October Halloween Horrorfest 2015

Not very Leprechauny. No real need for Hornswoggle either as you can never tell the size of the monster. Already time to reboot the reboot.

Something is holding this one back. It's pretty good, has cool horror effects and even has John Waters. It definitely made me laugh. It has Kat Dennings. It's just missing that final oomph. Maybe it's the main character. Making movies is hard, making comedies is HARD. Still I recommend it for nice light horror and laughs. Ray Wise is a national treasure.

Yet another found footage insane asylum movie. This one is from Mexico. Doesn't help. No gore, horror, scares or anything other than a film crew wandering then running around inside a crappy building. Dark, shaky, incomprehensible.

Average slick Hollywood slasher movie. Not much in the way of boobs or gore. This would be better on TV with commercial breaks. This movie needed more Rumer Willis and less Brianna Evigan. Topless, of course.

Lame. This movie takes itself WAY too seriously. Blah blah blah Bob Loblaw.

Paul Scheer recommended this on the How Did This Get Made? podcast. It's a solid, competent, sort of creepy, mood movie. No gore or anything like that. It never gets bigger than itself. Definitely good for an October Halloween viewing.

Spanish horror...comedy? Standard slasher/horror. 10 deaths in an hour and many are quite creative. Some are hilarious. FULL of cliches but that seems to be the point. One head-wounded girl victim brings herself to climax by sticking her fingers in her brain. That is some weird, wild stuff. Recommended for Halloween horror.

Not so good. Looks cool, tries too hard to be campy. Paz de La Huerta is suing the filmmakers for $55 million for tanking her career with this movie. Hopefully she wins. She did get hit by an ambulance on set. And the unnecessary voiceover is clearly done by an entirely different actress to spite Paz. Not a good Halloween horror movie.

This is a bad, boring monster movie. A bunch of idiots hide in a house from a hungry creature. There is over an hour of bad dialogue, contrived drama and anything other than a hungry creature eating people. Finally in the last 10 minutes, the monster gets to kill nearly everyone...off screen, of course...usually accompanied by a PA throwing a bucketful of fake blood onto the ground. The fact that this was made for the Chiller channel explains the lack of gore and boobs.

This quote flashes onscreen at the beginning:

I'm not afraid of Werewolves or Vampires or Haunted Houses. I'm afraid of what real human beings do to other real human beings.(Walter Jon Williams).

Walter Jon Williams should be afraid of people making a movie this bad and forcing him to watch it. That is terrifying. This movie is not. It is terrible. And to add insult to injury, it's a "found footage" movie. So it's basically a home movie of these idiots visiting haunted houses. Avoid at all costs.

Pretentious, baffling and dull.Barely anything happens, horrorwise. No gore, 1 murder. NOT scary at all. If you like slow tracking shots of furniture or slow pans of power cords, you've found your movie. If you want to watch a Halloween horror movie, look elsewhere.

A ton of gore, a bunch of comedy. Martin has a buzzcut and looks like Tom Sizemore. Even though it is sequel that starts right after the first one, this is a very different movie from the first one. I prefer the first one, I'm sure others prefer this one. Perfectly acceptable gory Halloween fun, not very scary.

I'm sure you've seen or heard all about this one. I watched it again so I could listen to the How Did This Get Made? podcast epsiode where they discuss it. Pretty funny.

Be warned, this version on Netflix seems to be a TV version, with commercial fadeouts, bleeped out cusswords and little gore. Maybe there wasn't any to begin with and in 2000, smoking weed was probably enough for an r rating

I REALLY like the Dead Rising videogames. I liked this movie. Pretty good zombie movie. Gets a little long and slow in the middle. You don't have to have played the games to enjoy it. If you have played the games, you'll be happy with the little nods to the games throughout. Nice Halloween horror choice.

Blah blah blah. It could've been about Satan but noooooo. Devolves into a bad shaky cam footage movie, immediately nullifying any creepy scare factor it might have mustered up from the beginning. Also, everyone mispronounces the name Desjardins as "Day-Har-Deen". WTF. Skip it.

