Arrested Development (2003–2019)
Alia Shawkat: Maeby Fünke, Shaman Sheman
Photos
Quotes
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Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Do you guys know where I could get one of those gold T-shaped pendants?
Michael : That's a cross.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Across from where?
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Mae 'Maebe' Funke : [noticing Tobias dressed in all leather] Didnt you get a job or something?
Tobias Fünke : No, no I didnt. Unless... you consider "World's Coolest Daddy" a job.
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Maebe : So, you killed Kitty, huh?
Michael : No, I did not kill Kitty. However, I am going to oblige and answer the nice officer's questions because I am an honest man with no secrets to hide.
[whoops and hollers heard from the conference room]
Michael : And apparently, a fun one. Why don't we go see what's going on in the back, shall we?
Maebe : Were those the last words Kitty ever heard?
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Maebe : All Pop-Pop ever wanted was to see you with another man besides Daddy.
Lindsay Funke : You're right. I'll just throw on a skirt, take off my underwear and make your Pop-Pop proud.
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Tobias Fünke : So fill each one of these bags with some glitter, my photo resume, some candy, and a note.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : [reading one of the notes] "I know where you live, ha, ha." Casting directors hate this.
Narrator : They really do.
Casting Director : [shows a casting director's office] The glitteratti has struck again.
[reading the resume]
Casting Director : Never hire Tobias Funke.
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Lindsay Funke : I hate to say it, but Michael might be right. You need to learn a little discipline.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Hmm. Nope. That doesn't feel right.
Lindsay Funke : No, no, no. I am telling you. You are now punished. I punish thee.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Are you serious? What could you possibly come up with that would punish me?
Lindsay Funke : Oh, I have to come up with another thing?
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[repeated line]
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Marry me.
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[repeated line]
Maebe : That was a freebie.
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Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Do you remember that French film we snuck into? Dangerous Cousins?
George Michael Bluth : No, actually, I dont remember it.
Narrator : In fact, George Michael knew the movie very well. He currently had a copy of the DVD hidden in his sock drawer.
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Mae 'Maebe' Funke : You and I are so different. It's like we're not even related.
[she leaves]
George Michael Bluth : That would be amazing.
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[George Michael and Maeby are searching through the Bluth company files illegally]
George Michael : Fingerprints? You said they wouldn't be taking fingerprints.
Maebe : No, I said don't wear your mittens.
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George Michael Bluth : Oh, my God. It's your mom and gangee.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : What are they doing here?
George Michael Bluth : They're adults. They're allowed to have fun whenever they want. We're kids, we're supposed to work.
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Mae 'Maebe' Funke : It all adds up. He stole somebody's hair, made a wig, knocked out the guard, tunneled his way through a sewer line, and then stopped to get a candied apple on his way to Mexico.
George Michael Bluth : Of course.
[pause]
George Michael Bluth : You're mocking me.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Of course.
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Steve Holt : [reading the cast list for Tobais's play] STEVE HOLT.
Maebe : STEVE HOLT.
George Michael Bluth : I'm a stand-in for...
Steve Holt : [interrupting] STEVE HOLT.
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George Michael Bluth : What's with Steve Holt and your mom?
Maebe : Oh, I gave him the impression that she was a tranny.
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Maebe : [as Surely] No more BS. No more BS.
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Mae 'Maebe' Funke : I'm going to start acting like a kid now.
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George Michael Bluth : [after hearing that Steve Holt and Lindsay have a lunch date] Steve Holt? I thought you liked him.
Maebe : I do, I'm crazy about him. He only talks to her because he thinks she has a penis. Oh, I told him that she was a tranny.
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Maebe : [upon Steve Holt asking Maebe to dance] Steve Holt.
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Lindsay Funke : Dr. Funke's 100% Natural Good Time Family Band solution was a nightmare.
Michael : Tobias said it was some of the most fun your family has ever had.
Lindsay Funke : Yeah, well, I was whacked on Xanotab.
Michael : Well I thought Xanotab was supposed to make everything better.
Lindsay Funke : For fifteen minutes. Then it burns when you pee and your marriage goes to hell. It's not a good supplement. Besides, Maebe wont do it.
Mae 'Maebe' Funke : Let's do it. I want to reunite the band. That was some of the best times we've ever had.
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Steve Holt : Your mom seems pretty cool.
Maebe : That's not my mom.
Steve Holt : ...but she said you were her daughter.
Maebe : His daughter. It's my dad.
Steve Holt : That's a dude?
Maebe : And the worst part is? He thinks he's passing.
