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Zui hou nu (1979)
'Eagle Claw is VERY dangerous, but I have my secret Kung Fu!!!'
Raised from infancy by apes, her natural ability for deadly Kung Fu is frequently the cause of flamboyant jackanapes! So, it is with great shame that I openly admit to having only just recently discovered the acrobatic antics of sultry simian sired Chop Socky siren Lady Iron Monkey! Where has she been all my Kung Fu-loving life? As the great poets so often claim, love can be found in the most unexpected of places! This pacy, enchantingly silly Kung Fu fantasy stars Kam Fong Ling, Chen Sing, Lo Lieh, Wong Tai Liang, and is fuelled by dynamite electro funk, fabulously acrobatic fights and a fearsomely feral protagonist you certainly don't want to monkey about with! Festooned with oddball characters, a consistently goofy vibe, and boisterously interspersed with playful episodes of broad slapstick tomfoolery. While I think it is entirely fair to say that the more noisome comedic interludes get lost in translation, on the whole, Lady Iron Monkey's jocular shenanigans are pretty fun! This magnificent monkey girl sets my heart in a whirl, a dazzling kung Fu pearl, heroically hirsute, button cute, a ready match for any bellicose brute, Lady Iron Monkey is a bona fide hoot!
Bei po (1977)
Objectively top-tier Brucesploitation.
Hugely affable HK action hunk, Bruce Li, and fiesty newbie Carl Scott make for a dynamically quad-fisted, thug-thrashing team in this heroically hectic, combat crazy Kung Fu spectacular! Soul Brothers of Kung Fu is a truly epic Brucesploitation brawler, and, happily, there's little in the way of a plot to dilute the street tough, skull shattering, solar plexus punishing action!!!! Excitingly choreographed fight sequences, super amplified Foley, minimal clowning, Bruce Li's Iron Finger'd insanity, righteous coming back from a near-fatal beating power-training, plus a bone-crunching final act make this some objectively top-tier Brucesploitation.
The Challenge (1970)
Darren McGavin is inspired casting as the gritty mercenary!
During an escalating conflict, in an attempt to avoid a present nuclear threat, two hardy combatants from the opposing nations are tasked to fight one another on a small, somewhat inhospitable pacific island. 'The Challenge' is another exemplary, compellingly acted, rewardingly cerebral, hard-hitting, 70s TV Sci-actioner. The Challenge has a fine cast: Darren McGavin, Mako, James Whitmore, Paul Lukas, Broderick Crawford, a young Sam Elliot, with leads, McGavin, and Mako proving wholly convincing. This gripping, agitprop ABC movie-of-the-week highlighting the innate futility of war has a robust narrative that remains entirely relevant to this very day. With the constant threat of jungle-borne malaise, booby traps, toxic water, sudden death by ambush, and military duplicity, the tension is relentless, as the two fatigued warriors reach the unjust, and inevitably nihilistic endgame.
The Girls of Huntington House (1973)
A truly deligthful TV drama!
I very much enjoyed this touching TV melodrama about a bustling maternity home for unwed, teenage mothers-to-be and their new, kindly, somewhat oversensitive English teacher Miss Baldwin (Shirley Jones). A well-written, soulful, thought-provoking story that is given additional zip by the quality of its believable performances. I must say, The Girls of Huntington House really does have an exemplary cast: Sissy Spacek, Mercedes McCambridge, Shirley Jones, and pretty Pamela Sue Martin. Unsurprisingly, the effervescent Spacek is quite lovely as the spirited folksy songbird Sarah. Earnest, quirky, saccharine-free, and pleasingly lachrymose at times, there's something about this vintage Lorimar production that I found curiously soothing.