Looks good, has sex drugs and rock n roll, a psycho Catholic priest, excorcism, ouija board fun, demons, face ripping, nice gore and is fast paced. In other words, perfect Halloween viewing.

Grim ghost story. Pretty depressing. Looks gorgeous and has some creepy/scary horror/demons satanic themes. A bit of a police murder mystery going on as the main character is suspected of murdering his wife and dumping her in the canal. Good horror for October.

Not much to say about this film other than "Hell YEAH!".

Escaped Army experiment arrives in a small town and goes on a psychotic killing spree. More of an action flick but the climax takes place in a cool Halloween Maze/Haunted House at the local high school. Tons of violence and gore. Good October movie.

Pete has now murdered everyone in The League and has been going slowly crazy from a life with no friends and no League. He also is becoming very Andre-like with an undercurrent of Rafi. He hires a videographer from Craigslist to mess with his mind, since he killed everyone in The League and doesn't have anyone left to mess with. He puts on his best Andre when he meets him but unfortunately for our hapless videographer, Rafi is on the hunt for the thrilling murder-boner. This movie is a great ending to The League and a cautionary tale on the horrors of the cult of fantasy football.

Centers around Halloween so I thought I should check it out. Pretty good, standard ghost story with some nice cinematography. Then it tries to be much more than that. There is a portal to a nether world under the city that opens up on Halloween and nobody has noticed it before. If you just HAVE to see a Halloween movie with Nicolas Cage(like me), then see it. it's not a piece of crap, it's just confused. Otherwise, steer clear.

Sex, reptilians, satanists, meth dealers, rampant crime, gore, violence and boobies. A lot is packed into an hour and 10 minutes, most of it good. Enjoyable Halloween trash that's over before you know it.

Gore galore, although CGI headshots abound. Zombies, evil military goons, gore, telekenesis and action. There is a LOT going on in this movie and none of it bad. Definitely recommended horror viewing.

This movie sucks. Oddly enough, it ticks all the boxes for a good horror flick. Invincible killer, basement dungeons, gore, high body count. Unfortunately, it seems like it came from Making Horror Movies for Dummies. Also, it's boring as hell with terrible, overly long dramatic scenes and an interminable, depressing piano score. At any rate, do NOT watch this movie for Halloween fun. You have been warned.

Bad Building? More like bad MOVIE!

please forgive me

I can't even tell you how bad this movie sucks. You'll have to watch it and find out for yourself. I would not recommend you do this. As I said, this movie sucks, which is inexcusable given the "big" names who made it.

Low budget trash. Filled with psycho clowns, Halloween costumes and a good amount of gore. The budget holds this one back, but at least the'yre having fun making a Halloween themed gorefest. Might be fun for a Halloween movie night, but would be better with no sound. It's super low budg, a bit long and not a "good" movie really. BUT...

Wow! This movie starts right off with a flurry of violence, comedy and gore. Then it grinds to a halt and picks back up again for the last 20 minutes or so. Overall pretty enjoyable. Good Halloween trash.

There's a story being told here about demonic possession. What's the story? Your guess is as good as mine. Jumping timelines, multiple subplots a tad confusing. Not enough gore, demons, violece, scares or anything going on. It looks good though. I just want to see good Halloween horror. This ain't it.

3 metal detecting hobbyists go out for a weekend of fun metal detecting. Deep in the woods they find themselves caught in a standoff between an Alien invasion force and the British Military. Trapped behind enemy lines, they begin to seek out the truth. Sounds like a cool movie huh?

Unfortunately this is a FOUND FOOTAGE movie. So the realty is: 3 unfortunate actors wander around some cold dreary woods, improvising and looking miserable. The camerawork will shake your TV off it's stand...and absolutely nothing happens. No gore, no horror, no scares, no NOTHING!

Have a fun October and a happy Halloween. I'll watch this on the 31st.