Robert Knapp: Hank Butler

Quotes 

• Hank Butler : [Anthony enters the Butler Doll Company lobby]  Come on in.

  Michael Anthony : [Entering]  Mr. Butler?

  Hank Butler : How are you, sir? Glad to see you

  [They shake hands] 

  Michael Anthony : Mr. Henry Butler?

  Hank Butler : That's right.

  Michael Anthony : Mr. Butler, my name is Michael Anthony.

  Hank Butler : It's a real pleasure to meet you, Mr. Anthony. Come on in.

  [Anthony enters the main office] 

  Hank Butler : Oh, ah, you let me show you the whole line before you make any decisions.

  [Anthony is puzzled as Butler starts pulling various dolls from the company's inventory] 

  Hank Butler : This is a very popluar number. Now... now it's real hair; you can comb it, wash it,

  [demonstrating] 

  Hank Butler : free, movable joints.

  [Places the doll into Anthony's arms] 

  Michael Anthony : Yes, indeed, but I...

  Hank Butler : If you want something really hot... Now this is our life-like, velvet skin model. Real flesh-like feel. Just hold it.

  Michael Anthony : No, I'm afraid I'm...

  Hank Butler : Don't give it another thought, Go ahead.

  Michael Anthony : [as Butler places this doll into Anthony's arms]  Oh, yes , very life-like.

  Hank Butler : [Continuing on with his suggestions]  Now here's a doll that drinks and ah...

  [Anthony's facial expression makes it seem like this doll also wets] 

  Hank Butler : Don't worry. It's not loaded.

  [More dolls for Anthony's arms] 

  Hank Butler : Then we have our, ah, costume doll - ten complete changes; a mama doll, football player doll, nun doll, our bride doll.

  Michael Anthony : Please, Mr. Butler, if you'll allow me to explain...

  Hank Butler : And we're working on a number that will not only drink and wet and cry, but will also burp after drinking milk; but, uh, we still have a few design problems. I can show you our drawings.

  Michael Anthony : NO! Please, Mr. Butler, I'm not in the market for any dolls!

  Hank Butler : Hank Butler - Not?

  Michael Anthony : I came here to present you with a gift.

  Hank Butler : Gift, huh?

  Michael Anthony : Now, if you'll just remove some of these charming ladies so I can open my briefcase.

  Hank Butler : Sure.

  [Butler takes the dolls out of Anthony's arms] 

  Michael Anthony : [Opening his briefcase]  Now, Mr. Butler, I have a cashier's check for you in the amount of $1,000,000.

  Hank Butler : In the amount of what?

  Michael Anthony : One million dollars, and the tax on it has already been paid.

  [a doll cries out Mama] 

  Michael Anthony : A most appropriate sentiment, I'm sure.

  [Removing a document from his briefcase] 

  Michael Anthony : Now, this paper, which you must sign, simply states that you agree never to tell anyone, except your wife, the exact amount of this gift or how you received it. If you should tell, you will forfeit what money remains.

  Hank Butler : It *is* a cashier's check. Who ah? That is, ah... Why would anybody...?

  Michael Anthony : The donor wishes to remain anonymous. Now if you will just sign here.

  Hank Butler : Sign?

  Michael Anthony : Yes, sign right here, if you please.

  Hank Butler : If I please? Yes, I do please.

  [Signs the agreement] 

  Hank Butler : Mr. Anthony, do I have to tell my wife about this?

  Michael Anthony : [Looking uneasy]  No, Mr. Butler, your domestic situation is entirely your own business.

  [Returns the document to his briefcase and prepares to depart] 

  Michael Anthony : The best of luck to you.

  Hank Butler : Oh, I've had my good luck, Mr. Anthony. You!

  [Anthony is about to grab the knob on the office door] 

  Hank Butler : I thank you, sir.

  [Anthony nods and smiles at Butler and departs]