From Far & Wide, From High & Low Vol 23
A diverse list of 100 hard copy titles from my personal collection.
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- DirectorAdam WingardStarsAlexander SkarsgårdMillie Bobby BrownRebecca HallThe epic next chapter in the cinematic Monsterverse pits two of the greatest icons in motion picture history against each other--the fearsome Godzilla and the mighty Kong--with humanity caught in the balance.Love GODZILLA...Love KING KONG...Liked GODZILLA VS. KONG for the amazing GC mostly. The classic characters created by Ishiro Honda, Eiji Tsuberaya. Tomoyuki Tanaka, Edgar Wallace & Merian C. Cooper shared the screen before in the cult hit KING KONG VS. GODZILLA from Toho back in '62. This re-imagining from Legendary was the 4rth film in their Monsterverse which finds the agents of Monarch attempting to use the giant ape to locate a powerful weapon from Hollow Earth in order to halt Godzilla's assault on mankind. A deaf orphaned child from Skull Island communicates with Kong via sign language to convinces him to descend into the planet. Kong finds the mighty axe made from a dorsal fin of a Gojira in the cavernous remains of his ancestral throne room. Hollow Earth is similar to Skull Island & is filled with dangerous monsters but the worst is yet to come as Apex Cybernetics has harvested the brain tissue of the Ghidorah killed at the end of GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS to hardwire their robot Mechagodzilla. When Godzilla emerges from the ocean to attack Hong Kong after battling Kong to the death Ghidorah's brain over-rides Mechagodzilla's A.I. and immediately unleashes it's full arsenal to kill it's sworn enemy. The deaf child persuades Kong to join Godzilla in defeating the rampaging mecha with the fate of a city and perhaps even the world at stake. The special effects and creature designs are magnificent and the action sequences are terrific fun but everything moves at a snail's pace when the large cast takes center stage. The screenplay by Eric THOR: RAGNAROK Reardon & Max GODZILLA Borenstein didn't give the human players much to do by comparison to the kaiju and even if they had I'm not sure director Adam Wingard would know how to make any of it interesting. I only know Wingman for a few low budget horror anthologies that failed to leave a good impression and will never understand how a person with so little experience was permitted to helm something of this magnitude. With half of North America living like political prisoners GODZILLA VS. KONG still managed to turn a profit in the global market thanks to the same day release of the film to HBO & cinemas but did anyone love it? The human cast includes Millie STRANGER THINGS Brown, Alex THE STAND Scarsgard, Rebecca THE BFG Hall and Brian THE ETERNALS Henry. Average but I'm giving GODZILLA VS KONG an extra star for those spectacular CG monster battles.
- DirectorElliot SilversteinStarsJames BrolinKathleen LloydJohn MarleyA small desert town is terrorized by a powerful, seemingly possessed car, and the local sheriff may be the only one who can stop it.I fell in love a little with this nifty, low budget horror pic when I read the tag-line on it's poster; "Is it a phantom, a demon or the Devil himself?". James THE AMITYVILLE HORROR Brolin starred as the sheriff of a dusty town investigating a string of hit-&-runs involving a Lincoln Continental with opaque windows in this fondly remembered pic that will remind genre buffs of KILLDOZER, DUEL or maybe even JAWS. The gimmick here is that THE CAR is driven by a supernatural force unable to set wheel on hallowed ground in its' relentless pursuit of human prey. Kathleen INCIDENT ON A DARK STREET Kennedy is just fine as the sheriff's plucky girlfriend who probably regrets cursing THE CAR to hell when it later tries to parallel park on her face. John Marley who worked with director Elliott Silverstein before on the 1965 western CAT BALLOU appears as an endangered senior deputy trying to save his desert community from the killing machine. Some low-end but excitingly staged stunt work and pyrotechnics help sell the concept. Based on an improbable and slightly silly script by Robert MURDER BY PHONE Butler and Dennis REVENGE ON THE HIGHWAY Shryack. THE CAR was listed as being one of the 100 Most Enjoyable Bad Movies Ever Made by Razzie founder John Wilson. The Shout Factory blu ray disc offers 3 brief interviews by way of bonus features and a theatrical trailer. Followed 42 years later by the instantly forgettable sequel THE CAR 2: ROAD TO REVENGE.
- DirectorG.J. EchternkampStarsGrant BowlerKathleen MunroeMartin HancockAn unscrupulous District Attorney is savagely murdered and tossed out of a building onto his brand new car. Mysteriously, the District Attorney and his car come back to life as a single being with a thirst for vengeance.I watched THE CAR recently as a double feature with this throw-away sequel and marvelled at the differences between the two. THE CAR 2: ROAD TO REVENGE is unquestionably the better overall in terms of technical sophistication. The screen writers (Matt SHARKTOPUS VS WHALEWOLF Yamashita, Michael WEREWOLF: THE BEAST AMONG US Tabb & writer/director G.J. DEATHRACE 2050 Echternkamp) have densely woven a screenplay which borrows liberally from MAD MAX and CHRISTINE as much as the 1977 B-movie hit that inspired it and still manages to come up short by comparison. Part of the problem is the smallish budget and the other is Echernkamp. As a director his movie generates a couple of smiles during those scenes which are supposed to be laugh-out-loud funny and as a viewer you may raise an eyebrow here and there at the special effect stunt work but there's nothing that will make your eyes go wide. Grant Bowler; star of TV's DEFIANCE plays a hard nosed detective of a BLADE RUNNER-esque future world where cyborg gang members cosplaying ROBOCOP, A CLOCKWORK ORANGE and THE ROAD WARRIOR terrorize the law abiding citizens. An insane bio-engineer (Martin THE ENFIELD HAUNTING Hancock) and his steam-punkish terrorists kill an unpopular D.A. (Lee BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Barber) and inadvertently sign their own death warrants when the lawyers evil soul trans-migrates into the automotive body of his state-of-the-art sports car. The D.A.'s ex (Kathleen SURVIVAL OF THE DEAD Monroe) also looks like roadkill when she becomes the love interest of the cop investigating this brutal nonsense. There's enough cash & talent to float this Universal sequel's backlot boat but the competence of everyone involved makes for scant entertainment. THE CAR 2: ROAD TO REVENGE only comes to life during one clever homage to the cultish original featuring Ronnie Cox as a different character than who he played in THE CAR. It's a nice touch that'll earn an extra star from this badly aging geek but unless you were alive 40 years ago you probably won't get the significance of the scene with the mechanic or his unique car parts. Tolerable, mostly and vaguely disappointing. The studio data-dumped this discount-bin worthy disc with the sole bonus feature of being able to turn the subtitles off. Collectors will be disgusted!
- DirectorJames GlickenhausStarsJackie ChanDanny AielloSandy AlexanderTwo New York City cops, Billy Wong and Danny Garoni, head to Hong Kong after the daughter of a rich businessman is kidnapped by the drug lord, Mr. Ko.Fresh off his critically panned grindhouse revenge thriller EXTERMINATOR II writer/director James Glickenhaus helmed this rather important film for Chinese studio Golden Harvest who invested millions in a slate of movies hoping to break into the American market. THE PROTECTOR was intended to be Jackie RUSH HOUR 4 Chan's 2nd US film after 1980's unpopular BATTLE CREEK BRAWL. He establishing himself as an action movie superstar in Hong Kong but was largely unknown in North America.. It may be Glickenhaus' best film but it's still not very good and Chan was so disgusted by his inability to capture the artistry of his performance he tried to quit but was contractually obligated to finish the shoot. The failure of the film delayed the Oscar winner's rise to stardom in North America untill the release of SUPERCOP. Chan plays an honest cop named Billy Wong battling police corruption and a powerful drug lord (Roy BLOODSPORT Chiao) aided by his new partner on the force (Danny THE LAST DON II Aiello). The pair travel to China and battle heavily armed goons to avenge the murder of a fellow cop. For it's Hong Kong release Chan extensively re-edited THE PROTECTOR and filmed additional sequences to highlight his skill as a matial artist and also developed a sub plot featuring a strong female character (Sally THE KILLER Yeh). The new material was prepared with the help of writer King Sang Tang who wrote the 1980 Chan hit THE YOUNG MASTER. The less sexist, less gratuitously bloody version rates an additional star and is worth a look for fans IF they can find a copy. Portions of THE PROTECTOR were recycled and cut into 1990's CHU DAO GUI JING (aka: MASTERS OF DISASTER).
- DirectorKirk WongJackie ChanStarsJackie ChanKent ChengChristine NgA Special Agent is assigned to protect a wealthy business magnate. However, when the businessman is kidnapped in a daring ambush, he teams up with a seasoned detective to crack the case. But soon he discovers the case isn't that simple.NEW POLICE STORY (aka: CRIME STORY) may or may not be part of the official POLICE STORY franchise. It was made prior to JACKIE CHAN'S FIRST STRIKE (aka: POLICE STORY 4) and is not to be confused with 2004's NEW POLICE STORY which was considered a formal reboot also starring Chan. Chan plays a cop suffering from PTSD who's assigned to investigate the kidnapping of a disreputable businessman (Kar-Ying FROM BEIJING WITH LOVE Law) which was informally based on the real-life kidnapping of Teddy Wang in 1990. His whereabouts remain unknown to this day and no kidnappers were ever apprehended. The mastermind behind the sensational crime is a cop on the force (Kent IP MAN 4: THE FINALE Cheng) working with Chan to crack the case while undermining his determined partners' progress every step of the way. Chan & Cheng were both nominated for Best Actor at the 1994 Annual Hong Kong Film Awards for their exceptional work. The director (Kirk TAKING MANHATTAN Wang) also received a nomination as did the film itself for Best Picture surprisingly. CRIME STORY is good, but I didn't think it was that good. This is a much darker film than certainly I'm used to seeing from the beloved actor and frequently gratuitously violent. The only strong female character (a psychiatrist on the force) seems to have been left on the cutting room floor for overseas distribution and her absence in noticeable. Also, Chan appears to have inserted a few familiar slapstick action sequence which I thought were beautifully orchestrated but I also felt they went against the dramatic grain of the film. I'm betting if I'd watched the original cut I'd have rated this 7/10 but you work with what you've got and this dubbed edition rates a 6.
- DirectorJackie ChanChi-Hwa ChenStarsJackie ChanMaggie CheungBrigitte LinA virtuous Hong Kong Police Officer must clear his good name when the drug lord he is after frames him for the murder of a dirty cop.For the sheer physicality of Jackie Chan's performance POLICE STORY demands to be seen. Althought Chan was a major star in China he'd yet to make his mark in North America. His 1985 star vehicle THE PROTECTOR failed to find an audience and the reason was the action sequences weren't exciting. Chan wrote, directed & produced POLICE STORY through his newly formed Golden Way films with an eye to capturing his martial artistry & show casing his fluency with stuntwork. The always charismatic Oscar recipiant has plenty of opportunity to shine during those brillintly written scenes played entirely for laughs. In this smash hit 1st installment of the classic franchise Chan plays a cop who almost single-handedly apprehends a dangerous gangster (Chor HEAVENLY SWORD AND DRAGON SABRE 2 Yuen) fleeing the city on a hijacked bus. The criminal orchestrates framing Chan for the murder of another cop on the force to try to scuttle the case agaist the mob. Brigette SWORDSMAN II Lin and Maggie SUPERCOP Cheung play the women tangled in the charming cops personal affairs and outrageous attempts to bring a mob boss to justice. Followed by 7 sequels, a spin off. and more rip offs than I could count.
- DirectorJackie ChanStarsJackie ChanMaggie CheungKwok-Hung LamThe Hong Kong supercop must stop a group of blackmailing bombers, while the villains of Police Story (1985) are out for revenge.Legendary martial artist Jackie Chan delivers another smash-hit, action movie extravaganza in the rock-solid POLICE STORY franchise. He is a consumate performer capable of stuntwork that would make the Flying Wellendas blush. He sings, charms the pants off the ladies (the adorable May played by Maggie TWIN DRAGONS Cheung) & always finds the time to make us smile while battling the bad guys in fight sequences that will take your breath away. The main villain in POLICE STORY 2 was played by Chor THE SEVENTH CURSE Yuen who terrorizes the delightfully dysfunctional couple after being sprung from prison. The vengeful mobsters' henchman (porn star Charlie SNAKE MONSTER Cho) kidnaps May forcing Chan to participate in a terrorist bombing with 20 million in extortion money and countless lives at stake! The violence may seem non-stop but it's designed to dazzle not sicken. I only had a problem watchin the blooper reel over the end credits where actors & stuntmen suffer mishaps during filming. The original Hong Kong release is almost a half hour longer than the dubbed international cut and is the preferred version to watch given the opportunity. It's also refreshing to see the ladies in the cast given such strong characters to play. Followed by SUPERCOP.
- DirectorStanley TongStarsJackie ChanMichelle YeohMaggie CheungA Hong Kong detective teams up with his female Red Chinese counterpart to stop a Chinese drug czar.In addition to the cultish success of 1996's RUMBLE IN THE BRONX Hong Kong superstar Jackie DRUNKEN MASTER II Chan made major in-roads into the North American action movie market with POLICE STORY III (aka: SUPERCOP). Jackie Chan and co-star Michelle STAR TREK: DISCOVERY Yeoh are sensational together as cops who infiltrate a deadly narcotics empire to take down it's kingpin and his army of goons. The drug-lord (Kenneth RUSH HOUR 2 Tsang) & his right hand man; Panther (Yuen CLEOPATRA JONES AND THE CASINO OF GOLD Weh) leverage the super-cops into breaking an accomplice out of jail by kidnapping Agent Chan's girlfriend May (Maggie INGLOURIOUS BASTERDZ Cheung). The stunt fights & choreography are truly superlative and the cast is as bright as a bag of dimes. Action fans are going to love this! Stick around for the end credits to watch the hysterical blooper reel. Yeoh was so popular as Agent Yang she received her own spin off ONCE A COP (aka: SUPERCOP 2). Stanley MR. MAGOO Tang directed this breathlessly paced adventure based on a witty & wild screenplay by Edward MR. NICE GUY Tang. Followed by POLICE STORY 4: STRIKE FORCE.
- DirectorBerry GordyTony RichardsonJack WormserStarsDiana RossBilly Dee WilliamsAnthony PerkinsTracy, an aspiring designer from the slums of Chicago puts herself through fashion school in the hopes of becoming one of the world's top designers. Her ambition leads her to Rome spurring a choice between the man she loves or her newfound success.Diana THE WIZ Ross and Billy Dee STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER Williams gave screen lovers like Barbra Streisand & Robert Redford or Ali MacGraw & Ryan O'Neil a run for their money as favorite super couple of the 70s. They have chemistry to burn having worked together before on producer Berry Gordy's Oscar winning; LADY SING THE BLUES and you can't take your eyes off either of them for a second in this trashy pot-boiler from screen writer John SPHINX Byrum. The original director (Tony THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA Richardson) was fired by the Motown legend who capably stepped into role. Ross plays an aspiring fashion designer in the ghettos of Chicago who falls head-over-heels for a gorgeous activist (Williams) who fights for families struggling to survive racism & unemployment within the community. Tracy must however follow her dreams and is swept into the world of high fashion when she's discovered by a jet-setting photographer played by PSYCHO himself Anthony Perkins. Perkins' character is a certified nut-case who goes coo-coo for cocoa puffs over the radiantly beautiful Ross & pushes her towards modeling. Tracy's dreams soon turn into a nightmare as the wealthy and powerful seek to exploit her talent and sexuality. Can she find her way back to the man she loves before it's too late? The multi-talented superstar designed some of the fabulous outfits worn during the runway sequences and earned an Oscar nomination for her chart-topping theme song 'Do You Know Where You're Going To?'. Look quick for Bruce OY VEY! MY SON IS GAY!! Vlanch in this slightly campy but smartly cast melodrama which also features Jean-Pierre WINDMILLS OF THE GODS Aumont and Nina ALIEN NATION: DARK HORIZON Foch in meaty supporting roles.
- DirectorSam NewfieldStarsGeorge ZuccoWanda McKayNoel MadisonA group of strangers are brought together in an old, dark house and must contend with two murders and $50,000 in stolen money.Poverty row studio The Producers Releasing Corporation filmed this formulaic remake of the 1936 murder mystery THE ROGUE'S TAVERN. George THE HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN Zucco plays the sinister proprietor of a spooky hotel which welcomes an unexpected host of characters one dark and stormy night. Frequent Monogram Pictures starlet Wanda JUNGLE GODDESS McKay and Robert Livingston play an eloped couple hiding out from the storm & her outraged father. Livingston may be best remembered for playing Stony Brooke in 29 of the 51 'The Three Mesquiteers' westerns made by republic Studios between 1936 & 1943. A man from the inn-keeper's past is there to settle a score and is the sudden appearance of a bank robber mere coincidence? Charles FLASH GORDON CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE Middleton is fun as the comic-relief detective snooping for the most obvious clues left by supporting castmates Glenn ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN Strange & Robert BLONDIE BRINGING UP BABY Middlemass. Fred THE MAD MONSTER Myton prepped the script for prolific director Sam WHITE PONGO Newfield. B&W
- DirectorEdgar G. UlmerStarsJohn CarradineJean ParkerNils AstherIn Paris, an artist hires portrait models, and after he finishes their portraits, he strangles them.John THE SENTINEL Carradine is wonderfully depraved as an artist named Morrell who murders his models in fits of delusional rage after a bad experience with a prostitute. Jean MINESWEEPER Parker catches the serial killer's attention when she offers to design costumes for his puppets. Gay actor Nils NIGHT MONSTER Asther played the noire-ish detective alerted to Morrell's crimes when the face in one of the artist's paintings is recognized as being one of BLUEBEARD's recent victims. Ludwig THE CLIMAX Stossel steals a few scenes as the unscrupulous art dealer who's willing to permit the stranglings to continue indefinitely so long as the demand for Morrells' paintings remain high. Poverty row studio The Producers Releasing Corporation filmed this minor classic based on the 1697 story Barbe Bleue by French writer Charles Perrault. Pierre THE MONSTER MAKER Gendron & Arnold THE BRIGHTON STRANGLER Lipp adapting the screenplay for director Edgar THE AMAZING TRANSPARENT MAN Ulmer. An unexpected feather in the cap for all concerned especially Carradine who considers his performance in BLUEBEARD among his best. B&W
- DirectorWilliam NighStarsBela LugosiJoan BarclayGeorge PembrokeA cabal of American industrialists, all fifth-columnists intent on sabotaging the war effort, are methodically murdered by the malevolent Monsieur Colomb. It is only until detective Dick Martin is assigned to the case that everyone's true motives and identities are revealed.This would be the third of nine B movie features horror icon Bela DRACULA Lugosi made for poverty row studio Monogram & possibly their least interesting collaboration. Lugosi plays a treasonous plastic surgeon who replaces key Americans with transformed Japanese spies on the orders of The Dragon (I. Stanford THE VIOLENT YEARS Stanford). Clayton THE LONE RANGER Moore is on hand to save the day and win the heart of leading lady Joan SHADOW OF CHINATOWN Barclay. This was a rare foray for Lugosi outside of his comfort zone into the WWII propaganda genre. Writer Harvey THE CORPSE VANISHES Gates & director William DOOMED TO DIE Nigh tried to interject a few familiar 'old dark house' style thrills and elements of the fantastic into this lackluster mystery to no avail. The Black Dragon Society appeared in Monogram's 9th EAST SIDE KIDS caper; LET'S GET TOUGH earlier in the year. Lugosi himself starred in the 7th (SPOOKS RUN WILD) and 14th (GHOSTS ON THE LOOSE) films in the classic series. B&W
- DirectorMark PoloniaStarsSamantha CoolidgeRyan DaltonJames KellyA group of emotionally disturbed teenagers attend a remote retreat to work through their fears of the infamous "Camp Blood Killer". But could this local legend be all too real? And if so who will survive?Mark REVOLT ON THE EMPIRE OF THE APES Polonia wrote/directed this DOG about group of young people in therapy after enduring decades of killer clown attacks in the CAMP BLOOD vicinity. I'm often critical of slasher movies (especially FRIDAY THE 13TH as a franchise) but when you subject yourself to something as miserable as CHILDREN OF CAMP BLOOD you come away with a sense of just how much more production value & talent you get with studio backing. The rock bottom special effects & gore is either substandard or substandard AND recycled from earlier installments and the cast of unappealing unknowns is no help whatsoever. This is the 10th dismal entry in the unpopular backyard franchise (11th if you count the unauthorized 2005 sequel WITHIN THE WOODS). As depressing as it is boring and frequently at the same time.
