Photos
Quotes
-
Agent Bork : Chief, you know that guy whose camper they were whacking off in?
Agent Fleming : Bork, you're a Federal Agent. You represent the United States government. Never end a sentence with a preposition.
Agent Bork : Oh, uh... You know that guy in whose camper they... I mean, that guy off in whose camper they were whacking?
-
[after apprehending Butt-head]
Agent Fleming : Agent Hurly, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search. I'm talking Roto-Rooter. Don't stop until you reach the back of his teeth.
-
Agent Fleming : Give us the unit!
Beavis : Why does everybody want to see my schlong?
-
Tom Anderson : [Anderson drives by] Something wrong, officer?
ATF Agent : [holds up picture of B&B] Sir, we're looking for these two fugitives.
Tom Anderson : Well, I'll be danged. That's them two kids that have been whacking in my camper.
ATF Agent : You saw these two?
Tom Anderson : I sure did. Boy, I've never seen two kids do so much damned whacking.
ATF Agent : [on walkietalkie] This is post 9, I have positive ID.
Tom Anderson : Boy, they're just like a couple of little old spidermonkeys, I tell ya.
ATF Agent : Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you and your wife to step out of the vehicle.
Tom Anderson : Well, now, wait a minute, me and the Mrs. here are on our way to Washington DC.
ATF Agent : [points gun at Anderson] Now!
Tom Anderson : [being led away] Now wait right there! You're dealing with a veteran of two foreign wars! *They're* the ones who've been whacking. I find anything broken, and I'll tangle...
Agent Fleming : Masturbating in the man's camper. We're dealing with two sick individuals. I want that camper torn apart! Full cavity searches all around! Something tells me he could be involved.
-
Agent Flemming : Well, I'll be a monkey's bare-assed uncle.
-
David VanDriessen : I assume you're a government agent. I would think you'd know there's something in this country called due process, okay?
Agent Fleming : That's about the kind of talk I'd expect from the guy who taught these two. Take this scum away.
David VanDriessen : I believe I'm supposed to be read my Miranda rights. Now, if...
[he is interrupted as an ATF agent slugs him in the chest with the butt of the rifle; VanDriessen moans in pain]