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- Tom Grayson, an engineer employed in Mexico, quarrels with some Greasers. When they plot to kill him, the plan is overheard by Lake, a promoter of worthless mines who scents an opportunity to make himself solid with the engineer. Accordingly the authorities are informed, and Tom is saved and Lake thereby wins Tom's friendship and regard. Back in the New England village, Judge Grayson, his wife, and their adopted daughter Cecelia make things as pleasant as possible for the little woman next door, who is socially ostracized by the village gossips because nothing is known of her former life and associates. When his work in Mexico is finished Tom returns home and thus meets the woman next door. Lake, hoping to obtain Tom's endorsement in a fraudulent mining venture, visits the Grayson's and one day is introduced to "Miss Ferguson." He acknowledges the introduction with a "Hello, Jenny." The little woman at first denies her identity and then finally admits that she is Jenny Gay, the former actress whose celebrated divorce suit was dragged through the mire of the yellow journals the year before. Tom, however, refuses to lose faith in her and she tells him her unfortunate history; how, when she was starring on Broadway, Lake had been an ardent suitor and had made life miserable with his persecutions. To escape him she married Ben Whittier, a wealthy banker, but found no happiness in the union, owing to her husband's fondness for Lake and his readiness to believe Lake's lies about her. Then Jenny told him of that night in the big hotel which formed the basis of Whittier's divorce proceedings; of how she had returned about midnight and gone to her room when Lake, who was secreted in a closet, suddenly stepped out. Before she could break from his grasp the door was pushed open and Whittier, with two detectives rushed in. After the sensational divorce, Jenny went to this quiet Connecticut town to seek peace and seclusion. At the conclusion of her narrative, they agree that the only thing to do is to wring a confession from Lake. This they plan to do. In the meantime, Tom's father, a retired lawyer, suspects Lake. With the aid of Federal authorities he is able to do this and on the day set, two secret service men arrive. That afternoon Jenny writes a note to Lake telling him that she has changed her mind about marrying him. Tom, Mr. Grayson and the detectives are hid in Jenny's house and, at the proper moment. Tom comes out and forces from Lake a statement of the framed-up divorce. When this is published, the announcement of the coming marriage of Tom Grayson and "the woman next door" is announced.
- Who has reared the perfect child? Who has successfully combated the destiny-shaping factors of heredity and environment with a theoretical code of child-raising warranted never to fail? Mrs. Gretchen Jans, mistress of millions, failed. Her two pretty nieces, Frances and Clarice were taught to sew and mend, economize and retrench, not alone in clothes and money but in thought and emotion as well. "Plug up the fountain of youth," was the harsh, Puritanical code of Gretchen Jans, and Frances paid the penalty with her heartaches. Hence, when Richard Ward fell in love with Frances and Mrs. Jans refused the parental blessing, the young couple did what most young couples do, set off post-haste for the nearest parsonage. And then into the life of Frances came the great change. A comfortable allowance didn't reach. Money ran like rays of sunshine in a golden stream through the fingers of both hands. Richard couldn't keep up the gait. Bills payable increased with a monotonous regularity only equaled by the decrease of his bills receivable. Credit weakened, the specter of poverty grinned through the office door and the riotous waste of the girl who had been denied continued unabated. And then came the second man with his offer of money and the trail of suffering and self-abasement that followed in its wake. It seemed all very innocent to Frances but it was tragedy to Richard.
- An adventurous young girl in Florida gets herself lost in the Everglades and finds terror and excitement, as well as the rivalry of two men in love with her.
- The true story of Lord Francis Hope, who inherits the Hope Diamond and marries showgirl May Yohe'. Lord Francis Hope gambles away the family fortune and May Yohe' leaves him--another suspected curse of owning the Hope Diamond.
- When Bill Fowler decided to wed wealthy widow Isabel Dare of Rye, New York, he gave a bachelor dinner. And the dinner degenerated into a quiet game with sugar for dice until Constable Zack arrived with sleuths galore and landed them everyone safe and sound in the local calaboose. So Christopher Cutting, Bill's friend "The Fixer" put his brain to work, chloroformed Zack and hustled Bill home in time for the wedding. Meantime, Isabel's daughter Dorothy bids her sweetheart Lieutenant Ned Hemmingway, U.S.A. a tearful good-bye; he was going away with William Fowler on a dangerous mission to Mexico. (Diplomat William Fowler and bridegroom Bill Fowler are two different people.) But that didn't deter Bill. He stole the identity of Wm. Fowler and when Constable Zack arrived Bill told his bride that Zack was a special messenger from the President come to escort him to Mexico. Zack escorted him to the calaboose and "The Fixer," fixed it again, this time with cash, not chloroform. One lie begets another. Bill couldn't go home so soon, so "The Fixer" found a scheme. They went to Mexico and sent letters home from Laredo telling of their thrilling adventures and their diplomatic triumphs. Unfortunately, they are captured by bandit general Gomez, and treated ignominiously. They escape and find the real Wm. Fowler is famous. Bill wires the folks back in Rye and they send him a telegram inviting him to a reception in his honor. Unhappily for Bill, the real William Fowler gets the invitation and accepts. Meantime Isabel receives word her former husband may be alive. The former husband looks like the real diplomat. When Bill arrives and gets the ovation the diplomat is left in the cold. Bill is dressed like a major general and no one believes the real agent who is plainly dressed. Isabel, seeing the agent, believes him her former husband and drops at his feet pleading for mercy. Bill sees her and challenges the agent, who accepts. In the course of the duel, "The Fixer" saves Bill by hitting the diplomat with a brick from behind. Isabel then discovers the absence of a birthmark which proves he is not her husband, and the party are faced by the problem of which is the real government agent. Lieutenant Hemingway settles the matter by persuading the diplomat to see Bill's predicament and he departs without disproving Bill. Lieutenant Ned and Dorothy embrace; Bill and Isabel are reconciled and Cutting gets what all good fixers get: nothing.
- The growing ambition of Julius Caesar is a source of major concern to his close friend Brutus. Cassius persuades him to participate in his plot to assassinate Caesar but they have both sorely underestimated Mark Antony.
- Harry Tremaine, a clean-living youth of twenty-one, spends his leisure hours in perfecting an aeroplane motor which he has invented and which he hopes will eventually make his fortune. In his ambition to make his mark in the world, he is encouraged by his mother's old friend, Mrs. Holbrook, to whose daughter, Alice, Harry has been engaged almost since childhood. One night, when Harry is working late at the office in which he is employed as bookkeeper, a telegram arrives for the manager of the concern. Harry learns that the manager is dining at the Café de Paris and takes the message to him there. Thus Harry is first brought in contact with the gay night life of New York. There, too, he first sees Betty Belgrave, a cabaret entertainer, and her dancing partner, Wilbur Lorimer. It is not long afterward that Harry Tremaine receives word that his father, who for a number of years has been leading a hermit's life in the mining country out west, has suddenly died. Still later he learns that instead of using the money which he had thought he was contributing to his father's support, the hermit had saved all of it, and in addition left him a fortune of nearly $200,000. Harry's first thought is that there is no longer any bar to the marriage of himself and Alice, and the wedding day is set. Circumstances again bring Harry into the sphere of Betty Belgrave and her dancing partner, this time as a bashful, awkward youth, but as a young man about town who has plenty of money to spend. The woman has little trouble in conquering Harry. The consequence is that with her wedding day approaching, Alice finds herself more and more neglected by her fiancé. Day by day she sees him less frequently and day by day he becomes more thoroughly enmeshed in Betty's net of fascinations. Finally, on New Year's Eve, comes a complete break between the engaged couple as the result of Harry's escapades. Then, after a few short weeks of riotous living, during which he spends money like water to gratify Betty's whims, and buys thousands of dollars' worth of worthless stocks offered by Wilbur, Harry suddenly awakens to the fact that he is "broke." Naturally, he is deserted by his gay friends, first of all by Betty and Wilbur the parasites. Unable to obtain employment, he is soon reduced to desperate straits. One day Harry calls upon his father's lawyer who gives him a letter left by the hermit "to be delivered to my son when he shall have dissipated his fortune." The letter explains that the father has foreseen the follies of the son and has provided "a way out." Harry is instructed to make his way to the hermit's cabin in the western wilds, and told that there he will find a solution of his problem. After many weeks of weary search, Harry finds the cabin. He is startled to find that from the ceiling of the hut there dangles a hangman's noose. This, then, is "the way out" promised. The shock of this discovery makes the boy a man. He resolves to go back to New York, to fight it out, to show his father's grim old ghost that Harry Tremaine is a man. In New York he rescues a little girl from drowning. She proves to be the daughter of a millionaire and the grateful father helps Harry in the latter's effort to interest capital in his aeroplane motor. A company is formed to manufacture the device, and some time later Harry is in possession of another fortune, but this time it is a fortune which he has earned. Betty learns of his new opulence and again tries to ensnare him, this time without success. In his environment, Harry finds his thoughts by day and his nightly dreams haunted by visions of the noose, that grim bequest left by his prophetic-souled old father. Finally he determines to go to the hut and destroy the noose, to gloat over the memory of his cruel legacy now that he has proved his father's estimate of him wrong. Once he finds himself in the cabin he taunts the memory of his father and then, in a burst of anger, tears the noose from the ceiling of the hut. To his surprise a shower of golden coins pours from the ragged hole thus made in the plaster above his head. In a moment his father's plan is clear to him; when discouraged, he should have tried to take his own life, this second fortune would have come to him. Chastened in spirit, he returns to the city. Again in New York, he learns that Alice is seriously ill. He hurries to her side and they are reunited. The last scenes show us their home some time later. We see them drive happily through the park in their splendid limousine, while from a park bench, Betty, now a derelict, sadly looks after them as the picture fades.
