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I Am Not Okay with This (2020)
8 of 10 because they hardly could have made this one better.
Apart from the fact that I could just stare at Sophia Lillis' face and be entertained: Once I had overcome some initial reflex aversion, which was really misplaced, I just binged Season 1 in one evening (7*20=140 minutes).
It wasn't even necessary to deliver it in such handy little episodes - following Sydney around through her experiences and revelations keeps you glued to the screen. And her powers, of which we will probably learn a lot in Season 2 (1 ended at a pivotal point, so 2 could make this or break this.), are "believable" in so far as they are not arbitrary and feel like they're really coming from deep inside.
Of the 1 or 2 star reviewers, I can only say they ... missed out. Maybe one day they give this one another look and see how rich it really is.
Criminal (2016)
The occasional spark of brilliance drowned in an onslaught of cliché sewage.
Roughly the first half happens in two mental spaces:
Kevin Costner's well performed character and psychology change, which also comes with some of what made Falling Down (1993) so entertaining.
And, on the other hand, a teenager's wet fever dream of what a government secret agency and officials look like, talk like, and act like; of course drenched with a thick coat of the typical dumb cliche American-gubment action music.
Halfway through, I predicted the ending regarding the villain as well as the hero and nailed both. (The exact nature of the villain's situation. Whether or not it would be in what kind of vehicle and in what way.)
Another reviewer complained about overuse of jiggly cam, and I concur. But it's bearable. It's far removed from the shaky-cam insanity that put all Paul Greengrass and Olivier Megaton movies on my blacklist.
I would say that the film's worth watching for the streaks of good acting, fun and interesting situations, and of course Gal Gadot's scene stealing beauty (Is she single?). But once the credits rolled, I could only shake my head about how phoned-in (yet well produced) this crap of a movie is. What a waste of good material and A-list actors.
Yes, you can be entertained, but you can't have this without a severe headache and the feeling that you probably just wasted your time. One star, because I would SO like to kick the people responsible in the nuts.
Hunter Killer (2018)
High quality military squad/submarine action cinema
This is on par with or above the better Tom Clancy films. 9 Stars. Made it 10 to offset the definitely too low score of 6.6 - what keeps it from a true 10 is some clichés, too extreme sub maneuvering, and the fact that a 10 should be reserved for milestones and masterpieces.
You do not have to turn off your brain to enjoy this one, ignoring a few clichés. It's just well done all around, except for some microphone/voice work which occasionally makes it hard to follow dialogue. The squad action felt entirely believable and worth the watch by itself. The plot logic was solid and entertaining, too.
If you're looking for almost 2 hours of very well done military/political action cinema, you're exactly in the right place.
Replicas (2018)
You do have to overlook some idiocy, but it's doable and worth it.
The movie is a solid 6 or even 7. I wanted to give it 10 to offset the IMHO unjustified negative reviews, but that smells, so I'll just go to 8.
Really, there's some cringy stuff in there that you have to look past, but tossing out the whole film because of that is unjustified. It's a good science fiction flick which even has a bit of properly logically figured out solution to a tech problem, instead of just throwing Tachyons at it or something.
If you're going about reviewing films with an either to be or not to be attitude, you should be spending your time with something entirely different. Maybe slow down the entertainment maximization a bit. I definitely don't consider the 1h40m to be wasted. And reviews that rip Keanu a new one, saying he's still just like "Duuude...!", that's just dumb. What are you trying to achieve? To thin out the list of enjoyable films to a minimum, so that you can still keep track? What's the goal here?
See You Yesterday (2019)
Badly written, and too much obvious social justice pandering.
I finally gave up at 33:42 (53:30 incl. credits left to go) when someone said to the time machine inventor (without knowing about the machine): "If I could go back and fix it, I would. But I can't." And the TMI wakes up from their stupor of sorrow and actually asks: "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"
Yes. That bad a cliche. Just when I was on the verge of quitting but had decided at 33 to keep going up to 40 minutes to give it one more chance ... after all that social justice stuff. This pushed me over the edge - bad movie! Since I haven't seen it completely, I give it 3 instead of 1 stars, because who knows what good stuff I may have missed. But really, at 20 minutes, I said to myself: Those were 20 minutes, 10 of which I could have done without.
Back to the Future was *such* a perfectly focused movie which kept you interested and at the edge of your seat all the time. So much *purpose* and drive. Unfair to even bring this into the discussion? That's the thing: This movie references BttF rather strongly. But up to minute 33, you only get 1 actual time travel science fiction experience. (Whose effects are rather badly done. I'm not talking ability/money but the choices of design and of what exactly happens. So arbitrary, so random.)
