Grey's Anatomy (TV Series)
Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (2005)
Chandra Wilson: Dr. Miranda Bailey
Quotes
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[Room is filled with noisy children, playing, which continues throughout the scene]
Dr. Meredith Grey : Tim Epstein, 38, fell off the roof of his house.
[One of his children is sitting on him, sticking a fake lizard to his forehead]
Tim Epstein : I was, uh, stringing Hanumas lights and a shingle came loose.
Dr. Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens : Hanumas?
Tim Epstein : Hanumas. Christmukkah. We go all out.
Dr. Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens : [Smiling] Awesome.
Mrs. Epstein : He fell twelve feet.
Tim Epstein : The good news is, my head broke my fall.
[One of the children flings a fake lizard, which hits Derek in the face, who smiles in surprise]
Dr. Meredith Grey : Uh, there are no visible deformities, but he's definitely having some focal left arm weakness.
Mrs. Epstein : He'll probably be fine. He's always been a little hard-headed.
[Tim laughs, but seems to be in pain]
Dr. Derek Shepherd : Does your head hurt when you laugh?
Tim Epstein : Is that a bad thing?
Dr. Derek Shepherd : Do you wanna follow my finger with your eyes, please?
Jake Epstein : [to Bailey] I know karate.
Dr. Miranda Bailey : [Flustered] Hmm? Uh... You know, your husband might need a little, uh, quiet, so, there's a cafeteria right down the...
Tim Epstein : No, no. Whoa. Let 'em stay. Pain or no, I don't wanna miss out on the holidays with my kids.
[Izzie is playing with the kids]
Dr. Derek Shepherd : Who would like to take Mr., uhm, Epstein down for a CT?
[Izzie's hand shoots up]
Dr. Derek Shepherd : Stevens it is.
[Izzie grins]
Dr. Derek Shepherd : [Bailey walks up to the Chief who is surveying the OR board]
Dr. Richard Webber : Anxiety attacks, aneurysms and ulcers.
Dr. Miranda Bailey : Must be December.
Patricia : Chief, Adele just called.
Dr. Richard Webber : Tell her I'm in...
Patricia : She knows your not in surgery. And she said to tell you, quote, "We are going to our niece's school pageant this morning. You have known about it for months. And after what you pulled on Thanksgiving..." and then she, started using a great many words I don't feel comfortable repeating.
Dr. Richard Webber : But I have seven surgeons on vacation...
Patricia : And there was something about "divorce".
Dr. Richard Webber : [to Dr. Bailey] You'll have to cover my ulcer excision.
Dr. Miranda Bailey : Yes, sir.
[Chief and Patricia are walking away]
Dr. Richard Webber : The woman is unreasonable. When did watching a six-year-old dressed up like a wise man become... You couldn't hang up the phone?
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Dr. Meredith Grey : I got another one for you.
[hands a chart to Dr. Bailey]
Dr. Miranda Bailey : He tried to gift wrap a 70-inch TV for his wife?
Dr. George O'Malley : Hernia?
Dr. Miranda Bailey : Strangulated. Pretty ugly.
Dr. Miranda Bailey : And you just know the wife hates TV.
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[Dr. Bailey, who is pregnant, is in the OR]
Dr. Miranda Bailey : Do not kick me.
Dr. George O'Malley : Excuse me?
Dr. Miranda Bailey : Are you kicking me under the table, O'Malley?
Dr. George O'Malley : No!
Dr. Miranda Bailey : Then clearly, I wasn't talkin' to you.
[Dr. Bailey groans, steps back from the operating table]
Dr. Miranda Bailey : [Talking to her stomach] You cannot kick me while I'm doing my job.
[Massages a spot on her stomach, Meredith and George just look at her]
Dr. Miranda Bailey : [pauses] Thank you.
[Goes back to the operating table, and resumes the surgery]
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[Izzie walks up to Alex, who is sleeping, and slaps him]
Dr. Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens : Wake up.
[Alex lifts his head up]
Dr. Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens : God. No wonder you failed your boards. What, do you expect to learn this stuff by osmosis?
Dr. Alex Karev : What are you doing here?
Dr. Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens : [sighs] I'm a farmer, okay? I've been drooling, puking, and crapping in my pants.
Dr. Alex Karev : You came here to help me study?
Dr. Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens : Well, I'm not actually crapping my pants now, am I?
Dr. Alex Karev : Why would you want to help me after what I did?
Dr. Isobel 'Izzie' Stevens : Because, it's what JESUS, would freaking do!
Jimmy Shelton : How is she?
Nadia's Mother : Is she gonna be alright?
Dr. Miranda Bailey : She lost a lot of blood, but we were able to replace it and repair the tear. She's going to require several days' observation, but she should make a full recovery.
Jimmy Shelton : Thank God.
Nadia's Mother : Thank God is right, because we're certainly not gonna thank you. We should sue you for all you're worth. We sat here, and sat here, and sat here, and sat here...
Dr. Miranda Bailey : [Quietly to George] You wanna help me out?
Dr. George O'Malley : [Quietly to Bailey] Really?
Nadia's Mother : And sat here, and watched you take patient after patient...
Dr. Miranda Bailey : [Quietly to George] You got your second chance, just don't screw it up.
Nadia's Mother : ...And made my daughter wait for three whole days for her operation. I should sue you and this whole damned hospital!
Dr. George O'Malley : Okay, yeah. You could sue us, or you could consider the possibility of just shutting the hell up.
Nadia's Mother : What did you just say to me? Did you hear what he just...
Ernie : I heard him!
Josh Shelton : You can't talk to an old lady like that.
Nadia's Mother : Where is my daughter? I'd like to see her.
Dr. George O'Malley : Well you can't. I'm her doctor, she is my patient, and this is a hospital, which is the kind of place where people could generally use a little peace and quiet. So, no. Right now, you can't see her. And I am not saying this because you threatened to sue Dr. Bailey, who spent the last several hours saving your daughter's life, saving your wife's life. I am saying this because she is my patient and she is the recovery wing of this hospital trying to recover, and visiting hours are over. So, good night. And, Merry Christmas.
[Walks away]
Dr. George O'Malley : [Bailey, with her arms folded, stares down the family]
Dr. Miranda Bailey : Interns. Too emotional. Apologies.
[Leaves]
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Dr. Miranda Bailey : Grey, Karev, cover the pit. You can expect all sorts of holiday idiocy sooo... that is my gift to you.