- Amy Cary, owner of a controlling interest in the Peoples Gas Company, of which her uncle, Peter Cary, is president, is practical but sentimental. It is indefinitely understood that she is engaged to marry Norman Van Aulsten, whose intriguing father is vice-president of the company. Van Aulsten, Sr., has secretly purchased worthless Suburban Lighting Company stock and plans to unload it at an exorbitant price on the People's Gas Company, depending on his son to induce Amy to vote approval of his plan. Amy goes to Trout Lake Camp to spend the summer, where she meets a chum, Helen Nelson, who invites her brother Bob, a young attorney, to join her. Young Van Aulsten also is a visitor, paying considerable attention to Amy Cary, but clandestinely making love to, and deceiving to the point of defiling, the daughter of Johnson, the camp guide. Amy's uncle, innocently falling into Van Aulsten's scheme to unload the worthless lighting company stock on the People's Gas Company, writes, asking Amy her opinion regarding it. Her reply brings him to the camp also, where he is quickly followed by Van Aulsten, Sr. Nelson fathoms Van Aulsten's intentions regarding the worthless stock, and also sees that Van Aulsten is depending on his son's marriage to Amy to further his machinations. He invokes the aid of his sister's sweetheart, who invites Amy to go for a row with him. She steps into the boat, Nelson quickly follows, leaving his willing friend ashore. Nelson talks plainly to Amy, telling her he is taking her to her uncle who has gone to a nearby island for a fishing trip, and that he purposes telling her uncle about Van Aulsten's scheme. He apparently arouses her ire by advising her not to marry young Van Aulsten. Arrived at the island they are surprised not to find Amy's uncle, who had returned to the camp for forgotten fishing tackle. The situation is tense when they discover that their boat has gone adrift. Meanwhile Amy's absence has occasioned alarm, and when Bob's friend tells of the proposed trip to the island, a rescue party is made up of Amy's uncle, Van Aulsten and his son. Arrived there they find Amy and Bob trying to prepare a belated meal. Nelson is asked to leave while her uncle and Van Aulsten urge Amy to get ready to got at once with them to the city, where a meeting of the Gas Company stockholders is scheduled the next day. Bob suspects their intentions, and promptly sets their boat adrift also. When this is discovered, there is general indignation in which Amy apparently joins. Bob is berated, but excites Amy's sentimental nature again when he takes to the water for a long, perilous swim, in an attempt to recover their boat. "Isn't he a hero?" she asks of young Van Aulsten. "I'd like to see you do anything as brave as that." The marooned party is finally rescued by Bob's relief expeditions and taken back to the camp, where, as they land, Johnson the guide, attempts to shoot young Van Aulsten. Amy prevents the tragedy, but scorns young Van Aulsten when she learns of his behavior toward Johnson's daughter. In rapid sequence, a happy termination of the situation is reached, but the bankrupt lighting company's stock is still on the market.
- Larry Brice and his friend Rolliston are suburbanites. Rolliston invites Larry to stay downtown with him and take in the cabarets which Larry, with a pang of misgiving, consents to do, 'phoning home the usual excuse about business. The two friends "do" the various roadhouses, acquiring liquid refreshments and sundry joys en route, winding up finally in a Long Island Palace of Joy. When the confetti-throwing stage is reached, Larry, with splendid aim, bounces a ball of serpentine off the bald head of excitable "Sammy," director of the Italian orchestra. With murder afore-thought, the sensitive musician follows the devious route of the paper missile, arriving at the table of the two friends where reconciliation, wine and spaghetti supplants manslaughter. Larry 'phones his wife, Hetty, that business continues to press, forgetting, however, to shut out the strains of music from the telephone booth. She goes to bed disgusted and some hours later hears her husband arrive with "Sammy" in tow, insisting that the latter take the guest's bedroom. Then Larry promptly falls asleep, awakes in time for the 7:46 and hurries to the office without telling Hetty of his new-found acquaintance. Meanwhile, Carrie, the maid, dirty, slangy, lazy and incompetent, finds the bed disordered, and lifting the covers, screams at the apparition of the sleeping Sammy. Hetty guesses the truth. Sammy forthwith takes his departure, but gets only to the street, where the small boys pelt him unmercifully. Sammy returns and refuses to budge until a suit of clothes is provided. And Hetty, with a wife's freedom, expresses herself clearly to Larry over the telephone, causing that gentleman to rush out. C.O.D. a suit of street clothes for Sammy. In the interim, the suffragette club meets at the Brice home. And then things happen rapidly. The carrier arrives with the clothes; the maid refuses to accept the C.O.D.; Sammy frantically pursues him, beats him up, takes the clothes and is in the act of stealing softly into the house when the suffragettes discover him. He is mauled by four husky women, the constable is called and Hetty again rushes to the rescue, explaining to her friends that Sammy is no burglar. With suggestively-raised eyebrows, the suffragettes march home, making divers and sundry remarks concerning Hetty's conduct. While that unfortunate young woman is carried half fainting to her room, the constable arrives and arrests Sammy. From this plight, Larry, who has just arrived home, saves him. Sammy insists upon staying for supper and Hetty announces the expected arrival of her mother. This causes Larry to hurry Sammy out of the house. They meet Rolliston and in his big racer make another night of it among the roadhouses. In the meantime little Mrs. Rolliston visits Hetty with the information that her husband is also missing, and suggests that Hetty take vengeance. To this end Mrs. Rolliston addresses a love note to Hetty, purporting to come from "Jack," and while concocting their plot are interrupted by the arrival of Larry and Sammy. Hetty slips into a clothes closet, while Mrs. Rolliston slips out of the door. The latter promptly tells her husband, who 'phones Larry of the proposed joke, but forgets to tell him of the letter. When Larry meets Hetty in the dining room, she drops the fake note and he, in a sudden fit of jealousy, creates a family row. Upstairs Sammy has found a pair of Larry's pajamas and goes into the guest's room where the apparition of mother-in-law in bed causes him to flee softly to the nearest room, which chances to be Larry's. That young man meanwhile has gone to Rolliston for an explanation of the note. Hetty, anxious to make up, goes to Larry's room, put her arms around him, and to her horror discovers Sammy. A few minutes later when Larry is returning from Rolliston's, he is made suddenly aware of a terrific racket from the upper bedrooms of his home. Fearing for his wife he rushes up the steps, only to find that Sammy had gotten into mother-in-law's room and had been dealt with in the approved fashion. This settles Sammy, who hurries back to his beloved Broadway, swearing that the commuter's life is no life for him.
