philip-473 Reviews

Titanic: The Legend Goes On... (2000)

A rip off if I've ever seen one

[2/10 · 24 April 2010]

Well, I'm taking a small peek at this movie and I am typing while I watch it. And there's so much rip offs in here. Coupled with animation that even makes the Legend of Zelda CD-I games look like Disney. Everyone and everything from 101 Dalmatians, to An American Tail to even, Speedy Gonzales. There are even Sherlock Holmes and Celine Dion rip offs. I'm seriously don't get why the Lawsuits were filed.

Hell, if this movie was made today, rip offs of characters from Avatar, Lucky Star, and even James Cameron himself would be featured (then the lawsuits would pour in. But then again, it's just me).

But in any case, it's not really worthy of any stars, heck the only reason I wanted to watch it was for that "Party Time" song and that was just weird. Seriously, since when does a dog (who suspiciously looks like Jock from "Lady and the Tranp") in the early 20th century gain clothes, dance upright and have a boom box (something not invented until later that century) anyway? So yeah, just not watch. Unless you want a laugh, so it'll be rated at least two stars for some watch-ability, and for the fact that I always give star ratings. and while the animation is inconsistent (and by that I mean horrid), it does have some nice spots (but that's due to tracing over cels, adding insult to injury).

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

Great Mocking film... if your into that sort of thing that is...

[4/10 · 30 January 2010]

Okay, I have a little story to tell you all about this movie.

sometime in March of last year, My cousin Luke, his Friends Connor, Logan and Sterling and myself ended up going to see this movie. It was Logan's Birthday and it was his (or rather his parents) idea to see this. So after we got our tickets and snacks, we went into the theatre only to discover that we were the only ones in the audience. I kid you not. So we took it to our advantage and made fun of it and the trailers before it.

The movie itself isn't all that great, though it stars an all-star cast (including Kristin Kreuk from Smallville and Robin Shou from Mortal Kombat, which *surprise*, is a decent video Game film, or so I've heard) and is pretty much based upon one of the Franchise's most popular characters. it's writing, stunts, fight scenes and acting war below par and since this is a video game movie, you'd expect it to have CG. It does, but it's not featured a lot.

So yeah, this movie's bad, but it does make for good movie Mocking (or MST3King, whatever floats your boat). Also in the scene where Barlog blows up Gen's Dojo with a rocket launcher, I made that "I'm Firing my Lazor" joke to that scene, we all laughed at that as its timing was perfect.

Anyway, this ends another review from Phil MacRae.

Avatar (2009)

Another James Cameron Masterpiece

[6/10 · 30 January 2010]

2009, a year for movies, though most of them bad. Granted I did enjoy four movies the past year: Star Trek, Up, Coraline and this movie. Avatar, Directed by Titanic, Terminator 2: Judgment Day and Aliens director James Cameron is, by far my favourite of the four 2009 favourites I mentioned.

With stinkers Like Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, 2012, Monsters VS Aliens, Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li, DragonBall Evolution and Termanator Salvation among others being released this past year, we've been treated with explosions, McG's bad directing, leg Humping robots, inaccurate science, poor adaptations and stupid pop culture jokes littered around. Granted, for every stinker there is a gem in the rough (see also Watchmen, Ponyo, Sherlock Holmes, The Hangover, District 9 and Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and you'll see what I mean) now Avatar, an awesomely beautiful yet incredibly over-hyped, movie is one of those Gems. Now that I've got that out of the way, Lets start with the review: Now Cameron didn't seem to waste money or time with this movie. As the visuals, acting and story all seem to have taken the crew their sweet time with. The cast, which consists of Terminator Salvation star Sam Wothington (and the only thing that was good about that movie aside from the Arnold cameo near the end) and Alien star Sigourney Weaver as well as Michelle Rodriguez (from The Fast and The Furious), Stephen Lang, Zoe Saldana (from Star Trek) and C. C. H. Pounder. All of whom are perfect in their roles. The Story, though the basic people-come-to-another-planet-to-destroy-their-way-of-living plot line, is actually carried out pretty well with character development throughout.

The Visuals, from Weta, ILM and Framestore along with BUF, Blur Studios Ubisoft's Hybride Technologies, Pixel Liberation Front, Hydralyx and Lola Visual Effects don't disappoint either. There were a few things that bothered me about the effects (The lighting in some scenes, movement of the Mech suits *way too weightless, though these are people controlling them* and the Background Na'vi). though these are just minor flaws that do not in any case distract from the viewing pleasure.

