Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989)
Matt Frewer: Big Russ Thompson
Photos
Quotes
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : When I was your age, I put on twenty pounds of pure unadulterated blitz-the-quarterback-and-rip-his-head-off muscle, Russell!
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Mae Thompson : [Russ nurses a head wound] You got it, honey.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Sure?
Mae Thompson : Positive. You're wiping away brain cells and there aren't many to spare.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Everybody in my family is a comedian.
Mae Thompson : Everybody except you.
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : The early worm catches the fish, Russell. Remember that.
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[after his talk with Don]
Mae Thompson : Did you tell him the truth?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : [smiles knowingly] Honey...
Mae Thompson : Did they take it okay?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Mae...
[Don honks the horn in 'goodbye' and drives off]
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : [furiously] 80 bucks, Mae! NON-refundable! Those kids are GROUNDED!
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : [about the Szalinskis] Weird family.
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[the Szalinskis and the Thompsons sit down to dinner with a super-enlarged turkey]
Wayne Szalinski : Well, I guess we gotta carve this thing, huh?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Oh, want to use my chainsaw?
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[after their visit with the Szalinskis]
Mae Thompson : I thought you didn't believe him.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Oh, I don't. Electricity's cheap.
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : [knowing about his kids missing] Don, uh, something's come up. I don't think we're gonna be able to make it. Maybe you better go on ahead.
Donald 'Don' Forrester : What - what do you mean you don't think you'll be able to make it? We're caravanning, good buddy.
Gloria Forrester : [about Wayne flying] Donald, I am telling...
Donald 'Don' Forrester : Not now, Gloria!
[to Russ, Sr]
Donald 'Don' Forrester : And besides, if you're not there by 6:00, you'll lose your deposit.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Confidentially... Mae hasn't been feeling too well - plumbing.
Donald 'Don' Forrester : Plumbing? This isn't the Big Russ Thompson I know. Plumbing would not stop the Big Russ Thompson I know. Especially with an $80 deposit on the line?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Don, hook a big on for me, okay?
[he puts his hand on Don's shoulder which takes off a fish hook accessory off the lifejacket until Russ, Sr. leaves]
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Don?
[Russ, Sr. does the fish gesture with his hand as Don does the same]
Gloria Forrester : Let's roll, Gloria. Come on, get in.
Donald 'Don' Forrester : What's wrong with him?
Donald 'Don' Forrester : Come on.
[Don then sees Wayne flying]
Donald 'Don' Forrester : Mm-hmm.
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[Wayne shows the Thompsons the shrunken furniture]
Mae Thompson : Why didn't you tell us earlier?
Diane Szalinski : Well, up until now, the machine just... blew things up.
Mae Thompson : Are you saying that that machine...?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Blew up my kids?
Diane Szalinski , Wayne Szalinski : No, no!
Wayne Szalinski : No, if the machine had blown up the kids, there'd be pieces of them everywhere...
Diane Szalinski : Wayne!
Wayne Szalinski : Sorry, but I'm positive about this. The machine shrunk our kids.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : You're the one who needs a shrink, Szalinski. You are a nut case. And I'll tell you something: I have got an air hammer in my attic, and if you did do something to my kids, there's gonna be pieces of you *all over the NEIGHBORHOOD*! Come on, Mae!
[he storms out of the house, dragging Mae after him]
Wayne Szalinski : I think that went well.
Diane Szalinski : I think we should have them over more often.
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Mae Thompson : How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Let me handle this. How did this happen?
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr. : Um, dad... You know that weights aren't my thing.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Fishing isn't your thing. Weights aren't your thing. Just what is your thing?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr. : I don't know. But I'll keep you posted okay?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Okay, in the meantime, you're trying these weights, and you're coming fishing with the family! IS THAT CLEAR? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Jr. : Yes sir.
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Ronald 'Ron' Thompson : Hey Szalinski, ever do anything normal? Like play baseball?
Nick Szalinski : Nope. Baseball is for mortals.
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson : Maybe you could be the base.
Nick Szalinski : Maybe you could be the mound.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Ronald, lug your stuff!
Ronald 'Ron' Thompson : Later, worm.
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Hey, Szalinski, your lawn's beginning to look like the Amazon.
Wayne Szalinski : Yeah, producing oxygen, Russ. We all have to do our part. You know how all the jungles are receding everywhere.
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Szalinski! Give it a rest! IT'S SATURDAY!
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Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : What do you take me for? A complete idiot?
[Wayne and Diane look at each other]
Mae Thompson : How did this happen?
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Hang on, Mae. I'll handle this. How did this happen?
Wayne Szalinski : Well, the machine analyzes an object's molecular structure; then through laser inversion, it takes all the...
Diane Szalinski : Wayne... I think the Thompsons need to see the couch.
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[Wayne and Diane are still searching for the kids until Diane hears and sees Big Russ and Mae in the kitchen arguing]
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : [about Little Russ] I didn't force him to join the team.
Mae Thompson : I know, but you always make a big deal out of sports.
Russell 'Russ' Thompson, Sr. : Because sports build character.
Mae Thompson : No, they don't! They build muscle. Russell, you've got to understand, these kids aren't you. They have their whole lives...
Diane Szalinski : Wayne?
Wayne Szalinski : Yeah?
Diane Szalinski : [lowly] We've got to tell the Thompsons.