- Norma Ellis is humiliated for five years by her husband, Dr. Hugh Ellis, who believes that no housewife is capable of handling household finances, and she finally rebels, proclaiming American women are more often regarded as bonds-women than wives, asks for a joint bank account. When her husband scoffs, Norma renounces all household duties. Ellis begins to acquiesce as the combined responsibilities become overwhelming. Meanwhile, his brother Ned, a cocaine addict, is attacked by a drug-crazed girl, who tries to blind him with acid. During Ned's lengthy surgery, performed by Ellis, Norma discovers that payment is due on a stock option that promises to make them rich. She borrows from David Power, a family friend who is trying to cure drug addiction. After Ned is stopped from getting more cocaine by Power, he tells the doctor that Power and Norma are having an affair. Ellis drives her and her baby away, but after Power cures Ned, he confesses his lie. The couple reconcile and open a joint account.
- Musty gets a job in a grocery store. A female customer makes him show her everything in the place, then buys a five-cent package of crackers. For revenge, Musty eats the artificial grapes on her hat. She catches him at it, throws a basket of apples in his face and leaves. Then a sissy-boy buys a ball of yarn for his knitting, and Musty, disgusted at the customer's effeminate qualities, puts a lit firecracker in the package, with startling results. He meets his match when a cowboy-desperado enters and forces him to give up half the contents of the store for five cents. Soon a drummer happens along. Musty advises the proprietor of the store not to buy from him. This awakens the drummer's ire and he throws a handful of crumpled crackers at Musty's face. Musty, however, has not been idle, and when the drummer puts on his hat to leave, he finds that Musty has filled it with milk. After the drummer's departure, Musty decides to have lunch. By mistake he fills his stomach with Tabasco sauce. Naturally he craves water. In trying to get a sprinkling can which is suspended from the ceiling, he pulls down ceiling and all and is consequently discharged. Leaving the grocery store, Musty goes to a barber shop for a shave where he is attended by the unconversational barber, who wears a gag for the protection of his patrons. Musty gets the shave, but the barber puts hair-restorer on his face instead of toilet water. When the barber learns that Musty has no money to pay for his services, an altercation ensues, during which the barber is arrested and Musty escapes. Musty next visits a thirst emporium. The proprietor chases a rough customer into the street, and Musty takes charge of the bar and free lunch counter. His attempts at serving free soup to a tough customer are disastrous, and he receives considerable rough handling. During his activities in the saloon he gets his beard saturated with gasoline, and when he gets too near the fire over which the free lunch is steaming an explosion occurs which causes him considerable discomfort, but which also rids him of the troublesome whiskers. Disgusted with his experiences, Musty goes his way.
- After a comfortable night's rest in a convenient henhouse, Musty and his friend Willie Work set out in search of adventure. They select a mansion with the intention of burglary, but a militant sawbuck frightens them away. They are summoned by Madame Cayenne, a jealously-guarded wife who promises them a fine lunch if they will mail a letter to her lover. They agree and the lunch is served. Just as they begin to eat, Monsieur Cayenne returns. Musty dives out of the second-floor window and hangs from the sill. Willie, who fails to escape, is introduced as Madame's brother from Kokomo, and royally entertained. The lunch is served to him alone, although he is loyal to his friend and makes numerous attempts to slip various dainties to Musty, who remains hanging by his hands from the sill. Willie particularly enjoys the nut course, and uses Musty's head to crack the shells. Even the water in the finger bowls appeals to him after he has flavored it with sugar and lemon. At last he takes his departure and goes to sleep on the lawn of the house in which he has been entertained. Morning comes and Willie wakes. He discovers that Musty has been hanging all night from a window only a few feet above the ground. The two of them set out together, but Willie spies a free lunch sign and decamps. Musty spies a beautiful maiden dressing in front of a window. The maiden, who is not so beautiful when she turns her face toward one, sees him peeping and hurls a water pitcher which strikes Musty on the head. Musty takes this as a gentle hint to leave, and so resumes his travels. Evening brings him to a lodging house, which advertises lodging for three cents and up. Musty enters and is given a resting place on a rope. The same rope is occupied by others whose snoring prevents our hero from slumbering. He complains to the attendant who induces sleep by hitting Musty over the head with a stuffed club. When the gentle dawn appears Musty makes his way into a private room, to escape the attendant who is putting everybody out in far from gentle fashion. Even here, however, he finds he cannot escape, for a pile-driver descends upon his head, knocking him into the exit chute, through which he is rushed into the street, where he collides with a laborer engaged in mixing mortar. The workman is precipitated into his own product, and hastily decamps.
- Travers Gladwin, a young millionaire, returns incognito from abroad with his Japanese servant, Bateato, after cabling his chum Whitney Barnes to meet him that evening at the Gladwin mansion. Al Wilson, a picture thief, arrives from Europe the same afternoon. He has obtained keys to the Gladwin mansion from a dismissed servant of Gladwin's and, parading under the other's name, wins the love of romantic Helen Burton with whom he plans to elope at ten thirty that night. Bateato goes to the mansion at once and excites the suspicions of Phelan, "Officer 666," whom he finally satisfies as to his identity. A few minutes later Whitney Barnes reaches the home, followed shortly after by Travers. This visit is interrupted by the arrival of Helen Burton and her friend, Sadie Small, and Helen explains that she intends that evening to elope with her sweetheart, Travers Gladwin. Amazed at first, Travers scents trouble and then pretends an intimate friendship with Gladwin. Barnes, under the influence of a brilliant idea, takes Sadie aside and advises that she tell her aunt of the proposed elopement. Both girls leave, promising to return at 10:30. Gladwin at once determines upon a plan, brings in "Officer 666," borrows his uniform and, sending Phelan to the kitchen with Bateato, goes into the street, where he purchases a false mustache and returns. Sadie and her aunt call and Gladwin hides, leaving Phelan and Barnes to face the music. After threatening to have them arrested, the two women leave in high dudgeon, the house is darkened and Barnes and Phelan go into the kitchen to entertain themselves in anticipation of Wilson's visit. Promptly at ten, Wilson slips into the house and begins cutting valuable oil paintings from their frames. He is surprised by the sudden appearance of Gladwin in Phelan's uniform and immediately puts the pseudo-policeman to work helping him pack the canvases. Helen arrives and does not recognize Gladwin in his false mustache and policeman's uniform, but when Wilson goes upstairs for a moment, Travers quickly explains the situation, advising Helen to be quiet to avoid scandal. In the meantime the excitable Japanese, Bateato, alarmed at the strange doings, brings a captain and two patrolmen toward the house. Phelan enters the parlor and demands the return of his uniform, explaining the matter to Wilson. Travers dares not tell the truth for fear of implicating Helen for whom he has already formed a strong attachment. Thus Wilson easily brands Gladwin as the real thief. Meantime at Phelan's approach, Helen hides herself in the hallway clothes closet. At this juncture the police enter with the Japanese and Phelan denounces Gladwin. The captain praised Phelan and sends him on his beat. The Japanese, seeing a door partly open, reaches in and drags Helen into the parlor. Barnes, attracted by the noise, enters from the kitchen and a patrolman promptly claps the handcuffs on that unfortunate gentleman, much to his subsequent misery and woe. Helen takes advantage of the confusion to slip into the closet. The situation is further complicated by the arrival of Sadie and her aunt with a half dozen policemen. One of them takes a long look at Wilson, recognizes him as an old offender and steps forward to arrest him. Instantly Wilson throws the room into darkness and jumps unseen into a large chest. The police scamper in all directions, leaving Gladwin alone in the parlor. A moment later Wilson emerges, revolver in hand, and exchanges some pleasantries with Gladwin, who for Helen's sake is anxious that the thief should escape. A fresh wagonload of police arrive and among them Phelan, who, seeing Galdwin at liberty in the parlor, promptly leaps upon him. The captain enters and upbraids Phelan and leaves with Gladwin to search the roof. Wilson takes advantage of the opportunity to step from behind the portieres, chloroform Phelan, don his uniform and toss him into the big chest. Then he calmly walks into the street, informs the wagon-driver that he is wanted inside by the captain, and coolly makes his escape on the driver's seat of the empty patrol. Meanwhile in the library Barnes, still handcuffed, after failing in his desperate effort to embrace Sadie, brings her into the parlor where Travers and Helen are engaged in rescuing the unhappy Phelan. And when Sadie makes a promise to Barnes and Helen to Travers, that wealthy young gentlemen makes another to Phelan, that uniform or no uniform there will always be a job waiting for "666."
