- Randy Taylor: [referring to himself and Brad] Billy's mom thinks we're perfect little gentlemen.
- Tim Taylor: Billy's mom thought she saw Elvis yesterday at the gas station.
- Tim Taylor: In a shop, tape hangs on a hook because it has a hole in it.
- Jill Taylor: So does your head, but it's not hanging on a hook.
- Mark Taylor: You know that tape measure that you could never find?
- Tim Taylor: Go ahead. Tell me, you lost it.
- Mark Taylor: No. Brad and Randy broke it.
- Tim Taylor: Good to have you back, son.