The Worst Films of 2019

The Wind tries desperately to be a western hybrid of Director Roman Polanski's 1965 psychological horror classic, Repulsion, but between its excruciatingly painful pace and horrendously drab narration, all it ends up doing is repulse you barely five minutes into the film.

0.5/5 stars

When it's not being offensive toward animals and other physically weaker beings, or just plain nonchalant toward cruelty against them, Chinese film Crazy Alien walks the thin rope between a ludicrously over-the-top farce and an inanely puerile disaster. As the preposterous plot unfurls, you can only guess what asinine step the characters would take next. There's not even a vestige of entertainment here, but plenty that'll not only numb your sense, but also leave you utterly repulsed.

0.5/5 stars

The three aspects that primarily let Sye Raa Narasimha Reddy down are A. Sreekar Prasad's editing, Surender Reddy's direction, & the screenplay by Paruchuri Brothers (in that very order), which basically means that there's nothing left to redeem it. It also needed to be more about comprehending its eponymous unsung freedom fighter and less (a lot less) about glorifying Chiranjeevi. It also doesn't help one bit that the film's supporting cast, boasting actors to die for from myriad corners of the country, are reduced to mere footnotes in front of Chitanjeevi Garu's exaltation. Both the super-popular leading man and the makers completely forgot that there's a major difference between heroism (perfectly fine for entertainment) and deification (no excuse even for entertaining diehard fans of a cinematic icon). There's no two ways to put it, but Sye Raa is utter trash albeit the kind that makes it fall squarely in the realm of "so-bad-that-it's-good" filmmaking. Heck, the sheer level of absurdity on display could even lead it to being one of those cult films on which drinking games are orchestrated or to be watched when you're nice and high. Watch it strictly if you're a diehard fan of Megastar, which, too, may not be enough to enable you to bear his shenanigans.

0.5/5 stars

If this is what the majority of foreign critics think is the best horror film of the year, they really need to revisit the basics of what constitutes good or even half-decent filmmaking. Forget about being remotely scary or even interesting, Tigers are Not Afraid is just flat out incoherent, jumps from one distorted plot device to the next, is plagued by ill-defined characters, constitutes random scenes thrown together in the name of art, and uses vague references and abrupt moments in a feeble endeavor of manifesting a chilling atmosphere. The sum total of all this though is one soporific mess of a movie that's neither spooky enough to squeeze into the realm of outright horror — not even through the backdoor — nor deep enough to pass of for a profound human drama that uses horror as an undercurrent to make its point — it's what most critics felt this to be. However, this isn't one of those over-ambitious films where the writer and Director (both departments handles by Issa López here) chews off way more than what they can chew. This is just a plain, old case of bad filmmaking.

0.5/5 stars

Netflix's supposed Malaysian scary film, Munafik 2, is much less about the paranormal stuff and much more about Islamist whiewashing and shoving religious propaganda down our throats. Nothing remotely against Islam, but a film, much less a feature-length horror film, is no place to drive an agenda.

1/5 stars

The only sliver lining 4 Pagalpanti is that it boasts the ideal recipe to achieve the kind of cult status in later years, which perfectly fits in the 'so-bad-that-it's-good' mould. Anees Bazmee has made hitherto the worst film of his career — yes, even worse than No Problem and Sandwich. It almost seems that the clone of the filmmaker who made such enjoyable gems as Pyaar To Hona Hi Tha, Deewangee, No Entry, and Welcome called the shots this time around. There's insanely funny, there's insanely ridiculous, and then there's insanely atrocious films. When all else fails, it's time to play the last-resort deshbhakti card as the film jumps from atrocious comedy tp even more atrocious patriotic saga. The final nail is driven in Pagalpanti's coffin when Bazmee is reduced to lifting scenes from other comedy classics like Hungama and Dulhe Raja helmed by other filmmakers. There's a lot of laughter on offer while watching Pagalpanti. It's just that you'll be laughing at the film rather than with it, and we don't think that was the intention of the makers.

1/5 stars

Not as deceptive as it's disjointed. Not as controversial as it's caricaturish. Not as prejudiced as it's puerile. Not as bigoted as it's boring. The Accidental Prime Minister is not only a grievous accident in filmmaking, but it also gets its title awfully wrong. Sanjay Baru: The Untold Story would've been way more apt. The man is as self-obsessed as they come. To make matters worse, the film is besieged by one of the most jarring and mismatched background scores ever assembled in cinema. Avoid at all costs.

