The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (TV Series)
Striptease for Two (1992)
James Avery: Philip Banks
Quotes
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Philip Banks : [to Will and Carlton] I wanna know what excuse you two have for pulling such a stupid stunt.
Carlton Banks : We needed the money.
Philip Banks : For what? And I want the truth.
William 'Will' Smith : All right, it's like this, Uncle Phil. See, Carlton got this inside tip on a stock.
Philip Banks : Federal offense. Go on.
William 'Will' Smith : Then we pawned Aunt Viv's bracelet to get the money for the stock.
Philip Banks : Grand larceny. Impressive.
William 'Will' Smith : Then, we lost the money, so we had to strip to get the bracelet back.
Philip Banks : That would be indecent exposure. Is there more?
Carlton Banks : I'm afraid so, Dad. We never got the clasp fixed on Mom's bracelet.
Philip Banks : [starts to laugh] You never got...
[Will and Carlton laugh with him]
Philip Banks : I don't know what to say!
[They laugh harder]
Philip Banks : What can I do? What do you boys think I should do?
William 'Will' Smith : I don't know, reward us for our honesty?
[Will, Carlton and Philip laugh]
William 'Will' Smith : Hey, it worked for the Beav!
Philip Banks : The Beav!
[They all laugh harder... until Philip bursts to his feet]
Philip Banks : DO I LOOK LIKE A WHITE GUY NAMED WARD? Now you get that bracelet back and, for the next six weeks, I don't want to hear you *breathe*, or I'm calling the Feds myself!
[Philip storms out]
William 'Will' Smith : I-I guess this probably ain't the best time to tell him we ran over the mailbox.
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Philip Banks : This is a delicious meal, Geoffrey. You've outdone yourself.
Geoffrey : You're too kind, sir. Moron! Fat head!
Vivian Banks : Geoffrey, must you listen to the Dodgers game during dinner?
Geoffrey : I'm terribly sorry, madam, but it's the bottom of the 9th, bases are loaded. However, I shall maintain my professionalism. Bunt, you pasty-faced sod!
Vivian Banks : Geoffrey, start buffing the silverware.
Geoffrey : What the hell is your problem? You got bricks up your butt, you clown? Right away, madam.