- Musty holds down a job as bellboy at the Outside Inn. No guest calls for anything that Musty cannot supply. When one gentleman complains that the gas is leaking. Musty hangs a kettle on the fixture to catch it, for another, whose bed is too narrow, he provides first a saddle, and when this does not solve the problem, he has an inspiration and delivers a balancing pole to the discomforted patron. When a tragedian arrives after all the rooms are filled. Musty takes matters into his own hands and gives him the hall room on the second floor, previously occupied by the proprietor's favorite horse. Of course bellboys are merely human and thus prone to make occasional mistakes. Among Musty's errors was that of getting interested in a flirtation with an actress-guest and inadvertently stepping backward into the elevator shaft. The fall does not effect his efficiency, however, and when the tragedian complains that there is no steam in his room. Musty brings him ten cents' worth in a paper bag. He and the proprietor also figure out a novel way of conveying liquid refreshments to the tragedian's room via telephone. The tragedian and the actress finally start a rehearsal of a murder scene in the latter's room. Musty sees the struggle through the keyhole and summons the police and fire departments, to say nothing of ambulances, taxicabs, etc. As a result the guests come sliding down the trick staircase just in time to meet the entering police and firemen. When the situation is explained by the two ambitious thespians, Musty finds himself in wrong with all the world.
- Musty holds down a job as general factotum at the Busy Bee Amusement Arcade, one of his chief duties being that of taking tickets at the entrance to the moving stairway which leads to the cinema theater on the second floor. A "tough guy" slips Musty a milk ticket and starts up the stairway, but Musty proves himself equal to the occasion by reversing the escalator which causes the miscreant to lose his footing and make a hasty exit head over heels. The boss introduces Musty to Woof-Woof, the wild man, and Leonardo the Lion, who share a cage in the museum of the arcade. "If they get rough, slip 'em one of these magic crackers and they'll be as peaceful as two lambs," he informs Musty as he presents him with several of the wonderful bits of pastry. The boss departs and Musty hugely enjoys teasing the occupants of the cage. Then he passes on to a music box, which he succeeds in putting out of order. Woof-Woof and Leonardo, much peeved at the teasing Musty has given them, escape from the cage and chase the patrons and employees through the various rooms of the arcade until Musty subdues them with one of the magic crackers and lures them back into their cage. While cleaning the hat of a patron, Musty carelessly covers the headpiece, which is whirling on the electric drier, with shoe blacking instead of cleaner. The whirling drier covers the unfortunate patron from head to foot with the blacking. In this emergency Musty calls upon the Hindoo Spot Remover for aid. While trying to explain to the Hindoo how the accident occurred, he splatters the Indian's white robe with the remaining contents of the blacking bottle. Unperturbed, the Asiatic waves his magic handkerchief over the spots and they disappear. Musty seizes the handkerchief and hurries back to the disgruntled patron. He waves the handkerchief before the blacking-stained victim, and lo, the latter appears clad in a new suit of clothes. Flossie, the ticket-seller, attempts to steal a tune from the music box which Musty has broken, and finding it out of order hangs upon it a sign reading "Out of Order" and calls upon Musty for aid. Musty fixes it so well that it explodes. Then he hangs a sign reading "Now it is" beside the original sign of "Out of Order." The escalator or moving stairway is operated by power which the human dynamo generates by riding a stationary bicycle, and when the fat boy from the freak room steps on the slanting lift, the human dynamo breaks down. Musty has to oil him in order to start the escalator again. Later Musty takes his place but tiring of the work, uses a magic cracker to coax Leonardo the lion to ride the stationary wheel. Leonardo does beautifully until his tail catches in the mechanism, when Musty has to hurry to the rescue. Musty's boss sets him to operating the old prize package game in front of the box office, and Musty's spiel hugely interests a large crowd consisting of two children until the spieler spies a copper and beats a hasty retreat. Once more taking tickets at the escalator another "tough" tries to enter without the formality of presenting his credentials, but Musty once more proves equal to the occasion. He pulls the cord connecting with the trick doors at the head of the stairs, and the "tough" loses no time in "coming down."
- Upon Ruth McAllister's return with her father from a Western trip, John Gilbert calls to renew his attentions. He immediately notices a change in her and is greatly pained when she refuses him, not because she does not care for him but for reasons that she will not divulge. A stranger, in the meantime, calls, and rushing past the maid, stops breathlessly in the presence of Ruth and Gilbert. Astonished at the intrusion, Gilbert is more amazed when Ruth, seeing the intruder, faints. Asked to explain, the stranger tells Gilbert to ask Ruth. Regaining her composure, the stranger tells Ruth that he will not leave until he has had a talk with her, whereupon Gilbert, furious, is about to attack him as Professor McAllister enters. To Gilbert's surprise, Ruth introduces the stranger as Mr. Gerald, a friend whom she met while traveling and then excuses herself while the men chat about things in general. Upon the entrance of Wilkins, the butler, Gilbert is quick to discern the expression of fear that comes over the countenance of the stranger as a half smile curves the servant's lips, who, after making an unimportant announcement, retires. Then, with the excuse that some very important letters require his immediate attention, Gerald announces his intention to go, but the Professor, now suspicious, insists that he use his library for his correspondence. Alone in the library, Ruth enters and upbraids Gerald for coming to the house. He tells her that his life is in danger and begs her to help him escape. This she promises and leaves to call a taxicab. Dinner is announced and the Professor, opening the library door to call Gerald, is shocked to find him dead, and a green silken tassel, similar to those which adorn Ruth's cloak, clasped in his hand. Shortly after the arrival of the police, Ruth returns in the taxicab and entering the house, utters a shriek of laughter, not hysterical, but a laugh of savage joy, as she beholds the dead man. Questioned as to the man's identity, Ruth at first refuses to answer but finally admits that she had married him while in the West. With a strong case of circumstantial evidence against her, she is arrested and taken to headquarters, where she is held for trial on a charge of murder. Who Gerald really was and how the tangled skeins of destiny were finally unraveled make a charming, convincing and intensely interesting mystery story.
- "Al" Spencer, a gambler not averse to cheating, occupying an apartment with his wife and infant daughter, deserts his family after attacking and robbing a card-player a confederate had brought to his place. Living in the same building is Nancy Springer, a shoplifter whose thief husband is in jail awaiting trial. His attorney, anxious to create sympathy for his client, urges Nancy to borrow an infant and appear with it in court during her husband's trial. Mrs. Spencer innocently lends her baby; the ruse works, and Springer is acquitted. Nancy, going to return the baby to its mother, finds the woman dead, so she and her husband informally adopt the child, naming it Nell. Fifteen years elapse. Spencer, former gambler, now known as Albert Sprague, is prosperous in business and apparently reformed. He marries a wealthy widow with a young son. They reside on Long Island on a very pretentious estate. The Springers, attracted by Mrs. Sprague's display of gems and jewelry, plot to rob the Sprague residence. Leasing an adjoining estate, they soon are on friendly terms with their intended victims. Nell, now a clever thief, is purposely seized with illness while visiting at Sprague's and cannot be removed for several days, during which time it is planned that she shall steal the Sprague diamonds, pearls and jewelry. She falls in love with young Sprague, confesses to him that she is a thief. Her adopted parents learning of this, and knowing the police will investigate, boldly rob the Sprague residence. While doing this, Springer kills young Sprague and his mother dies of shock. The adopted daughter Nell is locked up, tried, and found guilty of complicity in the murder. A thief turns state's evidence, the Springers are caught, and through her statements Sprague learns that Nell is his own daughter whom he deserted when she was an infant. He works for her release, finally accomplishes it, then discloses to her his identity, but she spurns him. Eventually they are united.