SJW stuff: Cop bias against black people (but the cops actually back off when threatened that things will be put on the youtubes ... yeah, that's not rare/wishful at all); some chanting "black lives matter" protesters; sexism against women. Those are the boxes that are clearly being ticked, not just if you are "looking for political poisoning to turn it off fast", which I wasn't (was enthusiastic about a TM movie) but some here probably are. All this up to minute 33. Time travel topic only sprinkled into that very lightly. The characters not reflecting the unimaginable hugeness of the ability to travel back (and change things). Bad writing etc. - don't bother.
Netflix: If you made this movie to lend a little helping hand to the black community, then you're doing it wrong. Next time I see such a movie advertised, and ponder if I'll give it my time, guess what'll now also be dropped on the scales of the decision process. You really need to be more strict. And less obvious. Being less obvious would be easy, because how could you be *more* obvious.
The Umbrella Academy (2019)
Brilliant. Somewhat original. Entertaining til the end.
TL;DR: Watch it, if you like a good story that never disappoints and also has super-powered people.
The 9 of 10 stars judge this as a series. If it were to compete with movies, it'd be a 7 or 8.
Series always have some drawn-out-ness, where the butter on the bread grows thin. TUA has *very* little of that. The only existing season so far (S1, with 10 episodes) goes by rather quickly, even though it's a whopping 9 hours. New perspectives, new situations, but all part of a coherent whole with an ending that does not disappoint (and invites to jump right into S2, if there ever is one, and I damn hope so).
Acing, effects, makeup, all spot on. Ellen Page, Robert Sheehan (Misfits), ...? The producers *wanted* this show to be good, and they succeeded. There's some botched microphone work on Ellen Page that sadly happens throughout the whole season, but it's just a bit impure, not a deal-breaker.
The story unfolds naturally, expands from personal and family matters to world-altering affairs and metaphysics. Even though there's no dullness, it's not stuffed with gimmicks or sugar. Good old substance. Invest the time, you'll be glad you got to know this show.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)
Beautiful. Spectacular. Arbitrary. Dumb.
Score 7.7 of 10 is way too high, I'd give it a 6 at the most, so here's a 4 to offset the 7.7
I know, it's just popcorn cinema, but compare it to the first Avengers movie (2012) which was the same category. I saw that one at least three times. The Hulk smashing Loki around ... there were so many scenes in it I rewatched right away, awesome, funny, sparky, and all part of a whole that kept you going. It had the right ingredients, rhythm, and was mixed well - a cocktail to enjoy.
GotG2 is too arbitrary, it's filled with tropes that are just thrown in as sugar ("They like sugar, right, so let's add sugar."), and it doesn't handle the marvel mechanics well that it chose to deal with. When you introduce mechanics, you define them and you stick with them. But they just arbitrarily decided to do X and then do Y because it fit with what the story was supposed to do next.
Yes, it is visually beautiful and spectacular, and it has its funny moments, but it's not a GotG1, let alone an Avengers 1. You want to have seen all parts of the GotG series for the good ones that will probably follow eventually, so watch this one, but be aware that it has too much the feel of a time waster.
The Little Mermaid (2018)
Beautiful. Deeply flawed.
More heart than mind and ability, but this doesn't show during the first two thirds, which I easily managed to enjoy. I recommend that you choose any movie you know you'll enjoy over this one, unless you're kind of out of material. You can enjoy it, but it'll be hard close to the end, not due to the story but due to execution, sadly.
Orchestra music is spot on. The occasional computer programmed music (circus / the dance) is very annoying.
One key character (eeevil) acts in a very wannabe-ish way. At first I thought this was because we transition from skepticism, where there's no magic, to the discovery that it's all real, and then the acting would change accordingly. Sadly it didn't.
Acting overall is ok to good. But they really dropped the ball in the last third of the movie, which distinctly begins with someone doing something they just made very clear they are absolutely unable to do unless a certain condition is fulfilled. And then, when it is completed, they are being shown: The condition IS fulfilled! Such a relief! - So how did they play along through all this, convinced that it would have to turn out very bad? Major plot hole.
That's the beginning of it. Then there are fight scenes in that part that are remarkably bad. Then another one, even worse. The first two thirds of the movie are quite ok, occasionally really well done and go to heart. The ending did not resonate with me - it might have if I wouldn't have been pushed off my chair by the surprising and distinct drop in quality. Something must have happened during production.
Maniac (2018)
A marvelously polished turd.
10 episodes with ~37 minutes of material before the credits, makes for a little over 6 hours, 3 of which would have been justifiable. I wish I had aborted this instead of watching it all. During episode 3, I even contacted friends and recommended this. Had to retract that.
We are graced with remarkably beautiful visuals, wonderfully elaborate sets. And with a well-done mix of today's world, 1980s style, and a welcome new flavor of cyberpunk. And there's no reasonable way to complain about the acting.
The problem is plot and pacing.