Bu ze shou duan (1978)
highly-charged Dynamo remains some pretty electrifying old school 'Fu
One for avid Brucesploitation aficionados, and neophytes alike, and I think it is entirely fair to suggest that the snappy moniker is ably earned!! An honourable, fleet-fisted cabbie (Bruce Li) is groomed to stardom by an increasingly unscrupulous ad agency until they push him too far! Charismatic, preternaturally agile Kung Fu practitioner, Bruce Li is on dynamite form, and many of his whirlwind fight scenes are crisply choreographed with no lack of satisfyingly crunchy Foley! Right on!!!! The talky gubbinz of warring ad agencies provides an unwelcome distraction from Li's exciting, evermore devastating combat skills. I must openly admit to getting an additional frisson of 'Fu-freak-out pleasure whenever lighting swift, steel-sprung, head-knocking Dojo-destroying hero Li righteously don's the iconic yellow & black Game of Death tracksuit! Overall, Hwa I Hung's highly-charged Dynamo remains a pretty electrifying old school 'Fu extravaganza, the brusingly bellicose battles being frequently boosted by some killer funk riffs, and the strenuous training sequences are pretty dope. Bruce shows no fear in Korea, proves he's the No.1 man in Japan, delivers a dynamic display in the U. S. A., and never puts a foot wrong in Hong Kong!
Hauser's Memory (1970)
Once again, David McCallum delivers another outstanding performance
NBC's Hauser's Memory is a gripping, well-made Euro-Sci-spy thriller with Robert Webber, Lili Palmer, Leslie Nielsen, Susan Strasberg, with another compelling lead performance from the consistently excellent, David McCallum. A noted Scientist working with laboratory animals is asked to utilise his, as yet untested, procedure upon a human subject in order to transfer one deceased individual's memory into another living human subject. Needless to say, once the potent psychoactive serum has been administered, the pell-mell story provides a wealth of exciting, twist-laden incident. I simply can't get enough of these smart, well-acted, inventively written 70s TV movies! Anything but disposable entertainment, Hauser's Memory is a bustling hive of delicious intrigue, excitingly directed by the enormously experienced TV dramatist, Boris Sagal! The terse, increasingly sinister Cold War thriller is given additional production value by its handsome exterior location shots in Copenhagen, Berlin and beautifully baroque Prague.
The Swiss Conspiracy (1976)
German music maestro Klaus Doldinger's inhumanly funky score is a real banger!
Right off the bat, this (mostly) entertaining, glamour/glossy, visually appealing 70s Euro-thriller has a wealth of awesome Euro-cult credentials! Ably directed by B-Scion, Jack Arnold, and thrillingly framed against the alpine splendour of Switzerland, The Swiss Conspiracy is additionally bejewelled by some hefty thesping talent. Aggrieved clients of a highfalutin Swiss bank are being blackmailed, and sleepy/gruff alpha dude David Janssen is tasked to sleepily unmask these shady perpetrators. Like its somnolent star, the plot isn't exceptionally rigorous, yet the dazzling exterior locations are sublime, and the charismatic supporting cast provides a welcome distraction from the frequently undernourished text. My only gripe, and it is only a gripe-let, I feel that David Hess was greatly underused as a disposable rent-a-thug. That being said, scintillating siren, Senta Berger is distractingly luminous, and German music maestro Klaus Doldinger's inhumanly funky score is a real banger!
Meng long zheng dong (1975)
The wild, psychotronic Kung Fu dopeness herein is joyously off the dial!!!
The wild, psychotronic Kung Fu dopeness herein is joyously off the dial!!! Pallid, Ginger-nutted villains are after Dr. Tings revolutionary, petroleum-based food supplement, and bullet-fisted Bruce Li's Green Hornet must acrobatically prevent the formula falling into their wrongful hands! Bruce Lee Against Supermen has some good crunchy Foley, kinda like an enraged baboon snapping a fistful of frozen peanut brittles, and is excitingly fuelled by muscular guitar psychedelics! I maintain a healthy penchant for notable foot chases in cinema, there's a boffo one in the French Connection sequel, Seagal don't do no running, man!! And I can now add Bruce Lee Against Supermen to the vaunted pantheon. High points are this gallopingly goofy actioner's pronounced weirdosity, low points are the unsophisticated, mostly clunky combat. As ever, handsome hero, Bruce Li is affable, charismatic and fun to watch!!! Happily, the director saves the very best for last, as the climatic blood n' sinew battle is propah Bobby Dazzler!!!
