Freaky Friday (2003)
Lindsay Lohan: Anna Coleman
Photos
Quotes
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Anna (in Tess's body) : I'm old!
Tess (in Anna's body) : I beg your pardon!
Anna (in Tess's body) : Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!
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Tess (in Anna's body) : Honey. Look, I think something's happened to us.
Anna (in Tess's body) : What are you?
Tess (in Anna's body) : It's me, Mom.
Anna (in Tess's body) : You're not my mother!
Tess (in Anna's body) : Yes, I am.
Anna (in Tess's body) : Get away, you clone freak!
Tess (in Anna's body) : Don't you use that tone with me!
Anna (in Tess's body) : Oh my God, you are my mother!
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Tess (in Anna's body) : And what are you doing with this?
[grabs box of french fries]
Anna (in Tess's body) : I'm eating.
Tess (in Anna's body) : You cannot eat fast food.
Anna (in Tess's body) : Why not?
Tess (in Anna's body) : Because it will go down your throat and drop instantly to my thighs!
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Tess (in Anna's body) : We'd like to speak to you about something that we think happened to us at your restaurant.
Anna (in Tess's body) : Yeah, something that SUCKS.
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Tess (in Anna's body) : Mr. Bates, may I please speak with you?
Mr. Bates : I think that would be fairly pointless, but go ahead.
Tess (in Anna's body) : By what stretch of the imagination... I mean, like, how could I, like, get an "F"? What mistakes did I make?
Mr. Bates : Grading is subjective.
Tess (in Anna's body) : That was a college-level analysis.
Mr. Bates : And you're qualified to make that assessment?
Tess (in Anna's body) : I most certainly am.
Mr. Bates : Well in the words of Hamlet, "What's done is done".
Tess (in Anna's body) : That's "Macbeth" you know-nothing twit. Bates. Elton Bates. Griffith High School.
Mr. Bates : How do you know that?
Tess (in Anna's body) : Well, you asked me, I mean, my mom to the prom, but she turned you down.
Mr. Bates : This is not an appropriate subject.
Tess (in Anna's body) : You're taking it out on her daughter, aren't you?
Mr. Bates : I don't know what you're talking about.
Tess (in Anna's body) : It was a high school dance. You've got to let it go and move on, man. And if you don't, I'm sure the school board would love to hear about your pathetic vendetta against an innocent student.
Tess (in Anna's body) : [Anna is about to leave the classroom and turns] Oh, and by the way, Elton, she had a boyfriend, and you were weird.
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Tess (in Anna's body) : You pierced your navel?
Anna (in Tess's body) : Yeah, I... meant to talk to you about that.
Tess (in Anna's body) : When did you do this?
Anna (in Tess's body) : At Maddie's cousin's sweet 16.
Tess (in Anna's body) : Well, when you get your body back, it's grounded.
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Tess (in Anna's body) : I look like Stevie Nicks.
Anna (in Tess's body) : Who's he?
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Anna (in Tess's body) : It's easy to be you. I'll just suck the fun out of everything.
Tess (in Anna's body) : I do not suck the fun out of everything.
Anna (in Tess's body) : Fun-sucker.
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Anna : You're ruining my life!
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Tess (in Anna's body) : Role-playing! Her idea. New therapeutic technique. Switching points of view.
Grandpa : If I switch with Harry, do I have to wear a thong?
Harry : [mocking Grandpa] Earthquake. Save me. Earthquake.
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Tess (in Anna's body) : She is dead, worse than dead. She will spend the next year in a phoneless, dateless, Amish existence!
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Anna (in Tess's body) : So you're in my body, and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like...
Tess (in Anna's body) : Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt! Okay, you go over there, and I go over here. Okay, when I say go. Ready? Go!
[they both run at and crash into each other and fall to the ground while Harry walks into the room]
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Anna (in Tess's body) : Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room.