The experience is supercharged with "What happens next?"-energy (So - plot is made to matter heavily.) but too often drags along in drawn-out uninteresting scenes, and it just keeps introducing more weird long fantasy situations when you've already thought it would be due time to rather focus on the main plot and facts again, which up to and incl. the end isn't entirely clear what it is.
The amount of elements featured in the perception/fantasies of the characters is so high, you can never be sure if you've pieced them together correctly, so it's all just a heap of noise. And, again, just too long for what it contains.
Watch the first 3-4 episodes and move on or avoid it altogether. Else you're very likely to agree: The time was wasted.
Four Assassins (2011)
Sometimes slightly shaky acting, and when you start thinking "Drawn out.", it will start increasing the drawn-out-ness.
My main gripe really is the timing, which seemed to get worse and worse the closer to the end it got. It also felt a bit like they were trying to imitate formulas they had seen in other movies, not to say "It's pretentious", which would be a bit too much. The story is OK but not remarkable, I'd even almost say "forgettable". The (very very rare) action is OK, nothing remarkable.
If I'd HAVE TO say either "watch" or "don't watch", I'd immediately say "don't watch", but I don't mean to say that the movie is awful. There are just so many better things to spend 80 (long-ass) minutes with. OK, I seem to need about 10 words more for this to pass.
While She Was Out (2008)
utter Mindvomit
What a weekend. Two days ago I watched the first half of "War Games 2: Dead Code", now "While she was out". I am trying to come to a decision which one was worse in terms of pain in my mind while watching. I guess, "While she was out" was worse.
It has all been said before in other comments: Unrealistic, illogical etc. - the only thing I really have to add is that at some point I started feeling more for the evil guys than for the woman because I would have recommended her for a Darwin award if she actually died (only watched first half, so I don't know). Soon I was at two Darwin awards (if that's even possible) for her immense stupidity.
And, hey: Produced by Kim Basinger? So she did not only know the script but was also responsible for bringing this waste of money to us, the people? I consider humans who waste considerable amounts of money to be evil because the money could have used to feed and clothe quite a few people instead of hurting 80 percent of those who saw it in the cinema and giving 20 percent, which are idiots, a good opportunity to show just how much of an idiot they are.
How to Rob a Bank (and 10 Tips to Actually Get Away with It) (2007)
unbelievably bad
It might only tell you that I disliked the movie or maybe even didn't understand the plot when I state now that I am convinced that the screenplay writer must be a longtime cocaine addict. You might think that I am bad with people when I say that the persons in this movie must be from a different planet, that what they uttered clearly did not come from motivation but from awfully bad writing that was supposed to come over as cool.
At some point, the movie just starts to hurt the consciousness. If it doesn't hurt yours, then you either didn't see it or that you don't have consciousness.
I think I am caught in a hellish reality tunnel with a pretentious movie and people who think that the movie's displayed wannabe-coolness is to be studied and imitated in real life because it makes you feel "good" about yourself. Those are the people that get shot dead in "Dogma" by Loki while he shouts "Fakes! All of you, fakes!".
Did you read the comment "A Fun Romp!"? It describes the opposite of what I think about this movie. It is unbelievable how people can not see that this movie is a load of mind vomit.
Cube Zero (2004)
I take a different angle on this one, based on "DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?"
This angle on the movie is not yet represented in these comments, so I have to write it.
*SPOILERS DEFINITELY*
This movie takes the cube universe exactly here: God, Heaven and Hell. In this movie, when one character enters the exit room (the white lit room we know from Cube 1), he is asked his name and, with a loud, echoing voice, "Do you believe in God?". The character answers no, and a push-button of the engineers burns his flesh to death.
Later we get to know, that the engineers are also "test subjects", not inside the cube but outside. And since one of them revolts, he gets punished by "two more lifetimes" - most people believe this means the same as being sentenced to life by a human judge. LOL.
Adding all the gruesomeness and also the fact that there is a character which you could call the devil (God's punisher), which is definitely in control but also submits to the (telephone-)voice from above, also the fact that there is a lift in which you can just choose Up and Down, whereas down leads you inside the terrorizing cube, and also adding the fact that the acting of the engineers is pretty much empty (which could be considered unintentional, but I rather want to see it as a part of the whole because when I watch a movie, I try to enjoy it rather than to wanna tell people "I was gone asleep after 15 minutes, this movie sucks!!!!111 I'm stupid, by the way!")... - the whole cube thing and the world around it is nothing more than Hell itself. A place of pure insanity and torture, where you can speed up your progress by submitting yourself as "test subjects" (just increased suffering and torture, but also faster progressing) and finally you get asked the big question: "Do you believe in God?" - No means: You die, get resurrected, and the whole torture-life starts anew without memories.
If you look at it in this way, everything fits perfectly, and it is also the strongest, psychosis-inducing hell-movie I have ever come across. Respect!