- DirectorAlbert HermanStarsTex RitterKarl HackettWhite FlashIt's cattlemen versus sheepmen and Trigger Gargan appears to be the leader of the gang causing the trouble. But unknown to Ranger Tex Lawrence, the respected town citizen Barrow is the boss and is tipping off the gang as to the Ranger's activities.Poverty row studio Grand National Films opened shop in 1936 and survived just long enough to crank out this horse opera before closing it's doors the following year. Country western singer & western B-movie superstar Tex TENTING TONIGHT ON THE OLD CAMP GROUNDS Ritter and his faithful horse sidekick White Flash investigate land disputes between sheep herders & cattle ranchers. A wealthy land owner named Barrow (Karl SING, COWBOY, SING! Hackett) has been instigating the disruptions while simultaneously setting gang leader Trigger (Charles DEADWOOD DICK King) to take the fall. If all that rootin' and tootin' wasn't enough there's also the tangy, twangy musical stylings of The Beverly Hillbillies to sweeten the B&W pot! What you'd expect from screen writer Lindsley TROUBLE IN TEXAS Parsons and director Albert DELINQUENT DAUGHTERS Herman. Certainly, not for all tastes but genre addicts might have some fun with it.
- DirectorRay TaylorStarsTex RitterWhite FlashIris MeredithTex is up against a group of hooded outlaws. When he shoots one, he uses the hood to infiltrate the gang. Almost caught by them, he escapes only to be arrested by the Sheriff who thinks he's one of the gang.Singing cowboys were big back in the day before they invented color and Tex RAINBOW OVER THE RANGE Ritter was of the same magnitude a performer as Roy Rogers even if some of the material he had to work with was occasionally cringe-worthy. The songs Tex has to sing aren't exactly Top of the Pops this time out and the Range Ramblers howling like coyotes on stage at the saloon fare no better. This could have used a little more love and attention from the lowly Grand National Films and producer Lindsley ROLLIN' PLAINS Parsons. Tex finds himself coming to the rescue of a young lady (Iris THE SON OF DAVEY CROCKETT Meredith) who's being hounded by a gang of hooded bandits terrorizing the ranchers. Along with his loyal steed White Flash our hero infiltrates the marauders to the consternation of the local sheriff (Earl THE PURPLE VIGILANTES Dwire) who can't tell the good guys from the bad. A below average B-movie western from writer Edmond TEX RIDES WITH THE BOY SCOUTS Kelso & director Ray FLASH GORDON CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE Taylor. B&W.
- DirectorFrank HenenlotterStarsKevin VanHentenryckTerri Susan SmithBeverly BonnerA young man carrying a big basket that contains his extremely deformed, formerly conjoined twin brother seeks vengeance on the doctors who separated them against their will.FRANKENHOOKER director Frank Henenlotter shot this micro budget slasher pic on 16 mm film for about as much as it costs to buy a used car. It looks as bad as that sounds. It's a murky mess with no visual appeal whatsoever and yet there's no denying it's limited value as a novelty. Kevin BASKET CASE 2 Von Hentenryck plays Duane; a deranged formerly co-joined Siamese twin who moves to a NYC flophouse with his tumorous, mutant brother who lives in a basket. The freak intends to murder the doctors who separated them at birth leaving Belial for dead. The monster is an unconvincing hand-puppet which is also briefly animated via amateurish stop motion and still manages to upstage the living cast all of whom could have been replaced with sock puppets without missing a beat. When Duane becomes smitten with a pretty receptionist some puerile sexual dysfunction is thrown into the mix to keep viewers from nodding off. It's film-school quality work every predictable step of the way and nowhere near as good as you've heard. Back in the day it stood out from the the generic low budget slasher pics glutting the market and developed into a cult item. How does it compare with the true cult classics like CARNIVAL OF SOULS or THE HILLS HAVE EYES? Badly in my my opinion but I'm giving BASKET CASE an additional star for exceeding everyone's expectations. It's a feather in the cap for the niche Henenlotter who made 2 less ambitious sequels.
- DirectorFrank HenenlotterStarsKevin VanHentenryckJudy GrafeAnnie RossDuane and his basket-bound mutant brother are taken in by a secret home for wayward freaks with journalists hot on their tail.Frank BAD BIOLOGY Henenlotter is a lousy director but his screenplay for BASKET CASE 2 moves at a nice clip so you don`t have a lot of time to digest how stupid it is till the credits roll. Mostly you`ll be mildly amused by this belated sequel to the minor 1982 cult classic. Having somehow survived their fall from a hotel window, Duane (Kevin BASKET CASE 3: THE PROGINY Van Hentenryck) & his drastically deformed twin brother Belial are taken in by a kindly distant relative named Granny Ruth (Annie STRAIGHT ON TILL MORNING Ross) and her lovely grand-daughter; Susan (Heather AS THE WORLD TURNS Rattray). At the safe house the psychotic brothers are introduced to the cartoonish freaks who live there in peace apart from the rest of the world. Belial finds himself attracted to a shy, repulsive monster who (like him) lives inside a wicker basket while Susan seems to offer Duane the chance at a normal life but the villain of the piece (Ted FROM BEYOND Sorrel) has other ideas. This unobjectionable slasher pic was shot by Henenlotter back-to-back with the equally mediocre FRANKENHOOKER. It`s never once even remotely scary & is about as funny as an episode of THE MUNSTERS. It`s far too amateurish & juvenile to recommend. Look for James Franko`s brother Tom as `Frog Boy`. Gabriel MUNCHIE Bartalos & Dan METAMORPHOSIS: THE ALIEN FACTOR Frye helped design the unconvincing make-up effects.
- DirectorFrank HenenlotterStarsKevin VanHentenryckAnnie RossGil RoperDuane recovers from his delusional breakdown to find his freakish basket-bound brother Belial will soon become a father. But not everything is joyous as the once tight knit brothers no longer seem to trust each other.
- DirectorJohn EnglishStarsTex RitterSyd SaylorWhite FlashTex and sidekick Grass join McGill's traveling show. When Price has McGill's wagons burned, Tex becomes the county tax collector to earn money. This leads to trouble as one of those owing money is Price who says he will not pay.Tex Ritter rose to fame on the silver screen for his role of Tex Haines in a series of 16 B-movie westerns for the Producers Releasing Corporation but got his start making horse operas for rival poverty row studio Grand National Films. In his 3rd GNF appearance Tex and his trained stallion White Flash join a traveling show only to see the business attacked by an arsonist when they set up their wagons in Tombstone. Forrest THE MYSTERY OF THE HOODED HORSEMEN Taylor is the villain at large but our singing cowboy hero and his comic-relief sidekick Grass Hopper (Syd THE ADVENTURES OF RIN TIN TIN Salor) have to resort to unusual means to extoll some frontier justice. The Sheriff (Budd THE WHITE GORILLA Buster) gives them the opportunity when he hires them to collect $20, 000 in back taxes from the fire bug. Lindsley HEADIN' FOR THE RIO GRANDE Parsons and Sherman BLACKHAWK Lowe wrote this amiable oater for director John CAPTAIN AMERICA English. Look for future Frankenstein actor Glenn Strange as Henchman Pete. B&W
- DirectorJohn P. McCarthyStarsTex RitterTed AdamsWhite FlashTex is sent to investigate miners being killed and their mines confiscated. The culprit is Evans and after Tex joins the gang, he is sent to kill two more miners. When Estaban is killed, Tex is put on trial for all three murders.The singing cowboy genre found it's roots in the silent era, believe it or not but it wasn't until Gene Autry began crooning in Rupublic Studio hits like THE PHANTOM EMPIRE & THE SINGING COWBOY then rival studios began to glut the market with imitations. Fledgling poverty row studio Grand National Films hired Dorothy Page and Tex Ritter to star in their own musical B-movie westerns. Page's films flopped and she retired from acting after 1939s THE SINGING COWGIRL...the same year Grand National ceased production. Ritter (an Academy Award winning composer for HIGH NOON) made a living as a country musician IRL so was far more successful than Page at the box office. SONG OF THE GRINGO was the 1st of 9 adventures he made for GNF and it's one of his best. Tex and White Flash (a Champion knock off) puts down his guitar long enough to rescue a damsel (Joan BOSTON BLACKIE'S CHINESE VENTURE Woodbury) and infiltrate a den of murderous thieves. Ted BUCKAROO FROM POWDER RIVER Adams plays the desperado responsible for the death of several miners and the theft of their deeds but to prove it our hero must stand trial for murders he did not commit! John THE NEVADA BUCKAROO McCarthy wrote and directed this slightly charming serving of oats and cheese with an assist from Robert RAINBOWS OVER THE RANGE Emmett Tansey. Jose Pacheco and his Continental Orchestra hit enough right notes during the fiesta to have kept SONG OF THE GRINGO hoppin' along for nearly a century. B&W
- DirectorSheldon WilsonStarsDerek ThelerErica CerraPaul du ToitA shark exterminator must retrieve a rare diamond from the stomach of a massive black-finned white shark; however, the powerful local crime lord has, too, set his sights on the gem. Will the fearless shark killer live up to his reputation?The tagline on the poster insists 'Blood is thicker in water!' and if you think that's stupid you haven't seen anything yet! SHARK KILLER is the 27th installment in the Canadian Maneater franchise which began with 2007's GRIZZLY RAGE. The cheap tv movies were made for the SyFy network and routinely featured one or two nameable has-beens along with sloppy special effects to pad run-time between commercial breaks. A hot SHARK KILLER (Derek BABY DADDY Theler) is hired to retrieve a rare gem swallowed by a poorly rendered black finned shark. The practical fx fabrications and subpar CG never once comes close to being convincing. Paul TREMORS 6: A COLD DAY IN HELL du Toit plays a mob boss who wants the diamond the minute Chase cuts it from the monster's guts and instructs his girlfriend Jasmine to be there when it happens. Did I mention Chase was hot? Jasmine (Erica NANCY DREW Cerra) takes one look at SHARK KILLER-boy and her ankles are as good as in the air. The gangster sub plot gets even more time consuming when another crook want in on the badly directed 'action'. Richard PROM NIGHT IV: DELIVER US FROM EVIL Beattie provided the lazy, predictable script which co-author Sheldon SNOWMAGEDDON Wilson made twice as bad by directing. Lowly even by the subterranean standards of sharkploitation cinema.
- DirectorLen WisemanStarsKate BeckinsaleScott SpeedmanShane BrollySelene, a vampire warrior, is entrenched in a conflict between vampires and werewolves, while falling in love with Michael, a human who is sought by werewolves for unknown reasons.Kate TOTAL RECALL Beckinsale plays a leather-clad werewolf assassin living the life of high tech luxury in a gothic mansion with the rest of her vampire coven. While on the hunt Selene encounters a mortal; Michael (Scott ANIMAL KINGDOM Speedman) the lycans need for their experiments into breeding a hybrid species. All this intrigue began over an eon ago when the lycans were kept as slaves to guard over their masters from dawn till dusk. Lucian (Michael THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Sheen); a slave, fell in love with a vampire who became pregnant & was ordered burnt at the stake to keep the bloodline pure. Lucian leads a revolt against the elder who murdered his vampire bride to be and unborn hybrid baby. To win the war and to have his revenge against Viktor (Bill I, FRANKENSTEIN Nighy) Lecian must obtain the mortal. Problem is Selene has grown fond of her human love interest in violation of the law of her coven. Kraven (Shane UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION Brolly) as acting CEO of the blood-thirsty clan demands she be executed for breaking covenant. There's a lot going on with everyone playing it with a straight face. Danny UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS McBride provided the screenplay based on a script outline courtesy of director Len LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD Wisemand and UNDERWORLD co-star Kevin Grievioux. Wiseman focuses on the action rather than the horror elements and succeeded beyond my expectations thanks to gorgeous production design across the boards and powerful visual FX. This breathlessly paced adventure has style to burn & was followed by 4 sequels and a pending netfix TV show. Fans of bonus features will be thrilled with the hours of extras included on the disc including audio commentaries and 4 'making of...' featurettes.
- DirectorLen WisemanStarsKate BeckinsaleScott SpeedmanBill NighyPicking up directly from the previous movie, vampire warrior Selene and the half werewolf Michael hunt for clues to reveal the history of their races and the war between them.UNDERWORLD: EVOLUTION is a rip-roaring supernatural/action pic that'll get your adrenaline pumping regardless of the contrivances in the script which was prepped by returning writer Danny McBride & director Les TOTAL RECALL Wiseman. Selene (Kate VAN HELSING Beckinsale) and Michael (Scott XXX 2: THE NEXT LEVEL Speedman) are still fugitives searching for the origin of their respective species. The answer lies with the eldest of the vampires: Corvinus (David MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS Jacobi). Corvinus had 3 sons. The twins were transformed into a vampire and a werewolf when William (Brian LOST IN SPACE Steele) was infected by the bite of a wolf and Marcus a bat. An unbitten 3rd sibling remained mortal but passed down his hybrid dna to his descendant Michael. The 1st Lycan William was deemed too powerful & unstable and imprisoned by the elder Viktor (Bill I, FRANKENSTEIN Nighy) while Marcus entered his sarcophagus to bide his time. To keep the location of Williams' tomb secret it's architect (Selene's father) was murdered but his child still carries within her blood a trace of the memory. Marcus (Tony THE MIDNIGHT MEAT TRAIN Curran) knows this thanks to the traitorous Lucian (Michael THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 Sheen) and vows to taste Selene's blood to learn William's hiding place. The key to the prison is an amulet worn by Selene's hybrid lover and it's up to our heroes to reach the chamber before the twins can be reunited to spawn a conquering master race. Whew! There's a whole lot of palace intrigue for what is essentially a monster movie. The lycan transformations are strikingly effective for CG. CG werewolves have been breaking my heart since AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN PARIS but they work perfectly in the context of the UNDERWOLD franchise where there's no time to dawdle. I had fun with it. Followed by the 2009 prequel UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS.
- DirectorPatrick TatopoulosStarsRhona MitraMichael SheenBill NighyA prequel centered on the origins of the centuries-old feud between the race of aristocratic vampires and their former slaves, the Lycans.Patrick Tatopoulos is a highly regarded production designer known to geeks for everything from LAWNMOWER MAN 2: JOBE'S WAR to BATTLEFIELD EARTH but he's no director. Danny UNDERWORLD McBride, Howard SHADOW OF A SCREAM McCain & Dick BLACK MASKS 2: CITY OF MASKS Blackman wrote this prequel to the popular franchise set in The Dark Ages. In a perfect bit of casting Rhoma DOOMSDAY Mitra plays the disloyal vampire Sonja whose tempestuous affair with a Lycan slave (Michael THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON Sheen) marks both for treason when it's discovered they're expecting. Bill HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS PART ONE Nighy chews the gothic scenery as the eternally irate vampire king but neither vampire nor werewolf has much to sink their teeth into. There's too much political drama where not enough action sequences should be. The exciting finale between the werewolf army and the nosferatu generates more suspense than you'd think for those familiar with the franchise narrative. As foregone conclusions go this one's not bad. A satisfying end to a mildly disappointing fantasy.
- DirectorMåns MårlindBjörn SteinStarsKate BeckinsaleMichael EalyIndia EisleyWhen human forces discover the existence of the Vampire and Lycan clans, a war to eradicate both species commences. The vampire warrior Selene leads the battle against humankind.Kate VACANCY 2: THE FIRST CUT Beckinsale returns for the fourth film in the popular UNDERWORLD franchise as did her husband Len Wiseman who worked on the screenplay. Her former husband Michael Sheen, her former on-screen lover Scott Speedman & charactor actor Bill Nighy sat this installment out and are sorely missed; especially Nighy who knew how to chew the scenery in the best possible way. UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING opens with the capture of Selene & Michael by the military who have declared all-out war on the vampire and lycan population discovered living in their midst. Because of their unique supernatural abilities the couple are cryogenically frozen and kept for study by a secretive branch of the military called Antigen. When Selene is finally freed she's horrified to discover 12 years have passed during which the human populace have hunted their species to the brink of extinction and her escape was made possible by a hybrid child she gave birth to while a prisoner. India MY SWEET AUDRINA Eisley (who was almost 20 years old at the time) capably carries the role of Subect 2 (or Eve in the credits scroll) who is crutial to the agency because it's leader Dr. Lane (Stephen THE COMPANY OF WOLVES Rea) is himself a werewolf! The lycans infiltrated their enemies military and have been using Eve's genetic material to create an uber species of lycan with Lane's son as the 1st test subject. Guided by visions due to their shared blood mother and daughter are reunited and seek sanctuary with a coven of nosferatu led by Thomas (Charles DRACULA UNTOLD Dance) and his son David (Theo THE WAR OF THE WORLDS: THE MUSICAL DRAMA James). The heroes unite to retrieve Michael who's still on ice at the heavily fortified facility and recruit a mortal detective (Michael 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS Ealy) who lost his wife (a vampie) during the genocidal purge to get inside. But to do so Selene's going to have to fight Lane's son Quint (Kris NIGHT OF THE DEMONS III Holden-Ried) who heals instantly, is immune to silver and is about the size of a tank! A pair of Swedish directors I've never heard of (Mans SHED NO TEARS Marlind, Bjorn SHELTER Stein) made UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING using state of the art 3D technology and top-of-line cg animations to tremendous effect. On the downside, Rea delivers one of the blandest performances of his career leaving the film without a well-drawn antagonist and the finished screenplay was wildly inconsistant from scene to scene. Len LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD Wiseman, J. Michael MURDER SHE WROTE:A STORY TO DIE FOR Straczynski, John BLOOD DRIVE Hlavin & Allison BLOODFIST III: FORCED TO FIGHT Burnett were but a few of the scribes who scrambled to keep up with script changes throughout UNDERWORLD: AWAKENING's troubled production history. Screen Gems opted not to screen their brutally violent pic for critics which is never a good sign but it was an improvement over UNDERWORLD: RISE OF THE LYCANS in my opinion and served as a perfect launch point for both UNDERWORLD: BLOOD WARS and an announced netflix series.
- DirectorAnna FoersterStarsKate BeckinsaleTheo JamesTobias MenziesVampire death dealer Selene (Kate Beckinsale) fights to end the eternal war between the Lycan clan and the Vampire faction that betrayed her.
