- Sir Wilfrid: [getting progressively more agitated] The question is, Frau Helm, were you lying then, are you lying now, or are you not in fact a chronic and habitual LIAR!
- Sir Wilfrid: Give me a match.
- Leonard Vole: Sorry, I don't carry matches.
- Sir Wilfrid: [to Brogan-Moore] I thought you said I'd like him.
- Leonard Vole: But I do have a lighter.
- Sir Wilfrid: You're quite right, I do like him.
- Janet Mackensie: Perhaps you can help me, your Lordship. Six months, I have applied for my hearing aid and I am still waiting for it.
- Judge: My dear madame. Considering the rubbish that is being talked nowadays, you are missing very little.
- Sir Wilfrid: Would you like a cigar? Pardon me.
- [Takes cigar out of Mayhew's suit pocket]
- Inspector Hearne: That's very kind of you Sir Wilfrid.
- Sir Wilfrid: I better not, it would constitute a bribe.
- [Places cigar into his own suit pocket]
- [last lines]
- Miss Plimsoll: [hands Sir Wilfrid his thermos bottle] Sir Wilfrid, you've forgotten your brandy!
- [Miss Plimsoll discovers cigars hidden in Sir Wilfrid's cane]
- Sir Wilfrid: You could be jailed for that. You had no search warrant for my cane!
- Miss Plimsoll: Is there too much of a draught? Should I roll up the window?
- Sir Wilfrid: Just roll up your mouth, you talk too much. If I had known how much you talk I'd never have come out of my coma.
- Leonard Vole: But this is England, where I thought you never arrest, let alone convict, people for crimes they have not committed.
- Sir Wilfrid: We try not to make a habit of it.
- Leonard Vole: What are you looking for?
- Christine Vole: My accordion.
- Leonard Vole: [stepping on it] I think I've found it.
- Christine Vole: Step on it again. It's still breathing.
- Sir Wilfrid: I'd better take that thermos of cocoa with me. It helps me wash down down the pills.
- Miss Plimsoll: Let me see. My learned patient is not above substituting brandy for cocoa.
- [opens thermos and smells]
- Miss Plimsoll: Sniff, sniff. It is cocoa. So sorry.
- Sir Wilfrid: If you were a woman, Miss Plimsoll, I would strike you.
- Mayhew: She and her husband had lived abroad for many years in British Nigeria. He was in the colonial service. He died in '45 of a heart attack.
- Sir Wilfrid: Oh, please, Mayhew, not while I'm smoking.
- Miss Plimsoll: I almost married a lawyer once. I was in attendance when he had his appendectomy, and we became engaged as soon as he could sit up... and then peritonitis set in and he went just like that!
- Sir Wilfrid: He certainly was a lucky lawyer.
- Brogan-Moore: Touching isn't it? The way he counts on his wife.
- Sir Wilfrid: Yes, like a drowning man clutching at a razor blade.
- Miss Plimsoll: It's beddy-bye. We better go upstairs now, get undressed and lie down.
- Sir Wilfrid: We? What a nauseating prospect.
- Christine Vole: He is not my husband. Leonard and I went through a form of marriage in Hamburg, but, I had a husband living at the time somewhere in East Germany in the Russian zone.
- Sir Wilfrid: Did you tell Leonard?
- Christine Vole: I did not! It would have been stupid to tell him. He would not have married me and I would have been left behind to starve in the rubble.
- Brogan-Moore: But, he did marry you and brought you safely to this country. Don't you think you should be very grateful to him?
- Christine Vole: One can get very tired of gratitude.
- Sir Wilfrid: My Lord, may I also remind my learned friend that his witness, by her own admission, has already violated so many oaths that I am surprised the Testament did not LEAP FROM HER HAND when she was sworn here today! I doubt if anything is to be gained by questioning you any further! That will be all, Frau Helm!
- Miss Plimsoll: I shall have a very serious talk with Doctor Harrison. It was a mistake to let you come back here. I shall take you directly to a rest home or resort. Some place quiet, far off, like Bermuda.
- Sir Wilfrid: Shut up. You just want to see me in those nasty shorts.
- Miss Plimsoll: You know, I feel sorry for that nice Mr. Vole. And not just because he was arrested, but that wife of his, she must be German. I suppose that's what happens when we let our boys cross the Channel. They go crazy! Personally, I think the government should do something about those foreign wives. Like an embargo. How else can we take care of our own surplus. Don't you agree Sir Wilfrid?
- Sir Wilfrid: [to Brogan-Moore] Oh, pardon, Mrs. Vole, handle her gently especially when you break the news of the arrest. Bear in mind, she's a foreigner. So be prepared for hysterics and even a fainting spell. Better have smelling salts ready, a box of tissues and a nip of brandy.
- Christine Vole: [Enters Mrs. Vole] I do not think that will be necessary. I never faint because I'm not sure that I will fall gracefully and I never use smelling salts because they puff up the eyes. I'm Christine Vole.
- Christine Vole: You think Mrs. French looked upon Leonard as a son? Or a nephew?
- Brogan-Moore: I do. An entirely natural and understandable relationship.
- Christine Vole: What hypocrites you are in this country.
- Christine Vole: [shortly after Christine is attacked by soldiers] You better get out of here. You've been trouble enough.
- Leonard Vole: Actually, it's your own fault. That costume in the picture outside gave the boys ideas, and then those trousers of yours let them down hard.
- Christine Vole: It isn't even my letter paper! I write my letters on small, blue paper with my initials on it?
- Sir Wilfrid: Like these?
- [pulling out a sheaf of letters on blue paper]
- Christine Vole: Damn you! Damn you! Let me go! Let me get out of here!
- Miss Plimsoll: Teeny weeny flight of steps, Sir Wilfrid, we mustn't forget we've had a teeny weeny heart attack.
- Mrs. French: You know, maybe I'll take a glass of sherry, myself. I feel like Christmas, somehow. Ha-ha.
- [the jury is back]
- Brogan-Moore: You're not worried about the verdict?
- Sir Wilfrid: It's not their judgment that worries me, it's mine.
- Brogan-Moore: Chipper, isn't he? An hour ago, he had one foot on the gallows and the other on a banana peel. You ought to be very proud, Wilfrid. Aren't you?
- Sir Wilfrid: Not yet. We've disposed of the gallows, but there's still that banana peel somewhere, under somebody's foot.
- Sir Wilfrid: Your husband loves you very much, does he not?
- Christine Vole: Leonard? He worships the ground I walk on.
- Sir Wilfrid: And you?
- Christine Vole: You want to know too much. Auf wiedersehen, gentlemen.
- Christine Vole: [while applying lipstick] What a wicked woman I am, and how brilliantly you expose me!
- Christine Vole: Mr Mayhew described you as the champion of the hopeless cause. Is it perhaps that this cause is too hopeless?
- Brogan-Moore: Congratulations, here are your cigars.
- Sir Wilfrid: Not yet.
- Brogan-Moore: Come on, it's all over, wrapped up neat and tidy. What's wrong?
- Sir Wilfrid: It's a little too neat, too tidy, and altogether too symmetrical, that's what's wrong with it.