The Crazy Ones (TV Series)
Sydney, Australia (2013)
Robin Williams: Simon Roberts
Quotes
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Zach Cropper : [on Australia] Simon, God knows, if you're hating on something, we want to be right there with you, okay, but they gave us Naomi Watts.
Simon Roberts : Yeah, but they also gave us The Wiggles, which is only enjoyable if you're high. And what kind of message is that for kids?
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Simon Roberts : I'm ready to pitch them the truth. "Australia: it's so hot not even the Nazis wanted it".
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Simon Roberts : I've only been to Australia once but it was a doozy. It was my last big bender, when I really hit bottom. I don't remember much. It started off as a drink-about with these rugby players, next thing you know, I woke up in a Speedo on a beach in Perth, being pulled into the bush by an Eastern gray kangaroo. An aboriginal woman fought him off and then I was with her for a while, and... There's more but I don't want to bore you.
Andrew Keanelly : We're not bored!
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Simon Roberts : They want us to lower our standards!
Sydney Roberts : I once caught you drinking my nail polish remover.
Simon Roberts : I remember.
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Sydney Roberts : I may have been a little rude to him.
Lauren Slotsky : It was the ugliest thing I've ever seen. And I spent a summer interning with Japanese whalers.
Simon Roberts : That's horrible.
Lauren Slotsky : Tell me about it, none of the credits transferred.
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Simon Roberts : That's a good idea. You go there, you bump into him.
Sydney Roberts : You want me to go crawling back to my obsessed stalker, whom I just left in tears after telling him to get out of my life forever, and ask him to sell us his song?
Simon Roberts : That's a better idea. What I was thinking was way more demeaning.
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Sydney Roberts : I really wanna apologize for what I said. You know, sometimes my emotions get the best of me...
Simon Roberts : It's because of how she was raised.
Sydney Roberts : Dad!
Simon Roberts : I take full responsibility. I married a real bitch who set a poor example.
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Sydney Roberts : Wait, what did we agree to?
Simon Roberts : Well, Danny will give us the song for a reasonable price in exchange for you occasionally blowing him off.
Zach Cropper : Off. Whoo! I thought that was going in another direction.