Meng nan da zei yan zhi hu (1978)
'Pulling a big one draws a lot more heat!' Right on!!!!
Another perky, perpetually punch-packed, kick-crazy, eagle-fisted example of gonzoid Brucesploitation with powerhouse Bruce Li. Goofy dubbing, crash zooms, soothingly muffled Foley, pirated film themes, Bolo Yeung, crude editing, and Bruce Lee's agent going Gung Ho after a criminal counterfeiting gang. To give the director credit, a great number of the energetic fight scenes are enticingly fleet, and well choreographed. 'Storming Attacks', while low budget, is one of the more demonstratively hard rocking examples of 70s Brucesploitation. I personally dig on the urban Kung Fu flicks, the denim, bell-bottom cords, snug turtleneck sweaters, and tracksuits aesthetic is tha bomb!
'Pulling a big one draws a lot more heat!' Right on!!!!
Goyôkiba: Kamisori Hanzô jigoku zeme (1973)
penetrating interrogations via Hanzo's uniquely persuasive appendage!
The indomitable, hard-faced Hanzo returns for more martial mayhem and brutally administered justice in Hanzo The Razor : The Snare, such uncommonly refined bellicosity of this grandeur is rare! Director Masumura luridly ups the ante with splendidly spicy S & M shenanigans, blaspheming Buddhists, Draconian torture, witchy abortionists, and penetrating interrogations via Hanzo's uniquely persuasive appendage! With seamier shades of pinku extremity and bountiful arterial blood-letting, this fiendishly gripping snare is sure to capture your interest. This lusty instalment of shadowy, evilly conniving government corruption, despicable vice and lechery is dramatically heightened by maestro Isao Tomita's pulsing, sitar-spiked synth score!
Blonde Fist (1991)
quirky 90s time capsule is a joyous reminder that Margi's a phooken goddess, mate!
Ravishing platinum-topped pugilist Margi Clarke is on prime gobby form as pugnacious single mum Ronnie O'Dowd in cult 90s Lively-bird drama 'Blonde Fist'. This engagingly rough-hewn, Kirby-set gem about a boozy working class scrappin' scouser and his no less hot-headed daughter is a comedic knock-out ripe for rediscovery! While some of the dramatic elements are a trifle ham-fisted, Frank Clarke's mostly witty text scintillates with a number of eminently quotable zingers!
There's a brief appearance by a young, snot-nosed Stephen Graham, Margi's fiesty prison scrap with fathole (Big Alice) remains a squalling cat-fighting treat, and the still-gorgeous Giallo Siren Carroll Baker is an absolute riot as sassy, warm-hearted ex-showgirl Lovelle Summers. You have to hand it to Margi as it takes some Promethean chutzpah to gamely deliver this deliciously clunky line to her absconding ex: "Don't come back 'ere like a thief in the night!!!!" and, almost, get away with it! I'm not claiming Blonde Fist is Ken Loachian quality, but the noisome protagonists are frequently fun, and this quirky 90s time capsule is a joyous reminder that Margi's a phooken goddess, mate!
Lung men bei chi (1976)
Brucesploitation rocks!!!!!!
'Bruce Lee's Deadly Fingers' (1979) Dir. Joseph Kong Hung.
