Reviews
Whittaker Bay (2008)
Worst. Show. Ever.
I had the unfortunate luck of catching an episode of 'Whittaker Bay' a few weeks ago while having lunch with my brother in Wilmington. i hadn't been back in a while and did not know there was an additional production in town besides 'One Tree Hill', a respectable (if somewhat irrelevant) show. We were right under the television that was showing ESPN Sportcenter which was what we wanted to watch, but the management of the restaurant decided to mute all screens not showing the subject of this review, at best described as an attempt at entertainment. So we were forced to watch. Or at least listen. Dear God in heaven. Even listening was a form of torture that is neck and neck with water-boarding in its violation of human rights and overall discomfort. The only reason water-boarding is worse is that it uses too much water. The acting is something akin to what you would find in mediocre porn. I have watched squirrels fight over an acorn with more passion and pathos that these people can muster when a major character almost dies of an overdose. Most of anyone who reads this could eat alphabet soup and poop a better script. Sound work is terrible (enough with the ambient traffic noise!! Are all the windows open when you film?!)Acting is wooden. Camera-work is repetitive, editing...what editing? and what the hell is up with that old dudes eyebrows?! Locations are great though. love me some Wrightsville Beach. 1 out of 10 since i cant give it a ZERO!
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
i laughed once...but it was a good laugh
This movie is terrible. Not in the "house of the dead" "alone in the dark" sense of the word - those movies should have their negatives burned and all copies destroyed because i think there is a significant connection between the decline of western civilization and the proliferation of Uwe Bolls career. Rather, this movie is a sci-fi-special-effects laden comedy that isn't funny, has no plot, no character development and less than impressive special effects (actually this would be a great stupid kids movie if it wasn't for the language as there aren't enough movies out there for stupid kids). There are moments where its entertaining and I enjoyed some of the banter as well as some of the effects, but the sum was far less than the parts. The one scene that I laughed at was when Jay Mohr was explaining his escape plan to Eddie, one of the dumbest escape plans in the history of bad escape plans, and Eddie just looks at him like he's a moron, not looking away for what seemed a solid 60 seconds. This joke took time to set up and someone talented to pull it off. Eddie is still talented in that he knows comedy and what can make people laugh. But for some time now all he has done are movies that are less interested in taking the time to make the joke work and more interested with throwing as much slightly amusing trash-talk at the audience as they can in 120 minutes and hope enough sticks to call itself a good comedy. If its on HBO and its raining and nothing else is on, watch and kill two hours. or don't. you wont miss much.
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Much better than "Reloaded"
Yes, reloaded and revolutions dont have quite the same magic as the original matrix. but folks, honestly, they can't. they are sequels to a sci-fi action movie that was never meant to have sequels. think about it. as much as the matrix made you think about some novel little plot device, the ending didn't sum it up for you. it left that novelty alive and open for discussion. neo flies at the end! he stops bullets in mid-air! left to the imagination of the audience, neo would then be able to do ANYTHING they could think of. now we get to see what happens and its nowhere near as cool as what we thought of when we were leaving the theater. thankfully, "revolutions" seems less forced and self inflated than the insult that was "reloaded". don't listen to the bad publicity. go see it. judge for yourself. but remember, its just a movie.
Begotten (1989)
Huh?
Although it is one of the most brilliant examples of experimental filmmaking EVER, . . . I still have no idea what the hell was going on.