So yeah after seeing it two times, I'm glad to say that the movie didn't disappoint either time. In fact, you'll enjoy it. And remember to stay for the final fight scene. It's awesomely awesome (and I have no idea how that made sense).

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

Why?

[3/10 · 16 January 2010]

Seriously, Hollywood has to stop green lighting these horrible, horrible movies.

I mean come on, while I haven't seen the original (Which I have heard was pretty decent), this movie is just poor.

The Writing sucks, the effects are worse then anything Freidburg or Seltzer could come up with and the acting is something that you'd expect to be in Power Rangers.

The final fight between Shao Kahn and Liu Kang isn't even a fight. It's just a battle between two poorly choreographed actors who turn into a CGI Hydra and Dragon (Respectively) that look like they came from those atrocious Legend of Zelda CDI Games that could probably pass muster in Barney and Friends.

So if you like riffing movies MST3K Style, then watch it. Otherwise don't bother.

The Transformers: The Movie (1986)

The Pros and Cons of this film

[8/10 · 26 July 2009]

Well I must admit to you all that yes it was interesting and that it was nice to watch. But I'm not here to tell you all a normal review, rather, I'm here to discuss the Pros and Cons of this film, so here goes: Pros: First thing that I should note is the Production values that went into the making of this film. The Animation, Voices and Music were top notch. The Animation itself is among of, if not, the best Non Disney films from the 80's that I have seen (the only films that I can think of with better animation would be Akira and The Land Before Time) In fact, these three movies surpass Disney quality at times too.

Next, Unicron is introduced. That giant, planet-eating robot is introduced here. Along with Galvatron, Cyclonus and Scurge (forgive me if I spelled that wrong). The Villains are much more powerful. Oh and the Quintasons are introduced here too (again, I know I misspelled it).

Third of all is the script. It has some good character development in it.

And finally, we all knew that Megatron would kill Starscream sooner or Later. Although I'm not saying he's a bad character though.

Cons: Despite the high quality of the Animation in this film (trust me, I'm not lying when I say it, it moves smoothly and almost surpasses Disney at times). It's loaded with errors like the series. Some aren't that noticeable unless you play the movie frame by frame. While others are incredibly noticeable (Devastator's green chest plate, Hot Rod's two different Transformations and the Credits are most noticeable among them).

Blurr and Wheelie were the most annoying characters ever introduced. While the former is tolerable to a point (he'll leave you wondering when will he ever shut up) Wheelie should be burned with Holy water. He makes Robin the Boy wonder look like a cool character (Thank god that Wheelie was changed for RoTF) The Death of Optimus Prime could give kids nightmare and possibly traumatize them for most of their young lives.

And the infamous oh Sh*t line said by Spike. Need I say more.

Conclusion: Good points- Unicron and new Decepticons, High production values, good plot and Starscream dying. Bad points- Blurr & Wheelie, numerous animation errors despite the excellent animation, Optimus dying and Oh Sh*t line.

Score 8/10.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)

Doesn't take itself seriously... and it succeeded

[9/10 · 9 July 2009]

This movie is one of my all time favorites. It's funny, has some interesting Gremlin designs (The spider version of Mohawk is cool looking), great animatronic and puppet effects (they still hold up after nearly 19 years) and one of the most interesting versions of New York, New York ever sung in any film.

Of course, the film breaks nearly three quarters of the way, but it's funny to see the gremlins make shadow puppets (especially the Abe Lincoln one- How on Earth did they do that?). On the other hand, the fake breaking of the film adds to the humor and is one of my favorite parts of the film.

That scene alone contributes to the rating.

Disaster Movie (2008)

Well, they got the title right...

[1/10 · 9 July 2009]

I must say that this is, without a doubt, one of the worst (if not THE worst) films I have seen. The humor is uninspired and repeated way too often. The production values are way too low, the cast, to put it lightly sucks. And they just reference movies instead of actually parodying them.

In fact, the only redeeming quality in the entire film is the Chipmunk scene. But even that couldn't save this bullsh*t excuse of a film. So all and all, I have to make this ten lines (Stupid rules). And I have to do so by adding things to this review that does not (and will not) make any sense to the general thing.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Better then the first (though not by much)

[4/10 · 25 June 2009]

I just came back from a showing of the movie (and I have a popcorn bucket to boot). And I must say that I'm impressed by it. It has Special effects better then the first and very close to anything that Pixar ever made (especially Wall-E and Up). The Action is Bigger with a capital 'B' and a huger cast of Robots. Not to mention Megatron and Starscream getting bigger roles (when comparing their appearance in this movie to the first, it makes it seem like they were just cameos in comparison).