Bruce Lee's Deadly Fingers is a rumbustious example of higher echelon, bone-breakingly bellicose Brucesploitation! Another globe-trotting, eyeball popping, non-stop nun-chucking, dazzlingly chop socky clotted iteration of the 'Finding Bruce Lee's Kung Fu Finger Book' school! There's stab-happy street scum, pool hall pugilists, brutal Kung Fu thuggery, prog rocking sounds, grindhouse Grab-assery, and relentlessly fleet-fisted martial arts mad-hattery! Once snug-vested hero Bruce Wong masters Finger Kung Fu, his deadly digits, and steel-tempered sinews can fatally punch through bone like a prong!
Mang quan gui shou (1979)
marvel at all enjoyably scrappy chop-comedy-socky shenanigans herein!
Novice fighter, Bruce Li is suckered by two bogus Kung fu teachers until he is montaged into a next-level, lightning-swift power-fighter of awesome magnitude by affable Kung Fu vagabond (Yuen Siu-tien). Alongside sleek, powerhouse pugilist Dragon Lee, the no less mighty martial artist Bruce Li remains one of my most beloved Bruce Lee copyists!!! I sincerely feel these actors energetically mimic Bruce's iconic style out of a profound love and reverence for the great man. Others express a dimmer view of Brucesploitation, but they probably prattle on turgidly about mobile phone apps, wormy artisan cheese and overpriced 4K Blu-rays, so, phook 'em! Bruce Li rocks hard, dude, as does his lively street-tough Kung Fu action/comedy extravaganza, Blind Fist of Bruce Li! Douse the grey cells in one's preferred intoxicant, greasily stuff one's cakehole with yummy plastic cheese and marvel at all enjoyably scrappy chop-comedy-socky shenanigans herein! While these films occasionally have all the aesthetic refinement of an over-fermented herring, the pedantic, frequently surrealistic dubbing are, for me, all part of the micro-genre's goofily pugnacious charm. I must admit to having been wholly absorbed by the righteously revenge-fuelled, fists-of-frenzy climax.
"In Kung Fu, you have to be fast, or you'll die!!!" I think a young Yngwie Malmsteen took this maxim a little too much to heart!"
Kanashimi no Beradonna (1973)
Uniquely dazzling entertainment!
'Belladonna of Sadness' 1973 - Eiichi Yamamoto.
I found the exquisitely ornate animated fantasy Belladonna of Sadness to be a uniquely bewitching, kaleidoscopically sensual, deliriously psychedelicized experience! It is quite unlike anything else, Yamamoto's compellingly adult, Raven dark fairy tale exits in its very own hermetically sealed, brightly bejewelled cosmos of creative excellence! Watching this ravishing 70s phantasmagoria without any preconceptions actively heightened the sublimely immersive experience! The gifted actors voicing these vividly drawn characters are quite brilliant, and the oneiric acid/psyche score is a perfect complement to the eldritch, other-worldly visuals.
Mr. Mean (1977)
if y'all want the job done clean, and y'all got the folding green, you can rely on Mr. Mean!'
Super bad icon Fred Williamson directs Fred Williamson in the Fred Williamson-tastic 70s hit man thriller Mr. Mean. Williamson's Mr. Mean is one virile and brutish hombre, and when he's not being a virile and brutish hombre he's kicking yo' muther's ass!!!! Hired to kill a sleazy mafia skell (Lou Castel), Mr. Mean is soon a marked man, but he brutally unmarks himself by kicking every muther-lovers ass!!! Right on!!!! Additional funky vibes are groovily gleaned from the pristine Ohio Players score. Scrappy scads of chronic, haymaker Kung Fu, dapper threads, Vesuvius hot chicks, Postcard perfect Rome locations, burly Alpha Raimund Harmsdorf, and a frankly bewildered Lou Castel makes Mr. Mean one righteously Euro-freaky scene! This action-jacked, enjoyably cheapnis Blaxploitation/Eurocrime, head-knocking hybrid is one bumpy ride, brother man, and comes with a funky little twist-let at the end. Right on!!!! Williamson is still the phooken man!!!!
