- Pam De Beaufort: [answering the phone] Fantasia. This better be good.
- Jessica Hamby: [into the phone] Oh hi, Pam. It's Jessica Hamby. We talked yesterday. I'm the one...
- Pam De Beaufort: [cutting in] I remember you perfectly. What is it?
- Jessica Hamby: I really, desperately need your help. I don't where Bill is and gosh, you're like the only other vampire I know.
- Pam De Beaufort: Spit it out, cupcake. I'm in the middle of something.
- Jessica Hamby: [stammering] Right, um... remember how I was asking how you would, you know... what you would do if you... if you like kill somebody by accident.
- Pam De Beaufort: Did you call the hypothetical hardware store and buy a hypothetical chainsaw?
- Jessica Hamby: Yes and that's just the problem. I went to get the chainsaw and now he's gone!
- Pam De Beaufort: What?
- Jessica Hamby: I left for like 15 minutes and he just disappeared.
- Pam De Beaufort: So the problem you have is that there is no dead body in your house?
- Jessica Hamby: Uh... yeah.
- Pam De Beaufort: Doesn't sound like a problem to me. Gotta run.
- [Pam hangs up and turns to a semi-nude Yvetta sitting on her desk]
- Pam De Beaufort: Babies, they're all the same. Now, where were we? Oh, right. Just lie back sweetheart, and think of Estonia.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Speaking of which, you heard about the...
- Sam Merlotte: Mmm? Yeah! Jesus Christ - and Andy shot him?
- Sookie Stackhouse: Welcome back huh?
- Sam Merlotte: Good thing this town doesn't have many other bar options.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Do you know anyone named Jackson? It's the only thing I could make out. Maybe that's the person he's working for.
- Eric Northman: Jackson's where he lives. He had a Mississippi accent... can't you people tell the difference?
- Sookie Stackhouse: He's from Jackson? Do you think that's where Bill is? Eric, we have to go like yesterday.
- Eric Northman: I can't. Not yet. The problems of the world consist of more than finding your missing boyfriend. You shouldn't go by yourself either. These werewolves are looking for you. You're no good to Bill or to me if you are dead.
- Sookie Stackhouse: [confused] How can you stand to sit around when we finally have a lead?
- Eric Northman: It'll be morning by the time you get to Jackson. If you're planning on rescuing a missing vampire during daylight, I have seriously over-estimated your intelligence. Please take the day to think it over.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Fine. I'll leave tomorrow. I have to go. Bill would do it for me. I don't expect you to understand.
- Eric Northman: ...I understand very well.
- Sookie Stackhouse: If I do get into some kind of trouble, you'll feel it right?... How fast can you get to Mississippi?
- Eric Northman: Probably not fast enough. Stay out of trouble, Ms. Stackhouse. You'll do us both a favor.
- [leaves at vampiric spead]
- [last lines]
- Lorena Krasiki: Most impressive. You won the trust of Russell Edgington himself. A bravura performance.
- Bill Compton: I don't care what you believe. My only loyalty is to my king.
- Lorena Krasiki: Your only loyalty is to your own sentiment. It's your great failing. A century ago it was to your human wife, now some ridiculous waitress. You'll say anything to save her.
- Bill Compton: We can never love humans without bringing suffering upon them. You taught me that. And I will never forgive you for it.
- Lorena Krasiki: It's an essential truth. One you refuse to face, because you've clung to the illusion of humanity.
- Bill Compton: [grabs her by the neck] You are right! Is that what you wish to hear? You proved it to me once, and now I've learned it again! You have won. You've deprived me of my freedom. My home. My humanity. But I will never, ever love you.
- Bill Compton: [Lorena kisses him, he throws her on the bed] Never!
- Lorena Krasiki: Yes! Make love to me!
- Bill Compton: Never! I will never!
- Lorena Krasiki: [Bill rips her clothes off and has sex with her, then twists her head around a full 180 degrees] Oh William, I still love you.
- Eric Northman: You have no connections in the were community. They're not going to answer your questions, because they don't even want you to know they exist.
- Sookie Stackhouse: Bill's out there somewhere, in danger. I can't just go with life like that's not happening. You know that. Maybe better than anyone When Godric went mi...
- Eric Northman: [Eric cuts her off] Bill Compton is no Godric.
- Sookie Stackhouse: But he's everything... to me
- [Sookie sniffs]
- Eric Northman: Please don't do that. It makes me feel... disturbingly human.
- Franklin Mott: Good evening, miss, are you home alone, tonight?
- Jessica Hamby: Listen buddy, I don't know what you have in mind, but you are messing with the wrong girl.
- [Extends her fangs. He extends his own fangs, then walks in]
- Jessica Hamby: Vampires can't enter a home without an invitation.
- Franklin Mott: Human home - and the last human owner of this house died a year ago.
- Jessica Hamby: Fuck! How come nobody tells me any of this?
- Hoyt Fortenberry: [Helping Jason study] What is the rank between a sergeant and a captain in the Louisiana State Police?
- Jason Stackhouse: Skip.
- Hoyt Fortenberry: The legal blood-alcohol limit in the state of Louisiana is?
- Jason Stackhouse: When you're drunk?
