Home Improvement (TV Series)

This Joke's for You (1993)

Richard Karn: Al Borland

Quotes 

• [Tim tries to conduct Tool Time without jokes, after Randy calls him a clown] 

  Al : Oh, I see. That wasn't in the plans either. While this buzzer sends thousands of volts coursing through my body while he stands back and says, "Remember the AL-amo". Then comes the uncalled for slams against my mother. How she shops in the *husky* section. How she cleared out the all-you-can-eat buffet. Just go ahead say it...

  [shouting] 

  Al : ...my mother is a big fat cow.

  Tim : [after pause]  Goodness gracious, Al.

• Tim : Thank you, I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and you all know my assistant, Al... Borland.

  Al : What's the matter, no stupid middle name? Is it my birthday?

  Tim : We don't always have to joke around, you know, this isn't Fool Time.