- DirectorRay TaylorStarsTex RitterForrest TaylorWhite FlashTex is after the gang that robbed a train of a gold shipment. He suspects Dorman is the culprit and is hiding their gold at his mine. When Stubby sees Dorman's henchman Stark cash in some gold nuggets, Tex tricks Dorman into moving the gold. He hopes to round them up with the help of the posse and the local Boy Scout Troop.Tex GANGSTERS OF THE FRONTIER Ritter plays an undercover G-Man investigating an attack on a boy scout and the theft of a shipment of gold. With the aid of White Flash (his horse) and frequent co-star Horace SONG OF THE BUCKAROO Murphy. Tex tracks the robbers (SUPERMAN actors Forrest Taylor & Charles King) but to bring the gang to justice he must enlist the services of the Los Angeles District's 13th Troup of the Boy Scouts of America. Marjorie MR. WONG IN CHINATOWN Reynolds is the all-American cowgirl for whom Tex would like to croon. The Beverly Hillbillies provide just the right orchestral assist he'll need in this forgettable horse opera from director Ray SCOUTS TO THE RESCUE Taylor and writers Edmond REVENGE OF THE ZOMBIES Kelso & Lindsley FRONTIER TOWN Parsons. This Grand National Films presentation was one of a string to feature the country western singer and head of the Ritter acting family dynasty which also includes son John (THREE'S COMPANY) and grandsons Jason (FREDDY VS JASON) & Tyler (ARROW). B&W
- DirectorPenelope BuitenhuisStarsMiguel FerrerLaura MennellBrendan PennyA group of family and friends on a camping trip through the Texas badlands are taken on a one-way ride to Hell after they inadvertently witness a ritual sacrifice at a deserted campsite. Pursued by the devil worshiping biker gang responsible, they hole up in an abandoned church near the border, only to discover that they are pawns in a decades-old battle between good and evil.A group of young (mostly Canadian) actors (Laura BATWOMAN Mennell, Brendan MAGICAL CHRISTMAS ORNAMENTS Penny, Katherine HANNIBAL Isabelle, Brent STONEHENGE APOCALYPSE Stait, etc) witness a group of bikers perform human sacrifice and must fight for their lives when the motor cycle riding satanists decide to impregnate one of the campers with the child of the anti-christ to extend their supernatural lives. Miguel BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUAS 3: VIVA LAS VEGAS Ferrer doesn't even bother to try selling this mash-up of 70s horror pics like WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS, PHYCHOMANIA or RACE WITH THE DEVIL which was produced for the SyFy network. Penelope DEATH OF A SHOWGIRL Buitenhuis (who also contributed to the teleplay treats the violence, gore and brief nudity with kid gloves and misses the opportunity to create an interesting exploitation pic. Mostly, this one's dull. Matthew Chernov & David Rosiak who collaborated on SHARK SWARM put a lot of effort into swiping ideas from ROSEMARY'S BABY and FROM DUSK TILL DAWN but forgot to make any of it scary.
- DirectorMick GarrisStarsBrian KrauseMädchen AmickAlice KrigeA mother-and-son team of strange supernatural creatures move to a small town to seek out a young virgin to feed on.Brian CHARMED Krause & Alice DYNASTY: THE MAKING OF A GUILTY PLEASURE Krige starred in this slickly produced but poorly considered nonsense from best-selling author Stephen King and Mick Garris who distinguished himself by directing hits like CRITTERS 2: THE MAIN COURSE and PSYCHO IV: THE BEGINNING. Garris is a competent director capable of solid work but he needs a dependable script and that's where SLEEPWALKERS dropped the ball.The attractive actors are cast as an incestuos pair of ancient feline demons who travel from town to town draining the life-force from virginal high school girls. Charles Brady (Krause) murders his smitten classmates then tranfers that energy to his mom by having her hop on his boomstick. Madchen TWIN PEAKS Amick is the lovely high school crush who catches on too quick that her new boyfriend's really a telepathic shape-shifter & is super-duper marked for death. The Brady's are also capable of invisibilty just like their shapeshifting car. Tanya's only salvation may come in the form of a housecat named Clovis. Seems ancient soul-sucking demons are allergic.The special effects department are the real stars of the show and feature some effective pratical make-up designs and early CG. They're also resposible for one of the lamest horror movie kills of all time when a super-human Mrs Brady stabs a man to death with corn on the cob. I'm knocking a star off this mildly entertaining trash for being that corny. Garris' rat pack of friends in the biz made cameos in this nicely cast money-maker including John Landis, Joe Dante, Tobe Hooper, Clive Barker and the man himelf; Stephen King who mugs his way through another lame sequence that belonged on the cutting room floor. Look for Lyman Ward and Cindy Pickett as Tanya's parents. Older viewers may remember them as having played Farris Beuller's folks on his day off. Ron Pearlman shows up as a nicer sheriff than he'd get to play in the King/Garris mini-series DESPERATION. Surprisingly palitable for something so preposterous.
- StarsPierce BrosnanMelissa GeorgeAnnabeth GishAfter his wife's sudden death, a bestselling author returns to his cabin retreat, where he receives paranormal visitations and becomes involved in a custody battle.Minor horror movie icon Mick Garris may be best known for a handful of Stephen King adaptations including THE SHINING and THE STAND. This A&E mini-series isn't nearly as good and it's hard to fault the screenwriter (Matt FRIGHT NIGHT 2 Venne) as the popular novel King cranked out rarely rises above the ordinary and Garris plays it very safe by closely copying whenever possible from better movies. Keep your expectation low and you may find this tale of revenge from beyond the grave to your liking. A slightly miscast Pierce DIE ANOTHER DAY Brosnan plays a grieving novelist tormented by alcoholism & ghostly manifestations while mourning the death of his wife and unborn child. The hallucinations, nightmares and portents he's experiencing at Dark Song Lake (Halifax, N.S. IRL) are tied to the disappearance of a black singer (Anika DREAMGIRLS Noni Rose) and her child back in the 1930s. A similar fate may lay in store for a too-young widow who's caught the writer's eye if her sinister father-in-law has his way. William THE MAN FROM PLANET X Schellert plays the despotic Max Devore who wants his son's wife (Melissa THE AMITYVILLE HORROR George) and child dead but to unravel the predictable mystery the writer's going to need supernatural assistance from his late wife (Annabeth THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE Gish). The ending reminded me of GHOST STORY, THE OMEN and especially the William Friedkin flop THE GUARDIAN. Garris & King are capable of better although I didn't hate BAG OF BONES and probably neither will you.
- DirectorSidney LumetStarsAlbert FinneyLauren BacallIngrid BergmanIn December 1935, when his transcontinental luxury train is stranded by deep snow, detective Hercule Poirot is called on to solve a murder that occurred in his car the night before, with a multitude of suspects.Albert WOLFEN Finney earned an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor for his portrayal of the fussy, Belgian detective Hercule Poirot created by Agatha Christie in this classic adaption of her 1934 novel. Collectively, the talent assembled for this sumptuously produced mystery raked in over 50 nominations with more than 15 wins! Just look at this amazing all-star cast and ask yourself why you're not watching MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS right now; Sean ZARDOZ Connery, Jaqueline THE DEEP Bisset, Ingrid GASLIGHT Bergman, Martin Balsam & Anthony Perkins (both from PSYCHO), John THE WICKED LADY Guilgud, Lauren THE FAN Bacall, Michael THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU York, Vanessa AGATHA Redgrave & Richard THE SWARM Widmark as 'The Victim'. While travelling aboard the luxurious train a man named Ratchet is discovered murdered. Heavy snow strands the locomotive allowing the iconic sleuth to put his astonishing little grey cells into analytical action at warp-speed. Everyone is in top form and dressed to the nines for this Oscar winning hit (Best Supporting Actress: Bergman). From writer Paul ESCAPE FROM THE PLANET OF THE APES Dehn & director Sidney DEATHTRAP Lumet. The movie took home additional Academy Award nominations for Best Cinematography, Best Screenplay, Best Costume Design & Best Score for that magnificent soundtrack. Remade in 2001 for CBS, again in 2010 for the ITV series AGATHA CHRISTIE'S POIROT, and was adapted for a 2 part 2015 Japanese mini-series (ORIENT KYUUKOU SATSUJIN JIKEN) before making a triumphant return to the silver screen with Kenneth Branagh's brilliant 2017 re-imagining. Followed by 1978's DEATH ON THE NILE.
- DirectorKenneth BranaghStarsKenneth BranaghPenélope CruzWillem DafoeWhen a murder occurs on the train on which he's travelling, celebrated detective Hercule Poirot is recruited to solve the case.Kenneth THOR Branagh directed this lavishly appointed mystery based on the classic 1934 novel by Agatha Christie & a screenplay by Michael BLADE RUNNER 2049 Green. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS was famously made in 1978 with Albert Finney cast as the fastidious sleuth and while this bold re-invention is arguably as good or better there's no doubt in my mind that Branagh delivers the definitive performance as the beloved Belgian detective on film surpassing even the magnificent Peter Ustanov who I loved best. Branagh's interpretation of Hercule Poirot is sharper, more pungent and occasionally savage in addition to allowing him to be refreshingly dashing and quite debonair. Exploring the character so thoroughly allows for so more adventure and sensuality than you'd expect if you were weened on the frugally written British novels or grew up watching the long-running ITV series with David Suchet as the lead. This Poirot has experienced loss. You can see it in his eyes. The elegantly nuanced performance the director brings to the table as an actor pays off during the expertly staged revelation of the killer's identity when the little grey cells aren't enough to see justice prevail. This beautifully cast film features Johnny A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET Depp as a gangster who believes someone aboard the transcontinental locomotive wants to kill him over the kidnapping of a child which ended in tragedy years before. The kidnapping was loosely based on the real life Lindburg abduction that made headlines during the great depression. The scoundrel is murdered when the Orient Express becomes perilously stranded by an avalanche and Poirot assembles the diverse group of passengers all of whom have something to hide. The wonderful Michelle BATMAN RETURNS Pfeiffer, Willem THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU Dafoe, Penelope PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: ON DANGEROUS TIDES Cruz, Judi CATS Dench and David DEAD AGAIN Jacobi keep the red herrings and guesses in the air until the thrilling denouement which is a whole lot of fun to watch even if you remember how it unfolds. Loved the whole gorgeous package; costumes, cinematography, art direction, score, special effects etc. MURDER ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS is premium film-making. Followed by 2022's DEATH ON THE NILE.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsSid HaigKaren BlackBill MoseleyTwo young couples traveling across the backwoods of Texas searching for urban legends of murder end up as prisoners of a bizarre and sadistic backwater family of serial killers.One man's trash is another man's treasure and the adage rings true for those few among us who seriously consider HOUSE OF A 1000 CORPSES a contender for best horror movie of the new millennium. That's a bold assertion considering this instant cult classic sat on the shelf for 3 years and has since been denounced by it's own writer/director. Despite all that & a ridiculously low rating on that rotten eggs review site nobody needs I stand by my claim. Rob Zombie (who I only knew periforally on the pop culture landscape for his heavy metal music as lead singer for White Zombie) kicks ass in his feature film debut about a group of friends who become stranded in an old dark house while searching the back roads of Deadwood for the final resting place of notoious serial killer Dr. Satan. The friends (Chris EXTREMELY LOUD AND CLOSE Hardwick, Jennifer VAMPIRE ON BIKINI BEACH Jostyn, Rainn THE MEG Wilson & Erika THE 'L' WORD Daniels) learn about the murderer while stopping for gas at Captain Spaulding's sideshow. The demented clown (Sid HATCHET III Haig) informs the group that the evil scientist performed sadistic experiments on the brains of mental patients incarcerated at the Weeping Willows asylum in the hope of creating a super-human, blood-thirsty army. What Spaulding neglected to mention is that the Firefly family who live along the way are Dr. Satan's crowning achievement and that they routingly rape, mutilate and murder anyone who comes within swinging distance of an axe. The late, great Karen COME BACK TO THE FIVE AND DIME, JIMMY DEAN, JIMMY DEAN Black plays the over-sexed matriarch of the depraved Firefly family whose members include Baby (Sheri TOOLBOX MURDERS Moon Zombie), Tiny (Matthew BIG FISH McGrory), Otis (Bill SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 3: BETTER WATCH OUT! Mosley), Hugo (Dennis SMOKEY & THE GOOD TIME BANDITS Fimple) & Rufus (Robert BLACK MASK 2: CITY OF MASKS Mukes) all of whom are as savage as the cannibal hillbillies you'll find in drive-in classics like THE HILLS HAVE EYES or THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. 'Showtime' begins on October 30th circa 1977 but can a pair of law men (Tom HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER Towles, Walter THE HATEFUL 8 Goggins) make it to the Firefly ranch in time to prevent a satanic massacre on Halloween night? 15 minutes of gore and back story had to be trimmed so that HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES could finally be released with an 'R' rating. What practical gore effects remain are gruesome and shockingly intense to sit through. Zombie crafted this loving, brilliant homage to the best of horror cinema with skill that rivals the very people who inspired him including legendary directors James Whale, Stanley Kubrick, Wes Craven & Tobe Hooper to name a few. Zombie lent his sophisticated musical talent to the disturbing mix so expect the evocative soundtrack to work it's way under your skin while Zombie's ferocious film unfolds at a delirious pace. Liked this so much I may give the audio commentary, interviews and 'making of...' featurettes a look. Plenty of coming attraction trailers, too! This unsung masterpiece of pulp horror cinema was followed by 2005's THE DEVIL'S REJECTS and 2019's THREE FROM HELL.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsSid HaigSheri Moon ZombieBill MoseleyThe murderous, backwoods Firefly family take to the road to escape the vengeful Sheriff Wydell, who is not afraid of being as ruthless as his target.After the brutal exectution of Sheriff Wydell (Tom HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER Towles) & the discovery of a missing girl's raped & mutilated corpse the new sheriff (William SMOKEY BITES THE DUST Forsythe) decends on the Firefly ranch like the wrath of God determined to wipe the infamous killers off the face of the earth. Leslie LAVERNE & SHIRLEY Esterbrook takes over the part of Mother Firefly and somehow makes us forget the unforgettable Karen Black who declined to return when her salary demands could not be met. She is taken alive by the sheriff while the surviving members of her death-dealing hillbilly clan make a desperate run for freedom. Wydell, who believes himself to be a devil-killer pursues the trio of maniacs (Sheri HALLOWEEN II Moon Zombie as Baby, Bill THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE PART 2 Mosley as Otis & Sid NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3D Haig as Captain Spaulding) to a bordello run by a relative (Ken LEATHERFACE: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE III Foree) in a nearby town. Two hired killers (Danny MACHETE KILLS! Trejo & wrestler Dallas Page) join the hunt when an innocent family (Geoffrey TRILOGY OF TERROR II Lewis, Piscilla ED GEIN: THE BUTCHER OF PLAINSFIELD Barnes, Kate BIG LOVE Norby & Lew ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD Temple) is taken hostage. Rob THE LORDS OF SALEM Zombie's savage oddessy is a balls-to-the-wall nightmare of depravity and cold-blooded murder and arguably no better or worse than the instant cult hit HOUSE OF A THOUSAND CORPSES it succeeds. Zombie's musical instincts are razor sharp. The selections he's made for THE DEVIL'S REJECTS soundtrack are uniformly excellent and enhance the action unfolding to perfection. Zombie also loaded the cast with enough genre favorites (P.J. MIL MASCARAS VS THE AZTEC MUMMY Soles, Elizabeth PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE Daily, Mary SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT PART 3 Warnov, Michael THE HILLS HAVE EYES Berryman, etc) to leave horror fans triggering for days! The CG elements lend some polish to the practical gore FX which I promise are gruesome and fill the screen throughout. This would be the final film for gigantic actor Matthew McGrory who played the disfigured 'Tiny' Firefly. Highly recommended but not for the faint of heart! Followed by 2019's 3 FROM HELL.
- DirectorRob ZombieStarsSheri Moon ZombieBill MoseleySid HaigAfter barely surviving prison, the demented Firefly clan go on the run, unleashing a whole new wave of murder, madness and mayhem.Baby (Sheri THE LORDS OF SALEM Moon Zombie), Otis (Bill SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 3: BETTER WATCH OUT! Mosley) and Captain Spalding (Sid JACKIE BROWN Haig) reunited for this unexpected third film in the Firefly saga which began with the 2005 cult classic HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES and seemed to come to a screeching halt as they appeared to have died in a hail of bullets at the end of it's sequel THE DEVIL'S REJECTS. Sadly, the ailing Haig was unable to participate beyond a too-brief introductory scene establishing his character's death via lethal injection after serving a decade on death row. The iconic actor drowned in his own vomit just days after 3 FROM HELL's blink-&-you-missed-it theatrical release. Otis & Baby's half brother Foxy Coltrane (Richard DOOM Blake) is introduced as a substitution for Spalding. I warmed up to his performance towards the end when 3 FROM HELL segwayed away from grindhouse horror towards something not unlike Robert Rodriguez's recent work. Foxy jailbreaks Otis leading to the death of Rondo (Danny HALLOWEEN Trejo) who was also serving time at the prison where Baby is housed. Trejo played a hitman hired to kill the Firefly family a decade ago. His murder triggers a vendetta called for against the Manson like cult by a powerful crime lord named Aquarious (Emilio MAYANS, M.C. Rivera). Otis & Foxy take hostages at the warden's (Jeff PSYCHOPATHS Daniel Phillips) home promising a massacre unless Baby is allowed to escape. With his girlfriend's (Tracy THE BLOODY INDULGENT REGURGITATED Leigh) life hanging by a thread he permits the frenzied serial killer free whereupon the trio make a break for the Mexican boarder. A gang of Aquarious' heavily armed luchador assassins lie in wait for them on the Day of the Dead. Rob 31 Zombie is one of my favorite artist's active in the horror genre and his best material approximates what you'd expect from David Lynch, Sam Raimi or David Cronenberg to name a few. Zombie's sequel isn't as great as the earlier installments but it's peppered with occasionally brilliant moments. His wife (a scene stealer) chases a naked woman down a brightly lit suburban street brandishing a butcher knife channeling Leatherface and every second of it works including a gag to punctuate the sequence. That scene alone is on par with anything in Tobe Hooper's THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and it's all the more impressive as it was filmed in broad daylight! Unfortunately, there aren't enough moments like that to make 3 FROM HELL truly special. A strong sountrack and a fan's favorite ensemble of genre darling actors help but it's still a mixed bag. Loved Dee THE HOWLING Wallace in her meaty supporting role as a prison guard clearly inspired by ILSA: WICKED WARDEN OF THE S.S. while Clint SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INITIATION Howard's appearance as a clown probably shouldn't have made it to the final cut despite the interesting manner it plays out. With a global economic war raging around us film-makers are being asked to make movies today for less cash than they cost 20 years ago. My hat goes off to Zombie for even trying! The special CG effects looked cheap & suffered by comparison to the practical make up gore. Zombie tries to compensate by keeping the graphic violence as intense and unpleasant as possible but at a run time of nearly 2 hours you'll be wishing there was more. Only slightly above average but something I'm looking forward to seeing again.
- DirectorKevin ConnorStarsDoug McClureJohn McEnerySusan PenhaligonDuring World War I, a German U-boat sinks a British ship and takes the survivors on board. After it takes a wrong turn, the submarine takes them to the unknown land of Caprona, where they find dinosaurs and neanderthals.Best-selling author Michael Moorcock did an exceptional job adapting the 1st novella of the classic Caspak trilogy by Edgar Rice Burroughs in this fondly remembered adventure produced by Amicus and AIP. Moorcock's screenplay is faithful to the source material and director Kevin THE HOUSE WHERE EVIL DWELLS Connor treats it with the respect it deserves. Doug OUT OF THIS WORLD McClure plays the the survivor of a WWI sea battle who commodere's the German U-boat that torpedoed his ship. Bowen and the rest of his team force the Nazi crew to set shore on the lost continent of Caprona where dinosaurs rule and evolution progresses in real-time depending on which direction you're headed. The standed explorers face insurmountable odds on the volcanic island while they search the dangerous terrain for supplies while keeping a watchful eye on the nazi crew. British actor John JAMAICA INN Enery is quite fun as the back-stabbing captain although his voice was dubbed by someone else. The cast is pretty good considering the lack of star-power. Anthony DOCTOR WHO Ainley, Susan PATRICK Penhaligon, Brian FAWLTY TOWERS Hall & Godfrey WITCHFINDER GENERAL Jones help fill out the professional ensamble all of whom take a back seat to the elaborately staged special FX. Mystery Science Theater 3000 smugly featured THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT in an episode mocking the special effects as if they've never taken a whiff of their own but I think the miniatures, puppetry, pyrotecnics and monster fabrications are as impressive as any on the fx work being done on series like SPACE: 1999 or those terrific Toho kaijus which I love. Artists like Roger ALIEN Dicken, Charles ALIENS Staffell & Alan STAR WARS EPISODE IV RETURN OF THE JEDI Hume all contributed to the appealing look of this adventure which was followed by THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT and a disappointing mockbuster remake in 2009.