'In between the sheets he's a dream, out on the streets he's a killing machine, but if y'all want the job done clean, and y'all got the folding green, you can rely on Mr. Mean!'
The Terror Within (1989)
one of the superior bargain-basement, blood-basted subterranean Sci-shockers!
Ably produced by prodigiously talented B-Movie Tzar Roger Corman, The Terror Within is a rumbustious post-apocalyptic, splatter-spectacular! Not unlike fellow cellar-dwelling dystopian fromage-fest 'Creepozoids', this is one of the superior bargain-basement, blood-basted subterranean Sci-shockers! Civilisation all but wiped out by a genocidal super-virus, the remaining vestiges of humanity work within reinforced subterranean bunkers, while 'things' start hotting up in the arid wasteland above! These grossly mutated, ghoulish-looking gargoyles are no longer content to forage above ground in the sun-bleached Mojave Desert, they breach the security of the survivor's far from impenetrable bunker! Fatefully penetrating one of the Mojave crew, and it is not long thereafter that leader Hal (George Kennedy) breaks out the LASER WEAPONS, and flamethrowers in a courageous attempt to destroy 'The Terror Within'!
The clearly gifted director works nigh on miracles with such a meagre budget, Thierry Nots is seemingly blessed with an alchemical ability to turn base celluloid into blood-burnished B-Movie gold! Robustly supported by a lively, talented cast, featuring a suitably steely, heroic turn by handsome Alpha dude, Andrew Stephens. There's an effectively moody score, some spectacularly splashy FX, and the monstrously malign, man-hunting mutant remains a joy to behold! In a multitude of gore-ious ways, Theirry Nots's exemplary 80s Sci-splatter 'The Terror Within' is a winning example of how you can get a bigger bang from your miniscule B-Movie buck, just by effectively utilizing a killer-looking monster!
The Curse (1987)
'There's something hinkey in the water, and it sure 'aint fish doodie!'
Luridly Lovecraftian horror rocks!!!!
'The Curse' aka 'The Farm' (1987) - David Keith.
After a large frozen alien globule crash lands dramatically on a small farm, the produce, livestock and increasingly psycho farmer's wife become toxically infested with gross, parasite-infested space goo! Hey!!!! Sometimes that's pretty much all the highfalutin' dramatic ingredients I really need! Throw in a bible-bashing redneck, his poisonous lard-ass son, some gruesomely exploding, wormy cysts, and I'm pretty much set! This gorgeously gloopy Sci-Shocker 'The Curse' is still a pretty fun, luridly Lovecraftian 80s fright flick!
Mo lu kuang hua (1993)
all is not well within Moon Lee's outwardly delectable noggin.
Moon Lee goes absolutely postal in the rather uneven Cat III curiosity 'Yes, Madam '92' : A Serious Shock Death Triangle'. This occasionally bizarro, somewhat skewed shoot 'em up is bejewelled with the irrepressible, hard-hitting, head-splitting hell-cats of heroic bloodshed: Cynthia Khan, Moon Lee, and Yukari Oshima. If, like me, you righteously groove on adrenaline-soaked, female-led fight flicks with deliriously acrobatic action-overload, heightened by voluminous Foley, then, Albert Lai's off-beat HK crime/female scorned potboiler is not one to miss. The rather unwieldy title is a reference to the hugely ill-fated love triangle that inspires all the conspicuously unheroic bloodshed herein. This frequently feels like some demented martial arts melodrama, since the erratic tone, and unexpectedly loopy narrative threw me a bit. The very early scene wherein Moon Lee's excessively volatile cop May annihilates a fellow cop in an ostensibly friendly sparring match kinda suggests all is not well within May's outwardly delectable noggin.
Lone Runner (1986)
Miles O'Keefe was always one of my favourite B-Movie warlords!