1/5 stars

Any actual soft-core porno or C-grade slasher is likely to be far more entertaining that this spoof of a soft-core porno/slasher hybrid. It had just two jobs: To offer unapologetic titillation and silly fun, and it fails miserably on both counts.

1/5 stars

Plotless, directionless, and senseless — Tamil film Jackpot does a great disservice to masala cinema, arming those who love to ridicule the genre with fresh ammunition while laying bare a poor example for the new generation of school-and-college going kids, who're steadily being influenced to move away from such films by myriad options both home-bred and foreign, theatrical or otherwise. For crying out loud, what were Jyothika, Revathi, and Suriya thinking while making this?

1.15/5 stars

Maybe it's a cultural thing or maybe it's just me, but the humor in Taiwanese film Secrets in the Hot Spring comes across as too random, loud, and incongruous, barely tickling our funny bone, which is a strict no-no for a horror comedy. What's worse is that the horror elements, too, don't do much to make up for the lack of comedy.

1.25/5 stars

Barring some stylishly choreographed action scenes, Vinaya Vidheya Rama is an exhausting watch, worn down by a plot that makes neither head nor tail, a screenplay strung together as an afterthought, and Boyapati Srinu's direction that has a displays a consistent knack of turning even the simplest of scenes into an incoherent mess. A sheer waste of Ram Charan's credible talent and the kind of masala filmmaking that gives the distinctly Indian genre a bad name, feeding detractors more fodder for dissing such movies.

1.25/5 stars

Swedish film Aniara is another classic case of an interesting concept getting lost under the weight of its own ambition and needless symbolism, made further problematic by direction so dreary and editing so incoherent that you'd wish to leave planet Earth long before the film's characters chart their trajectory to Mars.

1.25/5 stars

A lot of art-world jargon with very little focus on the horror, suspense, or thrills that the plot teases (barring a bit of intrigue at the halfway mark, which again makes way for more jargon). In fact, the arty-farty stuff is so informative that Velvet Buzzsaw could've easily passed off for a documentary on art galleries and the people involved with them. Neither a patch on writer-Director Dan Gilroy's 2014 masterpiece, Nightcrawler, nor as good as his worthy 2017 followup, Roman J. Israel, Esq. Even Jake Gyllenhaal, once again, giving it his best shot cannot save the day.

1.35/5 stars

Forget about the slipshod direction, absence of a semblance of a script, Prabhas' distracting Hindi diction, perpetually disjointed scenes, twists that can be seen from miles away, farcical setups and back-stories, or the blueprint of how not to edit a film; Saaho could've still worked as an over-the-top action film that doesn't take itself seriously had it contained precisely that: Over-the-top action. Unfathomably, the exorbitant 350-crore price tag seems to have been spent on exotic locations, an unending revolving wardrobe, and the fees of the lead pair because the action is thoroughly outdated to the point that films from the 70s and 80s have had more entertaining fight sequences.

To compound matters further, the CGI is so tacky that the VFX, which was built up as something extraordinary pre-release, looks nothing more than glorified, photoshopped images. Only Chunky Panday and his competent turn as a villain emerges unscathed from this bloated, over-hyped mess of a film, where even proven performers like Prabhas, Jackie Shroff, Mahesh Manjrekar, and Mandira Bedi appear to be sleepwalking through their roles. The makers should've realized that merely pumping money like water and casting a pan-India superstar whose last release broke all records in Indian cinema won't suffice in entertaining the masses, even more-forgiving ones. Saaho is by far one of the worst films of 2019, period!

1/5 stars (for Chunky Panday)

Forget all the other issues, for a movie assembled on the promise of big stunts, huge action set-pieces, and adrenaline-pumping moments (indicative of both the trailer and lead star), this Vidyut Jammwal starrer is exasperatingly derived of a single marquee action sequence or major stunt, and whatever we get in view of a few fight scenes is grossly underwhelming to even induce a modicum of excitement. If this is the case with the action, you'd expect the other aspects to come good. Alas, the bonding between Vidyut Jammwal and the elephants — the one factor that could've redeemed the film, barely strikes a chord, except for one or two scenes, where the entire credit goes to the pachyderms who are infinitely more expressive than 2-note Vidyut. The rest of the film hinges on a wafer-thin plot with glaring loopholes in the script and cardboard characters galore. Even the elephants, the best actors on display, can't save this jig in the jungle.

