Starring: Ioan Gruffudd, Michael Chiklis, Chris Evans (V), Jessica Alba, Hamish Linklater

5 out of 10 stars: Considering its utterly lousy first act and mediocre second it's quite an accomplishment that by the third act, director Tim Story and his cast have managed to drag Fantastic Four up to a 5 out of 10 star rating.

That may well be because Story appears much more adept at handling comic book characters than people and, in the first act, he's only got people to deal with.

Dr. Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) propose a scientific experiment where they will expose various flora to an unprecedented solar flare. Richards's supposition is that such flares caused genetic mutation and evolution on the Earth in the past and can do so again. They are rejected by NASA but become partners with Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon), who was handily not only Richards's roommate at school but who also is now a mogul of some sort who owns a space station. Von Doom assigns Susan Storm (Jessica Alba), his lovely "Director of Genetic Research" (sure she is, Victor, sure she is) and her younger brother, cocky pilot Johnny Storm (Chris Evans, enjoying the role, but it's a fun role anyway) to come along.

At Von Doom's space station they experience a much stronger storm than they had imagined. Ben, who is out on a space walk placing some of the plants, gets the worst of it, while the others are bombarded with spectral waves and THEN…well, then the projectionist must have skipped a reel…because suddenly they were back on Earth in a military hospital.

I really hope the projectionist skipped a reel because if not the jump cut between the astronauts getting buffeted by dangerous protons and their reappearance on the planet not a second later has to be one of the worst trim jobs in a major motion picture in recent memory (unless you count NOT lopping off a half-hour out of last year's Phantom of the Opera). But it can't be…the projectionist must have skipped a reel.

At this early stage of Fantastic Four so labored was the direction, so stilted was the acting, so flat was the dialogue, that I wasn't too concerned about the missing segment. I was rather grateful, in fact.

See Reed and Susan used to date, but he was too intellectual (in cinema terms this means stiff and boring) and they broke up. Now Victor wants to marry Susan (he proposes on the space station!), but not before he gets a chance to humiliate Reed a little. Story layers on the Peyton Place drama at such a breathless pace that one half expects to hear that Von Doom and Grimm were separated at birth or that Johnny Storm needs a kidney.

Back on Earth they notice that, exactly as Richards predicted, their genetic makeup has been altered: Reed can elongate his body. Sue can become invisible and set up a force field. Johnny can turn his body into flame and fly. Ben turns into stone and has super-human strength.

The realization of the changes is largely botched. The discovery that their DNA has been restructured is just another way to mess up a reconciliation between Reed and Susan; they react to the evincing of their powers with the same sputters as if they'd been overcharged for the mousse. "Look at me," says Susan, who turns invisible for the first time. "I can't," replies Reed. They could have immediately become united by the mutual circumstance but Story has to set it in a romantic restaurant, which just makes it silly.

Johnny Storm realizes he can turn his entire body into The Human Torch when Maria Menounos his candy-striper nurse goes heli-skiing with him. Lord knows what he would have become if Mary White had played his attendant.

We only see the aftermath of Ben Grimm's transformation. This section is played for a lot of laughs when it could have been played very seriously, very briefly, and largely dispensed with.

Once the Fantastic Four have transformed, however, the movie picks up. The action sequences, though largely nonsensical, are well done and move at a brisk pace. Even the repartee between Sue Storm (now redubbed Invisible Girl) and Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) begins to crackle. The genial teasing between The Human Torch and The Thing also feels right (and very reminiscent of the old comic book) though it hasn't been built on the characters of Johnny Storm and Ben Grimm.

The special effects, save the cheesy photo-shopped picture of Richard and Storm in Paris years before (to remind us they were once in love…and in Paris), are very good; Fox ponied up some serious cash to make this look good and the FX outfits they employed have not let them down. The filmmakers take a great amount of pleasure (and give it back to us) playing with the ramifications of their various super-powers, including their down sides: Richards creates for himself a more prominent, dominant chin when he's asking Sue if she wants him to be more of a standard hero, his face takes on the shape of the keyboard after he exhaustedly falls asleep on it.

But otherwise the only thing fantastic about Fantastic Four is its ability to pull itself out of the very deep hole it has dug itself into.