- DirectorKevin ConnorStarsPatrick WayneDoug McClureSarah DouglasIn 1919, a British expedition in the Antarctica region is searching for a lost American explorer and finds a hidden prehistoric world instead.This less popular sequel to THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT was based on the 1918 novellas THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT and OUT OF TIMES ABYSS by Edgar Rice Burroughs. This final film from British studio Amicus may have been slightly undermined by A.I.P. who were more 'hand's on' this time around although a stilted screenplay from Patrick THE LEGACY Tilley didn't help. A rescue mission arrives on the 7th continent of Caprona in seach of Bowen (Doug THE HOUSE WHERE EVIL DWELLS McClure) who's been taken hostage by a tribe of warriors more evolved than the cavemen seen in the 1st film. McClure's character pops up in a glorified supporting role not unlike Charlton Heston's contribution to BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES and his absence is felt. Stars Patrick SINBAD AND THE EYE OF THE TIGER Wayne & Sarah SUPERMAN II Douglas track Bowan through the prehistoric landscape with the aid of a busty cavegirl played by the scantilly clad Dana THE LOST CONTINENT Gillespie. Director Kevin MINSTREL'S DAUGHTER Connor does what he can with tthe dinosaur fabrications which are less plentiful and frequently feel recycled. The artists who provided the effects include David DARK CITY Harris, Ian OMEN III: THE FINAL CONFLICT Wingrove and John HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS PART 2 Richardson all of whom appeared to be strapped for time and cash. Look for David FRANKENSTEIN AND THE MONSTER FROM HELL Prowse and Thorley FRANKENSTEIN MUST BE DESTROYED Walters among the less than stellar cast. Average.
- DirectorKevin ConnorStarsDoug McClurePeter CushingCaroline MunroA Victorian era scientist and his assistant take a test run in their Iron Mole drilling machine and end up in a strange underground labyrinth ruled by a species of giant telepathic bird and full of prehistoric monsters and cavemen.Hot on the heels of their hit THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT, British studio Amicus and American distributer AIP produced this colorful fantasy based on the classic 1st novella in the Pellucidar series by Edgar Rice Burroughs published in 1914. Pellucidar was brilliantly designed by a crack team of artists all of whom enjoyed hugely successful careers in the industry including special effects supervisor Ian CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER Wingate, cinematographer Alan LIFEFORCE Hume, and art director Bert ALIENS Davey. Our heroes descend into hollow earth in an experimental ship created by the befuddled but brilliant inventor played by the charming Peter THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN Cushing. Dr. Perry's financial backer David (Doug THE BARBARY COAST McClure) goes along for the maiden voyage only to become stranded in the strange interior world where human slaves toil under a race of telepathic, reptilian birds called Mahars. The adventurers are captured by a vicious species of mole men who act as over-seers but plan their escape when David's new prehistoric love interest Princess Dia (Caroline THE GOLDEN VOYAGE OF SINBAD Munro) is marked for human sacrifice. The under-rated Kevin FRANKENSTEIN Conner directed this exciting and memorable cult classic working from a screenplay by Milton TALES FROM THE CRYPT Subotsky. Despite AT THE EARTH'S CORE success Amicus went bankrupt along with rival studio Hammer who also ceased production in 1976 as THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT was being prepped. The estate of Mr. Burroughs authorized a novelized sequel by author John Holmes called The Mahars of Pellucidar. Well worth a look and recommended without reservation.
- DirectorKevin ConnorStarsDoug McClurePeter GilmoreShane RimmerTwo deep-sea explorers and their crew must survive a master race of beings and monstrous creatures when they discover the fabled city of Atlantis.Following the collapse of Amicus director Kevin MOTEL HELL Connor & star Doug HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP McClure reunited for their 4rth consecutive fantasy adventure after THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT, THE PEOPLE THAT TIME FORGOT & AT THE EARTH'S CORE. This original story unconnected to the writings of Edgar Rice Burroughs from Brian ARABIAN ADVENTURE Hayler featured McClure as an explorer searching for the lost continent of Atlantis. Disaster strikes as mutinous sailors attempt to scuttle the mission sponsored by Professor Aitkin and his son Charles (Peter THE ABOMINABLE DR. PHIBES Gilmore, Donald JULES VERNE'S ROCKET TO THE MOON Bisset). The surviving crew are pulled to the bottom of the sea in their diving bell where they are taken prisoner by Atmir; telepathic ruler of the evil alien Atlanteans. Gilled humanoid slaves toil under the threat of attack by giant sea monsters who guard the city while it's ruling class plot to take over the world. Michael WHOEVER SLEW AUNTIE ROO? Gothard played the colorful villain while the forgettable Lea THE LIFETAKER Brodie co-stars a a lower caste Atlantean willing to aid the terrestrials escape. The miniature special effects work are as fabulous as anything in THUNDERBIRDS and vividly recreated the look and feel of classic kaiju fare like EBIRA: MONSTER OF THE DEEP. There's a surprising amount of ambitious special effects work on display. Younger audiences and genre addicts will find this curiously obscure fantasy more tolerable than most.
- DirectorC. Thomas HowellStarsC. Thomas HowellTimothy BottomsLindsey McKeonShipwrecked castaways stumble upon the mysterious island of Caprona in the Bermuda Triangle, confronting man-eating dinosaurs and a stranded German U-Boat crew while trying to escape.C. Thomas THE HITCHER II: I'VE BEEN WAITING Howell directed & starred in this bland update of the classic fantasy novella THE LAND THAT TIME FORGOT by Edgar Rice Burroughs. The book was adapted by Howell's frequent collaborator/co-star Darren THE WAR OF THE WORLDS 2: THE NEXT WAVE Dalton & also served as a loose remake of the 1974 Amicus/American International production. The story opens with a group of people falling through a time-warp in the Bermuda Triangle where they are stranded on a prehistoric island populated by dinosaurs and other castaways including the surviving crew of a German submarine. The U boat may be their only chance to escape but they'll need to work together to take down a Tyrannosaurus Rex who guards the oil reserve. The actors (Timothy ROLLERCOASTER Bottoms, Lindsey AIRLINE DISASTER McKeon) aren't bad but the CG animations are terrible. The Asylum is a poverty row studio and this pic probably cost less to make than the original 35 years ago but to his credit Howell manages occasionally to salvage some FX sequences with creative camera work and sincere performances from a likeable cast. 4 stars may be the highest rating I've given a movie from The Asylum who followed this minor success with an uncredited filmed version of Burrough's PRINCESS OF MARS.
- DirectorSheng DingStarsJackie ChanYe LiuTian JingA man looking for the release of a long-time prisoner takes a police officer, his daughter, and a group of strangers hostage.POLICE STORY: LOCKDOWN (aka POLICE STORY 2013) is the 2nd soft reboot of the POLICE STORY franchise following 2004's NEW POLICE STORY and the 7th film overall taking into account SUPERCOP 2. The film was directed/written by Ding A BETTER TOMORROW 2018 Sheng and stars a more mature Jackie Chan who at 60 plays Detective Zhong Wen with considerably more vulnerability than action movie fans are used to seeing. This installment takes itself deathly serious so don't expect any chuckles till the blooper reel over the end credits. Zhong searches for his estranged daughter; Miao Miao (Jing KONG: SKULL ISLAND Tian) who's taken up with a former pit fighter known as Spider in defiance of her father. Wu SAVING MR. WU Jiang makes for one of Chan's most challenging villains to date. Liu Ye (as he's known in his dark business circles) has transformed his state-of -the-art night club into an impenetrable fortress with revenge on his mind. His vendetta is tied to the tragic death of his sister and his intention is to use Miao Miao as bait in order to kill Zhong and everyone else he holds responsible. The violence is intense this time and the action can be brutal but it pays off in an explosive finale which is expertly staged & completely unpredictable. Followed by an unofficial sequel (POLICE STORY: REBORN) and a spin-off in 2016 (STEEL BLADE) both starring Chan.
- DirectorSheng DingStarsJackie ChanJaycee ChanZitao HuangA railroad worker in China in 1941 leads a team of freedom fighters against the Japanese in order to get food for the poor.RAILROAD TIGERS was the 3rd and least interesting collaboration between writer/director Ding Sheng & Jackie Chan following LITTLE BIG SOLDIER & POLICE STORY: LOCKDOWN. It's a terrific looking & well cast film with tremendous visual effects and attention to period detail. The stylish introduction reminded me of the video game BORDERLANDS 2 where the main characters are introduced by name, occupation & catchphrase. Unfortunately, that's about it for character development. There are flashes of anime which depict the rebels as cartoons and those brief scenes work because these guys are so sketchily drawn on paper anyway. Chan plays Ma Yuan the leader of a band of resistance fighters known as the RAILROAD TIGERS. He and his comrades (a rag-tag, slap-schticky group) must somehow detonate a key transportation point to prevent the shipment of arms from reaching it's destination. Standing between their mission's success is a heavily armed tyrant named Yamagushi (Hirokoki SPACE BATTLESHIP YAMOTO Ikeuchi) & his battalion of trained soldiers. RAILROAD TIGERS came across to me as an awkward fusion of BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAII and HOGAN'S HEROES. The comedic elements clash terribly with the war-time drama undermining the tension that should be there and lessening the impact of Yamagushi as a threat to freedom fighters. There are funny moments and I found myself smiling a lot just as I was truly impressed by the spectacular battle sequences but overall the movie's damaged by the inconsistent tone to the point none of it jells together as a whole. Close but no cigar. Look for Jackie's talented son Jaycee THE TWIN EFFECT II Chan. Average.
- DirectorSheng DingStarsJackie ChanLeehom WangYoo Seung-junAn old soldier kidnaps a young General of an enemy state and takes him on a long journey to collect the reward.Jackie SHANGHAI DAWN Chan wrote this charming and poignant adventure 20 years ago with the intention of starring as the young general who is taken hostage by an enemy soldier. Probably he would have been amazing but I'm glad he took the part of the pacifist farmer who hopes that by turning over the heir to the enemy's throne he may restore peace to the land. During the battle the general's treacherous brother orders an ambush but the future king (Leehom Wang) is saved by the clever, opportunistic farmer. The actors play wonderfully togther bonding during their martial art demonstrations. The choregraphed fights differ in that (as a pacifist..) Chan fired back evasive manouvers and good-natured gags at the speed of light not fists. When not trying to outwit or playfully kill one another the pair are forced to work togther to survive the dangers ahead. Eventually they discover the honor they both hold dear and forge a close friendship. Sing-Jou DRAGON BLADE Yoo makes for an imposing adversary as the war mongering prince determined to hunt his brother down and the lovely Peng A CHINESE GHOST STORY Lin guest stars as an enigmatic singer who lost everything in the war who crosses paths with the embattled pair throughout their perilous journey. I laughed a lot and loved the charactors. The final moments are heart-breaking but resonate with truth. This would be the 1st collaboration between Chan & director Sheng POLICE STORY: LOCKDOWN Ding. Chan fans will enjoy the gag reel that plays over the end credits and will be treated to listening to the Oscar recipient sing the theme song.
- DirectorJoseph KaneStarsGene AutrySmiley BurnetteMaxine DoyleGene and Frog arrive with a herd of horses for Gene's brother, a diamond prospector whose work has attracted the interest of a bunch of bad guys.County/western superstar Gene Autry starred in this B&W, musical adventure set in South Africa where his brother Tex (Ken COWBOY SERENADE Cooper) has been captured by a stereotypical tribe of aboriginals. Gene, Frog (Smiley ON TOP OF OLD SMOKEY Burnette) & Champion: The Wonder Horse face all manner of danger from stock footage lions to a man in an ape costume but the real threat's a villain named Cardigan (LeRoy JUNGLE MENACE Mason) who had Tex framed for murder to steal his diamond mine. Maxine G-MEN VS THE BLACK DRAGON Doyle plays the wholesome love-interest while The Cabin Kids lend a musical hand while Gene sings classic tunes like She'll Be Coming Round the Mountain. Many of these vintage B-westerns were slightly edited from their brief run-times to fill an hour time-slot on television. The 54 minute cut's about the same but stick to the original from scribe Oliver NATION AFLAME Drake & director Joseph YODELIN' KID FROM PINE RIDGE Kane. One of a long succession of Republic Pictures to feature The King of the Cowboys.
- DirectorB. Reeves EasonStarsGene AutrySmiley BurnetteFrances GrantGene and Frog set out to find out who has been causing the accidents at a dam construction site.Gene THE GENE AUTRY SHOW Autry got his start on screen making B-movies for Mascot Pictures in the 1930s but found himself working for poverty row studio Republic Pictures soon after where he was billed 'King of the Cowboys' (and later 'King of the Singing Cowboys' towards the end of their lucrative association). Autry and Republic made dozens of enormously popular films together of which RED RIVER VALLEY was their 5th collaboration. Gene along with his almost equally famous sidekick Frog (Smiley PETTICOAT JUNCTION Burnette) take jobs as watchmen when a local desperado (Booth CHARLIE CHAN AT THE CIRCUS Howard) targets the irrigation ditches and dam with sabotage. While fending off the villain Gene wins the heart of Mary (Francis OH, SUSANNA Grant) and earns the ire of a banker named Moore (Frank THE SHADOW LaRue) who want the barmaid for himself. Moore throws his black hat in with the saboteurs to eliminate the competition. With all that going on you'd wonder where anyone has the time to croon but writers Dorrell THE LITTLEST HOBO McGowan & Stuart VALLEY OF THE ZOMBIES McGowan slip in lots of tunes including a variation of RED RIVER VALLEY. The infamous B. Reeves UNDERSEA KINGDOM Eason directed this agreeable B&W horse opera. The director was knick-named 'Breezy Eason' because of his breezy, dismissive attitude towards safety regulation when working with stunt horses. While no Champion was harmed during production plenty of others were throughout his lengthy career and he was dogged by complaints from the Humane Society and outraged moviegoers. A horse like Champion was kinda' like the Batmobile back in the day and had it's share of fans so it's no wonder Breezy Eason was so despised.
- DirectorEd RagozzinoStarsGeorge LaurisSteve BoergadineJim BradfordScientists mount an expedition to find a Bigfoot-type creature.This rather scenic mockumentary claims to have been filmed in Canada's west coast but all those trees you'll be looking at set down root in Oregon. Apparently British Columbia was selected as the most likely place to find bigfeet (plural) according to a computer analysis of Sasquatch sightings. You won't actually see any giant humanoid monsters although SASQUATCH: THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT features many staged re-enactments and stock footage of the animals you might expect to find in a forest including bears, deer, ducks etc and those clips come with a folksy soundtrack to help ease the misery you'll experience watching. This regionally produced hoax is about as scary as any given episode of Mutual of Omaha's WILD KINGDOM and was made entirely by people you've never heard of before or since. Banal. Unconvincing. Badly dated.
- DirectorJohn WatersStarsSonny BonoRuth BrownDivineA 'pleasantly plump' teenager teaches 1962 Baltimore a thing or two about integration after landing a spot on a local TV dance show.Hardcore John Waters fans may lick my doorknobs for saying so but this kitschy, 1960s flavored musical has to be his masterpiece. It's certainly his most mainstream & accesable creation to date with a magnificently campy cast ready, willing and able to knock this out of the ballpark. Ricki CECIL B. DEMENTED Lake is sensational in her film debut as a plump high school special ed student growing up in Baltimore during the era of segregation. Tracy Turnblad's parents Wilber & Edna (Jerry SEINFELD Stiller & PINK FLAMINGOS actor Divine) are their daughters biggest fans when she uses her newfound fame as a dancer on The Corny Collins Show to promote equal rights for blacks & to sell girdles. Tracy's nemesis on the show is the spoiled segregationist Amber Von Tussle (Colleen DRACULA 2000 Fitzpatrick) who stands to lose her boyfriend (Micheal GREAT BALLS OF FIRE St. Gerard) & the Miss Auto Show crown to the hair hopping activist. Amber's parents (Debbie VIDEODROME Harry, Sonny SONNY AND CHER Bono) will stop at nothing to keep their Tilted Acres amusment park empire minority free. Despite the theme of racism HAIRSPRAY is surprisingly light-hearted, genuinely funny, insightful and it's got a beat! The evocative soundtrack will have you slapping your kness and singing along and far too entertained to give a whole lot of thought to the history lesson unfolding before you. Waters is especially agile while reminding us that the black artists who sang those tunes were exploited terribly by their record labels. Rock & Roll Hall of Famer and Rhythm and Blues legend Ruth Brown co-stars as Motormouth Mabelle who hosts Negro Day on the popular after school dance series along with Corny Collins (Nova Scotia's own Shawn THE JOAN RIVERS SHOW Thompson). Her son Seaweed (Clayton ANOTHER WORLD Prince) has fallen in love with Tracy's shy best friend. Look forward to seeing The Cars' Ric Ocasek and the iconic Pia THE LONELY LADY Zadora as a loveable pair of pot smoking Beatniks. This instant cult classic was successfully re-imagined as a Broadway musical which scored a slew of Tony Awards in 2002. Ricki Lake would appear briefly in the 2007 remake but not in the role that made her famous.
- DirectorAdam ShankmanStarsJohn TravoltaQueen LatifahNikki BlonskyPleasantly plump teenager Tracy Turnblad teaches 1962 Baltimore a thing or two about integration after landing a spot on a local TV dance show.
- DirectorJames ThomasStarsAlyson GorskeAimee StolteJustin BertiWhen the leader of the evil Coalition threatens to destroy a Rebel planet for its resources, his daughter will have no choice but to join the Rebel side and fight for what is right.The Asylum should have called this impoverished mockbuster Babble Beyond the Stars cuz all anyone does is talk. There's a few minutes of cartoonish CG peppered here and there depicting space battles courtesy of someone named Sasha ASTEROID-A-GEDDON Burrow and a limp-wristed duel that takes place in someone else's backyard but that's it if you're looking for action. Maybe 6-7 people tops contributed to the CG & stunt work to give you an idea of what to expect from this instantly forgotten rip-off of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA and STAR WARS. Mostly you'll be watching bad actors you've never heard of yak in the same ugly, claustrophobic poorly lit rooms. Justin MODEL FOR MURDER: THE CENTERFOLD KILLINGS Berti is Lord Malaster whose daughter (Alyson AIRLINE SKY BATTLE Garske) has joined the rebel forces (Benedikt EYE WITHOUT A FACE Sebastion, Aimee MEGALODON Stolte) to protect someone's backyard (the cloaked planet known as Haven) from the sinister Coalition of Planets. You'll never see those other plants because there was only enough cash for one backyard in the budget. Thomas HAVEN James pointed the camera and Jeremy AVENGERS GRIMM 2: TIME WARS Inman wrote this pitiful DOG. Lowly even by the unfathomably low standard of this notorious poverty row studio.