1.5/5 stars

Judgementall Hai Kya is completely muddled, the story and character arcs, are topsy-turvy, and the plot is all over the place. The film has no clue what it wants to be, where it wants to go, or how it wishes to reach there. Sometimes it's a character study on psychosis, at other moments it endeavors to be a twisty thriller, at other times it comes across as a darkly abstract film noir, and then, out of the blue it feels like being a psychedelic mosaic. They all intertwine into one big mess, none ever venturing close to any clarity of purpose. Also, for belonging to the so-called realistic school of Hindi cinema, the movie is riddled with loopholes and discrepancies, and the big twist it builds up to with such confidence can actually be seen from miles away, provided you're able to hold your attention after surviving the first half.

It's also ironical that writers and Directors who pride themselves on riding this new "Content-is-King" wave have to borrow several aspects from both foreign and older Indian films, hoping that they can pass it off as their own creation. The contradictory perspectives of a singular incident is lifted straight from Japanese auteur Akira Kurosawa's Rashomon (obviously with nothing close to the same effect) while the laughable big twist takes its inspiration from the classic Tamil thriller, Sigappu Rojakkal, which was later remade as the Rajesh Khanna starter, Red Rose (to name a few). So much for being content kings. Coming to the performances, a certain bug that keeps recurring throughout the film (again sans adequate reasoning or back-story) has more range and depth than the leading lady, who's now content with repeating the same schtick she's been doing since 2008's Fashion. It's really getting old now and her inadequacies are being seriously exposed before far superior and versatile contemporaries like Vidya Balan and Alia Bhatt.

Rajkummar Rao is the only reason why anyonw should watch Judgementall Hai Kya, and you wish there was more of him, though it almost seems like his part was cut short. Barring him and a handful of interesting elements, scattered over a barren vista of oblique vapidity, there's nothing to engage you in Judgementall Hai Kya. It's not even a classic case of too many cooks spoiling the broth because in this case, the broth was touched with myriad wrong ingredients to begin with.

1.5/5 stars

Sharkwater Extinction makes some valid points and the underwater shots surrounded by a variety of sharks are breathtaking, but beyond that, it's just another documentary that tries too hard to create a mountain out of a mole-hill and hammer home a flimsy point. Agreed, the poaching of sharks merely for their fins among other characteristics needs to stop, but such pertinence could've been highlighted without predilection toward blatant bias — it's far from adorable to give sharks a hug or stroke them as cuddly pets, even if all of their species aren't as prone to attack humans as The Great White.

Also, while illegal hunting dwindles their numbers, there's neither verified data nor actual evidence (unlike that of dolphins, whales, and seals) to corroborate that the situation is anywhere near as dire as the film makes it out to be — we are, after all, talking about a species that has evolved since prehistoric times and survived Ice Ages, and whose numbers are known to multiply expeditiously, not to mention being the most ferocious predator currently in existence and the only one that attacks humans wantonly, regardless of a threat being posed. Honestly, I think most of the glowing reviews from American critics for this one are down to its Director and marine conservationist, Rob Stewart, dying while filming it. All this makes Sharkwater Extinction a "very fishy" (pun intended) documentary that desperately endeavors to influence with a lot of "fancy" claims rather than "educate" with "facts". I'd still recommend all movie-buffs to watch it just to observe how not to be persuaded by agenda-driven documentaries, presenting half-truths.

1.5/5 stars (solely for those underwater shots)

Bombairiya comes across as a very confused film from the outset, trying to say too much, but conveying too little. Moreover, the novelty and smarts it attempts to show off aren't really all that novel nor smart as such topsy-turvy mysteries with ambiguous narrative arcs, shady characters, and multiple twists have been done by everyone from Guru Dutt, Raj Khosla, and Ramanand Sagar to Abbas-Mustan, Ram Gopal Varma, and Sriram Raghavan with far better efficacy and sans alienating a huge belt of the Indian audience, by deliberately endeavoring to cater to the urbane, English-speaking section of moviegoers residing in a selective part of the metros. And if we need to watch a sophisticated, metro-centric suspense film that's (largely) in English, there's tons of better options from Western shores. Even after leaving these problematic production decisions aside, the film fails to engage you for major portions while it goes about solving its mystery, and Pia Sukanya's direction coupled with Michael E. Ward's screenplay are so disjointed that they even make competent actors like Adil Hussain and Ravi Kishan look subpar. Barring some doses of dark humor and a handful of scenes where Radhika Apte gets to shine, there's little over here to hold your attention.

