- Al Borland: Actually Tim, lots of masculine men wear skirts.
- Tim: I bet they all find you very attractive, Al.
- Tim: When you work like a man, it's also important to learn to play like a man. After all, all work and no play makes you just like Al!
- [the doorbell rings; Jill opens the door to Brad and a policewoman]
- Jill Taylor: Brad, what are you doing? You're supposed to be upstairs, studying!
- Brad Taylor: Mom, this is Officer Kerry.
- [they enter]
- Jill Taylor: Hi, I'm... Mrs. Taylor. Won't you come in?
- Officer Kerry: [nods] Ma'am.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [shakes Kerry's hand] Hi. Tim Taylor, Brad's father. What's the problem?
- Officer Kerry: Thank you, sir. Your son was with some older boys, throwing bricks at a greenhouse. They got away, but he was the only one we could catch.
- Jill Taylor: Was there anybody hurt?
- Officer Kerry: Ah, no. The place has been abandoned for quite some time, so I really don't think anyone will be pressing any charges.
- [Randy and Mark sit on the stairs]
- Randy Taylor: Are you gonna cuff him?
- Mark Taylor: Is Brad going to jail?
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Upstairs!
- Jill Taylor: It's bedtime, now!
- Mark Taylor, Randy Taylor: [slink upstairs] Aw, man.
- Officer Kerry: Well, he's all yours.
- [to Brad]
- Officer Kerry: Listen. I don't wanna see you causing any more trouble, do you understand?
- [Brad nods]
- Officer Kerry: Good night, folks.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Good night.
- Jill Taylor: Thank you.
- Officer Kerry: You're welcome.
- [leaves; Tim squeezes Brad's shoulder; Jill slams the door shut; they lead Brad into the living room]
- Jill Taylor: Plant your butt on that sofa and don't even think about moving. You're grounded. You are so grounded.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Who were these other kids you were with? They obviously *run* faster than you.
- [Brad lies down on the sofa]
- Jill Taylor: Well, Brad? Come on, answer him! Sit up!
- Brad Taylor: [sits up] Just some friends!
- Jill Taylor: All right, are these the same friends that dared you to put the frog in the salad?
- Brad Taylor: It was Jell-O.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: Don't get smart!
- Jill Taylor: First you sneak out *while* you are grounded, now you're breaking windows. *What* is going on with you?
- Brad Taylor: I wasn't trying to break them!
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: What, you miss science class or something? You throw a brick at a window, you expect it to *stick*?
- Brad Taylor: I was trying to throw it *over* the greenhouse.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [sarcastically] *Oh*! He was throwing it over! Well, *that's* great!
- Jill Taylor: You are *beyond* grounded. No TV, no seeing your friends, no talking on the phone!
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: And no monster truck rally.
- Brad Taylor: That's not fair!
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: What do you mean, that's not fair? I stick up for you so you can go, and what do you end up doing? Coming home with a cop!
- Brad Taylor: I'm *going* to the truck rally.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: You're going to bed!
- Brad Taylor: You can't tell me what to do.
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: [grabs Brad and drags him out of the living room] Yes, I *can* tell you what to do because that's my job. Now, go on upstairs!
- [Brad does so]
- Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: You can forget about those Fordzilla tickets 'cause I'm giving 'em to somebody else!
- Mark Taylor: [pops up from behind the counter, startling Jill] Can I bring Billy?
- Randy Taylor: [grabs Mark and yanks him away] Aw, shut up!