Wonderfalls (2004)

Kellie Waymire: Penelope

Quotes 

• Penelope : The birds are traumatized. And now they have nobody to talk to.

  Jaye : Those birds talk?

  Penelope : They talk to me.

  Jaye : [nods] 

  Penelope : You wouldn't understand.

  Jaye : [whispers to herself]  I wish I didn't.

• [waiting for the 2 birds to mate] 

  Aaron Tyler : They're not doing anything.

  Penelope : They will. Be patient. We've created the perfect mating evironment.

  Mahandra McGinty : You don't suppose they're waiting for the five giants to stop leering at them, do you?

  Jaye : She's toying with him. Look at her. What a tease.

  Eric : Seems like she's ignoring him.

  Jaye : It's a ploy. She's making him want her more. That way he won't see it coming when she bites his head off.

  Penelope : Birds don't do that. Although in some species of praying mantis, the female eats the male headfirst during mating.

  Jaye : God! Love can be cruel.

  Eric : ...and beautiful.

  Jaye : ...but cruel. I mean, I'm not saying it's her fault. She can't help what she is. But look at that beak. It was made for pecking.

  Penelope : That's the male.

  Jaye : Whatever! Point is, the only thing endangered here is Humphrey's heart. God. Why doesn't he just run? Run, Humphrey, run!

• Savage : I have to say, I never did expect those birds to mate. I'm still amazed.

  Penelope : Does that mean I get my job back?

  Savage : Are you kidding? You're still fired.

  [he leaves] 

  Jaye : Hey. Cheer up. At least they're doing it. That's what you wanted, right?

  Penelope : Yeah. I guess.

  Jaye : What do you mean, "I guess"? I've never seen anyone work so hard to get someone else laid in my entire life. You're like the total mack daddy bird pimp.

  Penelope : [confused]  Thank you?

  Jaye : See how happy they are?

  Penelope : Uh-huh. And I know I should be too but I'm not sure I am.

  Jaye : Again, I go back to the working really hard to get someone else a piece thing. The payoff is never gonna be as great for you as it is for them. Don't you think you've been using these birds to avoid interacting with your own species for long enough?

  Penelope : Do you think that's what I do?

  Jaye : I do, yes. Yes, I do. I mean, human interaction is scary. And it's unpredictable and you have to interact with other, well, humans. And that's always messy. You're probably scared, and that's why you're using your animals as an excuse to avoid risk.