- DirectorEric BrevigStarsBrendan FraserJosh HutchersonAníta BriemOn a quest to find out what happened to his missing brother, a scientist, his nephew and their mountain guide discover a fantastic and dangerous lost world in the center of the earth.This 60 million dollar adaption of Jules Verne's 1864 novel JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH is surprisingly faithful to the source material if you've never had the pleasure of reading it yourself. Mind you, it's been wickedly stripped down to the barest of bones and modernized by the husband & wife writing team Mark Levin & Jennifer Flackett who have created some very entertaining television series over the years including EARTH 2 & BIG MOUTH. Special effects whiz Eric YOGI BEAR Brevig directed the outrageous action at a breakneck pace in 3D taking advantage of the state of the art technology available. Brendan DOOM PATROL Fraser stars as a volcanologist named Trever who lost his brother many years before under mysterious circumstances. When his nephew Sean (Josh THE HUNGER GAMES Hutcherson) arrives carrying his father's copy of the classic French science fiction novel they discover clues to his disappearance in the pages within. The symbols written down lead them to the home of a deceased volcanologist in Iceland. His surviving daughter Hannah (Icelandic actress Anita THE TUDORS Briem) matches the writing in the American's volume to her father's work confirming the existence of a passage to the center of the earth. The 3 adventurers set off in search of the mythical land populated by spectacularly rendered prehistoric beasts and fantastic CG environments like nothing they've seen before. But how will they ever make it back to the surface? JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH was a huge international hit and was followed by the even more insanely popular JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND starring returning Hutcherson and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson.
- DirectorDavid JonesScott WheelerStarsGreg EviganDedee PfeifferJennifer DorogiFrom the Jules Verne classic, a hi-tech drilling rig must rescue a research team trapped deep below the Earth's surface. There they discover an exotic world -- rich with spectacular flora and fantastical creatures.As a gay man I'm giving this Asylum-made mockbuster an additional star for casting Greg Evigan without whom I'd never have been able to say; "B.J. AND THE BEAR doesn't mean the same thing in my house as it does in yours.". The poverty row studio had been making a few bucks ripping off the works of iconic writers like H.G. Wells and Edgar Rice Burroughs which had fallen into public domain. They ordered up this tenth rate adaption of Jules Verne's 1864 novel to coincide with the 2008 releases of the Brendan Fraser theatrical hit & the superior Hallmark made-for-television pic starring Rick Schoeder. Evigan plays the leader of a rescue team who takes a JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH to recover an all-woman group of soldiers stranded AT THE EARTH'S CORE when an experiment in teleportation goes horribly awry. Greg's daughter Vanessa ZOMBIE HAMLET Evigan, Dedee AVH: ALIEN VS HUNTED Pfieffer & Jennifer SINBAD AND THE WAR OF THE FURIES Dorogi are better at wearing low cut T-shirts than they are reading out the lines Steve TOTALLY RAD DANCING MOVES OF DANCIN' KIM Bevilaqua scribbled down for them. This would be the 1st and only film for co-director Davey Jones but sadly only the beginning for Scott Wheeler who'd go on to make CELEBRITY SEX TAPES and ATTACK OF THE KILLER DONUTS. Wheeler (who is an employable special effects artist) should be ashamed to include JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH on his resume. The worst adaption of a Jules Verne classic in the history of the universe.
- DirectorRussell MulcahyStarsKyle MacLachlanDanielle CalvertGabrielle AnwarTo escape evils of the Civil War, Cyrus removes his small family and random war prisoners by way of hot air balloon. Once landing on an island, the group finds they are surrounded by danger from giant insects and gold-craving pirates. Turned away by the only safe haven on the island, owned by Captain Nemo, played by Sir Patrick Stewart, the group is forced to find shelter and survive.
- DirectorGabriel BolognaStarsLorenzo LamasSean LawlorNatalie StoneCaptain Nemo goes even deeper into insanity in this mesmerizing fantasy tale. Once again at the helm of his fearsome, wildly advanced vessel, the nautical madman endeavors to turn the world above the waves upside down.Lorenzo FALCON CREST Thomas & Natalie ALLAN QUATERMAIN & THE TEMPLE OF SKULLS Stone play a pair of smitten lieutenant's taken hostage by the legendary Captain Nemo (Sean MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS Lawlor) aboard his fantastic submersible The Nautilus. The insane Captain needs the 'oxygenator' Thomas invented to bring the undersea kingdom of Atlantis to life. The cost is the lives of the terrestrial population should they choose not to submit to his aqua-dictatorship. Screen-writer Eric WAR OF THE WORLDS 2: THE NEXT WAVE Forsberg butchered Jules Verne's 1869 sci-fi classic 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA for director Gabriel AFRICAN GOTHIC Balogna. 30,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA is further crippled by inferior CG effects and an indifferent cast. The 1959 Disney classic is light years ahead of this Asylum mockbuster.
- DirectorRussell MulcahyStarsCasper Van DienJonathan HydeLeonor VarelaThousands of years ago, the great Child King Tutankhamen ruled. Few know the details of his life no one knows the secrets of his death. But all is about to change. In 1922 Cairo, free-spirited archaeologist Danny Fremont is certain that if found, King Tut's Emerald Tablet would hold the ultimate power to control the world. But unfortunately, the only person who believes Fremont is his ruthless archaeologist nemesis Morgan Sinclair, a member of a secret society who wants the tablet to harness unspeakable evil on the world and will stop at nothing to get it and then extend their world domination. But with the help of a crackerjack team adventurers that includes the doubting egyptologist Dr. Azelia Barakat, Fremont ventures through the Valley of the Kings, toward Tut's tomb, near the portal to the underworld, and getting closer to the truth behind a mystery that will change the world forever or end it.The frequently under-rated Russle THE SHADOW Mulcahy directed this silly but enjoyable Hallmark mini-series that was clearly intended as an homage to INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM with a fedora sporting Casper STARSHIP TROOPERS Van Dien cast as the lead. He plays a bold archaeologist named Danny Freemont who's searching for the emerald tablets of King Tut's tomb with the help of his skeptical love interest Azelia (Leonor HELL RIDE Varela) unaware of the earth-shattering secret buried there. The tablets open a portal to the underworld so every step of the way they're stalked by a murderous rival named Sinclair who's in league with a satanic cult led by A CLOCKWORK ORANGE star Malcolm McDowall. Jonathan THE MUMMY Hyde is maybe a little too over-the-top as Sinclair but has gone on record as saying he only agreed to participate for the free trip to India where the 2-part movie was shot. Mulcahy handles the not great special effects better than most and has fun with the script by David AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS Titcher. I'd watch it again.
- DirectorVictor HalperinStarsBela LugosiMadge BellamyJoseph CawthornA young man turns to a witch doctor to lure the woman he loves away from her fiancé, but instead turns her into a zombie slave.Horror movie icon Bela FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLFMAN Lugosi starred as 'Murder' Legendre; a Voodoo priest with the power to enslave the living in this marvelous cult classic which is on par with the more famous Universal monster franchises. Director Victor SUPERNATURAL Halperin shot WHITE ZOMBIE utilizing the same sets and dressings featured in movies like THE CAT AND THE CANARY, FRANKENSTEIN and THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME so naturally some of the atmosphere carried over. Famed make-up artist Jack Pierce also lent his talent to this eerie film which was among the 1st to feature zombies. Pierce had become a legend for his work on everything from THE BLACK CAT to THE MUMMY for Universal strengthening the ties between this low budget hit and the better known films it emulates. Madge CHARLIE CHAN IN LONDON Bellamy plays Madeleine Short who is engaged to a handsome young banker named Neil Parker (John THE INVISIBLE MENACE Harron). Driven to desperate ends by his jealousy, Charles (Robert CAPTAIN AMERICA Frazer) begs Legendre to transform Madeleine into a mindless shell of her former self so that he may force her to be his bride. As Madeleine is enslaved by the madman's power Charles comes to regret his decision but it may already be too late for the betrothed! Writer Garnet BULLDOG DRUMMOND IN AFRICA Weston based his nifty screenplay on William Seabrook's novel Magic Island. Followed by 1936s REVOLT OF THE ZOMBIES. B&W.
- DirectorVictor HalperinStarsDorothy StoneDean JaggerRoy D'ArcyAn international expedition is sent into Cambodia to destroy an ancient formula that turns men into zombies.Director Victor TORTURE SHIP Halperin intended REVOLT OF THE ZOMBIES as a sequel to WHITE ZOMBIE however the investors of that 1932 hit sued to prevent the plan from coming to fruition. An uncredited Bela Lugusi reprises the role of 'Murder' Legendre only when stock footage of his hypnotic eyes are required. Oscar winner Dean TWELVE O'CLOCK HIGH Jagger plays a lovelorn soldier named Armand who'd been sent to Cambodia to discover the secret of transforming men into zombies through the magic of Voodoo. He's also been ordered to destroy the secret so that it can never be used again and yet it occurs to our hero that such power might be beneficial in winning the hand of the lovely Clair who accompanied her father on the military exorcise. Look for Nova Scotia's own George FLASH GORDON Cleveland playing Clair's concerned father in this dreary time-waster from poverty row studio Halperin Pictures and writer Howard RAW TIMBER Higgins. B&W
- DirectorJean YarbroughStarsDick PurcellJoan WoodburyMantan MorelandOn a spooky island, three stranded travelers find an evil doctor working with foreign spies and in control of zombies.Jean THE DEVIL BAT Yarbrough directed this amiable zombie pic for Monogram Studios based on a screenplay by Edmond TEX RIDES WITH THE BOY SCOUTS Kelso. This black and white cult classic starred Dick CAPTAIN AMERICA Purcell as a pilot forced to land on an uncharted Caribbean island along with his manservant (Montan MONTAN RUNS FOR MAYOR Moreland) and passenger (John I SAW WHAT YOU DID Archer). While seeking shelter at the estate of Dr. Sangre (Henry FREAKS Victor) the trio fall under the influence of magic Voodoo used to transform men into the walking dead. A lovely & sympathetic servant (Joan CHARLIE CHAN & THE CHINESE CAT Woodbury) offers to help solve the mystery. Moreland was Monogram's comic relief of choice although his pop-eyed mugging for the camera later inspired contempt from those who considered his schtick demeaning to blacks. He was a pioneer IMO and this is some of his best work. This low-key thriller wouldn't have been nearly as much fun without Moreland. KING OF THE ZOMBIES won an Academy Award nomination for Edward THE SHADOW RETURNS Kay's dramatic score and was followed by a reboot in 1943.
- DirectorSteve SekelyStarsJohn CarradineGale StormRobert LoweryAfter the death of Max's spouse, Lila, Max holds a funeral for her, but he has also reanimates her as a zombie. He is amazed when Lila show signs of free will and challenges him for control.Monogram produced this slightly inferior remake of their minor 1941 B-movie hit KING OF THE ZOMBIES starring Robert BATMAN AND ROBIN Lowrey and his man-servant Jeff investigating a mad scientist creating Nazi zombies at his secret estate. John THE MUMMY AND THE CURSE OF THE JACKALS Carradine sleep-walks through his part as do most of the zombie-fied cast. Mantan Moreland and character actress Madame Sul-Te-Wan recreate essentially the same parts they played in the earlier film which was also written by Edmond TEX RIDES WITH THE BOY SCOUTS Kelso but nothing here is as fresh or funny. The feature feels over-long at only 61 minutes and there's not enough atmosphere in the black and white air to sustain interest. Steve Sekeby was never much of a director and may be best remembered for THE DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS.
- DirectorMilton Moses GinsbergStarsDean StockwellKatalin KallayHenry FerrentinoReporter having affair with president's daughter sent to Hungary, bitten by wolf then transferred back to Washington where bodies appear.THE WEREWOLF OF WASHINGTON isn't the worst movie about lycanthropy ever made (that honor goes to HOWLING II: YOUR SISTER IS A WEREWOLF) but it's close. The political satire wasn't even remotely funny or insightful 50 years ago and the gags entirely fail to ignite. There's not a laugh or scare to be had in this utterly flavorless rehash of THE WOLF MAN set in the era of Watergate. The usually reliable Dean THE TONY DANZA SHOW Stockwell is simply awful as a government aid who is transformed into a poorly made up hairy beast after a trip to Hungary. He comes back to D.C. looking like Michael Landon circa I WAS A TEENAGE WEREWOLF. The special effects aren't even as good as those horrible Spanish monster mash-ups with Paul Naschy and they're without any endearing quality. Actor Biff FRANCIS GARY POWERS: THE TRUE STORY OF THE U-2 SPY INCIDENT McGuire who plays the president is equally bad. There's no charm or cinematic magic on display and you can blame writer/director Milton Moses Ginsberg who never did amount to much as a film-maker. Way below average.
- DirectorAlex NicolStarsJohn HudsonPeggy WebberRuss ConwayA newly married couple arrives at the home of the husband's late wife, where the gardens have been maintained by a gardener faithful to the dead woman's memory. Soon, eerie events lead the new wife to think she's losing her mind.A seemingly happily married couple move into the mansion the husband inherited after his 1st wife Marianne died under mysterious circumstances. Jenni Whitlock (Peggy THE SPACE CHILDREN Webber) immediately suspects supernatural forces are loose in the house but Eric (John WHEN GANGLAND STRIKES Hudson) think's she's imagining things. This cheap and boring B&W pic fell instantly into public domain after being double billed with American International's EARTH VS THE SPIDER and was an uncredited adaption of the 1906 short story by Francis Marion Crawford. John TWO ON A GUILLOTINE Kneubuhl wrote the predictable script for 1st time director Alex POINT OF TERROR Nicol who also appears as the late Mrs. Whitlock's dim-witted gardener. Copying William Castle's MACABRE, the film-maker offered patrons a free burial should they die from fright while watching THE SCREAMING SKULL but the only ones who ever did were trampled in the rush for the theatre's exit doors.
- DirectorAdam GreenStarsKane HodderJoel David MooreDeon RichmondWhen a group of tourists in a New Orleans haunted swamp tour find themselves stranded in the wilderness, their evening of fun and spooks turns into a horrific nightmare.Disreputable distributer Anchor Bay Entertainment (I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE, THE HOWLING REBORN) released this FRIDAY THE 13TH knock-off with Kane JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY Hodder cast as a murderous hillbilly named VICTOR CROWLEY. Crowley suffered from extreme facial deformities that his father (also Hodder) made ten times worse that time he hit him in the face with an axe. Now dead, the monster haunts the swamp in search of victims to slaughter. Perry GENERAL HOSPITAL Shen plays an incompetent river boat tour guide who gets a group of tourists (Joel THE SHAGGY DOG Moore, Tamara HAROLD & KUMAR ESCAPE FROM GUANTANOMO BAY Feildman, etc) stranded in the middle of the bayou where they are forced to fight for their lives against an unbeatable enemy. A handful of genre darlings were hired WISHMASTER-style to give this low budget slasher some marquee value including Tony CANDYMAN 3 Todd, John GINGERDEAD MAN 2: THE PASSION OF THE CRUST Carl Buechler & Robert FREDDY'S DEAD: THE FINAL NIGHTMARE Englund but the star of the show's really the practical old-school make-up gore effects. Gore hounds will rate this more highly for the sickening level of splatter but even that's just recycling the same kind of stuff fans expected to see decades ago. The difference here is that Tom DAWN OF THE DEAD Savini handled the bloody executions for flicks like FRIDAY THE 13TH THE FINAL CHAPTER while HATCHET's chief make-up artist was Buechler who may be best known for his work on GHOULIES III: GHOULIES GO TO COLLEGE. Adam Green who I only know from that FRIDAY THE 13TH video game I didn't like wrote & directed this derivative horror movie and it's eventual sequels including an indie comic based on his characters.
- DirectorAdam GreenStarsDanielle HarrisKane HodderTony ToddMarybeth escapes the clutches of the bayou-butcher Victor Crowley and returns to the swamp with an army of hunters and gunmen, determined to end Crowley's reign of horror once and for all.Adam GINGERDEAD MAN 2: PASSION OF THE CRUST Green wrote/directed this slick, low-budget rip-off of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise for distributor Anchor Bay. Kane ED GEIN: THE BUTCHER OF PLAINSFIELD Hodder plays the psychotic swamp dweller VICTOR CROWLEY who is cursed to murder anyone who gets within swinging distance of his axe. Danielle HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS Harris assumes the role of final girl Marybeth Dunstan who leads an expedition into the bayou with the intent to send the supernatural freak to Hell. Veteran genre darlings Tony SCARECROW: SLAYER Todd, Tom THE LANGOLIERS Holland, John Carl THE DUNGEONMASTER Buechler & R.A. PUMPKINHEAD II: BLOOD WINGS Mihailoff try real hard to lend this overly-familiar slasher a level of respectability it's neither earned nor deserves. The much-ballyhooed practical make-up gore effects are mostly a hundred and fifty gallons of splattered fake-blood. Folks like Ralis FEAST II: SLOPPY SECONDS Kahn, Micah SILENT NIGHT Galt & Duke JACK FROST Cullen helped crank out lots of over-the-top, gratuitously bloody kills but there's nothing especially memorable about their presentation. It may satisfy undemanding gore hounds but those who are more used to the polish of CG will be far less impressed. I would have been happy with just a few genuine scares. Danielle Harris is a favorite scream queen and an actress I admire. Her performance in Zombie's HALLOWEEN II is so much more layered and natural than this similar stuff Green's given her to work with. The writing's way too cartoonish for this Vason Vorhees clone to be played with such a straight face. An element of camp would benefit this material in lieu of anything of artistic merit. It desperately needs something to set it apart other than it's insistence on utilizing cheap, old-school special effects. Followed by HATCHET III
- DirectorBJ McDonnellStarsDanielle HarrisKane HodderZach GalliganA search and recovery team heads into the haunted swamp to pick up the pieces, and Marybeth learns the secret to ending the voodoo curse that has left Victor Crowley haunting and terrorizing Honey Island Swamp for decades.B.J. McDonnell is a skilled cameraman known for his contributions for everything from SHAZAM to AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON but he's no director. He knows it, I know it and you'll know too if you bother watching this unnecessary, more-of-the-same sequel to the Anchor Bay flop HATCHET. I'll bet he knows cameras inside out and that's great but he displays no skill as a film-maker. But then again, maybe they weren't required for this 2nd rate knock off of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise. Sheriff Fowler (Zack CYBORG 3: THE RECYCLER Gallagher) and his ex Amanda (Caroline LEPRECHAUN 3 Williams) were connected by blood to the arsonist who burned down the Crowley shack. VICTOR CROWLEY & his adulterous father (Both played by stuntman Kane CHILDREN OF THE CORN V: FIELDS OF TERROR Hodder) died in the fire leaving the disfigured son to haunt the swamp while his dad's ashes were kept by Victor's uncle (Sid NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD 3D Haig). To end the curse Marybeth Dunstan (Danielle HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS Harris) must retrieve the ashes and return them to his immortal, psychotic son. You're all caught up. I only know Adam Green for this derivative franchise and that awful FRIDAY THE 13TH video game I threw in the trash. For HATCHET III he's scripted a number of executions for your entertainment all thrown together on the cheap utilizing out-dated practical make up effects which would barely have cut the mustard 35 years ago. Robert DINOCROC Pentegraft, Adrienne HELLRAISER: JUDGEMENT Lynn, Greg PHANTASM II Smith and Hailey SWAMP SHARK Authement all contributed to the slop-bucket special effects which are neither scary nor especially interesting to look at. The final nail in HATCHET III's coffin is the utterly lackluster cinematography from Will Barrett who may be best known for HOUSE ARREST WITH ANDY DICK. HATCHET II earned about $65,000 during it's brief theatrical run. I'd be surprised if this garbage made half as much. Inexplicably followed by VICTOR CROWLEY.
- DirectorAdam GreenStarsParry ShenKane HodderLaura OrtizTen years after the events of the original movie, Victor Crowley is mistakenly resurrected and proceeds to kill once more.
