Home Improvement (TV Series)

This Joke's for You (1993)

Jonathan Taylor Thomas: Randy Taylor

Quotes 

• Randy : My dad's been in the hospital so much they gave him a preferred customer card.

  Tim : Yeah, one more head injury and we win a trip to Hawaii.

• Tim : I want to talk to you.

  Randy : Why didn't you just call me on the intercom? Or is it still picking up ambulance calls?

  Tim : You really bust my chops sometimes.

  Randy : Well you make it so easy, Dad.

• Randy : Did you rebel against your father?

  Tim : He died before I could be a real jerk.

  Randy : He'd be proud if he could see you now.

• Randy : Oh yeah, Dad, by the way I'm still getting the all-Spanish station through my intercom.

  Tim : Real funny. Don't quit your day job.

  Jill : That was real adult.

  Tim : Well he started it.

• Tim : For the next couple years you're not going to be yourself.

  Randy : Who am I going to be?

  Tim : A little wise guy that smarts off to people that a lot of people think is a real jerk.

  Randy : Chip off the old block, eh?

• Tim : I don't want you making jokes about my job, or about me getting hurt and screwing things up. Anything that makes me look bad.

  Randy : What is left to joke about?

  Tim : Mom.

• Tim : Guys, wanna hear something real funny about your mother?

  Randy : She's not really married to you?

  Tim : How long do you want to stay up in your room?

  Randy : Don't blame me. It was adolescence.