- Musty has a terrible toothache, so off he goes to the dentist--an experience that turns out to be much more painful than the tooth itself.
- Book-lover Ethel Lee lives with her father in a little fishing village on the Jersey coast. Beside her books, her only pleasure is the occasional visit of old Cap'n Judson, who brings candies and tales of the big city about which she has often read and dreamed. Ethel's father, Bill Lee, anxious to get her off his hands, forces her to accept the uncouth attention of coarse fisherman Big Jake. At this time, Dick Harvey, the dissolute son of a millionaire ship-owner, arrives home one night more drunk than usual. His father's patience exhausted, he orders Dick to report for work at the docks. Dick reports to none other than Cap'n Judson, and goes off with the skipper, arriving at the fishing village the next day. There the Cap'n makes his customary call on Ethel and her father. Dick and Ethel meet. While the young people are getting interested in each other, old Lee angrily interrupts them, and warns Ethel that unless she marries Big Jake at once, he will drive her from the house. Dick listens in amazement, then tells her that as his wife she'll have the finery and see the sights of which she has dreamed. Ethel and Dick leave for the city to be married. In Dick's apartment, Ethel asks him about the marriage, and he goes out, ostensibly to fetch a parson. He meets his friends and they enjoy a joke and offer to act as minister and witness. The "marriage" performed, Dick's toy is speedily gowned in resplendent city finery. Old Bill Lee finds Ethel's parting message, and asks faithful Cap'n Judson to investigate. The skipper soon acquaints Dick's parents of the "elopement." There's a hurried meeting, a stormy scene, and Dick, professing repentance, promises to restore the girl to her father. Dick's bosom friend Rupert enters the apartment. Ethel recognizes the "witness" of the "wedding ceremony" and welcomes him. He comes to the point rapidly, tells the startled girl he loves her, and attempts to embrace her. When she reminds him she's his friend's wife, he tears the mask of illusion off and recites the tale of the mock marriage. This only enrages Ethel the more, and when Rupert makes another attempt to overcome her, a struggle takes place. Dick enters the scene and strikes the assailant to the ground. He recognizes "his best friend," and sees the hopeless shame on the face of his poor victim, whose devotion he has rewarded with fraud and dishonor. Guiltily, Dick admits the whole truth, and declares that he loves her with his whole soul in spite of the deception, as he really does by now. As an answer to her look of reproach, he rushes out to find a real minister, and hastens back to find that his poor dupe has flown from her gilded cage. Ethel tries vainly to seek her father's forgiveness. The old man drives his daughter from the house. She wanders to a rocky eminence overlooking the sea and prepares to cast herself into it. Dick, rightly guessing that his little prize has returned home, follows her. A hurried glance into her cottage convinces him that she has walked down to the seashore, and he arrives there just as she plunges into the angry waters. He takes the plunge immediately after her. There's a struggle in the water, the lives of both hang on a thread, but with grim determination Dick strikes hard for the shore, where he folds the half-drowned girl in his arms. The marriage ceremony is performed that day, and Ethel's interrupted dream comes true.
- Bickel plays straight, with a toupee, as Mr. Snyder who takes his family to the country so that his daughter will forget a certain suitor. The suitor follows. Then Bickel doubles as a comic tramp, with his natural bald dome.
- Mr. Carr is a kleptomaniac and his two daughters, Madge and Joan, are to be married to Mr. Cluney and Dr. Willoughby, respectively. Pretty Nell Jones, a light-fingered maid, is engaged that afternoon by Mrs. Carr after promising her sweetheart, Jack Doogan, a crook, that she will assist him to do one last job. Peculiar and mysterious things begin to happen in the Carr home with the arrival of the happy bridegrooms-to-be. A ruby suddenly disappears from the library table, into Nell's shoe, but the empty box is discovered by Cluney in his overcoat pocket a few minutes later. The family promptly suspects Nell, and Cluney telephones for a detective. While he is in the act of 'phoning, Nell slips the jewel back into the box where it is discovered by Mr. Carr just as Cluney lays down the 'phone. Cluney is stunned by the discovery and confides in Dr. Willoughby, who unsympathetically informs Cluney that he evidently suffers from unconscious kleptomania. The situation is further complicated by the arrival of Nell's sweetheart, Jack, whom she tells of the expected detective. This dignitary is met by Nell who, after deftly stripping him of star and watch, introduces him to Jack as Mr. Cluney. Jack sends him away on a mysterious mission and Nell then introduces Jack to the family as the detective from central headquarters. Cluney confides to him that he suspects himself of being a kleptomaniac and asks that Jack keep a close eye on him. Complications set in thick and fast. With two kleptomaniacs and two real crooks and a double wedding pending. Mrs. Carr has her hands full. Wedding presents disappear and reappear in the most astonishing way. A burly investor leaves $10,000 in steel stock as security for a loan and when he returns with cash to redeem his collateral, both stock and money disappear into Jack Doogan's pocket. This leads to the visit of a wagon-load of police but before the captain can read his search-warrant, even that vanishes through Doogan's nimble fingers into Mr. Carr's side pocket. Ever cocksure Dr. Willoughby shares the general hysteria and finds himself possessed of the stock securities but unable to replace them without openly branding himself a thief. The return of the detective adds a touch of drama to the evening. With an automobile liberally filled with movable valuables of all kinds ready for departure, Jack draws his gun and under its cover makes his escape, hurrying to the upper rooms of the building with faithful Nell at his heels. Believing him to have jumped through an open window, the police scatter out-of-doors and a second later Dr. Willoughby stops Jack and Nell in a hallway at the point of his revolver. This Jack deftly wrenches from the doctor's hand and again has the company at his mercy. But Nell longs for peace and the good-will of her erstwhile employers and so prevails upon Jack to throw away his gun. Then follow explanations and forgiveness. Jack shows his marriage license and the minister ends an exciting evening with a triple wedding.
- Musty Suffer gets a job as caddy, but performs so poorly that he doesn't hold it long. So he decides to tee off on his own account. He finds that the clubs are too small and calls upon his famous lucky horseshoe for aid, wishing for larger clubs. A fairy tramp appears and grants his wish. Even then his game is not satisfactory, but he solves the difficulty by wishing for a larger ball, which he gets. He knocks the ball into the clubhouse, ruining the club members' dinner, and later on gets into difficulties with a waiter, who breaks one of the clubs across his fat body. Stomach pains naturally result, and when Musty sees an advertisement offering free treatment and free board to hook-worm victims, he applies for treatment and gets it. And it is some treatment. He is mauled, pounded, beaten, pummeled, kicked, thrown about, walked upon and otherwise maltreated until the "hook-worm" is forced to give up the ghost. Then, after trapping the hands of his "doctors" in the viselike fingerprint machine. Musty appropriates one of the chief doctors' cigars and makes his departure.
- Danny Canavan, the big son of a tough Irish-American blacksmith, is actually not as tough as he looks--he's constantly abused by his wife, his scornful father and his father's employees. One day he is run over by a carriage owned by Rodman Cadbury, the president of an insurance company. Unable to work as a blacksmith anymore--something his wife constantly throws in his face--he gets a job on the subway as a flagman warning traffic of upcoming dynamite blasts. As menial as the job seems at first, it actually begins to change Danny's life.
- Musty Suffer, yearning earnestly for a quiet, easy and reposeful job, calls upon his faithful fairy to provide it for him. He is taken to an amusement arcade where he is hypnotized by one of the freaks in the show, provided with a gorgeous uniform in a jiffy and assigned to the job of ticket taker, chief janitor, boot black, "spieler," hat cleaner, target in a shooting gallery and superintendent of an escalator. In addition to these few duties Musty was assigned to run chores and entertain the freaks in the museum. Musty finds great pleasure in working the escalator leading to the moving picture theater but the "bouncing" of patrons who fail to go through the formality of buying tickets is one of his chief difficulties, but one which he overcomes promptly when he discovers the reverse action of the escalator. Musty also has several discouraging adventures with the wild man, the lion, the bearded lady, etc., which escape periodically from the museum or the menagerie, but meets each emergency in some ingenious way.
