Wild Hogs (2007)
Martin Lawrence: Bobby Davis
Photos
Quotes
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Dudley Frank : [upon seeing Maggie] She is perfect.
Doug Madsen : You like the waitress?
Dudley Frank : Oh, man. I wanted to say something funny to her, but all I could think of was black jokes.
Bobby Davis : Like which ones?
Dudley Frank : I forget.
Bobby Davis : Why don't you tell the one that ends with you getting your ass whooped.
Dudley Frank : Would that be funny?
Bobby Davis : I'll be laughing. Oh, I'll be cracking up.
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Doug Madsen : Ooh boy, my ass is sore.
Dudley Frank : Mine too, its Woody's fault for riding us so hard yesterday. The human body wasnt made to stradle something that big for that long.
Woody Stevens : Well ya know its gonna hurt a little bit but that's all part of the experience. Its why we didnt bring our wives.
Bobby Davis : Wut da...? What the hell? Someone wanna explain to me why I'm the one in the dirt? When I got sore jaws from 3 hours of blowin...
[notices Highway Patrolman]
Highway Patrolman : Please... Please, for the love of God, finish your sentence.
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Charley : Needless to say, we don't carry firearms anymore. Sometimes you pull them out and think they're not loaded, and...
Bobby Davis : You blow your deputy's ear off.
Charley : Yeah.
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Doug Madsen : Well, what has your wife ever made us?
Bobby Davis : Hard.
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Mother-in-Law : In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis : In your day, men were busy building pyramids! How long ago was that?
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Dudley Frank : Thanks, Woody, I feel really safe with you.
Woody Stevens : I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!
Dudley Frank : I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.
Woody Stevens : I felt you smell my neck!
Bobby Davis : Did you smell that man's neck?
Dudley Frank : His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.
Bobby Davis : A lawyer cowboy?
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Bobby Davis : [after being called out by Jack] Anyone else getting that pre-rape feeling?
Red : [grinning] I do.
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Jack : I knew you assholes the minute I laid eyes on you! Look at the four of you!
Doug Madsen : You don't know us.
Jack : [to Doug] You think I don't know you? You're probably a... podiatrist or an ear-, nose-, and throat-specialist.
Doug Madsen : I wish.
Jack : An orthadontist?
Bobby Davis : Close enough.
Jack : [turns to Bobby] Bobby, guarantee you're hen-pecked! The wife wears the pants!
Bobby Davis : You know my wife?
Jack : [to Dudley] And you, no luck with women. I guarantee you bag your own shit.
Dudley Frank : Wow, you're good. What color am I thinking of?
Jack : Shut up!
[turns to Woody]
Jack : And you, you're the biggest poser of them all... aren't ya, Squinty! Go home!
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Doug Madsen : Did you ever wake up one morning and wonder what happened to your life?
[Woody nods his head]
Doug Madsen : You know, I thought my life would be an adventure. All of a sudden, I'm a suburban dentist.
Bobby Davis : Look, Doug, I feel your pain, man. I mean I swore I would never return to a job where I had to where condoms on my shoes.
Woody Stevens : You're still at The Firm?
Bobby Davis : Yea. I get yelled at by an ungrateful wife. I swear the whole thing has made me...
Doug Madsen : ...a wimp.
Bobby Davis : I was gonna say miserable.
Bobby Davis : [pause] What? You think I'm a wimp?
Doug Madsen : No, I thought you were gonna say wimp, so I'd thought I'd say it for you.
Woody Stevens : You're a wimp, Bobby. I'll say it. I mean you're afraid of women. It's kinda embarrassing.
Dudley Frank : I'm afraid of women.
Woody Stevens : You're afraid to talk to women. Bobby's afraid they'll kill him in his sleep.
[Doug and Woody laugh]
Dudley Frank : Wow... now I'm really afraid of women.
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Bobby Davis : You call The Firm?
Clerk : Yeah, men's room. Some trucker musta crapped a whole cow in there. Good luck.
Bobby Davis : [turns to leave]
Clerk : I didn't want to give him the key, but I didn't trust my instincts.
Bobby Davis : [turns to leave]
Clerk : I saw my father shot. I never cry until today.
Bobby Davis : [turns to leave]
Clerk : I got robbed yesterday. And now I know: you have the bad job.
Bobby Davis : Yeah...
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Bobby Davis : Sorry, Woody, about your situation. But you're a lying asshole. That's like an asshole's asshole.
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Bobby Davis : You called The Firm?
Clerk : Some truck driver must have crapped an entire cow in there, man. Good luck. I knew in my gut not to let him go, but I didn't trust my instincts. I saw my father shot, but I did not cry till today. I was robbed yesterday, and I know now, your job is the bad one.
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Bobby Davis : I think we better get out of here.
Woody Stevens : No, we'll get out of here at sundown after we've had our beverage.
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Woody Stevens : Come on, let's go!
Doug Madsen : What's your rush?
Woody Stevens : Come on, man, it's the open road. Riding free, that's the rush! This isn't freedom, this is a gas station built by the man, a prison for our souls!
Bobby Davis : my soul needs something to drink.
Dudley Frank : We'll get gas at the next station, come on Wild Hogs! Let's go! Woo-hoo!
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[last lines]
Doug Madsen , Dudley Frank , Bobby Davis , Woody Stevens : Wild Hogs!
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Doug Madsen : Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!
Bobby Davis : Madrid.
Woody Stevens : Spain?
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Woody Stevens : The trip is over because some tattooed bullies pushed us around?
Doug Madsen , Bobby Davis : Yeah.
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[after Woody has slapped a bull, Doug goes out to also slap it]
Earl Dooble : Yeah, and we never seen it done twice in a row.
Woody Stevens : What?
Earl Dooble : It'll be interesting to see how the bull takes being slapped now that he's alert.
Woody Stevens , Bobby Davis : Alert?
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Bobby Davis : Hey, did y'all see my moves? I was shaking and baking just like the NFL, baby! You hear what I'm saying? I delivered it right to the end zone!
[bull charges and hits Bobby, knocking him into the air]
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Woody Stevens : [jumps in the water naked, shivering] Whoa, that's cold!
Woody Stevens : Why are you naked?
Dudley Frank : I thought we were doing this wild and free thing. You guys kept your skivvies on?
Doug Madsen : Yeah, there might be snappin' turtles or somethin'.
Bobby Davis : I kept mine on because I didn't want it to get dark in here!