- Hoyt Fortenberry: Uh, no.
- Hoyt Fortenberry: Next one
- Hoyt Fortenberry: [Distracted] Jessica says it's too late for us to be together. What do you think she means by that?
- Jason Stackhouse: Wait, that's on the test?
- Deputy Kenya Jones: Mr. Fortenberry states he was clearing the ditch to replace a drainage pipe when he located the victim.
- Andy Bellefleur: The head and hands are missing, but there's no blood, so he probably bled out before being brought to the scene. Muscle tissue shows signs of tearing rather than cutting, so it looks like our unsub just tore his head clean off. Only thing I know can do that's a vampire.
- Mike Spencer: That would explain why there's no blood.
- Sheriff Bud Dearborne: [Flatly] I quit.
- [Leaves]
- Andy Bellefleur: Hey, Bud, wait up. Where you going?
- Sheriff Bud Dearborne: Did you hear me? I *quit*. I've had it with this shit. Every time we clear one murder, two more spring up! It's like crabgrass!
- Deputy Kenya Jones: We need you to sign the report...
- Sheriff Bud Dearborne: You sign it. Or you. I don't care. Take this crap. All of it. Forty-three years and what have I got to show for it? Gaps in my brain and polyps in my ass. I don't need this horseshit!
- Sam Merlotte: [about Tommy drinking] What are you doing feeding him shots anyhow?
- Joe Lee Mickens: Listen, I've known my son a lot longer than you have. I suggest you don't tell me how to raise him.
- Melinda Mickens: Joe Lee...
- Sam Merlotte: I suggest you follow the rules in my bar.
- Joe Lee Mickens: [Stands up] You talk to me like I'm some kind of drunk.
- Sam Merlotte: Well, you are drunk.
- Tommy Mickens: Dude, you throw a punch, you are so one of us.
- Franklin Mott: Mind if I, uh, come in?
- Tara Thornton: Hell no. I got a terrible track record with letting people into this house.
- Franklin Mott: Oh, don't be that way, Tara. Tara. That is such a beautiful name.
- Tara Thornton: As far as you're concerned, my name is: "That girl from Bon Temps, huh? Wonder how she's doing. Too bad I can't get a hold of her anymore."
- Tara Thornton: I said you could bite me.
- Franklin Mott: No.
- Tara Thornton: Why not?
- Franklin Mott: Because you want me to.
- Sam Merlotte: I don't appreciate you trying to get me killed.
- Tommy Mickens: I don't appreciate you comin' into my house like you belong here... I figured since we're related you could keep up.
- Joe Lee Mickens: Don't ever get married, Sam. The second you do, that's when they start to 'woman' you!
- Jason Stackhouse: Tonight, the universe showed me my destiny. For me, that's to protect and serve the citizens of Renard Parrish. Police work ain't just about tacklin' people. There's marksmanship, para-military training... I got all that now. Let's face it. Would you feel safe with me patrolin' the streets or Andy Bellefleur?
- Caroline Compton: [opening the door with a gun trained] Who's there?... Good god in heaven.
- Bill Compton: [coming out of the shadows] Caroline, my dearest.
- Caroline Compton: The war ended three years ago... I was sure you had parrished.
- Bill Compton: I'm home now.
- [embracing her]
- Cooter: Johnson's my best goddam man.
- Talbot: They're all dumber than a box of rocks.
- Cooter: Sir, that's unfair.
- Talbot: To boxes... maybe... or rocks...
- Russell Edgington: Talbot, dear, we forgot to offer Cooter refreshment. Could you?
- Talbot: Of course.
- [Gets up off the couch, looks at Cooter]
- Talbot: Zima, correct?
- Terry Bellefleur: Spit it out, baby, you're breaking up with me.
- Arlene Fowler: NO! No, it's not, it's not...
- Terry Bellefleur: [Concluding her sentence] Not you, it's me... If I had a nickel for every time I... I'd have fifteen cents.
- Jason Stackhouse: I've heard every breakup excuse from "You're a son of a bitch, Stackhouse" to "You're a fucking asshole, Jason."
- Jason Stackhouse: Man, there are two kinds of people in this world: people who got no dreams, people who got dreams and don't do nothing about it, and people who go out and fulfill their dreams. I'm the third kind
- Hoyt Fortenberry: I'm trying to help you, but look, the website says you have to pass the written exam.
- Jason Stackhouse: You think Andy Bellefleur knows half of this sh1t? There's gotta be an easier way. Look, I'm ready now. You know? I know between good and evil. I'm like a ninja-level marksman. I got all the training I need.
- [Gets up to leave]
- Hoyt Fortenberry: You wanna know what that blood-alcohol limit is?
- Jason Stackhouse: I don't need to know it. If it's on the sample test, it's not on the real thing. Everybody knows that.
- Talbot: The Celtic tapestry was a gift from the lord of Glyndyfrdwy in 1387!
- Russell Edgington: We'll find a way to clean it up. : Or we'll put a planter or two in front of it and we'll hide the burn marks.
- Joe Lee Mickens: Always dreamed of having my own chicken shack. Right. I would call it Mickens' Chicken and Chitlin