The Golden Girls (TV Series)

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Sophia? (1990)

Betty White: Rose Nylund

Quotes 

• Dorothy Zbornak : [after Sophia leaves to join a convent]  God, I miss that woman. Say what you want about her, we all loved having her around.

  Rose Nylund : I miss someone to have a chat with at midnight.

  Blanche Devereaux : You know what I'm gonna miss most about Sophia? The way she used to tease me. The way she would ever-so-subtly jab me with names like, 'Tramp', 'Floozie', 'Trollop', 'Harlot', 'Magic Carpet Ride'.

  Rose Nylund : [everyone joins in the fun]  'The Human Luge'.

  Dorothy Zbornak : But she was never cuter than when she simply called you, 'Shore Leave'.

• Sophia Petrillo : I've always had a dream, a very private dream, one I never talked about. When I was growing up, I wanted to join the convent. Well, until I was seventeen.

  Rose Nylund : What happened then?

  Sophia Petrillo : [to Dorothy]  Your father put his hand in my blouse.

  Blanche Devereaux : So?

  Sophia Petrillo : So, I felt soiled, filthy, dirty. You know, in love.

• Rose Nylund : Well, you're not gonna believe this. I've just been talking on the 'phone for a half hour, and guess what?

  Blanche Devereaux : You forgot to dial first?

  Rose Nylund : No.

  Dorothy Zbornak : You held the receiver upside down.

  Rose Nylund : Huh-uh.

  Dorothy Zbornak : It wasn't even the 'phone, it was the TV remote control.

  Rose Nylund : No.

  Blanche Devereaux : A shoe?

  Rose Nylund : Blanche, please, I'm not an idiot... The TV has a remote control?