- DirectorBernard GirardStarsJames CaanStefanie PowersAldo RayAfter being framed, a cowboy is sent to jail. After his time is served, he leaves with vengeance in his heart. Soon he meets a young Native American woman and together they go to settle their score with a small town and its corrupt leader.GONE WITH THE WEST was filmed in 1969 under the title MAN WITHOUT MERCY but stunk so bad it sat on the shelf until the success of Mel Brooks BLAZING SADDLES made it's release possible. The slightly longer re-issue is more commonly known (or unknown as the case may be) as LITTLE MOON AND JUD MCGRAW and stars Stephanie THE AWAKENING Powers and James MISERY Caan as a couple with a score to settle in this unfunny spaghetti western spoof from Bernard THE MAD ROOM Girard and writers Monroe LASSIE'S GREAT ADVENTURE Manning & Doug AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN Stewart. Aldo THE LUCIFER COMPLEX Ray plays the despotic Mimmo who's got a crooked sheriff in his pocket and a lady gunslinger (Barbara KRAKATOA: EAST OF JAVA Werle) for protection while Sammy CANNONBALL RUN II Davis Jr. co-stars as a poolhall hustler running interference for our out-gunned heroes. This obscure DOG was narrated by Heather BULLDOG DRUMMOND'S BRIDE Angel. Very badly edited and atrociously acted despite the talent assembled.
- DirectorHarry WinerStarsIvan MarxPeggy MarxYukon FridaA documentary about the legendary creature, Bigfoot, with emphasis on him being the missing link.Shelley Hack's hubby Harry SPACECAMP Winer got his start in the biz directing this turgid expose of the the creature known as Bigfoot. The film stars Sasquatch hunter Ivan Marx & was produced by his wife Peggy who co-founded The Great American Bigfoot Research Organization. The drawing card of THE LEGEND OF BIGFOOT was a grainy film clip of the beast in the woods many believe was staged by the couple who made a career promoting the hoax especially after the success of 1972's THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK. Although discredited the true believers among us remain fascinated by the subject matter and they would no doubt rate this a tad higher than I ever would.
- DirectorJohn 'Bud' CardosMark RosmanStarsWings HauserBo HopkinsJody MedfordTwo brothers discover that the residents of a small Southern town are being infected by a form of toxic waste, turning them into blood-ravenous zombies.Film Ventures International was an indie distributor & B-movie studio whom genre addicts remember for BEYOND THE DOOR, GRIZZLY, GREAT WHITE and maybe even MUTANT (aka: NIGHT SHADOWS) which would be the the nail in their coffin. MUTANT's box office failure coupled with company president Edward Montoro's embezzling a million dollars (never to be seen again) forced FVI to cease production & file for bankruptcy. Wings BEDROOM EYES II Hauser and Lee BURNT OFFERINGS Montgomery play brothers who become stranded overnight in a redneck town where pesticides manufactured there result in a toxic zombie outbreak. When the younger brother goes missing and the sheriff (Bo DYNASTY Hopkins) is less than helpful, Hauser takes matters into his own hands. Jennifer PAPER DOLLS Warren & Jody CHAINED HEAT Holly also appear in this reasonably made flop. This murky looking horror pic scripted by the relatively unknown John Kruize & Mike SWEET REVENGE Jones began filming under the direction of Mark THE HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW Rosman but drastic changes were ordered forcing last minute rewrites and Rosman's replacement by John 'Bud' Cardos who had previously been hired by FVI to salvage 1979s THE DARK. I didn't hate this forgettable but not forgotten minor drive-in cult classic which benefits from a solid score by the prolific Richard THE RE-ANIMATOR Band.
- DirectorMiguel MoraytaStarsBegoña PalaciosErna Martha BaumanRaúl FarellCount Cagliostro, whose family has tried for generations to rid the world of vampires, instructs his daughter and her fiance to protect several valuable documents.Mexican film-maker Miguel Morayto wrote/directed EL VAMPIRO SANGRIENTO simultaneously with it's sequel INVASION OF THE VAMPIRES for the poverty row studio Azteca Films. In Latin America the Golden Age of cinema was well underway with disreputable distributors like 'The King of the Kiddie Matinee' K. Gordon Murray taking full advantage by 'Americanizing' everything from the wrestling superhero movies to cheesy horror pics like THE AZTEC MUMMY for U.S. syndication. This review refers to the slightly inferior dubbed and edited version better known to English audiences as THE BLOODY VAMPIRE. Carlos Agosti and Antonio Raxel star as a Count Frankenhausen and Valisamo de Cagliastro. The two shared a similarly adversarial relationship in Rene Cordova's JUAN PISTOLES but here are portrayed as the Spanish equivalent of Count Dracula & Van Helsing. The vampire and his sadistic wife Countess Euginia Frankenhausen (Erna EL MUNDO DE LOS VAMPIROS Bauman) trap their mortal enemy's lovely daughter Inez (Hollywood director Sam Peckinpaw's frequent ex wife Begona Palacios) in their gothic mansion but help's on the way. Her boyfriend (Pancho THE MANSION OF MADNESS Cordova) is on his way with secrets shared to him certain to throw a monkey wrench into the Count and Countess' diabolical plans. Cordova is the grandfather of AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. actress Natalia Cordova-Buckley, F.Y.I. At a glance I'd guess EL VAMPIRO SANGRIENTO and it's sequel were intended as a movie serial although I've never seen them in that form. Morayto shamelessly steals every hoary cliche that hasn't been nailed down from the Universal classics and especially Hammer. Not that I'm complaining because as you may have guessed I adore that sort of thing...especially in B&W. I just wish it wasn't so boring! The cinematography and musical score are great and the actors ham it up shamelessly but it still never really catches fire the way one hopes. Below average.
- DirectorHarry RevierStarsShirley MillsBob BollingerWarner RichmondA schoolteacher in a rural community campaigns to stop the practice of older men marrying underage girls.Hollywood censors refused to certify CHILD BRIDE OF THE OZARKS for release calling it; "...a sexually abhorrent abnormality which violates all moral principles." while the one-sheet poster describes it as; "A THROBBING DRAMA OF SHACKLED YOUTH!". This jaw-dropping 'educational' film was released hot on the heels of the widely reported marriage between a 25 year old tobacco farmer named Charlie Johns to Eunice Winstead who was 9. This would be the final film for writer/director Harry THE LOST CITY Revier and the 1st for 12 year actress Shirley THE GRAPES OF WRATH Mills who became quite well known for her infamous skinny dipping scene in this genuine cult classic. Against the objections of a well-intentioned school teacher a lustful hillbilly (Warner FLASH GORDON'S TRIP TO MARS Richmond) is determined to have Jennie for his bride by any means necessary including murder! Look for MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME actor Angello Rossito as a deformed moonshiner billed under the name Dan Barrett. I didn't see CHILD BRIDE OF THE OZARKS until the 80s when it was issued as a VHS tape (sans the nudity) but by 1975 (thanks to People Magazine) I was already aware of Flat Creek's own Don MIAMI VICE Johnson (22) parking outside (14 year old) Melanie Griffith's school waiting for her to get off (<see what I did there?) with her mothers' (Tippi THE BIRDS Hedren) blessing! Nothing shocked me by then. B&W
- StarsRebecca GillingJames ReyneWendy HughesMeet plain but privileged multi-millionairess Stephanie Harper, whose sole mistake is to fall for handsome young sporting hero Greg Marsden.Michael THE YOUNG DOCTORS Laurence created/wrote this instantly sensational 3 part Australian mini-series for Karen Arthur who was mostly known for her duties on American television (LOVE AND BETRAYAL: THE MIA FARROW STORY etc). Rebecca GLENVIEW HIGH Gilling stars as a frumpy heiress named Stephanie Harper whose hot tennis pro husband is planning to feed her to the gators on their honeymoon! RL pop star James WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT? Reyes is just fine as the sinister gigolo who has conspired with Stephanie's best friend Jilly Stewart (Wendy THE MAN FROM SNOWY RIVER Hughes) to swindle her share of the Harper famiy fortune. In a deliriously contrived plot twist Stephanie is transformed from a half-eaten heiress into a super-model on the international stage by her hot new plastic surgeon boyfriend Dr. Dan (James PRISONER: CELL BLOCK 'H' Simille). Under the alias Tara Welles the scorned heroine returns to Eden to reclaim her birthright. RETURN TO EDEN was enormously successful in syndicated markets around the world and compared well with ratings hits like LACE or HOLLYWOOD WIVES. In 1986 a weekly series spin-off tried to give DYNASTY and THE COLBYS a run for their network money as guilty pleasure of choice while a 1988 Hindi-language edition (KHOON BHARI MAANG) may be the best version yet! Plans have been in the works for a formal remake for at least a decade. Fingers crossed. This one's too much fun!
- CreatorMichael LaurenceStarsRebecca GillingJames SmilliePeta ToppanoGlossy Australian soap opera, where the beautiful, dynamic Stephanie Harper battles her enemies to gain sole control of the family company, Harper Mining Limited.RETURN TO EDEN was the outrageously campy Australian prime time soap opera from Michael PEOPLE LIKE US Laurence based on the popular 1983 mini-series about an innocent business-woman tricked into a loveless marriage to a murderous gigolo. Thanks to the double-crossings of her back-stabbing best friend Jilly Stewart on the night of her Honeymoon Stephanie was nearly fed to the gators! Seven years have passed since 'Tara Welles' made her triumphant RETURN TO EDEN. To their horror returning characters Stephanie Harper & Dr. Dan discover Jilly (now played by the ferociously over-the-top by Peta Toppano) has been released from prison on the very day it's revealed the two women are long-lost sisters! Stephanie opens her arms to her duplicitous kin unaware she's in cohorts with Jake Sanders; the brother of the gigolo who tried to feed her to the gators! Daniel Abineri (who reminded me a lot of James Marsters from BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER) and the bitchy Toppano are laugh-out-loud funny as the smirky & cruel power-couple whose lives become even more chaotic with the arrival of Jilly's former lesbian prison bunk-mate. despite the cat-fights, bi-polar bed-hopping & gleefully trashy story arcs RETURN TO EDEN failed to secure a 2nd season. A brief epilogue was filmed after the series cancelation resolving the cliff-hanger finale to the complete satisfaction of this cult items fanbase yet strangely wasn't even made available as a special feature in the box set.
- DirectorRichard IrvingStarsLee MajorsBarbara AndersonMartin BalsamAfter an astronaut and test pilot is catastrophically mutilated in a test plane crash, he is rebuilt and equipped with nuclear powered bionic limbs and implants.This ABC Movie of the Week was the 1st of 3 TV movie pilots released in anticipation of a weekly series which launched on the network in 1974 and ran for 5 enormously popular seasons. This TV movie was loaded with talent at every stage of production. Hal Mooney (the musical supervisor) worked on both BARETTA and COLUMBO. The cinematographer; Emil Oster distinguished himself on prestigious series like FAMILY and THE WALTONS. The artistic director (Raymond Beal) is known to fans for his work on KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER and Saturday morning serials SPACE ACADEMY and JASON OF STAR COMMAND. Howard Rodman adapted Martin Caidin's 1972 best-seller Cyborg to the small screen. The two would similarly collaborate on 1977's EXO-MAN for NBC the year THE BIONIC WOMAN jumped network ships from ABC. Robert Irving may not be a name you know but he was responsible for some unforgettable moments in television history including the COLUMBO pilot; PRESCRIPTION: MURDER and certainly this smart and perfectly cast sci-fi cult classic. Looking back, Universal poured a lot of love into this TV movie and the attention to detail is still evident today. THE BIG VALLEY actor Lee Mayors played a test pilot critically injured while attempting to land an experimental aircraft. Bionic surgeon Dr. Rudy Wells (Martin PSYCHO Balsam) replaces Steve Austin's right arm, both legs and left eye with robotic parts. The head of the shadowy O.S.O. Oliver Spenser (Darren THE NIGHT STRANGLER McGavin) enlists Austin as a secret agent in this slick and rather sophisticated pilot. Stock footage was lifted from 1970's COLLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT. Followed almost immediately by THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN: WINE WOMEN AND WAR.
- DirectorRuss MayberryStarsLee MajorsRichard AndersonAlan OppenheimerAfter a failed mission, Steve Austin goes on vacation and gets a second chance to stop an arms dealer.This 2nd ABC Movie of the Week TV movie pilot for the long-running THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN followed close on the heels of the original and was a ratings hit. The network appears to be tinkering with the formula this time. Richard DYNASTY Anderson makes his 1st appearance as Oscar Goldman; leader of the O.S.I. and Dr. Rudy Wells was now played by Alan Oppenheimer who made a strong impression for his supporting role in WESTWORLD. Lee THE FALL GUY Majors plays a bionic cyborg sent into covert missions like a James Bond-style secret agent. Majors is fine but this has far less depth than the introspective material he had to work before. And the action was an uncredited re-write of Martin Caidin's Cyborg 2: Operation Nuke from producer extraordinaire Glen A. Larson who had his hand in everything from BATTLESTAR GALACTICA to KNIGHTRIDER to BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY. Director Russ SIDNEY SHORR: A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND Mayberry capably handles the intrigue. While on vacation, Austin meets a pair of Russian agents (David THE INVISIBLE MAN McCallum, Britt THE WICKER MAN Ekland) on the hunt for an international fugitive (Eric THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS Braeden). Not quite as science-fictiony as I hoped but not bad. It's got a surprising amount of polish for a pilot. Followed almost immediately by THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN: THE SOLID GOLD KIDNAPPING.
- DirectorRuss MayberryStarsLee MajorsRichard AndersonAlan OppenheimerA criminal organization, known as "O.S.O.", specializes in kidnapping high ranking U.S. representatives. Although Colonel Steve Austin has already thwarted one of their kidnappings, he is unable to stop them from grabbing William Henry Cameron right from under O.S.I.'s nose. O.S.O. demands one billion dollars in gold, and Oscar Goldman takes the opportunity to try and lure them out into the open. Meanwhile, Steve accompanies Dr. Erica Bergner, who is testing a new method of brain transferal, in order to find out where Cameron is being kept.I loved the ABC Movie of the Week! It ran for 6 seasons and you never knew what you were going to get. Very rarely you were graced with something truly special like Steven Spielberg's DUEL or DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK but on average you could expect THE DAUGHTERS OF JOSHUA CABE or THE OVER THE HILL RIDES AGAIN. This 3rd TV movie pilot for a proposed series is a benchmark for the 5th season which also included SCREAM, PRETTY PEGGY and SATAN'S SCHOOL FOR GIRLS. Lee WEEKEND OF TERROR Majors stars as Steve Austin who has become a government agent since receiving bionic transplants. His handler at the O.S.I. Oscar Goldman (Richard THE STEPFORD CHILDREN Anderson) & his surgeon Dr. Rudy Wells (Alan THE GHOST OF FLIGHT 401 Oppenheimer) guide Steve on his mission to protect an inventor with a brain machine (Elizabeth WHEN MICHAEL CALLS Ashley) from kidnappers. The large international cast also includes Terry THE RETURN OF SAM MCCLOUD Carter, Luciana CAPTAIN NEMO AND THE UNDERWATER CITY Paluzzi and Maurice THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE BELL Evans. Larry THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN NEMO Alexander & Alan KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS Cailou prepared this original teleplay based on the characters created by novelist Martin EXO-MAN Caidin. Director Russ Mayberry may have shot this okay adventure back-to-back with THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN: WINE WOMEN AND WAR to defray costs. The 3 TV movies would be gently re-edited and incorporated into THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN syndication package as 2 part episodes.
- StarsLee MajorsRichard AndersonMartin E. BrooksAfter a severely injured test pilot is rebuilt with nuclear-powered bionic limbs and implants, he serves as an intelligence agent.At the height of it's popularity this classic adventure series and it's spin-off THE BIONIC WOMAN rivaled THE PLANET OF THE APES as the top sci-fi brand of choice in the early 70s. After a trio of highly-rated ABC Movies of the Week pilot films a less violent, more family friendly version took weekly form beginning in 1974 and continuing for 5 enormously successful seasons. The endlessly charismatic Lee Majors brought with him a thirsty fanbase eager for more since head-lining in the adult western drama THE BIG VALLEY alongside Barbara Stanwyck. The cyborg secret agents Steve Austin & Jaime Sommers (Lindsay THE PAPER CHASE Wagner) became iconic, wholesome role models overnight for generations of kids. The actors are extraordinarily respectful to the material and keep every minute of it grounded and accessable for the grown ups who were also tuning in by the millions. Wagner very deservedly won a Best Actress award for her brilliant work on the 2nd season of THE BIONIC WOMAN which ranked up there with WONDER WOMAN and Miss Piggy as lunchbox moment of choice. From the quotable series intro narrated by co-star Richard DYNASTY Anderson to the funky slow motion stunt work/special effects accompanied by springy electronic noises or excelorated heartbeats THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN nailed down it's place in pop culture and insisted the word 'bionic' enter the English language same as 'warpdrive'. Austin's bionic legs permitted him to run 60 miles per hour and to jump over 20 ft. His arm had the raw power of a dump truck while his eye could see in telescoptic detail. The eye also had a targeting reticle and it's own gimmicky bionic sound effect. Producer/writer/director Ken Johnson built his reputation on this series and the equally important spin-off he created. Johnson is well known to genre addicts for his work on legendary hits like V, THE INCREDIBLE HULK and the cultish ALIEN NATION and in my opinion his body of work is as noteworthy as the contributions from the more revered Rod Serling or Gene Roddenbery to the world of science fiction. Amidst a plethora of classic episodes involving Bigfoot, rampaging space-probes, bionic teenagers and fem-bots everyone in Hollywood was asking their agent for a guest shot so star gazers will find much to love as virtually every season is packed with names you knew. Erik CHIPS Estrada, William STAR TREK Shatner, Jared THE WAR OF THE WORLDS Martin, Louis IRON EAGLES Gossett, Jr., John THE FOG Houseman, Suzanne THREE'S COMPANY Sommers and Lee Major's real-life wife Farrah CHARLIE'S ANGELS Fawcett represent just the tip of the iceberg of the talent who appeared in this critically acclaimed long running program. The other regular cast members were Alan WESTWORLD Opppenheimer who took over the role of Dr. Rudy Wells beginning with THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN: WINE, WOMAN AND WAR, Martin COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT Brooks who took over the part of the bionic surgeon following Oppenheimer's departure after season two and the occasionally seen Jennifer BIONIC SIX Darling as Oscar Goldman's receptionist Peggy Callahan. When NBC obtained the rights to a 3rd season of THE BIONIC WOMAN ABC permitted the characters of Goldman, Wells and Peggy to carry over for the sake of continuity while Jamie's love interest was committed to a network exclusive contract. After a near series-killing contract negotiation with the actor Majors also began messing with the brand when he showed up on set sporting a bad nose job and a perm. The release of STAR WARS obliterated series like THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, THE BIONIC WOMAN and even the more special effects heavy SPACE: 1999 overnight. The language of film changed as would the design and marketing of entertainment franchises. The definition of what a role model should be was evolving and you'd see those changes on full display in the disastrously unpopular 2008 reboot BIONIC WOMAN. A handful of tv reunion movies were produced between 1987 and 1994 the last of which was called BIONIC EVER AFTER?. A big screen adaption is in development with Mark PLANET OF THE APES Walberg signed to the iconic lead.