Manly muscle-cake Miles O'Keefe and sultry siren Savina Gersak provide the scrummy eye candy for Italian icon Ruggero Deodato's exciting 80s action/fantasy 'Lone Runner'. Despicable desert bandits have kidnapped the handsome princess (Gersak) and steel-sinewed, stubble-chinned, crossbow-master hero Garrett(O'Keefe) rescues her for, hopefully, some plentiful, greatly deserved reward nookie! Not all too frequently mentioned, 'Lone Runner' remains a fun actioner, and maestro Deodato has never been a slouch when it comes to shooting thrillingly slam bang action scenes! I don't care who knows it, 'The Malacoots' is a righteous moniker for a brawling band of desperate desert brigands, and I also dig on composer Charles cooper's synth-tastic score! The Spaghetti Western dubbing and exotic middle-east location are manifestly part of the film's charm, and to its credit Lone Runner features some bravura stunt work, which is nothing less than what one expects from a quality Italian genre picture. I must profess to having an admittedly childlike appreciation of the stout-hearted hero who is capable of almost preternatural feats of derring-do! With an ice-breaker jaw that's tighter than a squirrel's sphincter, tall, heroically chiselled, conspicuously hunky Miles O'Keefe was always one of my favourite B-Movie warlords, and Lone Runner is one of his very best!
The House of the Dead (1978)
an engaging vintage trip into bite-sized terror!
I genuinely love creepy old 70s horror/fantasy anthologies, so soothingly crumpet cosy, just my kinda' feel good movie! This morbidly atmospheric compendium features four splendidly spooksome tales of mystery and horror, with the more robust instalments giving off deliciously musty cryptkeeper/ Amicus vibes! The eerily home-invading, snaggle-toothed kids, the Peeping Tom-style, camera-obsessed serial killer, and the hubristic super-detectives were my absolute favourites! 'The House of The Dead' remains an engaging vintage trip into bite-sized terror, the performances are fine, the tummy-tingling torments are capably staged by Miller, and the macabre conclusion, while inevitable, proves satisfyingly sinister. As the man has so often said, they just DON'T make 'em like this any more!
Zui mao shi fu (1978)
I'd like to think that smuggling diamonds in a fake cyst is a thing!
Director Cheung Sum successfully created a durable, amusingly whacky, panther-paced, action-packed, splendidly slapstick-silly chop socky gem. Kung Fu Master Named Drunk Cat remains a breezy action comedy classic that no serious fan of muscular Kung Fu gymnastics, charismatic chop socking eccentricity, martial art-infused mishaps, and broad comedy shenanigans should miss! There's a lovely cast of familiar Kung Fu favourites, super loud Kung Fu Foley, a pleasing variety of flamboyant fighting styles, funky tracksuits, spectacularly agile comedic buffoonery, groovy library music, plus there's a playful vibe maintained throughout that I really appreciated! Propah Brillo!!! 'Kung Fu Master Named Drunk Cat' is a riotously fun 70s Kung Fu flick, which is only marred by its brevity, and I'd like to think that smuggling diamonds in a fake cyst is a thing!
Bats (1999)
I feel that this unjustly low balled, fabulously bloody 90s Sci-shocker is long overdue some Radar love, man!
A young courting couple are graphically slaughtered by a multitude of super-fugly, grotesquely-oversized, uncommonly ferocious bats. Not long thereafter, said red-eyed beasties grimly turn their radar-heightened sights upon the unsuspecting inhabitants of Gallup, Texas. Panic ensues once sheriff Emmett Kimsey (Lou Diamond Phillips) and noted zoologist Sheila Casper (Dina Meyer) disturbingly discover that these genetically mutated bats are extremely deadly, highly sophisticated predators, and not one of them is a vegetarian! All the expectedly lively ingredients are present for a righteous creature feature, prototypical meddling scientist (Bob Gunton), goodly, straight-shooting Sheriff, plucky, whip-smart heroine, amiable comedy sidekick (Leon) and some truly gnarly-looking bats (KNB FX!) Louis Morneau has excitingly produced a slick, nasty-edged creature feature that benefits greatly from its talented cast, mythic western setting and the absolutely eye-poppingly brilliant special FX work of the maestros at KNB! On a personal note, I feel that this unjustly low balled, fabulously bloody 90s Sci-shocker is long overdue some Radar love, man! And Lou Diamond Phillip's solid contribution to genre cinema is no less neglected than his enjoyably Batso B-flick.
