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Godzilla (2014)
1/10
Waiting for Godotzilla
14 July 2014
Sometimes the very best films are unintentionally funny, however it is with a heavy heart I inform you that the only unintentionally funny thing about this film is the cavalcade of comedic wigs donned by Bryan Cranston's character. I have seen more convincing hairpieces at a pensioner's pool party in Boca Raton. The only thing that was missing was a Hawaiian shirt, short shorts and a pick up line that begins with "Hey baby....".

The movie has a stellar cast, with two Oscar winners and three Oscar nominees but you would never know it. Juliette Binoche was clearly taking the money and running, gone in 60 seconds (literally) and Ken Watanabe is as lifelike as the Oscar he won. Watanabe stomps leaden footed through most of his scenes garbling his lines but when it comes to stomping, who does it better than Godzilla? Sure the film is called Godzilla but...where IS GODZILLA? It's like some sort of absurdist piece. The titular head of the movie appears only sometimes, and we are first forced to endure a good thirty minutes of scene-setting and bad wigs. Godzilla appears more like the original Japanese version and there is some hat-tipping to the origins of the film franchise, but apart from that...we are still waiting for Godzilla. Not only is Godzilla hard to find in this hard slog of a film, but when Godzilla isn't just stomping over landmarks he is noshing on some sort of angry flying leftover from the film Starship Troopers. He isn't an angry refugee from atomic testing, he is a hungry behemoth who unintentionally saves the world. It's a good thing too...because NOTHING saves this film.

Elizabeth Olsen runs the gamut of emotions from A to...well A. Aaron Taylor-Johnson, MUST be better in other films, because he makes Godzilla look life-like and believable. It is for Sally Hawkins that my heart breaks. She is an outstanding actress, and just this year was rightfully nominated for an Oscar for Blue Jasmine. What was she doing here? What was she doing signing on for this film? She was virtually invisible as the handmaiden to Watanabe, and although she is the only one who it can be said of, was actually acting, she was wasted and lost in the carnage and close ups of Cranston and Watanabe. My final sorrowful song is sung to David Strathairn who is also an Oscar nominated actor, and is deservedly considered one of America's finest character actors. However, therein, lies the problem. In order for one to be a character, one must have a character to inhabit. Strathairn blinks his way through this film seemingly oblivious to the mess around him. It must make it easier when your resume includes, "Lincoln", "Good Night and Good Luck" and "L.A. Confidential" to simply not move and hope no one notices you.

Most good stories start with a fundamental list of ingredients: the initial situation, conflict, complication, climax, suspense, denouement, and conclusion. None of these ingredients will be found in Godzilla. They are simply not applicable. In "Waiting for Godot" Nothing happens, nobody comes, nobody goes. As scholar David Bradby says in his criticism of Godot, this is an understatement: "less than nothing happens."

That same criticism can be made of Godzilla, or as I have called it, "Waiting for Godotzilla."
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Piranha (1978)
7/10
Puts the "ha" in piranha
28 August 2010
Tonight I watched the classic cinematic experience "Piranha" which puts the ha in piranha. It moves at a pace that only be described as excruciating, while the movie itself defies adjective or simile. The acting is pure Juliard...Aeschylus invented theatre so that this kind of perfectly tuned drama could be played out. With quotes such as, "Hey you cool your jets young lady..." and "Terror, horror, death. Film at eleven." The fact that the "actors" were even able to deliver their lines without bursting into laughter or tears, is testament to their professionalism and dedication. The script itself is a hoot and no cliché is left unturned. It is never explained why the girl Suzie is at summer camp, when she lives on the other side of the water from her father. It is inexplicable like so many things in this gem. Enjoy.
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Mahogany (1975)
9/10
Camptastic
17 June 2010
This movie is a roller-coaster of camp, from start to finish. It is like a bunch of gay men sat down to figure out how to dress up Diana Ross and put her in different outfits all done to a never-ending loop of Diana's own song. The montage of Diana as fashion model is perhaps one of the funniest and campest scenes in a movie, and of course was copied almost shot for shot for the Beyonce montage scene in "Dreamgirls". It has to be seen to be believed.

But no-one can inspire a drag queen like Ms. Ross who never lets plot or story-line interfere with her chances to soft pout or give us long enigmatic looks. The good thing is the plot and story-line is so thin and transparent, she doesn't have to struggle too much. The storyline is simple....girl from the projects with big dreams leaves behind the bleakness of Chicago as she is "discovered" by Anthony Perkins who can't quite figure out if he is gay in the movie (as he was in real life) or straight. He veers from camp to psychotic misogynist sometimes in the same scene. The result is unintentional hilarity.

Part of the rags to riches subplot (if you can call it that) is the Billy Dee Williams character who we know is the true love of Ms.Ross. He is a local activist in Chicago who runs for political office. This part of the story is boring, because Diana isn't dressed up and mincing though every scene. It is also boring because Billy Dee's character is almost as clichéd as the rest of the story. Fighting the white honky sometimes with words but sometimes with fists. He is down-to-earth and hard-working as well as fearless. We are supposed to want him to win. Ms.Ross makes a decision that happiness trumps fame and glory and that is the end...or kind of the end. Actually I don't remember the story, because the camera barely moves from Ross the whole time.