1.5/5 stars

The entire premise of Netflix's Marriage Story is based on Kramer vs. Kramer and some parts are also reminiscent of the Iranian film, A Separation, with the major difference being that the latter two films were entirely captivating while this is plain boooriiinggg...despite superlative performances from Scarlett Johansson, Adam Driver, Laura Dern, and RaybLiotta. It simply lacks the heart and soul for humans to connect with the humanity in the drama — well written by Noah Baumbach, but horrendously directed by him, and even more horrendously edited by Jennifer Lame — God alone knows what the brouhaha is all about. As for the the ever-reliable composer Randy Newman — it seems his services were completely ignored given how Baumbach seldom infuses his narrative with even a semblance of BGM, making his product all the more boring. Every year one soporific mess comes along during awards season that snares several nominations and possibly a collection of subsequent trophies because of how the foreign critics rave about it, only for it to be forgotten soon after — this year Marriage Story is that film.

1.5/5 stars (only for the performances)

Photograph is what happens when you take a sweet idea and stretch it for too long. The movie does boast a handful of good scenes, some of which even feature moments that leave a lasting impression. But a few engaging scenes and a drop of touching moments a good film do not make. Both the characters and the plot deteriorate into vague territory as the film moves forward, with several scenes (even a few of those brilliant moments) meeting an abrupt roadblock, jarringly moving onto the next. Compounding things further, is writer-Director Ritesh Batra's desire to make pseudo-intellectual statements about love and life, rather than focus on developing a relatable plot. For all his endeavor to weave a realistic romance, his script, characters, their motives, and decisions skirt unrealistic, irrational waters far too often. The excessive use of Gujarati also doesn't help.

It's credit then to both Nawaz and Sanya that despite all its flaws, they manage to switch Photograph from 'unwatchable' to 'barely watchable' territory. Sanya, in particular, is the heart and soul of the film, earnestly doing her best to steady proceedings during their myriad dips. She even towers over Nawaz (as good as always, but doesn't get a role as complex as his costar) in several scenes, presenting a blueprint of how to impeccably underplay a part when it's the need of the hour. If you must watch Photograph, watch it for Sanya and Sanya alone. Besides her (and Nawaz to an extent), there's nothing much to write home about.

1.5/5 stars

Sonchiriya serves as a blueprint of how to make a thoroughly pointless film, completely bereft of direction, narration, or cohesion. If you thought that it might reignite the long-forgotten sub-genre of Bollywood's dacoit-action films, then you've got another thing coming. The only thing this stumbling slumber accomploshes is in making a mockery of all those dacoit classics from an erstwhile era of Hindi cinema. A few decent, old-school styled action scenes hold your attention in bits and pieces, but that's about it.

1.5/5 stars

Korean thriller Svaha: The Sixth Finger is terribly slow, painfully boring, and atrociously disjointed, with random characters and plot elements cropping out of nowhere and disappearing again for no reason, which rob it of any semblance of suspense and horror that faintly register amidst the soporific mess.

1.5/5 stars

Though featuring an unprecedented concept like 'the butterfly effect' in Indian cinema; non-linear, parallel story arcs; and touching upon themes like racism, bullying, and woman empowerment, debutant Director K.M. Sarjun looks to have bitten off more than he can chew in Airaa as the varied complex plot points eventually get intertwined into a chaotic mess, with very little actual horror for a horror film. Lady Superstar Nayanthara is once again in brilliant form in a dual role, but despite her best efforts and a handful of genuinely scary scenes pre interval, this is one non-frightening, yawn-inducing Tamil horror flick at almost 140 minutes long.

1.5/5 stars

Besides being too dreary to make for a compelling action film, you've seen everything that transpires in The Bouncer (alternative title: Lukas) so many times before (and with far better results) that you can accurately guess how each scene will peter out, the moment the first frame of said scene appears. If action superstar Van Damme still yearns to kick butt on screen at his age, then, keeping his iconic status in mind, he needs to dish out better stuff (engaging enough for a decent action movie, even if they don't match up to some of his erstwhile classics) for his scores of fans (me included).

1.5/5 stars (only for JCVD still giving it his all)

It: Chapter Two is a classic case of bigger not always being better. There's a lot more happening here than 2017's It, there are several more monsters, the cast boats of A-listers, the scale is bigger, the CGI looks grander, and the budget is evidently larger. But all that constitutes to a film that bites off a lot, lot more than it can chew, juggles way, way more than it can handle, with the narrative being all over the place, Director Andy Muschietti and writer Gary Dauberman (who've curiously helmed and scripted the far superior first chapter) not having the first clue what to do with the license for a grander vision (they've butcher Stephen King's classic), and the incoherent plot devices — the only thing more random than the unconnected monsters popping up without notice — leaving us baffled and bewildered. Barring a handful of genuinely chilling scenes, and James McAvoy, Jessica Chastain, Bill Hader, and the rest of the ensemble cast giving it their all, this is a truly underwhelming horror film and a pale shadow of the first part.

