Red Dwarf (TV Series)

Balance of Power (1988)

Norman Lovett: Holly

Quotes 

• Holly : In the 3 million years we have been away, it is my fond hope that mankind has abolished war, cured all disease, and got rid of those little western saloon doors you get in trendy clothes shops.

• Holly : Jean-Paul Sartre said hell was being locked forever in a room with your friends.

  Lister : Holly, all his mates were French.

• Holly : [explaining why he brought Rimmer back as a hologram to keep Lister company]  He's the person you knew best. Over 14 million words in all.

  Lister : Holly, 7 million of those were me telling him to smeg off. And the other 7 million were him putting me on report for telling him to smeg off.

• Lister : What about Kristine Kochanski? You could have brought Kristine back.

  Holly : In your entire life, you shared conversation with her totalled 173 words.

  Lister : So?

  Holly : In terms of wordage, you actually had a better relationship with your rubber plant.

• Rimmer : Holly, as senior rank aboard this ship I order you to tell me where Lister is.

  Holly : I've told you, I can't.

  Rimmer : Holly, that's an order. You stupid, ugly goit.

  Holly : Ugly? I'll have you know I chose this face from the billions available because it happened to be the face of the greatest and most prolific lover who ever lived.

  [sticks his tongue out at Rimmer] 

  Rimmer : Really? Well he must have operated in the dark a lot.

• Lister : Holly, why Rimmer's hologram? Why did you have to bring Rimmer's hologram back? He was the most unpopular man on board this ship! I mean, he even had to organise his surprise birthday parties!

  Holly : And who should I have brought back, then?

  Lister : Anyone! Chen. Petersen. I mean, Hermann Göring would have been more of a laugh than Rimmer! I mean, OK, he was a drug-crazed transvestite but at least we could have gone dancing!