If you love high camp then this movie is for you. At one point Diana Ross says, "I wonder if I'm doing the right thing.." Oh Diana, you are. You are doing the right thing. Fun fact, some of the frocks on display were designed by Ms. Ross, and the whole camp drag-show was put together by her then lover, Berry Gordy.

This move is camptastic!
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An Education (2009)
9/10
What an education
2 January 2010
This film has it all, script, acting, warmth, pathos and wit. It is an exquisite film and beautifully crafted. Carey Mulligan is now on a trajectory to the stars with this film which is all hers. She radiates throughout the film but is no scene stealer. Now I am fearful to be too grandiose with my admiration for Ms. Mulligan because I felt the same way last year with Sally Hawkins (who makes a brief cameo in this film), however Carey Mulligan deserves the recognition she is getting. The story of a middle class father with high hopes for his precocious daughter is not the freshest tale in the box, but this movie pulls it off. Alfred Molina is outstanding as usual as the bearer of bombast and guilt. He has an answer for everything, or so it seems.

Carey Mulligan is a sucker for a sweet talker, and Peter Sarsgaard is sugar in a sports car....but it never seems forced or contrived. Sargaard wins over Mulligan and family, as quickly as he does with us....and even when we notice there is something wrong, we, like Mulligan, overlook it. Who gets hurt with white lies after all? It seems to me that the people who are constantly being overlooked are Dominic Cooper who seems to relish his role. We are first suspicious of him...he is too good to be true and he seems to be hiding something. Rosamund Pike is the other star of the film. She encapsulates the post-war hope of Britain. She is so sincere and earnest it's almost hard to believe she is real as well. It is all so clever. We the viewer are given so much facade, the by the time the kicker appears....we can hardly believe it.

The story however does have redemption at the end, although it is done a little too pat. Yes, Oxford and Cambridge required acceptance to a college, not to the university and the college system was very much alive in the 60's, but more than that, it seemed to trivialize the whole story. Mulligan has all the answers it seems, until of course she doesn't but like an episode of "Love Boat" all the lose ends are tied up, or hidden out of sight so we don't feel cheated. It was a bit too clichéd.

The movie however, is a gem. BBC Films, as usual, brings remarkable tales and humanity to the screen and present us with a line-up second to none. If Americans really want to see how you do a great movie on a small budget then the Brits have some lessons to teach. Each character has depth, and pathos. Many people have mentioned the characters of Olivia Williams and of course Emma Thompson. Both of them take their role with a quiet reserve but nevertheless give us some of the best lines in the film, aside from those from Mulligan.

See this movie, and savour it. It is a celluloid delight.
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5/10
Things that make you go hmmm....
2 January 2010
I should start off by saying I am a huge Kathryn Bigelow fan, and she has certainly taken on a task with this film. I am not an army person, so I cannot speak to authenticity, but from a film-going perspective, it is an intriguing film. I didn't love it but I didn't hate it, so that might be a condemnation of the film, but it isn't meant to be. It is an interesting movie that veers between the quietly personal and the physically challenging. The relationship between the men is the anchor to the film and it certainly doesn't glorify war, as some people have stated in previous comments.

There is nothing about this film that makes you walk away thinking "Yes war is good". There is something dark about this film that you may or may not enjoy watching, but there is a larger message in the film. I got the feeling that Bigelow was trying to tell us that most people in the face of potential and very real death, need a certain amount of bravado and a certain amount of bravery to get through the days left.

Bravo Company is not a place I would want to be, and the movie opens with death just so we are sure. On the down side, I find the characters are not really well developed and they are developed in a haphazard way. Jeremy Renner is dancing with death, and seems to careen between substance and style as the character demands. He is the stand-out in the film, but Anthony Mackie is no slouch either and brings a real human compassion to the role. I can't help but wish his character well, and that he returns safely home.

Sadly it is the cavalcade of other characters that appear and whose roles are undeveloped that weaken the intensity of the film. The cinematography is outstanding, and captures the harsh beauty of the landscape. What the film lacks in tightness it makes up for in bathos. It's not a movie for the family and it won't be a movie you will want to see again and again, but there is something here worth seeing...even just once.
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8/10
Surprisingly Good
2 January 2010
This movie belongs to Sandra Bullock, who I will admit, I dislike as an actress. I think in movies generally the RomCom genre she usually appears in, makes her roles tired, and she often appears tired in those movies. When she has done serious, she always appears to me to lack the chops to make the roles believable or real. This is different. This movie starts off with characters, and builds them. Remember when films used to require a script, and acting...well "The Blind Side" is that kind of movie. Sandra Bullock is astonishing (not sure if it is her, or my generally low expectations for her) but she takes the role and makes it her own. I am not American and have no idea about American Football, but that is not the core of the story.

The heart of the story is a family that opens their home to a boy who seems to have nothing, but of course has so much...it just requires getting over petty stereotypes. It could have fallen into cliché, and there were moments when it teetered on the verge, but it always managed to stay on the rails. The support cast is outstanding, and altogether it is a positive and uplifting film without being cloying or chocolate box. For someone who had low expectations, take it from me, this one is worth the time and money. Sandra Bullock deserves her Golden Globes nomination for this movie although having been nominated for "The Proposal" as well might take some of the sheen off this gem.
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