1.5/5 stars

Pehlwaan is a pretty outdated masala film, replete with cliches, patriarchy, misogyny, & other forms of archaic elements that have been bid adieu by good, modern masala filmmakers, and frankly, were even not commonplace among decent masala fare (forget the iconic ones) from the 60s & 70s. It's a blast from the past albeit not the kind we'd like to remember, especially when the leading man doesn't seem 2 have made an effort and relies far too much on his swag, more so when u know how talented Kichcha Sudeepa actually is. The only sliver of silver lining is a welcome return to the big screen by Anna Suniel Shetty who gets both the film's best character and lines. However, it's too little to save this quasi-wrestling film from falling flat in the ring.

2/5 stars

The clue is in the title — watching Marjaavaan is like flirting with death. Abominations like Marjaavaan, whose sole reason for existing seem to be to torment us for all the wrong things we've done in life, do a great disservice to masala films all over (including Director Mialp Zaveri's highly entertaining Satyameva Jayate). At numerous junctures in the film, you'd be forced to ask yourself what was so bad that you've done to reach a point where you're compelled to watch this mountain of garbage.

Where do I even begin? With the one-line story that drags for an eternity or with the jarring background score (there's a thin line between adrenaline-pumping and jarring BGM) or the actors insisting on screaming every line till their lungs almost burst or every character appearing like a cardboard cutout from tons of erstwhile similar albeit better films or scenes that are so incredulously inane that you'd be forced to pinch yourself just to ensure that you're not having a nightmare in 'cuckoo land'? This isn't even Gunda or Clerk or MSG-esque so-bad-that-it's-good variety. This is just painfully bad. I highly recommend Marjaavaan though to all filmmaking students, especially those with a keen interested in hardcore commercial cinema. It's a blueprint in everything not to do while making such films.

1.5/5 stars

The only thing marvelous about Captain Marvel is how utterly rubbish the entire experience is. One-of-the-worst superhero movies ever and easily among the dullest, too — just made to serve as filler between Infinity War and Endgame. It's disjointed, the plot is all over the place, there are logical loopholes galore, and large parts of the film are painfully slow in places. The action scenes pass muster, but (barring a sequence involving the latest Avengers inductee squaring off against a bunch of ballistic missiles) nothing special for Marvel standards. Tickets will be bought only to see the mid-credit and end-credit scenes, one of which again is a major disappointment and reveals zilch. This one is nothing but a fast cash-grab from Marvel.

1.5/5 stars

As long as Indonesian horror-comedy Suzzanna: Burried Alive goes about setting up its premise, it suffices to be perfectly enjoyable, with adequate tension thrown in to keep you hooked. However, once the table is laid out, things spiral downhill expeditiously, with neither the horror nor the comedy remotely working. All you're left with is an onslaught of age-old cliches that test your patience to the limit and superfluous gore that's a completely bore sans an interesting narrative base to back up all the blood.

1.5/5 stars (just for the initial 20-25 minutes)

Barring a few genuine laughs, Korean film Extreme Job is one bumbling, tumbling mess of an attempted comedy spoof, with the gags coming across as too far-fetched, the punchlines being shouted from the rooftops, and any possibility of humor being sucked dry as potential funny scenes either get cut short way too soon or get dragged on for far too long. Whenever actors need to scream one-liners at the top of their voices and situations need to be extremely loud to convey humor, it generally is a strong indication of said humor falling flat due to weak writing and direction.

1.65/5 stars

The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then The Bigfoot should've been titled The Man Who Killed Hitler "Quite Easily" and Then The Bigfoot "even More Easily". I'm all for suspending disbelief when it comes to subversive, anything-goes kind of cinema (heck, Inglorious Basterds and Manmohan Desai's Bollywood masala flicks are among some of my favorite movies), but to pull it off, even moderately well, you need unflinching conviction in your subject and fervor to push the envelope into no-holds-barrrd territory. Alas, the only things this film decides to push the envelope for are its zany title and fancy artwork. Everything else about it transpires with drab convenience and very little energy. It's not a bad film as much as it's a dull one, lacking a lot in effort and vision. Even Sam Elliot's unwavering commitment to his character offers but rare moments of interest.

1.75/5 stars

Thackeray is a surprisingly faithful biopic for the most part and cinematically a very well made film, but it's also a very disgusting film in its essence and at its core — as communal, incendiary, and misguided as its eponymous character. The most disturbing aspect of the film is how it barely touches upon some of Bal Thackeray's redeeming qualities and glorifies all his despicable acts of with heroic justification.

1.75/5 stars