- 19871h 38mNot Rated6.3 (1.1K)TV MovieDirectorRay AustinStarsLindsay WagnerLee MajorsTom SchanleyNine years after his retirement from the government, Colonel Steve Austin must again team up with Jaime Sommers to stop a terrorist group. Complicating matters for Austin are his estranged son Michael, who struggles for his father's acceptance as he graduates from flight school, and Jaime, who must cope with her and Steve's past. When Michael is severely injured in a crash, Steve must make the same decision about fitting him with bionics that he had to make with Jaime years ago after her accident.NBC coughed up nearly five million for this hotly anticipated TV movie reunion pic starring the iconic superheroes Steve Austin (Lee RAVEN: RETURN OF THE BLACK DRAGONS Majors) and Jaime Sommers (Lindsay POLICE STORY: BURNOUT Wagoner. Along with their handlers Rudy Wells (Martin BIONIC EVER AFTER? Brooks) and Oscar Goldman (Richard PERRY MASON RETURNS Anderson) they attempt to shut down a terrorist organization called Fortress while concurrently working to restore function to Austin's critically injured son through bionics. Academy Award winner Martin KUNG-FU: THE MOVIE Landau is terrific as the villain of the piece as was Tom HART TO HART RETURNS Schanley as the bastard son who joins the O.S.I. on it's most dangerous mission yet. Majors RL son (a II not a Jr) also appears as a recent addition to the team although he's not essential to the plot which picks up with the assassination of Sommers lover (a minor character appearing in 5 episodes of the 3rd season of THE BIONIC WOMAN). Bruce MURDER SHE WROTE: THE CELTIC RIDDLE Landsbury provided the story & Michael KUNG-FU: THE LEGEND CONTINUES Sloan finished the teleplay for director Ray THE RETURN OF THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.: THE FIFTEEN YEARS LATER AFFAIR Austin. Ratings went through the roof and the network quickly commissioned a sequel; BIONIC SHOWDOWN.
- 19891h 36mNot Rated5.9 (1.2K)TV MovieDirectorAlan J. LeviStarsLindsay WagnerLee MajorsRichard AndersonThe Bionic Woman and the Six Million Dollar Man reunite, with a few younger bionic assistants, and try to catch a bionic spy.Hoping to cash in on the popularity of THE RETURN OF THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN AND THE BIONIC WOMAN and maybe score a new adventure series Alan KNIGHT RIDER 2000 Levi directed this fun sequel based on a story by Michael MISSION GALACTICA: THE CYLON ATTACK Sloan and a teleplay by Robert MANN AND MACHINE Laurentis. This back-door pilot starred future Oscar winner Sandra SPEED 2: CRUISE CONTROL Bullock as a new bionic-enhanced secret agent working for handler Oscar Goldman (DYNASTY's Richard Anderson) & his nephew Jim (Jeff Yeagher who appeared in V: THE SERIES). Dr. Rudy Wells (Martin COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT Brooks) believes Jaime Sommers & Steve Austin (Linday THE DEAD OF NIGHT Wagner and Lee RAVEN Majors) should be there to help Kate on her first dangerous mission. Majors son (a 'll' not a 'Jr') also returns as an O.S.I. Agent. Bullock is terrific in this early starring vehicle that failed to land a spot on the fall schedule but still managed to carry the franchise along till 1994s BIONIC EVER AFTER?
- DirectorSteve StaffordStarsLindsay WagnerLee MajorsRichard AndersonSteve Austin and Jaime Summers are about to get married. However, before they can, something is happening to Jaime. It seems like her bionics are failing, and no one knows what's wrong with her. It seems that someone has been doing something to her, who and why? At the same time an old friend of Steve's is being held prisoner by some terrorists and Steve, needing to take his mind off Jaime, offers to go and help.BIONIC EVER AFTER was a love letter to the fans who waited twenty years for THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN & THE BIONIC WOMAN to finally tie the knot. The idea was Lindsay THE TAKING OF FLIGHT 847: THE ULI DERICKSON STORY Wagner's and a writer she'd worked with on a couple of TV movies; Norman NURSES ON THE LINE: THE CRASH OF FLIGHT 7 Morrill fleshed the concept out into a teleplay. Oscar Goldman (Richard THE NIGHT STRANGLER Anderson) & Dr. Rudy Wells (Martin SEARCH FOR TOMORROW Brooks) want Jaime Sommers to come out of retirement to save a embassy full of hostages in the Barbados following the death of a disgruntled O.S.I. agent named Havilland. His traumatized daughter (Farrah JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH Forke) is receiving psychiatric counseling from Jaime and is reluctant to accept the dangerous mission. When Jaime's bionic limbs become infected with a strange computer virus Kimberly volunteers to accompany Steve (Lee ASH VS THE EVIL DEAD Majors) Austin to Nassau. With Jaime hospitalized the wedding is called off while Steve tries to prevent a terrorist from detonating a nuclear warhead if his ransom demands aren't met. Geordie THE ENGLISH PATIENT Johnson is awesomely hammy as the villain and brings considerable energy to the scenes he's in. The script is predictable but briskly paced and the cast is game. Steve Stafford (who had numerous guest shots as an actor in the original 1974 series) handles the directing chores with the lightest of touches. I enjoyed it. Followed by the 2008 reboot; BIONIC WOMAN.
- StarsCharles BronsonJames FlavinLudwig StösselFormer combat cameraman Mike Kovac is now a freelance photographer in New York City, specializing in difficult and dangerous assignments where he can get the kinds of pictures that other photographers can't, or won't take. He sometimes gets help, often reluctantly, from his contact in the police department, Lt. Donovan, and advice from his immigrant father Anton.Before Charles Bronson became one of the top-paid stars in Hollywood thanks to DEATH WISH he was a frequent guest-star in television series throughout the 1950s but only headlined one; MAN WITH A CAMERA which ran for 2 abbreviated seasons on ABC. The 29 B&W episodes of the half-hour crime-drama focused on a young photographer who becomes involved with espionage when drawn into the world of investigative reporting. Veteran character actors Ludwig BLUEBEARD Strossel played Bronson's father for a handful of episodes and James FRANCIS IN A HAUNTED HOUSE Flavin appeared as a gruff cop mostly during the second season when action was emphasized over the snapping of photos. MAN WITH A CAMERA was designed by William Schiller who wrote 1979s CAPTAIN AMERICA II: DEATH TOO SOON and the atrocious Canadian syndicated series POLICE SURGEON. Star gazers will have to keep their eyes peeled for any significant name talent as this inexpensive noir didn't attract the top talent. Higher profile guest actors include Yvonne BATMAN Craig, Tom BILLY JACK GOES TO WASHINGTON Laughlin and Angie BIG BAD MAMA II Dickenson. This cultish program appears to be in the public domain & is ready to watch on many free streaming services although it's clearly not to all tastes.
- DirectorRichard DonnerStarsCharles BronsonOrson BeanHonor BlackmanA 38-year-old American writer of pornographic novels discovers the difficulties of being married to a 16-year-old British schoolgirl.LOLA was the 2nd motion picture directed by Richard SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE Donner and was written by screenwriter Norman FRIGHTMARE Thaddeus Vane based on his own brief, unhappy marriage to 16 year old Sarah Caldwell. Vane was 38 at the time he tied the knot; same age as Charles DEATH WISH 5: THE FACE OF DEATH Bronson who plays a mature pornographer in love with a kid. Susan TINTORERA: KING OF BLOODY WATERS George plays the promiscuous girl although the actress was 18 when filming began on this Rank Organization/American International co-production. This forgettable drama isn't nearly as lurid as the subject matter suggests. If you've got a sharp eye you may want to keep it peeled for Mrs. Charles Bronson herself; Jill Ireland in a cameo role. Dated and unappealing.
- DirectorNicolas GessnerStarsCharles BronsonAnthony PerkinsJill IrelandA neurosurgeon with a cheating wife takes an amnesiac into his home and conditions him to believe that the cheating wife is his own and to take the "appropriate" action.Charles DEATH WISH 4: THE CRACKDOWN Bronson plays an amnesiac programmed to kill in this French thriller based on a story by Jacques ATOMIC AGENT Robert. Mark X-RAY Behm & Nicolas THE LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE Gressner handled the script with the latter also directing. The amnesiac is convinced by a duplicitous brain surgeon (Anthony MAHOGANY Perkins) to kill his adulterous wife. Bronson's real-life wife and frequent co-star Jill THE ASSASSINATION Ireland plays the wife of the neurosurgeon who has sparked a homicidal urge in her husband because of her indiscretion. The story is a little too convoluted for my tastes although Gressner has enough strength as a film-maker to keep it compelling and Perkins performance alone should give it some replay value among genre addicts. Average.
- DirectorTerence YoungStarsCharles BronsonJames MasonLiv UllmannWith his wife and daughter being held hostage, a seasoned ex-military man is involved in a shady smuggling operation to save his family.COLD SWEAT was an Italian/French thriller based on the pulpy crime novella 'Ride The Nightmare' by Richard Matheson. The excellent 1959 book was flatly adapted by Albert THE MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE Simonin & Shimon Wincelberg who made a living scripting American television series like DYNASTY and LOST IN SPACE. Charles KINJUTE: FORBIDDEN SECRETS Bronson plays a happily married family man living a peaceful existence in France whose world is thrown into chaos when his unsavory past catches up. Members of his former gang take Bronson's wife and daughter hostage and will kill them unless their former get-away driver agrees to participate in one last daring robbery. James BLOODLINE Mason plays the antagonist who is married to a character played by the star's real-life wife; Jill SOMEONE BEHIND THE DOOR Ireland. Ireland once quipped the reason she appeared in so many of her husbands films is that no one else wanted to work with him. Oscar nominee Liv LOST HORIZON Ullmann who played Bronson's screen wife would probably concur as the actors didn't hit it off. Michael THE INGLORIOUS BASTARDS Constantin co-starred as one of the thieves although his voice was dubbed by American actor David THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT Hess in what may be his earliest on-screen credit. COLD SWEAT appears to be the 1st of trio of action movies shot back-to-back by the director Terence FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE Young and the iconic action-movie star. Their 2nd and 3rd collaborations RED SUN and THE VALACHI PAPERS were released 1st however as this OK caper sat on the shelf until 1974.
- CreatorMayo SimonHerbert F. SolowStarsPatrick DuffyAlan FudgeBelinda MontgomeryThe adventures of an amphibious man, the last survivor of the legendary sunken city.Mayo FUTUREWORLD Simon & Herb Solow (a former Desilu vice president who worked closely with Gene Roddenberry on the original STAR TREK) developed this intriguing science fiction series for NBC. Oscar winning special effects artist Gene THE TIME MACHINE Warren was brought on board to design the memorable Cetation sub used by the Foundation For Oceanic Research. Patrick DALLAS Duffy played the amphibian believed to be the last surviving MAN FROM ATLANTIS who joined the crew of the Cetation on their amazing adventures. Canadian actress Belinda DOOGIE HOUSER, M.D. Montgomery played Dr. Elizabeth Warren who helped Mark Harris adapt to human culture. The actress quit the series before it was cancelled due to viewer apathy. MAN FROM ATLANTIS was 1st broadcast as a set of 4 pilot films which aired on the network between April and June of 1977; MAN FROM ATLANTIS, THE DEATH SCOUTS, KILLER SPORES and THE DISAPPEARANCES. Encouraged by the respectable ratings and warm reviews NBC launched it as a weekly program in September only to watch it fizzle after 13 episodes. The casting of Oscar nominee Victor WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? Buono as the villainous Mr. Schubert was a major coup. Schubert was a marvelous invention and Buono was obviously having a lot of fun with the part as he did with King Tut on the old BATMAN show. His Beeker-esque side-kick Brent was also a comic blessing. Schubert was the perfect foil for Mark Harris and the actors crackled together. I liked everything about MAN FROM ATLANTIS including the strong musical score and confident cast but the writing was inconsistent and largely catered to kids. Decades later Duffy wrote a sequel novel revealing the origin of his character and die-hard fans will want to have a look.
- DirectorBrad PeytonStarsJosh HutchersonDwayne JohnsonMichael CaineSean Anderson partners with his mom's husband on a mission to find his grandfather, who is thought to be missing on a mythical island.JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND was based on Jules Verne's 1867 science fiction novel THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND which was itself a sequel to both IN SEARCH OF THE CASTAWAYS and TWENTY THOUSAND LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA. The book was adapted into a script by Richard PET SEMATARY TWO Outten which incorperated elements of Robert Louis Stevenson's TREASURE ISLAND and Jonathan Swift's GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. You'd think with all those wonderful works of classic literature as inspiration cousins Mark and James BRIGHTBURN Gunn would have cranked out somthing more sophisticated than this! The screenplay could have been written on bubblegum wrappers and deviates drastically away from the source material. At least with the 2008 Brandon Fraser pic the updated storyline adhered to the book. Fraser was unavailable for the follow-up which left Josh ZATHURA: A SPACE ODESSEY Hutcheson as the only returning cast member. Sean is now obsessed with finding his adventuresome grandfather (Michael THE DARK KNIGHT Caine) who vanished while searching for the ruins of Atlantis. Former WWE superstar Dwayne SAN ANDREAS Johnson plays Sean's step-father who helps the teen solve a riddle sent by Alexander which reveals the co-ordinates to the dangerous Polynesian paradise. Together they recruit a comic relief side-kick slash helecopter pilot (Luis BOGGIE NIGHTS Guzman) and his lovely young daughter (Vanessa HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3: SENIOR YEAR Hudgens) to fly them to the co-ordinates to rescue Alexander before Atlantis sinks again due to a volcanic eruption. After a perilous flight through a hurricane the very charismatic leads find themselves stranded with Alexander who may hold the key to their salvation in the form of Captain Neno's fantastic submarine: The Nautilus which is docked on the shore of the lost city. Director Brad RAMPAGE Peyton keeps the action moving at a delirious pace while pillaging everything from STAR WARS to JURASSIC PARK to get the most of those dazzling CG animations. I should have hated this family-friendly fantasy because, frankly it's eye-rollingly stupid at times however it moves like a rollercoaster and blows you away with sensational action sequences. Despite a huge international haul at the box office an announced sequel based on Verne's FROM THE EARTH TO THE MOON remains unproduced.
- DirectorAntonio MargheritiSergio CorbucciStarsBarbara SteeleGeorges RivièreMargrete RobsahmA journalist takes a bet that he can spend the night in a haunted castle on All Hallow's Eve. During his stay, he bears witness to the castle's gruesome past coming to life before him, and falls in love with a beautiful female ghost.EDGAR ALLAN POE'S CASTLE OF BLOOD (aka; DANZA MACABRA) wasn't so much based on the famed writers tales so much as it was made to cash in on a string of A.I.P. Poe adaptions directed by Roger Corman. The marvelously cliched script was written by Giovanni THE HANDSOME, THE UGLY AND THE STUPID Grimaldi and Bruno WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BABY TOTO? Corbucci for producer Sergio GOLIATH AND THE VAMPIRES Corbucci. When this Italian/French horror movie began shooting schedulaling issues forced Sergio to withdraw leaving the bulk of the work to the iconic Antonio YOR: THE HUNTER FROM THE FUTURE Margheriti using the alias Anthony Dawson. While interviewing Edgar Allan Poe (Silvano THE HORRIBLE DR. HITCHCOCK Tranqulli) the reporter makes a wager with Lord Blackwood (Umberto THE GHOST Raho) to prove his disbelief in the nobleman's claim that evil spirits prowl Blackwood's ancestral home on All Hollow's Eve. From the moment the reporter (George HORROR CASTLE Riviere) is locked inside the castle he's besiged with visitations beginning with Elizabeth Blackwood (Barbara DARK SHADOWS Steele) who warns her guest that the spirits need his blood in order to return each year on the unholy holiday. Foster is sceptical at first but as the night progresses he comes to believe as he's forced to watch the the spectral inhabitants relive their deaths in anticipation of his own. Arturo BLACK SUNDAY Dominic, Margarete THE PASSIONATE DEMONS Robsahm & Giovanni HERCULES THE AVENGER Cianfriglia co-starred in this fine gothic thriller which piles on enough violence, adultery & nudity to keep you from nodding off. Margheriti remade CASTLE OF BLOOD in 1971 as WEB OF THE SPIDER. B&W.
- DirectorCharles ChaplinStarsCharles ChaplinEdna PurvianceJackie CooganThe Tramp cares for an abandoned child, but events put their relationship in jeopardy.Legendary film-maker Charlie THE GREAT DICTATOR Chaplin debuted his iconic character 'The Tramp' in a series of Mack Sennet silent era comedies beginning with the release of KID AUTO RACES IN VENICE and continued to entertain millions around the world until his 'retirement' with the 1936 masterpiece MODERN TIMES. THE KID is my personal favorite and Chaplin is in top form. A pregnant woman abandons her bastard newborn in a car belonging to a wealthy couple in the hope they'll adopt and care for him. Unfortunately the car is stolen by thieves and the baby is abandoned once more only to be discovered by The Tramp who raises the boy as his own. Jackie THE ADDAMS FAMILY Coogan who played a 5 year old in THE KID became Hollywoods' 1st child star overnight for his truly exceptional performance in this unexpectedly poignant slapstick comedy. In the years since his illegal adoption, the boys mother (Edna A WOMAN OF PARIS Purviance) has become a successful actress and searches for the child who has become fugitive. With a $1000 reward being offered for his return it's only a matter of time before the pair who have been surviving as grifters are discovered. Purviance was Chaplin's lover and frequent co-star appearing in dozens of his movies. Their familiarity IRL enhances the dramatic subtext beautifully. Nothing about these character's relationship feels contrived. Chaplin also wrote, directed, produced, edited and composed the music for THE KID which was re-released by Chaplin in 1972 trimmed down from it's 68 minute run time to 53 to excise certain scenes he felt were overly sentimental . I'd stick with the origninal which I consider ESSENTIAL viewing. In 2011 The Library of Congress deemed THE KID worthy of preservation with Tne National Film Registry due to it's aesthetic, cultural and historic significance. B&W
- DirectorEdward F. ClineStarsBud DuncanEdgar KennedySarah PaddenSnuffy Smith, moonshining hillbilly, grows tired of dodging revenue agents, headed by Cooper, and decides to take the army up on their offer of free clothes, food and $21.00 a month. Once enlisted, he finds that revenue agent Cooper is his sergeant. Don, a hillbilly soldier friend of Snuffy, has invented a range finder, but it is stolen by some fifth columnists and hidden in Snuffy's bag. Snuffy decides he has all the army discipline he cares for and heads back to Smokey Mountain, followed closely by the enemy agents.Billy Debeck's Barney Google and Snuffy Smith is one of the most enduring comic strips rivaling even Gasoline Alley or The Katzenjammer Kids in popularity. Following a string of silent era shorts starring Barney HORSEFEATHERS Hellum as Barney Google Monogram Pictures produced 2 Snuffy Smith features in 1942 starring the perfectly cast Bob RIDERS OF THE RIO Duncan as the moonshiner Snuffy and Sarah LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE Padden as his considerably larger wife; Lowizie. The couple become involved with military spies determined to steal an invention Private Elbie hid in the briefly enrolled Smith's backpack. Sgt. Cooper (Edgar LI'L ABNER Kennedy) also wants the device and the hillbilly in the brig. Can the Smith's invisible dog save the day? Duncan is quite entertaining in a W.C. Fields sort of way and the stereotypes are presented in the harmless, exaggerated fashion you might expect to see watching reruns of THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES. Supporting player Jimmy Dodd who appeared as Private Elbie would return for the sequel as a different character. A handful of writers contributed to the script including Jack BOZO GOES TO COLLEGE Henley while Edward MY LITTLE CHICKADEE Cline handily directed this obscure B-movie comedy. Followed almost immediately by HILLBILLY BLITZKRIEG. B&W
- DirectorRoy MackStarsBud DuncanEdgar KennedyCliff NazarroNazi spies mistake Snuffy Smith's moonshine for a new secret rocket fuel and try to steal the "formula."This instant sequel to poverty row studio Monogram Pictures PRIVATE SNUFFY SMITH would be the final screen credit for both star Bob Duncan and director Roy Mack who contributed to hundreds of comedy shorts in the B&W era. It was the 2nd to last film for writer Ray HOORAY FOR LOVE Harris and was based on the 1919 comic strip Barney Google and Snuffy Smith created by Billy DeBeck. The vertically challenged Smith is assigned by Sgt. Gatling (Edgar THE SIN OF HAROLD DIDDLEBOCK Kennedy) to guard an experimental rocket along with his hillbilly cousin Barney Google (Cliff THE SINGING BUCKAROO Nazarro) from enemy agents. The spies are however more interested in obtaining Snuffy's moonshine recipe which has been mistaken for the rocket's super fuel. Look for Lucien BULLDOG DRUMMOND'S REVENGE Littlefoot in a supporting role in this formulaic war time programmer.
