Home Improvement (TV Series)
Rites and Wrongs of Passage (1992)
Jonathan Taylor Thomas: Randy Taylor
Quotes
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Randy : [Tim is wearing a kilt] Hi, Mom, where's Dad?
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[the doorbell rings; Jill opens the door to Brad and a policewoman]
Jill Taylor : Brad, what are you doing? You're supposed to be upstairs, studying!
Brad Taylor : Mom, this is Officer Kerry.
[they enter]
Jill Taylor : Hi, I'm... Mrs. Taylor. Won't you come in?
Officer Kerry : [nods] Ma'am.
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : [shakes Kerry's hand] Hi. Tim Taylor, Brad's father. What's the problem?
Officer Kerry : Thank you, sir. Your son was with some older boys, throwing bricks at a greenhouse. They got away, but he was the only one we could catch.
Jill Taylor : Was there anybody hurt?
Officer Kerry : Ah, no. The place has been abandoned for quite some time, so I really don't think anyone will be pressing any charges.
[Randy and Mark sit on the stairs]
Randy Taylor : Are you gonna cuff him?
Mark Taylor : Is Brad going to jail?
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Upstairs!
Jill Taylor : It's bedtime, now!
Mark Taylor , Randy Taylor : [slink upstairs] Aw, man.
Officer Kerry : Well, he's all yours.
[to Brad]
Officer Kerry : Listen. I don't wanna see you causing any more trouble, do you understand?
[Brad nods]
Officer Kerry : Good night, folks.
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Good night.
Jill Taylor : Thank you.
Officer Kerry : You're welcome.
[leaves; Tim squeezes Brad's shoulder; Jill slams the door shut; they lead Brad into the living room]
Jill Taylor : Plant your butt on that sofa and don't even think about moving. You're grounded. You are so grounded.
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Who were these other kids you were with? They obviously *run* faster than you.
[Brad lies down on the sofa]
Jill Taylor : Well, Brad? Come on, answer him! Sit up!
Brad Taylor : [sits up] Just some friends!
Jill Taylor : All right, are these the same friends that dared you to put the frog in the salad?
Brad Taylor : It was Jell-O.
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Don't get smart!
Jill Taylor : First you sneak out *while* you are grounded, now you're breaking windows. *What* is going on with you?
Brad Taylor : I wasn't trying to break them!
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : What, you miss science class or something? You throw a brick at a window, you expect it to *stick*?
Brad Taylor : I was trying to throw it *over* the greenhouse.
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : [sarcastically] *Oh*! He was throwing it over! Well, *that's* great!
Jill Taylor : You are *beyond* grounded. No TV, no seeing your friends, no talking on the phone!
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : And no monster truck rally.
Brad Taylor : That's not fair!
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : What do you mean, that's not fair? I stick up for you so you can go, and what do you end up doing? Coming home with a cop!
Brad Taylor : I'm *going* to the truck rally.
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : You're going to bed!
Brad Taylor : You can't tell me what to do.
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : [grabs Brad and drags him out of the living room] Yes, I *can* tell you what to do because that's my job. Now, go on upstairs!
[Brad does so]
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : You can forget about those Fordzilla tickets 'cause I'm giving 'em to somebody else!
Mark Taylor : [pops up from behind the counter, startling Jill] Can I bring Billy?
Randy Taylor : [grabs Mark and yanks him away] Aw, shut up!
