- Willie Tanner: Our alien is hooked on gossip magazines. That sounds like a headline *from* one of them.
- Kate Tanner: [chuckles] Well, be thankful that he likes that magazine. That actually keeps him quiet for 30 minutes at a time.
- ALF: [screams]
- [thud]
- Kate Tanner: Thirty seconds... at a time.
- ALF: Willie, do I look alright?
- Willie Tanner: You look fine, ALF. You look just as fine as the last 29 times you asked me.
- Betty Susla: In all my years with traveling freak shows I've never seen anything like you.
- ALF: Likewise.