Quotes

Before I was known, I would go on stage and pretend I was other people. Once I pretended I was mentally handicapped. It was really wrong. One time I was a bad magician. And one time I pretended I was a Christian comic.

When I was a kid, I was afraid of other kids.

There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed.

The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else.

My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything.

I was a bad boy as a child.

I never really worked with Chris Farley, I hung out with him, but I had plans, I had big plans, movies, and I was in no hurry.

I have a very dark sense of humor.

I had no blood relatives till I made some.

I definitely know that I play the part, however big or small, in the deaths of at least two people, Chris Farley and Phil Hartman.

I believed in God my whole life, and then strayed away from it in my teen-age years, until recently.

Guilt is a weird thing to me. I don't have a lot of it.

You cannot be this successful without having God on your side.

I believed in God my whole life.

Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual!

I have a spiritual advisor I call up, when I just feel lost. Lately, I've been talking to God. I developed this dialogue in rehab, this dialogue with God, and every day I talk to God.

I laugh when I see people in pain. Sometimes I think it is a defense mechanism from childhood, where you're in so much pain you have to laugh. It is a survival mechanism.

I'm really ultra-affected by things, I feel things deeper, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and offended and sensitive and I'm almost paranoid very easily, and that's who I am.

[on continuing 'Newsradio' after Phil Hartman's tragic death]: Never gonna be anybody that can fill his shoes.