Jungle 2 Jungle (1997)
Tim Allen: Michael Cromwell
Photos
Quotes
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Michael Cromwell : [showing Mimi how to use the toilet] Before you pee, you lift the seat; after you pee, you put the seat back down. Females in tribe start war over this. Many deaths.
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Mimi-Siku : [after being out on the windows with Michael] Baboon scared?
Michael Cromwell : Yes, Baboon scared. Baboon not know he could *be* so scared. Baboon's pants a little damp.
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[Richard, Michael and Mimi exit Jovanovic's office]
Michael Cromwell : Richard, are you out of your mind? Now we're laundering money for the Russian mafia?
Richard Kempster : Yes, we are, and we'll iron it for them too.
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[Michael and Richard are aguing about being a parent, while Richard tries to get Karen out of her room]
Richard Kempster : Oh, what? Are you suddenly Dr Spock here? You've been a father for three days. And you're giving me lessons? Well, that's good.
Michael Cromwell : You sound like an idiot.
Richard Kempster : I'm a parent! Therefore, I'm an idiot! I have spent every day for the last 12 years worrying about my kids. About their safety, about their happiness, about their crooked teeth.
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Dr. Patricia Cromwell : His name is Mimi-Siku.
Michael Cromwell : His name is what?
Dr. Patricia Cromwell : Mimi-Siku.
Michael Cromwell : Mimi-Siku.
Dr. Patricia Cromwell : Roughly translated it means 'cat piss'.
Michael Cromwell : He picked the name 'cat piss'?
Dr. Patricia Cromwell : He was six years-old at the time! It's a territorial thing.
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Michael Cromwell : I should probably take some pictures of Mimi.
Richard Kempster : I can never have enough pictures of my kids. I have like, four hundred albums. I never look at them, but they exist... it's good, you know?
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Michael Cromwell : [sees Lipo Lipo for the first time]
Michael Cromwell : Oh my God. She left me for Gilligan's Island.
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Michael Cromwell : Do you mean to tell me that you are walking around New York City with A MILLION DOLLARS IN A SUITCASE?
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Mimi-Siku : [pointing to toucan in flight] A hoko!
Michael Cromwell : Hoko. Hoko, bird. Bird that can't sing: Hoko Ono.
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[after Michael and Mimi depart from a taxi cab]
Michael Cromwell : We're meeting this guy at a fish stall?
Richard Kempster : No, no. He is ABOVE a fish stall.
Michael Cromwell : Much better!
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Mimi-Siku : [after Mimi-Siku suggests they eat Coco the cat] Cat's job feed people.
Michael Cromwell : No, not here. Here, cat's job is to sleep, lick crotch.
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Mimi-Siku : In Lipo Lipo, we eat with hands.
Michael Cromwell : In New York, New York, we eat with forks.
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Michael Cromwell : [offered bat bladder in Lipo Lipo] Bat bladder? Holy kaopectate; I don't think so.
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Michael Cromwell : What do you call this place again? The Surface of the Sun!
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Michael Cromwell : [throws piraña] Cut. Infection. DEAD!
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Mimi-Siku : If you scream, Matika attack. If you calm, Matika nice. But Kukuve always mean.
Michael Cromwell : Who's Kukuve?
[Mimi-Siku points to the local alligator in the water; Michael runs out of the water in a panic]
Michael Cromwell : This place is a nightmare!
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[after the blow dart hits the Coco the cat by accident as it falls from the table]
Michael Cromwell : [low voice] Oh, no...