Tess (in Anna's body) : Oh no! All that will get us is a 72-hour lockdown in a psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.
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Anna (in Tess's body) : [Coming back from Anna's audition, Tess looks at Ryan and begins tearing up] Mom, what's wrong?
Tess (in Anna's body) : I need you to do something for me.
Anna (in Tess's body) : Sure, Mom, after, after what you just did for me. Anything.
Tess (in Anna's body) : It needs to happen now before all the toasts and speeches.
Anna (in Tess's body) : Okay.
Tess (in Anna's body) : Clearly, we're not switching back tonight. I need you to tell Ryan that you need to postpone the wedding.
Anna (in Tess's body) : [Shocked] What?
Tess (in Anna's body) : No, listen. I can see you're not ready for this and I can wait. I guess that I was just so happy, I wasn't thinking about what's best for you and Harry.
Anna (in Tess's body) : But, but, but, Mom...
Tess (in Anna's body) : - If he loves me like I think he does, he'll wait, too. He'll understand. He'll be very sweet and gracious about it. But, please...
[Crying a little more]
Tess (in Anna's body) : ... just, please let him know that I love him and be as kind as you possibly can... for me.
Anna (in Tess's body) : [Understanding] Okay, Mom. I know exactly what to say.
Tess (in Anna's body) : I'll be along in a minute.
[Anna - Tess's body - walks over to the head table, while, Tess - in Anna's body - stands back for a minute to let a few tears]
Anna (in Tess's body) : [to Ryan] Um, you should sit down.
[Ryan sits down, where Anna - in Tess's body - picks up a glass and rings it to gain the attention of the whole party]
Anna (in Tess's body) : Uh, hi. Um, I, I guess I, I'm gonna start the toasts.
[Tess, in Anna's body, looks confused]
Anna (in Tess's body) : So, 3 years ago, we had a really bad thing happen. We lost a Father and a Husband, and I didn't think we'd ever get over it. But then, this guy, next to me, came into the picture and everyone could see that I was happy again. I was singing in the shower again, not well, I might add...
[Everyone laughs]
Anna (in Tess's body) : ... But I was still worried about my kids, Anna and Harry, whether or not they would be able to accept a new man in their life. And now I know how Anna feels. And what she feels is that...
[Anna's emotion begins to build]
Anna (in Tess's body) : ... No one could ever take the place of her Dad...
[Voice breaking, tears coming in]
Anna (in Tess's body) : ... Because he was a really great Dad. But somebody could be a part of a new family in its own kind of cool, new little unit and that, for someone as special as Ryan, that we would all make a little more room. Anna would really wanted her Mom to know that.
[the room begins to shake in the style of an earthquake with Anna and Tess switching back to their own bodies]
Anna : [Overjoyed to be back in her own body,] And I am so psyched to be here. I guess...
[Walks down the steps, grabs a glass of water from a waiter]
Anna : ... all I'm trying to say is, Ryan, welcome to our family.
[Raising her glass of water]
Anna : To the Bride and Groom.
[Everyone applauds]
Ryan : [In Tess's ear] What the Hell just happened?
Tess : Trust me, you don't wanna know.
[They kiss]
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Tess (in Anna's body) : I don't believe in physical contact with the opposite sex. At all. Ever. Nothing.
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Detention Monitor : Hello, Anna. What do you have today?
Anna : Meat loaf.
Detention Monitor : Turkey.
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Detention Monitor : All right, let's all take our seats for the test.
Stacey Hinkhouse : Sit with me?
Tess (in Anna's body) : Communication. That's all it takes.
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Anna : Mr. Bates, I really don't understand this "F".
Mr. Bates : You completely missed the point of the book.
Anna : It's "1984". How could anyone miss it? It's a blatant attack on totalitarianism. About a rigid society, dominated by one all-powerful, ego-tripping dictator.
Mr. Bates : My grade is final.
Anna : Except he had hair.
Mr. Bates : Anna!