- Ethel Adams, the only daughter of a wealthy mother, reads of the adventures of a girl who disguises herself as a man and the exciting things that happen to her. The book greatly pleases Ethel, and she's still thinking about it when she chances to read in the paper of a clever crook, "The Spider," leaving a card with a spider engraved upon it behind him after each of his successful crimes. Ethel, who is of a somewhat mischievous disposition, starts to think of the fun of disguising herself as a man and committing robberies against some of his friends and making them believe "The Spider" did them. Of course, she intends to tell them the joke after a little and restore their property to them, then laugh at their discomfiture. While Ethel is revolving this plan in her mind, she sees coming toward her Jack Leslie, a young society amateur detective. Jack is very much in love with Ethel, but she thinks him conceited; she decides to start her scheme on him, thinking of how tricking him would shatter some of his self-satisfaction. A few days later, when Mrs. Adams gives a ball, Ethel is ready. During the evening Ethel's dear friend Miss Ames, one of her intended victims, goes into the garden with her lover. Mr. Harding. As they are in deep conversation, two hands steal out of the shrubbery and softly unclasp Miss Ames' handsome necklace, then disappear with the necklace in their grasp. A few moments later Miss Ames misses her necklace and at the time Harding discovers a card with the engraved spider upon it among the coils of Miss Ames' hair. There is great excitement over the robbery and everyone believes that it has been committed by "The Spider." Jack Leslie is asked to take charge of the case. While he is in his den that same night a sharp whistle sounds from the next room and, rushing in there, he finds all his silver piled in the center of his dining room table with a card from "The Spider" placed ironically on top. It is as if "The Spider" taunted Jack with the proof of how easily he could have stolen the silver and got safely away under Jack's very nose. Ethel is invited to Miss Ames' house for the weekend. Mr. Ames, the father, advertises a reward of $1,000 for the return of the necklace. He receives word that "The Spider'' will come to claim his reward at 12:00. Mr. Ames summons Jack and his daughter's sweetheart, as well as a police detective, who will wait outside the house and the three men determine to sit up in the room beside the safe in which the money is placed. Ethel waits until the house is quiet, then steals down, blows the fumes of a sleeping gas in through a keyhole, and captures the reward, leaving the pearls and "The Spider's" cards in the hands of the men. Waiting in the hall to hear the consternation of the men, Ethel is caught in the hall. Jack immediately phones the police that he has captured the famous crook, but he only inspires laughter.
- Bickel is an Italian who marries, then is supposed to be killed while trying to blow a safe. His wife marries his nephew and he enters their room at the hotel as a burglar.
- Things happen fast in the appropriately named town of While-U-Wait. Food, dry-cleaning, even marriage, all in minutes. Be very careful what you order.
- Musty steals a ride on an automobile rumble and falls sleep as comfortably as if he were in a Pullman berth. All goes well until the machine runs over a rock and Musty is cast to earth. He rises and hurls away the offending rock, which strikes the bandaged foot of a gouty passerby. Musty then calmly resumes his nap in the middle of the road, undisturbed by the passing autos, which miss him by inches. Dippy Mary arrives upon the scene, and struck by Musty's unnatural beauty, falls in love with him. The result is that she gives him free reign in her employer's mansion during the latter's absence. A waiter arrives with a splendid lunch, which Musty would have enjoyed hugely had not an expressman dropped a trunk on one of the upper floors, causing the plaster to fall from the ceiling onto the repast. Musty tips the waiter with a large, juicy pie, which he hurls into the face of the menial. A downy bed in the room tempts Musty. He climbs in and falls asleep. His slumber is punctuated with beautiful dreams, during which he bathes in a bath-tub full of beer and makes the acquaintance of several charming damsels. The dreams are disturbed, however, by the serenades of a "little Dutch band" and Musty is forced to drop water, pieces of furniture and various other missiles to persuade the serenaders to depart. Resuming his slumber, he dreams of a beautiful maid who tempts him with a bumper of sparkling wine. While pursuing the illusion, he falls out of the second-story window and bounds into a passing ambulance, in which he is whisked away.
- Mrs. O'Brien, newly rich, vainly aspires to social prominence, an ambition in which her common, chess-loving husband does not sympathize. Pretty Mary Ellen, the daughter, and a Japanese butler constitute the household. One day Mrs. O'Brien sends out invitations to a party which the Van Dusens and Van Astorbilts refuse to attend. While she is mourning this loss, an automobile breaks down in front of the house, and a slender young man who introduces himself as Lord Algernon Ste. Clair seeks refuge, while his car awaits the repairman. Mrs. O'Brien, scenting a noble match, promptly invites him to stay for the party. Meanwhile a rough-looking character alights from an automobile, and after a careful inspection of the house, rejoins his friends and disappears. An hour later, immaculately groomed, he enters the club of which O'Brien is a member, and finding the solitary old Irishman playing a lonesome game of chess, offers himself for partner. In this way he obtains an invitation to attend Mary Ellen's party, in due time the guests arrive, consisting of the good-hearted but illiterate Flanagans, their two children and the stranger. There immediately commences a vigorous suit for the hand of pretty Mary Ellen on the part of Lord Algy and the stranger. Mary Ellen shows her preference for the stranger. That night weird things happen. The stranger who has been invited to spend the night, slips into the library in time to see O'Brien much excited over the appearance of a white hand that has deftly poked through the portieres in search of the electric switch. In another instant the stranger throws O'Brien to the floor, and Lord Algy in hand, stands over them. There is a scuffle and the stranger disappears, gun in hand, through the French window. An hour later Lord Algy, in his room, cautiously draws a string of pearls from his pocket, only to turn and face the gun of the stranger, who raises his head from back of Lord Algy's bed. There follows explanations and the stranger shows his badge as a government secret service agent, long in search of the crook known as Lord Algy. O'Brien rejoices and Mary Ellen slips her hand into that of the "stranger's," while Mrs. O'Brien, thoroughly disgusted, hurls a volume of "Who's Who in Society" into the waste basket.
- Musty is enjoying a nap in the middle of a country road when along comes Silly Billy with his wheelbarrow full of hay. He loads Musty into his one-man-power pushmobile, covers him up with hay and resumes the journey. Pretty soon he passes a well and stops for a drink. While he is drinking, Musty awakens and departs. Billy refreshed by his draught, is very strong, and when he seizes the handles of his lightened vehicle, it flies into the air, descending upon the head of the unlucky Musty and completely knocking him out. Musty is discovered by some passing soldiers and interned as a suspicious character, but when he sees that his guards pass through the grating of his cell by merely bending aside the flexible bars, our noble young hero loses no time in making his escape. Tired of aimless wandering, Musty seats himself on a convenient stump and wishes for a good "soft" job. A fairy tramp suddenly appears before him and leads him to a huge signboard which announces that Dr. Hickory and Dr. Nut are looking for a refined young man as a subject in their experiments with the power of imagination. After mysteriously changing clothes with a tastily attired clothier's dummy, Musty gets the job. Dr. Hickory and Dr. Nut, assisted by their charming young lady helper, put Musty through a fine course of sprouts. He is seated before a splendid dinner, but when he turns his head the plates become empty as if by magic. The two doctors congratulate Musty on his splendid appetite. "You've eaten it all," they say, "Now drink," referring him to a punch howl which fills automatically with tempting liquid before his very eyes. He fills one small glass and sees the punch bowl empty. While gazing in wonder at the bowl, his glass changes to a flatiron, much to his disgust. He is put to bed and immediately awakened, told that he has slept twelve hours and that it is now time for breakfast. Delighted, he takes his place at the table and seizes a coffee pot which suddenly takes on the appearance of a live goose. He is then treated to an imaginary game of pool, in which be shows great dexterity, and a psychological sleigh ride, which amuses him hugely, but nearly freezes him to death. Then Dr. Hickey tells him he'll show him his future wife. His hair is carefully combed and he is hit over the head with a stuffed club. While he is semi-conscious the imagination specialists urge him to look through a pair of field glasses. Through the lenses he sees a vision of his old friend, Dippy Mary, busily engaged in massaging a lawn with curry comb and brush. Then Dr. Hickory hits him in the head with an axe, and when Musty awakes he finds himself in the road beside the shattered remains of Silly Billy's wheelbarrow.
