nude to a lamp-post.
- Shop-keeper Navid is planning a family wedding and everybody from Craiglang is invited. Except Jack and Victor, that is, who seem to have been left off the guest list. Fortunately Wullie Mac, one of the biggest rogues - or 'tappers' - on the estate has just died and Jack and Victor are sure that if they search his house they will find a suitable wedding present to gain them an invitation.
- Jack and Victor face a miserable New Year when they become trapped in a lift at Osprey Heights. Winston recalls the daddy of all Hogmanays, in the dim and distant past when Craiglang knew how to throw a party.
- A trip to the local cinema creates a baffling mystery for the residents of Craiglang. Meanwhile, Boabby the Barman gets hooked on internet dating and attempts to coax Winston into giving it a shot.
- Isa gets into a fix with some animals, while Jack & Victor decide to go on that adventure.
- A special, combining audience reaction to the finale of the series, and the actors thoughts on the show. Detailing the fan base for the show as well as showing cosplayers, uploads and stories from the internet. Interviews with Boabby, Shug, Mick, in the audience, and Isa and Navid on stage. We finally get to see Meena's face.
- Having won a swish night out in a radio contest Jack and Victor meet two charming wealthy ladies , Liz and Pam, to whom they tell a pack of lies involving their owning a yacht and a place in Kenya. The ladies invite them to a country house party, where they are joined by Winston, Tam and Isa,also posing as something they aren't. In fact there are more impostors than genuine guests, all on the make and all having to run for it.
- Craiglang is in the grip of a heat-wave and grown men are fighting amongst themselves to nab the shadiest bench in the park. Jack and Victor are the first through the park gates, so how come Tam and Winston have always beaten them to it? Isa hears that her husband has died but she finds it hard to get back into the dating game.
- Craiglang is hit by two notable events - the first is Tam's sudden bout of generosity, though it quickly evaporates. More alarming is the presence of Hyperdales, the huge hyper-market which threatens to put an end to Navid's shop. He plans to sabotage it by committing arson after it has shut for the night. Tam, Winston, Jack and Victor try to dissuade him but . . .accidents will happen.
- A truck ploughs into the electricity sub-station, causing a power cut. Navid's shelves are empty due to panic buying and the pumps are off in the pub. Worse, a robber is taking advantage of the situation, burgling Isa's flat. The police arrive but they may not be what they seem. Fortunately Winston is about to ride to the rescue.
- Everyone loves the "Beefy Bake", especially Jack and Victor. But when Pete the Jakey claims to have invented the recipe, Jack and Victor take on the might of the Henderson Bakery in the courts to reclaim his lost fortune. Meanwhile, Tam's penny-pinching is making Frances feel unloved - Isa thinks it's time the romance was put back into their relationship...
- A pizza parlour opens around the corner from the Clansman and Boabby falls for the charming Stacey, who works there. But he has a rival in Stevie the bookie and although Jack and Victor give Boabby advice it's down to local gym owner and former boxing champ Jim Watt to suggest that the rivals get into the ring and slug it out for a date with the lady. Jack and Victor meantime go to bizarre lengths to try and get themselves a free pizza from cash-in-hand delivery man Winston.
- Tam and Frances enjoy fame and fortune with their new addition but it means baby sitting stints for Jack and Victor which is proving a bit of a strain. And a major character ends the series close to death. There will be a Christmas and New Year special.
- Words don't come easy, but the world of books and a certain lady librarian have got Tam and Winston all of a-fluster. Yankee happy pills are proving more of a temptation to Jack and Victor though after they bump into their old pal Stuart.
- Cheeky local kids (neds) are monopolizing the local park, so Winston decides to create a garden as a peaceful retreat. Jack and Victor are kept busy when their friend Ronnie gets committed after he has been found dancing in George Square in his undies. They pose as his brothers to secure his release.
- Is it a fox rummaging around in the waste bins at the back of Navid's shop? No, it's Pete the Jakey, the slovenly town drunk of Craiglang. It's a surprise to everyone then when he turns up at the Clansman, clean-shaven and wearing a suit and tie. He explains that he has got a new job as the council's 'facility' but Jack and Victor don't believe him and decide to follow him.
- Tam, the meanest man in Craiglang, has landed on his feet yet again by winning a life- time's supply of sweeties as well as free cinema tickets. Jack and Victor are not to be outdone and will come up with the winning slogan to advertise scones if it kills them. Meanwhile Harry Drennan, the long-lost husband of gossipy neighbour Isa, returns to the estate.
- To celebrate sixty years of friendship Jack and Victor go out for a meal but it costs the Earth and prompts them to lament the passing of the good old days. As it happens these are being celebrated in an exhibition at the city museum,dedicated to the Glasgow of their boyhood. Whilst there, they meet an old friend Frank McCallum, but he has certainly changed since they last saw him.
- It's Christmas time in Craiglang and Jack and Victor have joined the choir. Tam is plotting his way to the jackpot in Boabby's new fruit machine while Winston finds himself filling in as a Lollipop man at the top school in the region - a position coveted by others too...
- Jack and Victor's plans for a Highland retreat for Hogmanny go awry when they upset the locals, while Winston and Tam have plenty of trouble even getting there. Meena is away in India but Navid's jealousy over her old flame Natterjee draws him closer to Isa...
- Jack and Victor discover that gadgets make life anything but easier.
- Jack and Victor hear the news that an old friend has died. In his legacy, a new drink is appearing all over Craiglang. But where is it coming from?
- Jack and Victor offer a helping hand to Methadone Mick. A parking fine from the past comes back to haunt Winston and Boabby visits the City Chambers to receive his Citizen's Civic Medal.