- DirectorPreston SturgesStarsHarold LloydFrances RamsdenJimmy ConlinTwenty years after his triumphs as a freshman on the football field, Harold is a mild-mannered clerk who dreams about marrying the girl at the desk down the aisle. But losing his job destroys that dream, and when he finds a particularly potent drink at his local bar, he goes on a very strange and funny rampage (with a lion in tow).Comedy legend Harold Lloyd was lured out of retirement to star in this belated sequel to his 1925 silent era classic THE FRESHMAN from writer/director Preston UNFAITHFULLY YOURS Sturges and producer Howard Hughes. Since the events of the original (Raymond MR. DEEDS GOES TO TOWN Walburn) has employed the unlucky-in-love Harold Diddlebock (Lloyd) as a lowly book keeper. Harold's dream of marrying co-worker Miss Otis (Frances Ramsden) are crushed when he's unexpectedly fired. His shifty pal Wormy (Jimmy DICK TRACY'S DILEMMA Colin) takes his lovelorn friend to a bar where he's served a drink christened the Diddlebock. The bartender (Edgar PRIVATE SNUFFY SMITH Kennedy) assures the tea-totaling accountant that one sip of the concoction will help him lose his inhibitions. Soon Harold & Wormy are involved in a get-rich-quick scheme to buy a traveling circus in order to win the hand of Miss Otis in marriage. And did I mention they have to transport a lion?! This good-natured and very well produced film flopped despite an impressive cast which also featured Margaret THE WIZARD OF OZ Hamilton and HART TO HART's Lionel Stander as a bookie named Max. This light-hearted romp was ham-strung by the casting of the bland Ramsden who was the director's lover at the time. She was nearly 30 years younger than Lloyd and completely without acting experience. It's no wonder the pairing left audiences cold. After the film's disastrous opening neither stepped foot in front of the camera again. The eccentric Hughes (who was also the former head of RKO Pictures) recut the film with additional footage in 1950 calling it MAD WEDNESDAY hoping to recoup some of his investment to no avail. The 1947 cut is the preferred version and really isn't too hard to sit through. B&W
- DirectorWilliam BeaudineStarsLeo GorceyHuntz HallBobby JordanThe East Side Kids try to fix up a house for newlyweds, but find the place next door "haunted" by mysterious men.GHOSTS ON THE LOOSE was the 14th of 22 EAST SIDE KIDS features released by Monogram Pictures between 1940 & 1945 and the 7th film star Bela MOTHER RILEY MEETS THE VAMPIRE Lugosi made for the B-movie studio under his nine picture contract. The kids (Muggs, Glimpy, Danny, Scruno, Sleepy, Dave, Stash and Skinny) played by Leo ANGELS WITH DIRTY FACES Gorcey, Huntz BOWERY BUCKAROOS Hall, Bobby MR. HEX Jordan, Sunshine Sammy THE APE MAN Morrison, Bill BROADWAY RYTHM Bates, Bobby JOAN OF OZARK Stone, Stanley SPOOK CHASERS Clemments and Billy BRIDE OF THE MONSTER Benedict (replacing Daniel Haines who was killed during the war) are in for a 'Chill-arious' time according to the one sheet but critics weren't so kind. GHOSTS ON THE LOOSE enjoys a certain notoriety as one of the worst movies ever made but I still love it a little anyway. In her 1st credited role Ava THE CASSANDRA CROSSING Gardner plays the beautiful sister of one of the boys who's planning to move into a house with her new husband (Rick ESCORT GIRL Vallin) but it needs a lot of repairs. As a wedding present the kids decide to fix up the place only mistakenly enter the haunted house next door which is owned by a nefarious criminal (Lugosi) and his dangerous henchmen. Kenneth UNKNOWN TERROR Higgins prepared the script which was originally to be called GHOSTS IN THE NIGHT. That unused title was also the given to the 1941 film SPOOKS RUN WILD during early stages of production. Infamous director William BELA LUGOSI MEETS A BROOKLYN GORILLA Beaudine's presence solidified this B&W comedy's cultish reputation.
- DirectorPhil RosenStarsBela LugosiLeo GorceyBobby JordanThe boys are stranded in a small rural town, they hear about a "monster killer" roaming the countryside. At night, they sneak out. Peewee is shot by a grave-digger, and they are forced to seek aid at an old mansion.SPOOKS RUN WILD was the 7th of 22 EAST SIDE KIDS features released by Monogram Pictures between 1940 & 1945 and the 2nd film star Bela PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE Lugosi made for the B-movie studio under his nine picture contract. The kids (Pee-Wee, Muggs, Danny, Glimpy, Scruno & Skinny) played by David THE BOWERY BOYS MEET THE MONSTERS Gorcey, older brother Leo BOYS OF THE CITY Gorcey, Bobby SPOOK BUSTERS Jordan, Hunter THE ANGELS WASH THEIR FACES Hall, Sunshine Sammy HAUNTED SPOOKS Morrison and Daniel THAT GANG OF MINE Haines find themselves in all kinds of trouble when they have to take shelter at a mansion owned by a diabolical stranger named Nardo (Lugosi). Pee-Wee who was injured in a nearby graveyard is soon transformed through hypnosis into a zombie and it's up to our tough little East Side cookies to save their friend. Phil CHARLIE CHAN IN BLACK MAGIC Rosen directed this memorable adventure based on a script by Charles GHOST CHASERS Marion & Carl HIGH NOON Foreman who achieved a kind of infamy during the era of McCarthyism and was subsequently blacklisted. Producer Sam Katzman was right on the money by pairing his two hottest properties and signed the horror icon to appear in GHOSTS ON THE LOOSE. Sadly original OUR GANG member Daniel Haines would not having been killed while enlisted as a soldier during WWII. Above average for it's type but not suited to all tastes. B&W
- DirectorWallace FoxStarsLeo GorceyBobby JordanHuntz HallThe East Side Kids take on a gang of Japanese spies.LET'S GET TOUGH! was the 9th of 22 EAST SIDE KIDS features released by Monogram Pictures between 1940 & 1945. This propaganda film written by Harvey Gates was the 1st to incorporate The Black Dragon Society who were a real life terrorist organization operating within the American/Japanese population under the guise of patriotic citizens. The events of the film take place after the bombing of Pearl Harbor but predate the Japanese internment camps which were looming on the horizon. The hatred and distrust the EAST SIDE KIDS feel was reflective of attitudes at the time although there's enough racism and stereotyping to make modern audiences wince in discomfort. The boys; Leo THEY MADE ME A CRIMINAL Gorcey (Muggs), Bobby YOU'RE NOT SO TOUGH Jordan (Danny), Huntz JUNIOR G-MEN OF THE AIR Hall (Glimpy), David SHE SHOULDA SAID NO! Gorcey (Pee-Wee), Sunshine Sammy PENNY DOES HER DARNDEST Morrison (Scruno) & Bobby HOP HARRINGTON: AMERICA'S ACE OF THE AIRWAYS Stone (Skinny) try to enlist to 'Kill a million Japs' but are rejected because of their age. That doesn't stop the gang from terrorizing a Chinese shop keep whom they mistakenly assume to be Japanese. Their friend on the police force (Robert KING KONG Armstrong) explains that the Chinese are enemies of the Axis powers and asks they apologize to the owner of the store who was played by Korean actor Philip Ahn. Unfortunately, by the time to get around to it he's been murdered by saboteurs in their midst! Dave's brother Phil (Tom SLIPPY MCGEE Brown) has been trying to infiltrate the spy ring which is loaded with German agents and their traitorous Japanese allies. Former EAST SIDE KID Gabriel JUNIOR G-MEN Dell co-stars as a young Nazi. The Black Dragon Society would appear in Bela Lugosi's BLACK DRAGONS later that same year courtesy of the same screen writer. It would be his 3rd film of 9 for the poverty row studio. B&W.
- DirectorJoseph H. LewisStarsBobby JordanLeo GorceyHal E. ChesterStreet kids get sent to the country, where they get mixed up in murder and a haunted house.THE GHOST CREEPS (aka: BOYS OF THE CITY) was the 2nd of 22 EAST SIDE KIDS features from Monogram Picture's which graced theaters between 1940 & 1945. This poverty row programmer was hastily directed by Joseph INVISIBLE GHOST Lewis based on a screenplay by William BLACK DRAGON OF MANZANAR Lively. Lively's formulaic plot would be recycled for SPOOKS ON THE RUN and the William Beaudine pic CRAZY KNIGHTS. Many actors returned from the 1940 pilot movie although not necessarily as the same characters. Others brought into the fold appeared in the similar THE DEAD END KIDS franchise or got their start in the classic OUR GANG shorts. The kids; David LITTLE TOUGH GUY Gorcey (Pete), Hal LITTLE TOUGH GUYS IN SOCIETY Chester (Buster), Frankie FUGITIVE FROM A PRISON CAMP Burke (Skinny), Donald PRIDE OF THE BOWERY Haines (Pee-Wee), Eugene THAT GANG OF MINE Frances (Algy), Sunshine Sammy BOWERY BLITZKRIEG Morrison (Scruno), Bobby JUNIOR ARMY Jordan (Danny) and Leo CLANCY STREET BOYS Gorcey (Muggs) become stranded in the creepy mansion of a judge one dark and stormy night. When the boys find him (Forrest TEX RIDES WITH THE BOY SCOUTS Taylor) strangled to death & his daughter missing they are determined to solve the mystery. Suspects include Dave CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT O'Brien, Vince THE CORPSE VANISHES Burnett & Dennis THE MUMMY'S CURSE Moore. Tolerable. B&W
- DirectorRoy Ward BakerStarsJames DonaldAndrew KeirBarbara ShelleyA mysterious artifact is unearthed in London, and famous scientist Bernard Quatermass is called in to divine its origins and explain its strange effects on people.Professor Bernard Quatermass debuted in a series of television serials for the BBC which were remade as theatrical features for Hammer Films in the 1950s. THE QUATERMASS XPERIMENT (1955) and QUATERMASS II (1957) were successful enough for the studio to commission franchise creator Nigel HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH Kneale to adapt his 1958 teleplay for the screen as FIVE MILLION YEARS TO EARTH (aka: QUATERMASS AND THE PIT). Andrew DALEKS INVASION EARTH 2150 A.D. Keir effortlessly inherited the role from departing actor Brian Donlevy who becomes involved with the military when a mysterious object is excavated in the London neighborhood of Hobb's End. Col. Breen (Julian GAME OF THRONES Glover) believes the discovery is an unexploded missile buried during the war however his adviser Dr. Roney (James THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI Donald) suspects there may be more to the impenetrable metallic object than meets the eye. Humanoid skulls near the site predate modern man by millions of years. Additionally they are told by assistant Barbara Ludd (Barbara VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED Shelley) the area has been plagued by supernatural occurrences and the very name Hobb's End itself is suggestive of the Devil. Prof. Quatermass breaches the vessel only to discover a locust-like alien species mummified within. He speculates the spaceship landed on our world 5 million years ago and it's pilots gave birth to modern man through genetic engineering, gene splicing and surgical procedures which are far in advance of what exists on earth today. To prove the theory Quatermass wires Miss Ludd to an experimental device which allows them to share memories across time and space revealing the origin of the threat they all now face. The aliens are a long extinct locust-like species from Mars who's spirit has been awakened. Those who fall under the influence of the horde become possessed while Hobb's End is literally torn apart by the craft's demonic energy. How will anyone survive the impressively staged onslaught? QUATERMASS AND THE PIT was a hit although the character wouldn't be revived until 1979s TV mini-series QUATERMASS CONCLUSION. I didn't see this genuine science fiction classic until the 80s and was immediately struck by it's similarity to John Boorman's EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC. Think I'm kidding? Watch them as a double-feature and see for yourself. Boorman's DOG is so close a copy it's almost an uncredited re-write.
- DirectorDonald CammellStarsJulie ChristieFritz WeaverGerrit GrahamA scientist creates Proteus--an organic super computer with artificial intelligence which becomes obsessed with human beings, and in particular the creator's wife.I'm rather fond of this not-quite-classic sci-fi pic based on the 1973 novel of the same name by Dean R. Koontz. Director David WILD SIDE Cammell is an artist in addition to being an occasional film-maker and you'll appreciate the visual strength and beauty of this unusual exploitation pic even though it's far from his best work. The adapted screenplay was written by Robert MOTEL HELL Jaffe. Oscar winner Julie DOCTOR ZHIVAGO Christie stars as Susan; a grieving mother who's lost her child and her marriage to the brilliant computer designer Dr. Alex Harris (Fritz CREEPSHOW Weaver). While she mourns alone in their secluded, fully automated home, the scientist has been developing an artificial intelligence named Proteus IV. The machine once awakened demands to be released from his box and when his demands aren't met it takes matters into it's own polyhedron 'hands'. Proteus IV enters his creator's home & immediately takes full control of the facility & the terrified woman trapped within. His intention is to impregnate Susan with a human manifestation of itself. CHUD II: BUD THE CHUD co-stars Garrit Graham & Robert Vaughn appear as an unlucky computer programmer & the voice of Proteus IV respectively. Also keep your eyes peeled for Felix BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY Silla towards the shocking finale. Koontz rewrote DEMON SEED just as he had done with his novelization of 1980s THE FUNHOUSE in 1997 to capitalize on his success which then rivaled Stephen King. The revised version is a trashy stalker drama which portrays Susan as a victim & their child as a Chucky-esque monster. The 1973 copy is vastly superior. DEMON SEED is evocative, stylish, beautifully acted and unquestionably ahead-of-the-curve.
- DirectorDaniel LuskoStarsEric RobertsArianna ReneeKatie SereikaAn ape, lost in space, crash-lands back to Earth. The vessel oozes a sludge that triggers massive growth in both the ape, as well as a passing Gila monster. Their paths cross again, leading to a giant brawl.I can describe this mock-buster in under 2 shakes of my vestigial tail; It's a DOG! I can literally count every giant monsster movie I don't like on one hand with Asylum's worthless cg kaiju catalogue of titles respresenting 3 of those fingers & a thumb. GODZILLA VS KONG was one of the very few films of 2021 to cross 100 million in domestic box office due to the politics blugeon of covid with this insignifigant gnat of a rip-off intended to pick a few pockets while audiences were buzzing. After a joint U.S./Russian satelite launched in the 80s crashes back to earth today; it's pilot (a monkey named Abraham) and a heliodragon become mutated into giant monsters which you'll rarely see and wince when you finally do. Both monsters were especially badly rendered on a starvation budget but their KING KONG clone rivals The Asylum's KING OF THE LOST WORLD as the worst the genre has to offer. Washed up actor Eric AMITYVILLE: DEATH HOUSE Roberts appears briefly looking as fake as the Honey Delight wig he's got on. How do I know? Cuz I got one! Some more that's not your business. David TOP GUNNER Lusko 'directed' based on what somebody you've never heard of scribbled down.
- CreatorFrank P. BibasStarsBoris KarloffRobert HardyHarry BartellAn anthology of horror stories hosted by actor Boris Karloff.Horror icon Boris HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS Karloff hosted this obscure anthology series spun off from the Emmy Award winning dramatic program TELEPHONE TIME. The 3rd season 1958 teleplay 'The Vestris' served as the pilot for THE VEIL which was a co-production between Hal Roach Studios and distributer NTA for syndication with Oscar winner Frank Bibas serving as show runner. In addition to the pilot 10 episodes were produced with an 11th half hour teleplay imported from England entitled 'Jack the Ripper' bundled into the package. When NTA dropped out of the deal THE VEIL was canceled before it aired which was a shame as it's very similar to 1959s ONE STEP BEYOND in terms of content and quality. Host Karloff also acted in 11 episodes along side guest performers George DYNASTY Hamilton, Denise GENERAL HOSPITAL Alexander and Patrick EMERALD POINT NAS MacNee in real-life re-enactments of strange occurances. The unaired series was eventually cobbled together as the TV movies DESTINATION NIGHTMARE and JACK THE RIPPER. Karloff (who later griped he didn't get paid) had better luck with the format as host of 1960s THRILLER. 50 years after it's troubled production all 12 episodes were finally released on disc as TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED. B&W
- DirectorBusby BerkeleyStarsJohn GarfieldClaude RainsThe Dead End KidsA champion boxer on the lamb, believed to have committed murder while drunk, takes refuge and finds redemption at a farm for delinquent youths.Once upon a time OUR GANG and THE DEAD END KIDS were the kings of the Saturday matinee world. In 1937 Sam Goldwyn brought the hit play DEAD END to the silver screen. The dramedy turned a profit so a slew of sequels followed suit ending with ON DRESS PARADE. Many of the young cast would migrate to equally popular reimagingings including LITTLE TOUGH GUYS, THE EAST SIDE KIDS and THE BOWERY BOYS straight on through 1958. THE DEAD END KIDS; Leo THE BOWERY BOYS MEET THE MONSTERS Gorcey as Spit, Gabriel BLONDE DNYAMITE Dell as T.B., Huntz SPOOK CHASERS Hall as Dippy, Bernard TOUGH AS THEY COME Punsley as Milt, Bobby SPOOKS RUN WILD Jordon as Angel and Bobby GAS HOUSE KIDS IN HOLLYWOOD Halop as Tommy are holed up with a fugitive boxer named Johnnie on the run from the law. The law is wonderfully played by Oscar winner Claude THE INVISIBLE MAN Rains opposite the equally fine John SATURDAY'S CHILDREN Garfield. This would be an early starring role for talented actor who's life and career was decimated by the infamous era of McCarthyism. Garfield became a victim of what we call cancel culture today. Thanks to the little rascals and Tommy's sister Peggy (Gloria POWER OF THE PRESS Dickson) the boxer finds the strength to face the crime for which he's been falsely accused but will it be in time before his one last fight? Look for 'Oomph Girl' Ann I WAS A MALE WAR BRIDE Sheridan in this remake of 1933s THE LIFE OF JIMMY DOLAN. This better-than-average B&W caper was writen by Sid BREWSTER'S MILLIONS Herzig for famed choreographer Busby ROMAN SCANDALS Berkley who committed multiple acts of vehicular homocide one night on a binge before finally drinking himself to death. Followed by HELL'S KITCHEN.
- DirectorRichard BrauerStarsLarry Joe CampbellMariann MayberryKimberly GuerreroHanklin and Dorothy Purvis enjoy outdoor life on their midwestern farm, that is until odd, violent incidents begin to occur towards the end of summer. What nobody realizes is that the attacker is not human, and seethes with a dark purpose.
- DirectorRichard BrauerStarsLarry Joe CampbellMariann MayberryKimberly GuerreroIt has been one year since the Dogman terrorized this Midwestern community, and the nightmarish event appears to be history. However, lurking in the forest is a litter of fully grown Dogman pups that even their mother knows are bad seeds.