- Musty visits the seashore, and takes upon himself the duty of sweeping the tide back from the beach. Suddenly a golden head is thrust up through the water and Musty decides the owner of this crown of glory must be either a mermaid or Nanette Spellerman. It proves to be the former, and Musty starts a flirtation. This is interrupted by the appearance of a fairy tramp, who magically clothes Musty in a sailors costume and causes a wonderful vessel sort of a cross between a Chinese junk and a hybrid galleon one-lunged motorboat, to appear. Musty assumes command of the ship. He visits the various decks and finally the engine room, where he finds the motive power is furnished by the engineer, who operates a sewing machine to which a crankshaft is attached. Musty goes on to the hold and nearly sinks the ship by opening a trap in the bottom of the craft. The Merry Sunshine Society takes its annual outing aboard Captain Musty's craft. Musty lights a fire in the galley stove to prepare tea, and one of the Merry Sunshiners on deck covers up the funnel to keep from breathing the smoke. The fumes are driven back into the galley, but Musty solves the difficulty with his magic smoke consumer. When those on deck complain that the party is short one cup and saucer, Musty dives overboard, comes up through the bottom of the ship and appears on deck with the crockery while the astonished sun culters are still looking over the rail waiting for him to come up. A moment later he suddenly bursts through a hatchway, upsetting one of his passengers and precipitating him into the briny. In trying to rescue his victim, Musty himself goes overboard and a general mix-up follows. The Sunshiners decide they have enough of Musty's cruiser, and while our hero is being dried by a blow-torch in the hands of the engineer, hail a passing rowboat and are restored to terra firma. Undismayed, Musty decides to fish. He seats himself comfortably on deck and casts his line. Hardly has it touched the water when the bait is seized and swallowed, hook and all, by a tremendous goofus fish. The sea monster starts to run. Musty holds on and the ship is dragged out to sea at a terrific rate of speed. The astounded engineer puts the reverse action on his sewing machine without result, the dreadnought continues on its wild dash toward the coast of Africa. Finally the craft runs upon a rock and Musty is thrown into the water. The last we see of him he is still being dragged headlong through the water.
- Musty holds down a job in Mole and Kittleton's dime museum. Musty seems to be the sole employee about the place, and whatever is called for by any of the patrons, he has to supply it. He is placed in charge of the cane rack, and of course, cheats so that the customers get no canes. One irascible old fellow complains to the manager, who upbraids Musty for his dishonesty. As soon as the customer leaves the manager congratulates himself on having so business-like an employee. While Musty is engaged in an innocent flirtation, a lad with a ten-foot arm approaches the rack and deliberately places rings over all the canes to which are attached the most handsome prizes. The boss is so incensed at Musty's carelessness that he forces him to stand up against the wall while he practices hatchet throwing, with Musty as the target. The idea of this pastime is to come as close to the target as possible without hitting, and the Boss's hatchet doesn't miss the target. The Arabian Knife Propeller appears on the scene and throws two dozen knives at Musty all at once. The blades stick in the wall so close to Musty as to form the outline of his anatomy against the background. Then Musty is called upon to operate the machine in the moving picture theater. He does so in a unique manner, having much trouble with the film, which insists upon unrolling, tying itself into knots, etc. Musty finds a way out which is satisfactory enough to him, but goes to sleep and the audience walks out after heaping their scorn upon the sleeper's head. Awakening, Musty feels the need of recreation and goes in for some more or less violent exercise with a punching bag. The results are not satisfactory, for in swinging at the bag, Musty collides with the boss, who has suddenly entered the room. His next occupation is "bally-hooing" to attract patrons to throw baseballs at the dodging figure. He gets along fairly well at this until a rough customer uses a brick instead of a ball, placing the poor Ethiopian hors de combat. When the boss complains that this is the fourth one he has lost in a single week and selects Musty to take his place, our hero faints.
- Musty goes for a day's fishing, but bites are scarce and he whiles away the time reading an exciting story entitled "The Bold, Bad Pirate." He goes to sleep sitting on the edge of a bridge and dreams of hidden treasure and dark deeds on the Spanish Main. He is awakened by a boat which passes under the bridge catching his feet and pulling him aboard the craft. The oarsman is highly indignant at Musty's unceremonious embarkation and lands him violently ashore. Musty is much impressed by his dream. He locates a spot which reminds him of the place where he buried a chest of gold in his dream and starts to dig for the hidden pieces of eight. He is interrupted by a cop, who arrests him. The cop calls the police patrol, a wheelbarrow affair, and Musty is trundled off to jail. Arraigned before the captain, he is given the third degree, but refuses to tell his secret. Finally, when confronted with a loaded cannon, Musty is alarmed by the sputtering of the fuse and tells his story. He is cast into a cell. Musty, like all model prisoners, awaits his opportunity to escape. He finds that his cot is very springy and by jumping on it succeeds in having himself hurled as if from a catapult through the roof. He makes himself a false mustache of grass and so passes the guard. He hurries to a costumer's for a disguise and after donning it hastens back to the place where he was digging in the street when arrested. No sooner has he started to dig when he is again arrested. He tries to get away, and cleverly induces his captors to get in the push patrol. Then he upsets it and runs, but collides with a telegraph pole, falls and is recaptured. In the station he breaks away from the cops again, hides by sitting on the captain's bench. He whacks the cops with the captain's gavel, placing them completely hors de combat, and once more is free. Musty goes back to the costumer's and rents a suit of armor, which he dons. No more is it upon his back, however, than his back begins to itch. What did King Arthur do in a case like this? We don't know, but the costumer found a way to relieve our hero. Musty then hurries back to his hole in the street, more determined than ever to find the hidden treasure. But, alas, that pestiferous copper is always on the job. Musty finds a way to get out of the armor without being seen and goes back to his digging. The copper, however, gets a great shock when the armor, in which he thinks Musty is still encased, suddenly comes to life and flees. After a long chase the officer regains possession of his cast steel captive and takes it to the station. Can openers, crowbars and other devices are employed to open the armor, but in vain. Finally one of the cops hits it with a sledge-hammer. It falls to pieces, revealing no one on the interior. Meanwhile Musty continues to dig. He breaks a water main and is caught in the deluge. This is the last straw and he gives up his treasure seeking in disgust.
- Prologue: John J. Haggleton is the oil king of the world. In his first years while fighting bitterly for success his methods are unscrupulous. His wife suffers as a result and learns to hate his dishonesty. One day, finding written proof of a plot to burn up the oil refinery of a competitor, she leaves him, taking her baby boy and the condemning documents. Lawrence, a competitor of Haggleton, shoots himself as a result of Haggleton's manipulations and another, Moran, ruined, falls into misery. Haggleton's wife dies in poverty, leaving her boy, Philip, in the care of a poor old man named Gentle, who brings him up under an assumed name so that the boy shall never know his father's name. Gentle keeps the documents incriminating Haggleton. The story proper opens in Moran's home. Moran, who is now working in a miserable East Side bakery with his daughter, Jenny, a woman of the streets who has been ruined by Lawrence's son, but who has reformed, is in love with Philip Ames, who is really the son of Haggleton. He in turn is in love, not with Jenny, but with Margaret Lawrence, daughter of the man who committed suicide. She is a nurse in a hospital. Haggleton comes to visit the tenement in which the Morans live and there meets his son, who is calling on Moran. Haggleton does not reveal his identity. He discovers through Gentle the identity of his son and of the hatred his son has been taught to bear against the oil king. Haggleton is struck by the boy's speeches and when shown the horrible conditions of the people living in the tenement, he offers to help them with money, but his son refuses the money, saying that a man in order to make charity effective must not merely hand money to poor people but must understand them as well. Haggleton, in an effort to win back his son, decides to try living as a laborer. He sends orders for his yacht to sail, spreading the rumor that he is on board for a long cruise. Then he starts life over in a tenement without a penny. Haggleton starts work as a kneader in Moran's bake-shop and after studying conditions begins to build up an electrical bakeshop, which will later become a real bread trust. As they prosper, the home of Moran becomes happier, but Moran, inflamed by socialistic ideas, spread about by a few bakers who are thrown out of work by the electrical machinery, nurses anarchistic hatred against men such as Haggleton who ruined him. He doesn't know, however, that Jackson is Haggleton. To this argument Haggleton explains to him that his bread trust may be hurting a few bakers, but benefits the whole East Side. Haggleton learns of the engagement of Philip with Margaret Lawrence. He tries to withhold this marriage as he has much greater plans in mind for his son, and in so doing discloses his real identity. Moran, infuriated, tries to shoot Haggleton, but Philip, who has learned to love him in the past months, stands between Moran and his father and receives the shot. He is taken to the Haggleton home on Fifth Avenue and nursed there by Margaret Lawrence. When his health is restored, Margaret announces her intention of leaving the house, for she thinks she can never bear to marry a son of the man who ruined her father. She is stubborn in her pride, but finally yields when Jenny comes to her and tells her that her own destroyer was none other than Margaret's brother. Margaret softens and henceforth Haggleton, Margaret and Philip devote their lives and huge fortune to the development of really useful charity.
