Home Improvement (TV Series)

Bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble (1991)

Patricia Richardson: Jill Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jill Taylor : I thought you said it was a technical problem.

  Tim Taylor : Technically, I was the problem.

• Jill Taylor : They broke the mirror, they put in the wrong tiling, we've got a cement...

  Jill Taylor : [suddenly seeing her new whirlpool bath]  Oh, wow, wow, what's this?

  Tim Taylor : This is what will make it all worthwhile: Your new whirlpool.

  Jill Taylor : Oh, Tim, it's so beautiful. Look at the color; it's perfect.

  Tim Taylor : Not to mention seven adjustable jets, three speeds - low, medium and "who needs a man?"

• Tim Taylor : What's to think about? We've always wanted this done; they'd pay for it - let me do this for you.

  Jill Taylor : Will Al be here?

  Tim Taylor : I don't see what that has to do with anything.

  Jill Taylor : Will Al be here?

  Tim Taylor : I want you to listen to me - Al is my assistant; he assists *me*.

  Jill Taylor : Yeah, I know; will he be here?

  Tim Taylor : ...Yes.

• Jill Taylor : It wasn't you that I was mad at; it was just the remodel.

  Tim Taylor : No, no... I can't give birth. It's a problem in my gut, with a visceral thing... It's really, really hard to explain.

  Jill Taylor : ...Don't try.

• Jill Taylor : Which one of these colors do you like?

  Tim Taylor : These are different colors?

  Jill Taylor : Apricot, Peach, Cantaloupe, Loquat, and Kumquat

  Tim Taylor : We'll put 'em all together, have a fruit salad in the bathroom.

• Jill Taylor : [after Tim suggests that he remodels the bathroom]  Will Al be here?

  Tim Taylor : I don't see what that has to do with anything.

  Jill Taylor : [Sternly]  Will Al be here?

  Tim Taylor : I want you to listen to me. Al is my assistant, he assists me!

  Jill Taylor : Yeah, I know. Will he be here?

  Tim Taylor : [Hesitantly]  Yes.

  Jill Taylor : [Looking at the bathroom catalogue]  And I can have anything I want?

  Tim Taylor : Anything you want!

  Jill Taylor : What if I decided I just want you, right now?

  Tim Taylor : Well... it'll be difficult without Al here to assist me!

• Jill Taylor : [Jill is sitting in her new hottub on the back lawn]  What are we waiting for? Let's get the guys to take it up to the bathroom.

  Tim Taylor : Well, darn it Jill, the guys and I have decided NOT to take it up to the bathroom.

  Jill Taylor : Well, how are you gonna get it up there?

  Tim Taylor : [Points to the upper floor]  See that spot up there? Picture if you will, looking out of your new whirlpool tub out of a brand new greenhouse window. All we gotta do is cut a little hole in the wall there.

  Jill Taylor : [Dryly]  A little "hole", about the size of this tub?

  Tim Taylor : Just a *little* bigger than the tub!

• Jill Taylor : How could you order a tub and have no way to get it into the house?

  Tim Taylor : [Gestures with his fingers]  Because in the catalogue they're only *this* big!

• Jill Taylor : Tim, the stove won't light. What did you do to it?

  Tim Taylor : Nothing.

  Felix Myman : Oh, that was us. We had to shut the gas off.

  Tim Taylor : Why?

  Felix Myman : Well Tim, when you broke open that water main, we were afraid that you hit the gas line too, so we shut them both off to be safe.

  Jill Taylor : Should we worry?

  Felix Myman : Oh no no... it's not like you're gonna get blown up or somethin'!

• Tim Taylor : Do you remember when we got married, I promised to make you a very happy woman?

  Jill Taylor : Yeah... I'm still waiting!