Zui quan nu diao shou (1979)
Chia Ling rocks!!!!!!!!
'Against The Drunken Cat Paws' (1979) - Ting Shan-hsi.
This winningly eccentric Kung Fu gem has the purrfectly exhilarating blend of panther-like speed, gravity-defying agility, and feral femme-fighting power! As always, supreme martial arts goddess Chia Ling is a delight to behold in this consistently thrilling rock 'em and sock 'em Taiwanese chop socky epic! If it hasn't already, this zesty, deservedly popular 70s Kung Fu classic is long overdue a quality HD restoration. With loopy, larger-than-life characters, killer drunken 'Fu, and wholly entertaining comedic interludes, this admirably acrobatic, revenge-tastic, non-stop old school fight-fest is a propah banger!
Corruption (1968)
A shockingly lurid, uniquely British take on 'Les Yeux Sans Visage'
This uniquely British, shockingly lurid, conspicuously 60s take on 'Les Yeux Sans Visage' finds respected surgeon (Peter Cushing) profaning his Hippocratic oath in his increasingly gruesome attempts to repair the dreadfully scarred face of his greatly beloved young wife (Sue Lloyd). Arguably one of Peter Cushing's most singular, multi-faceted performances, his initially reserved, public school sang-froid irrevocably corrupted by his wife's desperate need for the temporary succour of this altogether murderous surgical procedure! The first time we observe the good doctor violently assault a young woman, maniacally severing her head for the fleshly ingredients therein, remains wholly indelible! Not only compelling grand guignol entertainment, 'Corruption' is a fascinating 60s time capsule, garish dayglo/Baroque fashions, sleek, open-topped sportsters, hip crash pads, 'wild' swinging shindigs, bizarre beatnik thugs, and an outrageously laser-slashing climax, Hammer Films only rarely got this groovy, man! A relatively undiscovered Jewel of vintage British macabre, 'Corruption' is briskly directed by Hartford-Davis, has a gifted cast, with Sue Lloyd and Peter Cushing on truly immaculate form, Lloyd's manipulative, increasingly shrill performance is not readily forgotten.
¡Tintorera! (1977)
Garcia, Stiglitz & George do their very best to keep Cardona's lusty creature feature afloat!
Unconventionally hunky leading man Hugo Stiglitz heads up the handsome cast of Cardona's conventional, yet enjoyably sexified Jaws rip-off that happily includes the vivacious strumpet Susan George! These salty seaside shenanigans vary not one briny fathom from the tried and tested trope of big angry white fish eating folk, but if I wanted variety, I woulda bought myself a family-sized box of assorted chocolates! The occasionally soggy bottomed plot is perkily remedied by a plenitude of tautly bikini-clad bots, and the love triangle of Garcia, Stiglitz & George do their very best to keep Cardona's lusty creature feature afloat! With one's critical faculties dulled by fortified libations, Tintorera remains a pleasingly saucy shark attack B-flick. Highlights include Stiglitz's manly short-shorts, Basil Poledouris's super slinky lounge-y score, Fiona Lewis's sparkling baby blues, a beach paradise locale, and the witlessly cornball-clotted text. Hey!!! A sublime sun-baked Ménage à Trois plus some grisly shark attacks, what more could a jaded 70s Creature feature freak ask for? I shall leave the final summation to rugged/smiley sex beast Miguel: 'in the meantime, let's dance!!!!' Amen, you swarthy, rabidly rutting man-biscuit!!!