Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
Craig Robinson: Delaney
Photos
Quotes
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Zack Brown : I've known her since the first grade, you don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.
Delaney : Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten, we got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.
Zack Brown : But what if you could do it all over again?
Delaney : I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.
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Zack Brown : Dude, with your cut of the profits, you're gonna get two flat screens. OK? You'll have one in your living room. You'll have one in your bathroom!
Delaney : One in the bathroom? You know, it's always been my dream to watch shit while I shit.
Zack Brown : Everyone with an ass loves to watch shit while they shit! I'm gonna make that happen for you, man.
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Delaney : What? Han Solo ain't never had no sex with Princess Leia in the Star War!
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Delaney : Her name Bubbles.
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Zack Brown : This is just the beginning, guys. If Star Whores works and *it will*, we are set up for sequels galore. The Empire Strikes Ass.
Miriam Linky : Return of the Brown Eye.
Deacon : The Phantom Man Ass.
Delaney : And Revenge of the Shit: The All Anal Final Chapter.
[awkward silence]
Zack Brown : ...okay.
Delaney : Revenge of the Shit, you got it?
Miriam Linky : No, yeah we got it.
Stacey : Ew.
Delaney : [under his breath] Fuck you, mothafuckas.
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Delaney : Sometimes, we just need someone to show us something we can't see for ourselves.
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Delaney : [to Mr. Surya] You Ben Kingsley looking motherfucker
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Delaney : I love the movies.
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Delaney : I just wanted to see some free titties, that's all. But there's no such thing as free titties, is there, Zack? Is there?
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Delaney : I like that guy, but if he tries to fuck that little dog tonight for real, I'm calling Humane Society.
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Delaney : [while seeing Bubbles and Barry shoot their scene] I'm disturbed at how turned on I am by this.