- Musty Suffer's misadventures working as a delivery boy include delivering to a house where no one is home, suffering back pain and providing a card cheat with a getaway.
- Out of a job, Musty haunts the employment agency. The boss tells him that help is scarce these days, and that whatever anyone calls for, Musty will have to be it. In order to fit him for holding any job whatsoever, the boss turns him loose with a variety of costumes, and Musty proves his ability as a quick change artist. The boss receives a call from a fair client, who wants a maid, and Musty dons feminine regalia and answers the call. He gets the job. One of his first tasks is to go to the employment agency and get a butler for his new mistress. When he arrives at the agency the boss tells him he can be the butler, too. Musty changes to a butler's costume and goes back, but takes his maid's costume with him. Being both butler and maid in the same house, Musty has to move in lively fashion to keep on both jobs at once. Then, to make things worse, he is sent, in his capacity of butler, to hire a gardener. The employment agency boss gives Musty a third costume and another pair of false whiskers and sends him to hold down the third job in addition to the original two. Musty strides happily into the house when he suddenly catches sight of himself in the mirror. The result is almost fatal. One look at his own face bedecked in the false mustaches nearly finishes him, but he braces up and bravely sees the trouble through. In his capacity of maid, our hero is set to washing windows. The ladder on which he is standing falls through the window and Musty escapes a long fall only by hanging to the sill by his knees. His fair mistress rescues him and Musty sets to work to rescue the ladder. He drops a rope and calls upon an amiable entomologist for help. The entomologist leaves the butterfly he is chasing to come to Musty's aid. He ties the rope to the ladder and signals Musty to haul away. And Musty does, but the unfortunate bug expert gets his legs entangled in the ladder and is pulled upward, only to be lowered several times into a well-filled rain-barrel when Musty and his mistress, whom he has called upon for help, lose their grip upon the rope. Finally the victim is hauled into and through the house, and Musty attaches the rope to an automobile, which dashes off, dragging ladder, entomologist and, as a climax, Musty himself, who is caught in the mix-up as the picture fades.
- Roy Wilson, an ungovernable youth of fast habits, owes considerable gambling-debt money to Graham Madison, an architect of doubtful morals. Roy's father is a competing architect and his sister Jessie is the sweetheart of Carew, Wilson's chief consulting engineer. In addition to his gambling debts, Roy forms an attachment for Madison's mistress Cleo, which involves him more deeply with Madison. Both Wilson and Madison prepare to submit bids for an important railway contract, and Madison, after getting Roy well in his power, compels him on pain of exposure to steal his father's bid. That night Carew asks for Jessie's hand and is refused by Wilson on the grounds of Jessie's extreme youth. When the loss of the plans is discovered Wilson promptly accuses Carew and discharges him. Meanwhile, Roy travels at a fast pace with Cleo, of whom Madison, having gained his end, has tired. When the fastidious lady fancies an expensive necklace Roy, after trying unsuccessfully to borrow the money to purchase the necklace, rifles the wall safe in his father's library. Unluckily, Carew calls at this moment for a clandestine meeting with Jessie to show her a letter he had just received from Madison in which the letter offers him a position. In leaving the house Carew fails to take with him the envelope bearing Madison's name, and this is left on a table where Wilson finds it on his way upstairs to the library. The shock of the robbery kills the frail, old man, who falls to the floor with the envelope clutched tightly in his hand. This, coupled with the word of the butler who had seen Carew leaving the house, weaves a strong chain of circumstantial guilt. Immediately after the theft Roy hurries to Cleo's apartments and offers her the spoils of his shame. She divines the truth and indignantly sends him home. He arrives in the parlor a moment after Carew, who has been quickly apprehended and brought back. The knowledge of his father's death proves too much and Roy breaks down, confessing the whole story. The following day the law lays a heavy hand on Madison, and Carew and Jessie look hopefully forward to a better day.
- Musty hunts wild horses in the bad lands of New Jersey, and by putting salt on one's tail, he catches a fine specimen. He sells it to a farmer after recommending the animal as an educated horse. But the animal refuses to stay in the stable in which it is locked, and breaks away to join the fascinating Musty. Now that Musty has a horse he begins to have ambitions. He wishes for a cabby's suit and a nice sea-going hack, and behold, who suddenly appears but the fairy tramp, Musty's guardian genius. The fairy's wand causes the wished-for raiment and vehicle to become Musty's. At nightfall comes rest for the weary. Musty appropriates a stable over which is a room designed for human occupation. He retires in the latter, but awakens to find his trusty steed in bed with him. In answer to Musty's inquiries as to how he got there, the faithful animal shows how he rigged up a pulley with a plow for a counter-weight. He descends to the ground floor in the same way and Musty soon has him in the harness. Musty gets a slightly inebriated customer, whom he drives almost a quarter of a block to what he assumes is the customer's home. He carries him to the second floor, opens a door and pushes the customer through. The door, it seems, is a false door opening into space, and the customer falls to the ground. Consequently, when Musty comes out of the house he finds the man outside again. He repeats the operation several times, but finally becomes disgusted and hangs the alcoholic one on a telegraph pole, after accepting all his money as remuneration for his services. When the horse finally becomes mutinous and balky, Musty has a brilliant idea and builds a fire under him. The horse moves all right, but only far enough to draw the cab over the flames. Then he balks again. But Musty is undismayed. From the recesses of his cab he fishes a fireman's suit and a hose and extinguishes the blaze. The horse finally starts, and when Musty reaches a convenient point of observation, he mounts to the upper deck of his sea-going hack and sweeps the horizon through his spyglass. While he is thus occupied, a careless autoist strikes the cab, carrying vehicle, horse and all out from under Musty and leaving our hero hanging in a tree. Musty, however, has had the presence of mind to grab the wireless apparatus attached to the hack, and as the picture fades sends out the call of "S.O.S."
- The flirty proprietor of the Outside Inn catches his bellboy laughing at him and throws him into the street, just in time to be caught by Musty, who is passing by. When Musty learns that the bellboy has been discharged and that there is consequently a vacancy in the hotel organization, he drops him to the sidewalk, enters the inn and applies for the position. Proving himself the lightning bell-boy of the world, he is accepted. Musty soon learns that the grand stairway of the hotel is a trick staircase and that by pulling a lever the stairs will straighten out, converting the stairway into a chute. After descending the incline on his own account, he tries it out on various patrons with satisfactory results. The elevator, operated by hand power, sticks when a corpulent guest acts as cargo and a horse is commandeered to raise the lift. All goes well until a passing farmer inadvertently cuts the rope with his scythe. Then follows a vivid illustration of the descent of man. Musty plays many tricks on the proprietor and the guests, and enjoys waiting on the whims of an actress who stops at the hotel. He explains how the room is lightened by drawing a flame on the gas-jet painted on the wall, and darkened by erasing it. When the actress complains that there is no chair in her room, Musty obligingly paints one on the wall. After numerous amusing episodes, the reel ends in a general scramble, in which, of course Musty gets the worst of it.