The comedy segment is You Are the Author, in which the audience submits sentences for a romance novel which are strung together to make a story, "Love's Smoldering Ember". Johnny's first guests are Sandy Scholnick, Anne Barnett and Pamela Waizenegger, housewives from the San Fernando Valley. They were cited by the vice squad for gambling during their morning bowling league, generally a prize of about eight dollars. After this became public - bringing ridicule on the police - the charges were dropped. James Woods talks about his recent marriage and how he met his wife at a gas station; he also discusses his dogs, and how he appreciates their genuine attitude after his years in Hollywood. He recalls being mugged in the subway before he was successful, when he talked the mugger into letting him keep four dollars for breakfast because he had taken his last 34 dollars from his unemployment check. A clip from his film "Immediate Family" is shown. Bill Maher does a stand-up comedy routine, then chats briefly with Johnny, who asks him to repeat a joke from an earlier appearance.
—lenab9011