But there are flaws abound. For example the jokes, while funny most of the time. Some of them were not really necessary to begin with.

There is a lot of sexual content in this film (including a pantie shot and *male* dogs humping each other). Not to mention the most creepiest thing of all: Devastator has (as Duke Nukem would say) BALLS of STEEL! (literally, I wish I was making this up. But it's true) Plus Wheelie (or Wheels, depending if you read the novelization) Dog humping a leg is a little creepy in itself.

Like I said at the top, the Action and the effects from Industreal Light & Magic (which make the first film's effects *also done by ILM* look like an over the top PS3 game in comparison *J/K, I still like them*) are saving graces and the hummer is pretty good for a Bay film. The Twins (i'm not sure when talking like Brooklyn people count as racialism, I'd just say stereotyping actually), Wheelie and Jetfire especially make the best of their time.

So do not give into what the critics have to say, just see it, you won't be too disappointed. But leave the kids at home.

Spawn (1997)

Uneven effects is never a good thing.

[6/10 · 28 March 2009]

Especially if it's in a comic book movie. Spawn is not an exception to this rule. It has really uneven effects in the film. The cast is alright, and the plot is close to the comic. But there's a problem. The Effects are inconstant and uneven. In the movie, Hell is portrayed as a place where cartoonish demons live. Seriously, the company hired to make the sequences (A rather unknown company known as Santa Barbosa Studios) was given no budget to do them and it show big time. They made semi-detailed models with no money and while the animation is crap, I feel pity for SBS. I feel as if they should have gotten money for their part of the film. With the money, they would have animated the Hellspawns individually and made Malbogia's mouth move. But sadly, that wasn't the case. Now it seems that ILM got the money they needed. Because the money shots of Spawn and Violator's Transformations are excellent and Violater as a whole, while in some spots lacking, is still pretty damn good.

So yeah, I liked the acting and plot, but the effects were totally uneven and the Hell sequences needed funding to do better then a PS1 game similar to the cut scenes to FF VII, only more detailed.

Barney & Friends (1992–2010)

This is a truly horrible show. Bar none!

[1/10 · 12 December 2008]

Barney is just awful. As many of the other reviews on this show say. I'm not one to disagree with them (I won't). Because I hate this show just as much as they do. They use kids that look like they're in sixth grade, cheesy plots, horrid dialog and really crappy special effects. Not to mention that big purple dinosaur himself. He makes every other kid show look like award winners (Sesame Street has won awards, that I know about).

Please, just watch Sesame Street, Thomas the Tank Engine or even the Teletubbies. Avoid both, this and its movie (which I also reviewed). They are both extremely crappy and are inappropriate to anyone (even little babies).

Teletubbies (1997–2001)

All I can say is that its better then Barney.

[2/10 · 12 December 2008]

That sums it up right there. But since IMDb wants me to make ten lines. I'll write them I guess. Anyway, the Teletubbies is a prime example that TV's gone downhill. It's like Barney, only instead of a Purple Dinosaur and a school. You have four things and a hilly area. The Teletubbies consist of Tinky Winky (A purple thing that carries a red purse *indicating his homosexuality*), Dipsy (The green one with a straight antenna) Laa-Laa (The yellow one, she has an orange ball) and Po (the red and youngest one of the group. She rides on a scooter and can Speak Cantonese). While they are pretty weird and sometimes scary. They're better then Barney. That's all I can say.

Aliens (1986)

What can I say?

[10/10 · 25 October 2008]

This has the makings of a classic. It's awesome in every way. Casting, effects and plot (simple, yet effective. Kinda like Transformers).

First is plot, since this takes place after the first film. I was thinking that it would follow the way of it's predecessor. But the movie gives us a more in-depth look of the alien (which is also referred to as the Xenomorph). Plus introduces the Alien Queen to the franchise.

Now the cast, we do have recognizable names (Of course). I won't give names like I normally would, since I want to keep this review short and simple. But they all did good jobs.

The effects are just amazing, I have more or less, nothing to say except for this: That was a bold move James Cameron did with the Alien Queen (not removing the cables and wires digitally that is).

This movie is one of the best, and I recommend that you see it (unless you hate the aliens).

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

AVP- Not Truly a Good Film

[5/10 · 24 May 2008]

This movie is sort of P.O.S (piece of sh*t) quality, but it does have a couple redeeming points. But I'll get to those. Right now is the review of AVP (Alien vs Predator):

Plot: The title pretty much explains it all. but unfortunately, we don't get to see either side until at least 45 minutes into the film (my memory is foggy). Pretty much, this movie focuses on humans instead of the famous movie creatures. Plot score- 4/10, reason- because of the freaking wait for either monster to show up.

