John Lehr: Leslie

Quotes 

• Leslie : We all have things that we would be embarrassed of being released on the Internet. Carl, remember the incident with the kumquats?

  Carl : Those weren't ripe.

• Amy Anderson : Can I please speak with you in private?

  Leslie : Yeah. Okay. We'll go up to my office.

  Carl : Leave the door open.

  Leslie : Okay Carl!

  Amy Anderson : I'm a woman who has sexual needs, forgive me!

  Leslie : We're all women with sexual needs. We know what you mean.

• Leslie : [about Amy]  Look at her, she's a human being just like you.

  Ingrid : She's not. She's not a human being. She's nothing like me.

• Leslie : [to disappointed customer]  Thanks for not shopping here. Please come again.

• Leslie : [unhooded]  It's you. Where am I?

  Todd : We're not telling you where you are, man. You're in a remote location.

  Mrs. Mednick : [walks in on them]  Oh.

  Richard : Mother!

  Mrs. Mednick : Don't you kids want to sit upstairs?

  Richard : No! We're deprogramming Leslie, I told you we need privacy.

  Mrs. Mednick : Oh, you're de-pro... can I watch?

  Richard : No! Now go!

  Leslie : Richard lives with his mother!

  [busts out laughing]