The Golden Girls (TV Series)

On Golden Girls (1985)

Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak

Quotes 

• Rose Nylund : This is like "The Long Day's Journey Into Light".

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : "Night", Rose.

  Rose Nylund : 'Night, Dorothy.

  [goes off to bed] 

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma I do not snore.

  Sophia Petrillo : Please I had to roll you over so you wouldn't inhale the drapes.

• Blanche Devereaux : Whatever will we do with him for two weeks?

  Rose Nylund : Oh there are plenty of things to do down here. We can take him to Disneyworld, the Seaquariam, the Everglades, Rambo.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Rambo?

  Rose Nylund : The movie, with Sly Stallone.

  Sophia Petrillo : I sat through it twice, you'll love it, he sweats like a pig and he doesn't put his shirt on.

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : You know, we haven't slept together since I was a little girl.

  Sophia Petrillo : Thank God.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I used to get into your bed whenever I had that dream about the bear.

  Sophia Petrillo : Yeah, the bear dream.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I hated that dream.

  Sophia Petrillo : A bear is eating you, what's to love? You were so cute, you were always so polite when you woke me.

  [deep voice] 

  Sophia Petrillo : Mommy, I'm having a bad dream, can I come in?

• David : Why should I stay here when I have all this crappy stuff to do? And nobody likes me anyway.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : You know first of all buddy boy, life is FULL of crappy stuff to do; it's everywhere so you better get used to it, the president has crappy stuff to do. Second of all your grandmother happens to like you, my mother likes you, she doesn't hit anyone unless she really cares, take it from me, and I like you.

• David : You know this really stinks, what am I supposed to do for the next two weeks? Just sit around and listen to your arteries harden?

  Blanche Devereaux : [gasps]  David, you stop that.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : You know something, I'm having a real problem with your attitude.

  David : Oh yeah? Well you can all just kiss my attitude.

  [Sophia hits him, applause from the audience] 

• Blanche Devereaux : I don't see how doing all these chores is going to make him feel loved.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Look Blanche, the one thing David has never had in his life is structure. Now doing chores will give him a little responsibility, he might even start feeling good about himself.

  Blanche Devereaux : And start hating me if I make him do all this.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Now look Blanche, you do what is best for David, not what is easiest for you.

• Blanche Devereaux : [Rose talks about boys and girls having chores on the farm]  But you grew up in the country, David's a city boy.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh come on Blanche, I'm from New York, I did chores: I made the beds, I washed the dishes, scoured the pots, cleaned the bathroom, folded the laundry, took out the garbage.

  Sophia Petrillo : My my, did you attend a military school?

  Blanche Devereaux : No, she lived with me!

• Blanche Devereaux : I guess when I was little I didn't have to do anything. And I raised my daughter the same way, so that's why David is the way he is now, so it's all my fault.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh now Blanche you can't blame yourself for David.

  Blanche Devereaux : You're right, it's my mother's fault, I'm going to give him this list and see that he gets started right away.

• Blanche Devereaux : [on the phone with Janet]  If you don't straighten up and give that boy the love and attention he deserves, I will kick your upty butt till hell won't have it again!

  [hangs up] 

  Blanche Devereaux : She'll call us right back, she has to wake the Yankee.

  Rose Nylund : Well done, Blanche!

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh absolutely, nice bluff.

  Blanche Devereaux : That was no bluff, I meant every word of it. I'd love the chance to raise David, I might make up for the mistake I made with Janet.