Cast: Aside from Sanaa Lathan, Lance Henriksen, Tom Woodruff Jr. and Ian Whyte, the rest of the cast is sort of... well clunky. Not terrible, just not suited for this movie, that's all. Cast score- 6/10, reason- most of the cast is just not suited for the movie.

SFX: One plus side of this movie (aside from the cast members that I mentioned) is the special effects for this movie. Amalgamated Dynamics Inc. (ADI) did pretty well in this movie. Companies Double Negative, Cinesite, Framestore CFC and Ghost (Bionicle fans who saw this movie will recognize the commercials they did) were also good. But the one complaint I had was that the feet of the CG Aliens were not similar to the one that Woodruff's Grid costume and the stunt people playing the other ones wore. Effects score- 8/10, reason- The CG alien feet looked nothing like the costume's feet.

Overall: This movie is okay, not great or horrible, just okay. Score- 5/10 (I don't want to use a sign off today because of the long length of this review)

Meet the Spartans (2008)

Meet the Spartans- Not Good or Bad, Just Mediocre

[2/10 · 11 April 2008]

People are bashing this movie to bits. But to some of us (myself included) thought it was good. There were funny parts and there were so-insulting-it's-not-funny parts. Here is my review for Meet The Spartans:

Plot: All you need to know is that this is a parody of 300 (the main plot) with movies like Spider-Man 3, Ghost Rider and Transformers (for which I've written a review already). Show parodies of American Idol and other parodies like You Tube are in here too. There are funny parts to it, but not a lot of them-7/10

Cast: There are a few familiar faces in this movie- Carmen Electra (Epic Movie, Cheaper by the dozen 2, etc.) and Ken Davitian (Borat no less). Other then that, the cast is pretty much new to movies, but do a good job nonetheless- 6/10

Jokes: Because there's not enough SFX in this movie, I'm replacing it with jokes. You see, there were good jokes (the Bond scene, the blue screen gag, the GTA Parody, I will survive and a couple more) Jokes that didn't make too much sense, but were good nevertheless (the opening scene, The yo mama fight, Xerxestron and a few others) and some, just plain bad altogether (the deleted scenes, the Mumble/Leonidas fight, the ending *excluding the song that is* and the trailers before the movie *well duh* among others)- 8/10

Overall: I liked this movie, the cast did their best. the jokes kept coming (although some didn't make sense or were pretty bad). But overall, It ended up as mediocre- 6/10

Another review by Phil MacRae- This...Is...IMDb!

Troops (1997)

Troops- The Best (and only) Cops Parody

[10/10 · 30 March 2008]

I have seen this Star Wars/Cops spoof before I was a member of this website and I liked it. I just finished watching it for the second time in my life and I still like it. A brilliant parody if I do say so myself, So without further ado. Here is my review of Troops

Plot: It's pretty much what you'd expect on Cops, only with a Star Wars twist. The spoof focuses on a group of Stormtroopers (Hence the title)deal with a crew of Jawas and Luke Skywalker's aunt and uncle. There are quite a few funny moments in it despite being only ten minutes long. My overall score- 9.5/10 (I didn't like the fact that the creators had to cram in a lot of jokes in ten minutes instead of expanding it).

Cast: Because the creator of this short (Kevin Rubio) was working at the Fox Kids network when he was finishing it. He was able to use well known voice actors like Cam Clarke for the short. Other cast highlights includes Bill Farmer as the opening announcer, Paul Pistore as a Jawa (Voice only) and one of the ending radio dispatchers and Eric Hilleary (fans of Bionicle might recognize him from the movies as a environmental and character designer in the third and first and a Production Designer for the second) as Capt. Jyanix Bach (with Clarke as the voice actor) and as a brief (but silent) role as Boba Fett during the opening theme. Overall, the voice and normal acting cast is simply amazing- 10/10

SFX: The effects (although slightly outdated seeing that the short was made over ten years ago) are great for a fan film. The costumes look authentic and the CG stand well after the years (or I'm pretty sure it's CG). Overall score for the effects- 9/10 (They're only slightly outdated)

Overall: The plot is good, the cast is great and the effects still hold up. My score for this is a perfect 10

Another review by Phil MacRae: Whatcha gonna do when I come for you?

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

T2- One of the best movies made.

[10/10 · 23 February 2008]

I've seen the entire Terminator series and I've got to give James Cameron his props for this movie. It blends in comedy and action with not one- but two killer robots nicely. Without further ado, Here is my review of Terminator 2: Judgment Day:

Plot: The plot is simple- but is effective for this movie. The Villain from the first movie, has turned good. The movie doesn't begin in the present days either. It takes place during a War in the future. Then it cuts to the present. Where we see that a new threat (The T-1000) has come to destroy all of humanity one person at a time and until he gets John Connor. He can't fulfill it. The plot like I said earlier, is simple and effective. My score-10/10

Cast: The cast is also excellent in this movie. We have Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton returning to the movie from the first plus he also have Edward Furlong playing John Connor and Robert Patrick puts on a great show as T-1000. My score-9.5/10

SFX: I'm really impressed at the effects in this film. The guys at Stan Winston Studios and ILM outdid themselves here. The morphing effects are Photo realistic and go along nicely and don't get me started on the Trailer's practical effects either. In short, the effects might not hold a candle to todays movies. But for their time, they were awesome. My score-10/10

Overall: The movie is excellent in many different ways I mean, who else wouldn't want to see a Terminator morph into other things. My overall score-10/10

Another review from Phil MacRae: I'll be back!

Barney's Great Adventure (1998)

Barney's Dumb Adventure- There's nothing great about it.

[1/10 · 22 February 2008]

Like the majority of you, I hate Barney and do you know what I hate more than Barney? Barney's great adventure, it's like stepping in dog turd- disgusting and horrifying. I saw this movie when I was younger and liked the purple menace. I loved it, now that I look back to that. I realized something, I hated every moment of it. So here is my review of the dumb dinosaur's great adventure:

Plot: The plot is simple- Barney comes to life, He and some kids find an egg, They go all around the world using their Imaginations and unfortunately. They brought along Barney's friends- BJ and his little sister, Baby Bop. The plot is (other than that) Non existent and has over 70 minutes of general stupidity. My score-1.5/10.

Cast: The cast does earn some respect, some being well known while others are new. They do an average job but in the end, they fail big time. My score-4/10

SFX: It has come to this, the saving grace of the movie- the effects. Which are surprisingly, the same as the show itself. I mean come on man! They had $15,000,000 and they still had to resort to the show's SFX for Barney. That my friends is lame. My score- 0.5/10

Overall, the Plot sucks and the FX suck worse. The cast is good but even they couldn't save this Bombshell of a bomb. And whoever rates this movie a ten must be either out of their mind or high on drugs. My overall score for this piece of crap movie-1/10

Another review from Phil MacRae- Kicking Barney's butt up and down the street since I was five.

Transformers (2007)

Transformers- One of the best, but not without it's flaws

[9/10 · 22 February 2008]

Okay, this is my first review on this site so I'm going to warn you. This is not perfect, there will be some mistakes seeing that I'm only 14 years old. That is all, no lets get to the review.

I first heard about the movie a couple of months beforehand. But before then, I had only seen the original movie and enjoyed it. I wanted to see the movie and when I finally did sometime near the end of July/beginning of August. I had one of the best times of my life. My mom did too (We went on her birthday) and I only have one thing to say about it- WOW! Now let's get to the review shall we?

PLOT: The plot is pretty good, but for the series, it's straightforward- Robots come to Earth, Some humans befriend the good ones, the good bots (The Autobots) fight against the villains (The Decepticons). That pretty much it, but there are some thing that are added in,. For example, Megatron came first and got frozen, The villains free him and they go all Godzilla like on the Autobots for the All-Spark, destroying most of a city in the process. score-8.5/10 (If it wasn't the same formula that it was in all of the other series, I'd have given it a 9.5)

Casting: The cast was pretty good, It's a shame though that they used a new voice for Megatron (Hugo Weaving) instead of his old one. My other gripes are that no one understands what the heck Bonecrusher (Jimmie Wood) is even saying and couldn't they have gotten Keith David to do Barricade in the movie instead, that peed off many fans. The score for the cast- 9/10(I'd given this a perfect score if it wasn't for those problems)

SFX: This is where the movie shines, ILM has outdone themselves again. providing the majority of the CGI in the movie, there were also some props in the movie portraying the robots (Provided by KNB Effects and ILM-they did the Skorponok props, the head and tail in other words). My only gripe is the fact that the girl doesn't get any water on her when Ironhide (Jess Harnell) comes out of the pool. My score is 10/10 for these effects, they pulled them off nicely.

Overall: This move is a must see for TF fans as I myself enjoyed it (and I'm one too). But I have one question, why do so many people bash this movie anyways-9.9 out of a perfect 10.

Phil MacRae- Self appointed fan of Soundwave (I'm adding fun signatures at the end of my reviews just to tell you).